±±±±±±Ü ±±Ü ±±±Üܱ±±Ü ±±±±±±Ü ±±±±±±Ü ±±Ü ±±±Üܱ±±Ü ±±±±±±Ü ±±±±±±Ü ±±Ûß±±Û ±±Û ±±Û±±Û±±Û ±±Ûßßßß ß±±Ûßß ±±Û ±±Û±±Û±±Û ±±Ûßßßß ±±Ûßßßß ±±±±±Ûß ±±Û ±±Û ßß±±Û ±±±±±Ü ±±Û ±±Û ±±Û ßß±±Û ±±±±±Ü ±±±±±±Ü ±±Ûß±±Ü ±±Û ±±Û ±±Û ±±Ûßßß ±±Û ±±Û ±±Û ±±Û ±±Ûßßß ßßß±±Û ±±Û ±±Û ±±Û ±±Û ±±Û ±±±±±±Ü ±±Û ±±Û ±±Û ±±Û ±±±±±±Ü ±±±±±±Û ßß ßß ßß ßß ßß ßßßßßß ßß ßß ßß ßß ßßßßßß ßßßßßß --------------------------------------------------------------------------- FEB RELAYNET INTERNATIONAL MESSAGE EXCHANGE NEWSLETTER 1990 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- +---------------------------------+ his "Who's Who" submission in this | EDITORS FILE | months issue. A big thank you to | | Ed Lucas for being our GIFographer! +---------------------------------+ Ed is not happy about the by John Dodson, node ->CANTINA. resolution and thought the file needed further editing. I Welcome to the second issue of Rime pressured him into giving me the Times. We have set a new longevity file in order to release the record for this publication! I newsletter. It is a good start and wish to thank the folks that took I promise you Ed, I'll give you the time to make a contribution. more time next edition. Good Work! I'd also like to once again encourage any and all to try You will need a viewing program in out some of your ideas and order to display the file. contribute! CompuShow under the name CSHOWxxx.ZIP or VPic under the name You will notice a few changes in VPICxx.ZIP can be found on most BBS this issue. The newsletter is of systems. The file is inclede in course a small reflection of the two formats HOWARD.PCX (so you can evolving RIME network. Ideas, translate it into any number of columns, nodes and people will formats) and HOWARD.GIF (640X350X16 inevitably come and go. What for EGA displays. appeals to me in all this network coming and going is the sense of This is bound to "sell" a few adventure I feel from all the newsletters and hopefully will people participating in RIME. An become a monthly feature. It is adventurers spirit and a also bound to generate a little willingness to try out, listen to message traffic in the COMMON and consider a large number of conference... I can hardly wait. incredibly varied ideas makes RIME See you there! an exciting place to be! +---------------------------------+ Speaking of ideas... sometimes | WHO'S WHO IN RELAYNET | simple ideas are the best ideas. | | Howard Belasco thought of a great +---------------------------------+ idea! In an off-handed way, he This Month: Howard Belasco - mentioned the possibility of Steering Committee Member, including scanned pictures (GIF's) Conference Host of the For$ale with the newsletter! This gives new Conference , node->RUNNINGB. meaning to last month's comment about using the newsletter as a way Where to begin. Maybe a physical of getting to know each other description first. better. Howard (the adventurer!) has graciously allowed his photo to I am 6"0, 265 lbs. and will be 50 be scanned and included along with the end of March. I am clean shaven Page 2 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- FEB RELAYNET INTERNATIONAL MESSAGE EXCHANGE NEWSLETTER 1990 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- with a full head of hair. ( Why rest, as the say, is history. Even does this sound like I am answering though we exchange our mail every a personal ad? ) After my divorce day, we are still in voice contact from my first wife, I did answer daily. During one period, when we many personal ads, as well as write were writing our book, I would take some, and met my second wife that my portable to work each day ( I way. I remember that first date got there at 5:30 a.m.) and from 7 with her. I went to her apartment to 8 Bonnie and I would be in and was greeted at the door by her computer contact to exchange what and her dog. I said hello to her we had written and just to shoot and then went down on my knees to the breeze. My boss was quite pet and play with the dog. the dog surprised to see all these calls to loved it and she thought I was the Bethesda so early, but he was a greatest thing for taking the time good sport about it. to adore her animal. All those out there still looking for mates, take We still talk daily, and on the heed. Pets are very important weekends, 2 or 3 times a day. The people in a household. The way to a messages are just not enough! man might be thru his stomach, but the way to a woman is thru her pet! +---------------------------------+ | FOCUS: A RIME BBS | That dog died, and so did the | | marriage and I now live in the +---------------------------------+ Bronx, N.Y. with my first wife, and by Jon Orten, Norway National HUB we are not married. After 2 Node ->CAVE marriages, I felt it was enough and living together seems to be better I first started with computers and than marriage for us. The kids are BBS'ing about 5 years ago and like just