From smulrine@cs.strath.ac.uk Sun May 13 19:41:37 1990
From: smulrine@cs.strath.ac.uk (Stephen K Mulrine)
Subject: A translator

They thought it would never be posted...
It's my Chirpy Cockney translator which turns plaintext into something
completely different. It was "coming soon" in December 1989 but today I
dragged it out of mothballs and tidied it up for posting.

Enjoy.

#	This is a shell archive.
#	Remove everything above and including the cut line.
#	Then run the rest of the file through sh.
#-----cut here-----cut here-----cut here-----cut here-----
#!/bin/sh
# shar:	Shell Archiver
#	Run the following text with /bin/sh to create:
#	README
#	Makefile
#	ken.l
# This archive created: Mon May  7 12:54:04 1990
# By:	Stephen K Mulrine (Strathclyde University CS Dept)
echo shar: extracting README '(544 characters)'
sed 's/^:)//' << \FOO > README
:)This programs should work on any flavour of UNIX which has 'lex'.
:)
:)ken:
:)will turn English into Cockney, featuring (dubious) rhyming slang for a lot
:)of computer terminology.
:)
:)To create it in the current directory, type 
:)
:)make ken
:)
:)Use
:)  cat [file_of_text] | ken | more
:)or
:)  man [command] | ken | more
:)for endless hours of fun.
:)
:)Written by Stephen K Mulrine <smulrine%cs.strath.ac.uk@nsfnet-relay.ac.uk>
:)Make copies if you want etc.etc.
:)
:)ken is named after Ken the Chirpy Cockney Character from the Viz Comic (tm),
:)who speaks somewhat like that.
FOO
echo shar: extracting Makefile '(211 characters)'
sed 's/^:)//' << \FOO > Makefile
:)#Makefile for ken
:)
:)#Put in your favourite lex or C compiler here
:)LEX = lex
:)CC = cc
:)
:)CLIBS = -ll
:)CFLAGS = -O -s
:)RM = /bin/rm
:)
:)ken:	ken.l
:)	$(LEX) ken.l
:)	$(CC) $(CFLAGS) -o ken lex.yy.c $(CLIBS)
:)	$(RM) -f lex.yy.c
FOO
echo shar: extracting ken.l '(6975 characters)'
sed 's/^:)//' << \FOO > ken.l
:)%e 3000
:)%p 6000
:)%n 1000
:)%k 500
:)%a 4000
:)%o 2000
:)BW [ 	]
:)EW [ 	.,;!?]
:)%{
:)    char buf[128];
:)%}
:)
:)%%
:)
:)stairs		printf("apples and pears");
:)Downstairs	printf("Down the apples and pears");
:)downstairs	printf("down the apples and pears");
:)Upstairs	printf("Up the apples and pears");
:)upstairs	printf("up the apples and pears");
:)[Mm]outh	printf("North and South");
:)[Ff]ace		printf("Boat Race");
:)[Tt]rouble	printf("Barney Rubble");
:)wife		{	switch(rand()%2)
:)			{
:)			case 0: printf("trouble and strife"); break;
:)			case 1: printf("ole lady"); break;
:)			}
:)		}
:)Road		printf("Frog and Toad");
:)" road"		printf(" frog and toad");
:)"pub "		printf("rub-a-dub ");
:)" bar "		printf(" boozer ");
:)" husband"	printf(" ole man");
:)Party		printf("Knees-up");
:)party		printf("knees-up");
:)Parties		printf("Knees-ups");
:)parties		printf("knees-ups");
:)My		printf("Me");
:)" my"		printf(" me");
:)Your		printf("Yer");
:)your		printf("yer");
:)"You are "      printf("Yer ");
:)"you are "      printf("yer ");
:)You		printf("Yer");
:)you		printf("yer");
:)Those		printf("Them");
:)those		printf("them");
:)" those"	printf(" them");
:)"(those"	printf("(them");
:)"The "		{   switch(rand()%5)
:)		    {
:)		    case 0: printf("The bleedin' "); break;
