2FPornography                           The suspect sold and distributed      close-up photographs of her face.                                                                                 2MPornography                           The suspect sold and distributed      close-up photographs of his face.                                                                                 2NFederal Security Violation            The suspect stole all four hubcaps    off of the president's limosene.                                                                                  2FFederal Security Violation            The suspect broke into a federal      penetentiary - for men!                                                                                           4MCivil Fraud                           The suspect sells phony stock in an   anti-gravity machine. He was last seenin New York City approximately 12 Ft. above Times Square.                   2NFederal Tax Code Violation            The suspect returned a tax refund     check to the Internal Revenue Service                                                                             3NFederal Security Violation            The suspect is a mentally unstable    barber that gave the president a      mohawk haircut.                                                             3FAlcohol & Firearms Violation          The suspect normally works as a       topless barmaid. When serving Rum &   Coke - she doesn't use cola...                                              2NFederal Tax Code Violation            The suspect failed to report $10      winnings in an illicit frog race.                                                                                 2NGrand Larceny                         Failed to include the late-charge     while making a house payment.                                                                                     3NEspionage                             The suspect is a Canadian spy that    neutralized a toxic chemical dump     without the government's permission.                                        2NInvironmental Pollution               The suspect has not taken a bath      since 1976.                                                                                                       3NFreedom of Speech Act Violation       The suspect maliciously spiked all    the water-coolers in the U.S. Capital Building - with alum...                                                     4NHomicide                              The suspect claims to have the only   REAL irish stew...                    The recipe calls for two medium size  irishmen...                           3NCivil Fraud                           The suspect is a phony real estate    broker that sells cemetery plots to   prospective buyers as income property                                       2NPetty Theft                           The suspect stole approximately       one-million petty-coats...                                                                                        3NSmuggling                             The suspect illegally imports         Columbian agricultural goods...       Like coffee...                                                              3NFood & Drug Violations                The suspect illegally brews a         seductively sweet liquor from old     newspapers...                                                               3NViolation of Federal Banking Laws     The suspect runs a Savings & Loan Co. out of the trunk of a car - without   Federal Depositor's Insurance...                                            3NViolation of Federal Currency Laws    The suspect has successfully printed  and passed over twenty thousand       $21 bills...                                                                3NDamaging Federal Property             The suspect ruthlessly broke into the White House and pushed bubble-gum     into all the hidden microphones.                                            3FContempt of Congress                  During an investigation - the suspect steadfastly refused to give her bra   size...                                                                     4MAssault & Battery                     Being a  super saleman - the suspect  gives a practical demonstration as to why his prospective customers need    medical insurance...                  4MFederal Security Violations           While disguised as a foreign military officer - the suspect plugged-up all  the toilets in the Pentagon using     American Flags...                     3NFood & Drug Violation                 The suspect sells chocolate covered   corn cobs as `HIGH FIBER' granola     bars.                                                                       3NBookmaking                            The suspect publishes and sells a     book giving the combinations to all   the safes used by the government.                                           3NBank Robbery                          The suspect travels around the nation robbing banks of all their credit     card application forms.                                                     4MChild Support Violations              The suspect suddenly walked out of    the lives of his little family of     37 children - 14 dogs - 9 cats        - 1 wife...                           3FBunco and Civil Fraud                 Alias Madam Syaramientikoff           She claims to tell the future by      reading nosehairs.                                                          4MCivil Fraud                           The suspect is the head minister in   The Church of the Golden Fleece.      He is accused of fleecing the gold    from his congregation.                3MMental Institution Escapee            Thinks he is a H78-14 automobile tire.He was last seen rolling westbound on Interstate -80 just east of Omaha...