happy to see stability, and many others, my first BBS system the arrangements work for them was RBBS 11.x (I think). I used it also. I have 3 children, oldest for about a year, but as many of my daughter married, middle son a users complained about the lack of senior in college and youngest 'last read message pointers' in the daughter a sophomore at college. conference message system, I decided to change to PCBoard 11.8. I am a wholesale rep for some I called up the Salt Air BBS and building supply companies and sell ordered it Federal Express and to general contractors and have after only 2 days the disks were in been doing this for one and one my mailbox. Some time later there half years. Prior to this I worked became more PCBoard systems in for 15 years for a large lumber Norway and we all wondered if there yard in mid-town Manhattan. were any netmail systems for PCBoard. We knew RBBS could be used As Bonnie told you last month, we under the Fido netmail systems. were only looking for a good way to keep in touch when we first put our In March 1987 or so I got in boards up 2 years ago. In fact, we contact with a BBS in Washington DC first tried to send each other the named 'Naval Engineering' (Now message bases each night, along called DC-INFO) and talked with the with the users files. That did not sysop Bill Walsh. I remember it was work well so I found Dave Garaffa very hard to convince him that I and Bonnie found Bob Schuck and the was really calling from Norway and Page 3 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- FEB RELAYNET INTERNATIONAL MESSAGE EXCHANGE NEWSLETTER 1990 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- to get access to his sysop +---------------------------------+ conference in order to download the | CONFERENCE SPOTLIGHTS | DEMO files of the PCBMAIL system | | they were using at that time. Bill +---------------------------------+ called my Norway voice number to C LANGUAGE CONFERENCE #100 make sure I was legitimate (in the middle of the night). I ordered the by Doug Maclean, Home board PCBMAIL software and set it up on a ->RUNNINGB few bbs's in Oslo. Then I called the ASTRIX Computer System which Among the many technical was the HUB for Washington Netmail. conferences found on RIME is the It was about that time that they 'C' programmers conference. This switched to PCRELAY software. We is a place for people of all levels decided to switch to too as we were of expertise to gather and talk interested joining their network. about the various aspects of the After visiting many BBS systems in 'C' language. Of all the technical the USA I got in contact with Ed conferences, the 'C' conference is Hopper's BBS, an Interlink system special in that it's format differs in Houston. I was interested in from most others. Many users have joining their network and ended up told me that this conference is getting about 20 conferences from more like an online magazine than each network. just a question and answer column. The 'C' conference is truly a forum In the meantime I heard about for the exchange of ideas and tips. something called The PCRelay The 'C' conference interacts International Network, (now RIME). greatly with two of our conferences When Don Beilfuss, the sysop of the that I host, the assembler and Astrix system closed his board to object oriented programming move out of the state, I decided to conferences. The OOPs conference is switch networks. I found a node co-hosted by Rick Kingslan. Rick list and a HUB in New York, The handles most of the Pascal coding Running Board that I could call to while I take care of the 'C' and join this network. Since there were 'C++' topics. a lot of conferences to choose from, I decided to drop the In restructuring the 'C' Interlink network. After a couple conference, I requested feedback of months I called Bonnie's Running from the many users. Their input Board to ask if she could set me up was a great help in coming up with on the NETHUB since the pc-pursuit our new format. I present a very lines in New York were terrible. specific thread where I build a complete program step by step. I now have 9 NODEs connecting with Instead of just providing code I my HUB. And that's the story of endeavor to assist in the Thunderball Cave. I would like to understanding of the whys of thank all the people I have programming. Our last two topics mentioned for the help they have were recursion and linked list given me. programming. Each thread came complete with useful programs laid out in full detail. The programs are used by the people on the conference to serve as the basis of their own programs. The 'C' Page 4 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- FEB RELAYNET INTERNATIONAL MESSAGE EXCHANGE NEWSLETTER 1990 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- conference is a friendly place to Once again, if you enjoy playing seek help and obtain