:)		    default: ECHO; break;
:)		    }
:)		}
:)"The"		ECHO;
:)" the "		{   switch(rand()%5)
:)		    {
:)		    case 0: printf(" the bleedin' "); break;
:)		    default: ECHO; break;
:)		    }
:)		}
:)[" "(]the	ECHO;
:)"the "		{   switch(rand()%5)
:)		    {
:)		    case 0: printf(" the bleedin' "); break;
:)		    default: ECHO; break;
:)		    }
:)		}
:)[Tt]his		ECHO;
:)[" "(]this	ECHO;
:)[Tt]hat		ECHO;
:)[" "(]that	ECHO;
:)Thus		printf("So");
:)" thus"		printf(" so");
:)"(thus"		printf("(so");
:)"thus"		printf("so");
:)[Tt]han		ECHO;
:)[" "(]than	ECHO;
:)Who		ECHO;
:)who		ECHO;
:)" old "		printf(" ole ");
:)" to "		printf(" ter ");
:)"Aren't you "   printf("Aintcha ");
:)"aren't you "   printf("aintcha ");
:)"Aren't"	printf("Ain't");
:)"aren't"	printf("ain't");
:)"Isn't"		printf("Ain't");
:)"isn't"		printf("ain't");
:)"Are not "	printf("Ain't");
:)"are not "	printf("ain't ");
:)"Is not "	printf("Ain't ");
:)" is not "	printf(" ain't ");
:)"What is th"    printf("Woss");
:)"what is th"    printf("woss");
:)"What are you "	printf("Wotcher ");
:)"what are you "	printf("wotcher ");
:)"What you are"	printf("Wotcher");
:)"what you are"	printf("wotcher");
:)"What you're"	printf("Wotcher");
:)"what you're"	printf("wotcher");
:)"What are your"	printf("Wotcher");
:)"what are your"	printf("wotcher");
:)"What do you "  printf("Wotcher ");
:)"what do you "	printf("wotcher ");
:)"What do your"  printf("Wotcher");
:)"what do your"	printf("wotcher");
:)" "H[aeu]llo	printf(" Wotcher");
:)" "h[aeu]llo	printf(" wotcher");
:)What		printf("Wot");
:)what		printf("wot");
:)Were		printf("Was");
:)were 		printf("was");
:)Bother		printf("Ars");
:)bother		printf("ars");
:)Mother		printf("Muvver");
:)Other		printf("Uvver");
:)other		printf("uvver");
:)Father		printf("Favver");
:)father		printf("favver");
:)Rather		printf("Ravver");
:)rather		printf("ravver");
:)Weather		printf("Wevver");
:)weather		printf("wevver");
:)Leather		printf("Levver");
:)leather		printf("levver");
:)Wither		printf("Wivver");
:)wither		printf("wivver");
:)Either		printf("Eever");
:)either		printf("eever");
:)With		printf("Wiv");
:)with		printf("wiv");
:)Anything	printf("Anyfink");
:)anything	printf("anyfink");
:)Something	printf("Sumfink");
:)something	printf("sumfink");
:)Nothing		printf("Nuffink");
:)nothing		printf("nuffink");
:)guitars		printf("spoons");
:)guitar		printf("spoons");
:)drums		printf("spoons");
:)drum		printf("spoons");
:)trumpets	printf("spoons");
:)trumpet		printf("spoons");
:)violins		printf("spoons");
:)violin		printf("spoons");
:)clarinets	printf("spoons");
:)clarinet	printf("spoons");
:)trombones	printf("spoons");
:)trombone	printf("spoons");
:)oboes		printf("spoons");
:)oboe		printf("spoons");
:)flutes		printf("spoons");
:)flute		printf("spoons");
:)tubas		printf("spoons");
:)tuba		printf("spoons");
:)Data		printf("Info");
:)data		printf("info");
:)Directory	printf("Lockup");
:)directory	printf("lockup");
:)Directories	printf("Lockups");
:)directories	printf("lockups");
:)[Pp]rocess	{   switch(rand()%2)
:)		    {
:)		    case 0: printf("Queen Bess"); break;
:)		    case 1: printf("Rudolf 'Ess"); break;
:)		    }
:)		}
:)[Cc]omputer	printf("French Tutor");
:)[Bb]yte		printf("Jimmy White");
:)[Ff]iles	printf("Nobby Stiles");
:)[Ff]ile		printf("Royal Mile");
:)[Ll]anguage	printf("'Am Sandwich");
:)[Zz]ero		printf("Emperor Nero");
:)[Jj]ob		printf("Uncle Bob");
:)[Ss]hell	printf("Bow Bell");
:)[Ss]ave		printf("Chas'n'Dave");
:)[Ll]oad		printf("Old Kent Road");
:)[Mm]ouse	printf("Doll's 'Ouse");
:)[Bb]uffer	printf("Sausage Stuffer");
:)[Kk]eyboard	printf("Henry Ford");
:)[Mm]anual	printf("Cocker Spaniel");
:)[Ss]creen	printf("James Dean");
:)[Pp]rinter	printf("'Arold Pinter");
:)[Pp]lotter	printf("Pansy Potter");
:)[Cc]ompiler	printf("Martin Tyler");
:)[Ss]tring	printf("Emperor Ming");
:)[Bb]rain	printf("Michael Caine");
:)[Pp][Aa][Ss][Cc][Aa][Ll]	{   switch(rand()%2)
:)				    {
:)				    case 0: printf("Pall Mall"); break;
:)				    case 1: printf("Roald Dahl"); break;
:)				    }
:)				}
:)[Aa][Ll][Gg][Oo][Ll]	printf("Johnny Ball");
:)[Ff][Oo][Rr][Tt][Rr][Aa][Nn]	printf("Manfred Mann");
:)[Cc][Oo][Bb][Oo][Ll]	printf("Albert Hall");
:)Stopped		printf("'Ad the mockers put on");
:)stopped		printf("'ad the mockers put on");
:)Stopping	printf("Putting the mockers on");
:)stopping	printf("putting the mockers on");
:)stops		printf("puts the mockers on");
:)stop		printf("put the mockers on");
:)STOP		printf("Put The Mockers On");
:)[Ll]ondoner	printf("Cockney");
:)friend		{   switch(rand()%3)
:)		    {
:)		    case 0: printf("mucker"); break;
:)		    case 1: printf("mate"); break;
:)		    case 2: printf("china"); break;
:)		    }
:)		}
:)"a h"		printf("an '");
:)"A h"		printf("An '");
:)" h"		printf(" '");
:)" H"		printf(" '");
:)" C-"		printf(" Bruce Lee-");
:)" C "		{        switch(rand()%4)
:)			 {
:)			 case 0: printf(" Bruce Lee "); break;
:)			 case 1: printf(" Circus Flea "); break;
:)			 case 2: printf(" Bumble Bee "); break;
:)			 case 3: printf(" Door Key "); break;
:)			 }
:)		}
:)" C."		printf(" Circus Flea.");
:)Th		printf("F");
:)Wh		printf("W");
:)wh		printf("w");
:)aw		printf("or");
:)" sing"		ECHO;
:)" ring"		ECHO;
:)"ing "		printf("in' ");
:)" th"		printf(" f");
:)"th"		printf("ff");
:)". "		{   switch(rand()%32)
:)		    {
:)		    case 0: printf(". I'll get out me spoons. "); break;
:)		    case 1: printf(". Yer can't 'ave a knees-up wivout a joanna. "); break;
:)		    case 2: printf(". Cor blimey guv, would I lie to you. "); break;
:)		    case 3: printf(". I'll make us all a nice cup of tea. "); break;
:)		    default: ECHO; break;
:)		    }
:)		}
:)"? "		{   switch(rand()%3)
:)		    {
:)		    case 0: printf(", mate? "); break;
:)		    case 1: printf(", guv? "); break;
:)		    case 2: printf(", squire? "); break;
:)		    }
:)		}
:)"! "		{   switch(rand()%6)
:)		    {
:)		    case 0: printf(", cor blimey! "); break;
:)		    case 1: printf("! Struth! "); break;
:)		    case 2: printf(", guv! "); break;
:)		    case 3: printf("! Honest guv! "); break;
:)		    case 4: printf(", mate! "); break;
:)		    case 5: ECHO; break;
:)		    }
:)		}
:).		printf(yytext);
:)\n		printf("\n");
:)%%
:)
:)main()
:){
:)	srand(getpid());
:)	yylex();
:)}
FOO
#	End of shell archive
exit 0