great tips. We RPG games and have a driving thirst stress that there is always more to play, look around and tell me than one way to reach a solution. what would you like to see played Thinking is presented as the most in the Fantasy Conference. important part of 'C' programming. +---------------------------------+ Everyone on the conference is open | SOFTWARE REVIEWS | to new ideas. You never see | | flaming threads of "my way is +---------------------------------+ better than yours" here. We strive VGA2EGA & SQZGIF to build on all ideas presented and analyze the methods behind the By Randy Blackmond, node code. Many hours of research goes ->BASEMENT, Games conference Co- into the answers found on the 'C' Host. conference. You can tell by the dedication that all of the If you are a serious collector (or participants show. not so serious) of GIF files and you are stuck with only an EGA As the host of this very special monitor, then read on! There is a conference I am honored to serve magnificent program called VGA2EGA such a fine group of people. I and its partner, SQZGIF that I'd hope that everybody interested in like to tell you about. 'C' programming stops by and visits us. You will not be disappointed. VGA2EGA is a program which converts 256 color VGA GIF pics to 16 color FANTASY CONFERENCE # 34 EGA GIF pics. I can't go into the technicalities of how this is By Andrew Brewer, node ->BRNTWOOD accomplished (since I don't know), but suffice to say it works Action, adventure, romance beneath beautifully. I'm sure you've loaded your fingertips as the Fantasy a 256 color GIF only to find a mess conference begins another trek into of red and black on your screen and the world of the arcane - this game you just can't make heads or tails led by renowned Game Master Ari out of it. No more! Convert it with Jordon - check Fantasy for details. VGA2EGA and oula! In addition to converting these VGA pics, you can As for other news, the Fantasy also modify the color intensities Conference is looking for players to get just the right tones and to try out Peter Mengel's Marvel then save the convert. Superheroes game to be started in mid-February. He requests that A related program is called SQZGIF. they should be from Marvel Comics' While VGA2EGA works beautifully on X-Men, Alpha Flight, or X-Factor. 320x200x256 GIFs, it leaves the larger pics, e.g. 640x480x256, a The Adventures of the Starship little stretched-looking. By Enterprise resume in Star Trek: The processing the GIF through SQZGIF Next Generation, new to Fantasy. first, it is "squeezed" down to a Contact Erik Jantzen at Fantasy for 320x200x256 format that VGA2EGA can information on characters. handle easily. Page 5 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- FEB RELAYNET INTERNATIONAL MESSAGE EXCHANGE NEWSLETTER 1990 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- The latest version of VGA2EGA (or infancy. The Radio Shack store the latest I could find) is 3.0. where I bought my CB radio was the Earlier versions required about 5 computer store that got my different files in addition to business, so my first computer VGA2EGA.EXE to do the job. Now all turned out to be a Radio Shack you need is the VGA2EGA.EXE file! 'Color Computer 1' with a full 16k of memory. The latest version of SQZGIF (again, the latest I could find) is After a few months I started 1.3. It will process any GIF larger shopping computer stores in my area than 320x200. Note that to be looking for third party software. converted, the GIF must have more What I found was that most of the than 16 colors or you can use smaller computer shops were like EGA2VGA first (but that's another the hobby stores I remembered from story...). my youth. They carried not only programs, but magazines, hardware, The authors of these and other fine and books. GIF products are Lawrence and Marvin Gorman. They don't seem to The most impressive thing to me at be associated with any bulletin the time was the attitude of the boards, so the only way I know of shop keeper of my favorite store. I to contact them is by obtaining guess that's why it was my favorite their address in the doc file of store. It was like walking into the one of their fine programs and old corner grocery store. The one writing to them. owned by the same man for the last (Randy Blackmond is a programmer thirty years. for Tonka Toys twin plant operation in El Paso Texas. He has also He knew most of his customers by written more than a dozen door and there first name. When you walked utility programs for PCBoard. in he always had the time to talk Trivia War and Previous Caller are about the latest programs or about among his most popular.) the newest computers. And he knew what he was talking about, too. He +---------------------------------+ knew his computers. He could tell | CHANGING TIMES | you what type chips were used in | | them, who made the chips and why +---------------------------------+ they were good or bad. He would By Mark Scango, homeboard recommend a book off his shelf if ->ELECCITY you were having trouble writing a program or if you just wanted to It was ten years ago a friend got know more about something. He could me interested in computing. He had even tell you which of the thirty a state of the art Apple II with a or more magazines he carried would massive 48k. At the time when I probably suit your interests. entered the market for my first computer the hottest video game out I can still picture him in his blue was 'Asteroids' and the Atari home jeans and sweater mulling around video game was just being his wares. A good memory, but a introduced to the public. memory never the less. The year was 1980 and the home The industry certainly has changed computer industry was in its these last ten years. The printer I Page 6 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- FEB RELAYNET INTERNATIONAL MESSAGE EXCHANGE NEWSLETTER 1990 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- own has more than 16k of buffer +---------------------------------+ memory in it. The computer I use | THE BIG QUESTION: IS THE PC | has 1.25meg of memory. I've gone | ENVIRONMENT A SAFE PLACE TO | from a tape recorder for storage, | WORK? PART I | to a 40meg hard drive. It's true, +---------------------------------+ things have progressed for the By Peter Longo, node ->IDEALS better. Yet I still have my doubts. From a recent article in the The last time I was in my favorite Journal of the American Medical computer store, the one owned by Society. the man I spoke of earlier, I couldn't help noticing how cold "Studies completed last month at things have gotten. the University of Massachusetts Medical Center indicate a high The owner, dressed in his suit and correlation between stress and the tie, was running around from desk electromagnetic emanations coming to desk checking on sales and from VDTs (computer monitors) under inventory. He had no time to notice certain conditions. the customers coming or going. He didn't have to, he now employs a 'Much work has been done on this full staff to assist you with any topic in Sweden,' said Dr. Millard questions you might have, not to Fudnut, leader of the team of say they'll have the answers. He experimenters, 'but nothing as has moved to a brand new store with conclusive as our results has more room. He does carry all the appeared before.' Dr. Fudnut's latest brands. His software section research indicates a high has shrunk in size though, to correlation between the use of accommodate the expanded inventory. certain programs, the degree of harmful radiation a user in front The one thing that strikes me is of a VDT absorbs, and the levels of the clinical atmosphere of it all. stress reported by users and Gone are the hobby days. The days evident from their observed of wonder, the days of discovery, behavior. 'Until now, research in of finding out something new and this area has only showed a kind of passing it on to the rest. generic connection between VDTs and stress, our results indicate that I'm sure those of you who are over certain programs a person might run thirty and read this will be able actually increase the level of to relate to some part of the radiation and so the levels of story, and probably those of you stress the person suffers,' said who are under thirty will say I'm Dr. Miriam Willstipple, associate whining. biochemist and coleader of the U. Mass team. Who knows, maybe I am. But I'm sad that you will never know the Electromagnetic emissions from VDTs kinship we had back then. It didn't have long been a concern of users, matter the computer, just that you but only recently has any solid computed. research been done in this country to try and substantiate these concerns. While the full report of their work will be released next month, Fudnut and Willstipple were Page 7 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- FEB RELAYNET INTERNATIONAL MESSAGE EXCHANGE NEWSLETTER 1990 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- prepared to share some of their recently received another grant to conclusions at this point. replace some laboratory equipment 'Actually, we never expected such damaged in a recent mishap, and high degrees of correlation, and, with this new equipment they hope frankly, the levels of radiation to show that PKZIP, another popular associated with some programs were program, is responsible for acne alarming,' warned Dr. Willstipple. among teenage computer enthusiasts. 'Yes, one in particular, a communications program called +---------------------------------+ Telix, produced the highest levels | RIME's 1989 | of stress producing radiation we | TOP SHAREWARE AWARD | recorded,' Dr.Fudnut added. +---------------------------------+ By Patrick Lee, Home board Telix, a relatively new ->RUNNINGB communications program is gaining popularity among many users, Product votes especially those who run or frequent BBSs (Bulletin Board 4DOS ........... 5 Services). 'Long hours in front of AUTOMAXX ....... 1 a monitor spewing out the short BOYAN .......... 1 wave electromagnetic radiation COMMO .......... 1 associated with Telix could cause EZ-READER ...... 3 extremely erratic behavior in LIST ........... 1 individuals so exposed,' shouted MASTERKEY ...... 1 Dr. Fudnut, trying to be heard PKZIP .......... 22 above the din of an old QEDIT .......... 1 ultracentrifuge. 'We're considering QFILER ......... 1 turning over our findings to the QMAIL READER ... 1 Federal Government, since, in our QMODEM SST ..... 5 view, Telix is a menace to the ROBOCOMM ....... 2 computing community,' hollered SHEZ ........... 2 Fudnut. SWAP ........... 1 TAGGER ......... 1 'One of our subjects, a woman, TELEMATE ....... 1 actually experienced symptoms TELIX .......... 4 similar to those associated with THE DRAW ....... 1 PMS,' howled Dr. Willstipple as she struggled to pull the plug of the Total votes 55 earsplitting ultracentrifuge from the wall. 'And this was only after Well, the votes are in and we have casual use,' she shrieked from a winner! between clenched teeth, 'its difficult to predict what sorts of PKZIP received the most votes behavior we would see if someone (40%) and won 1989's Top Shareware used the program every day.' 'It's Award. (Idea by Kevin Meyer.) I really scary to think about,' know we should have more screamed Dr. Fudnut, as he hurled a categories than just one place for fire extinguisher at the stubborn all, but we can accept it for the ultracentrifuge. first year, no? Drs. Fudnut's and Willstipple's May I extend my congratulation to research will continue, they have Phil Katz for his wonderful Page 8 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- FEB RELAYNET INTERNATIONAL MESSAGE EXCHANGE NEWSLETTER 1990 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- product PKZIP, which made all of our lives a little easier. 2 week conference. Thank you. May I also thank you all who had Mini conference #2 is cost for voiced their favorite program, and nethub equipment with bids being I look forward for your continue accepted (either public or contribution this year. Again, a private.) big thank you, because without your votes, this will be SUPER REGIONALS ANNOUNCED meaningless. TO: The Members of the RIME Network +---------------------------------+ FROM: The Steering Committee | KIPS TIPS | | | The Steering Committee of the RIME +---------------------------------+ Network is very pleased to announce PCRelay Hints from the Author Kip that we have taken a major step in Compton, node ->CONNECT maintaining our commitment to you and to all future users of RIME. In all the menus of the config.exe This step helps to better define you can start typing letters and it and shape our objectives and will will do a "speed search" with that allow us to continue to provide the letter, thereby shortening your best of BBS network service, with time in reaching the particular an eye on increasing local autonomy menu that you want to access. and responsibility. +---------------------------------+ We take great pleasure in | NOTES FROM THE | announcing that the following | ADMINISTRATION CONFERENCES | people have accepted the position +---------------------------------+ of Super Regionals of RIME. They The new mini administrative are: conference deals with one issue topics. The following is a message 1. Ed Lucas of HUBHOU and HUBKEY capture from that conference: 2. William Parfitt of HUBSD Mini conference #1 is now closed. (Selection of new equipment for the 3. Ken Hunt of HUBPETE dedicated on-demand mailer at NETHUB) 4. Lana Fox & Don Cheeks of HUBZN The equipment we have picked is the 5. Jeff Woods of HUBKC following: 6. Brandon Hayden of HUBSOMD 386 25mh CPU 4 megs of ram 7. Tess Heder & Brian Miller of 1 com port with 16550 UART HUBCHAN Approximately 100 meg hard disk with ESDI caching controller with Each of the SRs will exchange mail at least 1/2 meg on it. at least twice daily with the 1.2 floppy NetHub, with an optional third 10 mps lan cards relay possible. update lan software monochrome monitor and card Page 9 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- FEB RELAYNET INTERNATIONAL MESSAGE EXCHANGE NEWSLETTER 1990 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- We extend a very warm and gracious +---------------------------------+ welcome to these dedicated | ASK MISS NETIQUETTE! | individuals, and wish them well in | | their new capacity and endeavors. +---------------------------------+ Dear Miss Netiquette, Each SR is to function on a more or less autonomous level, in that each I have just joined the world of is encouraged, with SC and regional BBSing and netmail or e-mail or assistance and support, to develop whatever you call it. What I'd and implement regional procedures, like to know is the proper conferences and other areas of etiquette for doing quotes or regional interest. Each is a quoting or whatever you call it regional representative of RIME. As ...you know ..repeating someone such, each may develop groups, else's message in your response? committees and other areas of participation and growth. Each is signed, confused expected to enforce the by-laws and to ensure adherence to the by-laws Dear Whatever-you-call-you, by their regional members. There are many sides to this Furthermore, the Steering Committee important issue and the groups fall wants you to understand that no HUB into three basic camps. There are who is currently calling the NetHub those of us with photographic will be forced to discontinue doing memories that believe that quoting so. However, in the spirit of a message is nothing but redundancy cooperation, we ask that those of piled upon redundancy piled upon you who do call the NetHub at least redundancy. This camp has much more give thought to now (or in the near mind space than disk space and so future) calling the Super Regional are also known as "byte watchers". in your area instead, if feasible (What occupies this extra mind and viable for you to do so. As space is another hotly debated you may already know, our resources topic.. not to be covered here.) A at the NetHub (particularly second camp believes in massive designated time-slots) are quoting with little in the way of a stretched to a virtual limit, and reply. This camp has plenty of disk any time that can be freed would space and even MORE mind space not only help us, but would ensure (again, not to be covered here) and adequate connections and better so are referred to as either "disk" mail turn around for our SRs. or "space" or the combo "disk-space heads". And thirdly, the two-line Each of the SRs is of course well quoters that quote just enough of equipped to support the hubs and the message so that neither they nodes in his/her/their region. nor the person they are sending the Crossing regions to prevent in- message too have the foggiest idea state dialing fees, as before, is what the original question was or, allowed and encouraged. if a reply was attempted, understand that the reply refers to the two-line quote of the original unintelligible question. A typical exchange of this camp goes something like this: User A: "I do not understand your reply... I Page 10 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- FEB RELAYNET INTERNATIONAL MESSAGE EXCHANGE NEWSLETTER 1990 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- forgot the question?" User B: "I hammer to get extra life out of a have no reference number on your malfunctioning computer eventually message and so I have no idea what cost him his power supply (no I was replying to that you said, if surprise here!), his HD controller you don't understand it, I might and his motherboard! have been drunk when I entered it. Just ignore whatever I said!" Also, Spacebars continue to malfunction with alarming And so, What-ever-you-call-you, the frequency. The spacebars of Mark only other thing I can add to the Adams, Andrew Brecker, Bob Becker, above valuable lesson is this: It Cheryl Baez, Patrick Lee, Jeffrey is better to be quotable than to be Callaway and Howard Belasco are on honest(or sober depending on the the fritz. day of the week). +---------------------------------+ READERS: Miss Netiquette wants to | NOTICES | give all her readers a big fat kiss | | and wish everyone a Happy +---------------------------------+ Valentines Day! 'Till next month The RIME Times is published monthly Toodle-Loo! by the membership of RelayNet International Message Exchange as Have a RelayNet problem you can't its official newsletter. Users and seem to ask anyone about? Ask Miss Sysops are encouraged to Nettiquette! (if you dare) contribute. Submissions and questions may be directed to the editor John Dodson, node ->CANTINA. +---------------------------------+ (c)Copyright 1990, The RelayNet | AS SEEN ON THE BIT STREAM | International Message Exchange. | | Permission is hereby granted for +---------------------------------+ unlimited distribution and duplication, provided such TAGLINE OF THE MONTH: distribution and duplication are "My Karma ran over My Dogma" strictly for non-commercial As seen on a message from Bill purposes only. All other rights Dyszel. Suggested by Aaron Hagan. reserved. RelayNet and RIME are registered trademarks. BORING THREAD OF THE MONTH: Center (Which state is the geographical of the U.S.) THE THREAD THAT LOST CONTROL: Smokers, Smokers Unite, Non-Smokers go outside, Smokers Unite/Diesel. MALFUNCTION OF THE MONTH: (Please kids don't try this at home, let only qualified professionals attempt this.) Jeff Woods technique of hitting his power supply with a carpenters