More from Zerro! (and you thought we would run out of this stuff! Ha!) To get people to think they are thinking begets friendship, whereas actually to make people think begets resentment. There is no level so low to which people will not stoop, even honorable people, to avoid the difficulty of thinking. Some folks can have several trains of thought going down the track at the same time with litte difficulty. The problem lies in the fact that these folks have no terminal for the trains. In the United States, there is a lot more space with a fewer people than there is less space with a lot more people. Its things like this that make America what it is. However, it won't always be the way it was, and it is a lot different now than it used to be. The first time you buy a house, you look and see how pretty the paint is, and then you buy the house. The second time you buy a house, you check for termites in the basement. It is kind of like that with your second marriage. If you don't got the money, than don't go to none of them auctions, cause if you do, you can be in real deep trouble by a simple wrong move at the right time for the wrong reasons. The more you know about politics, the more assured you are that each and every party is worse than the other. The person who quite clearly knows nothing but thinks that he knows absolutely everything has a very distinct orientation toward a political career. Politics is a nice name for something which otherwise would be called the law of the jungle. You can bet your life on the fact that a clock in the workplace, running slow, will be corrected before the end of the first day. You can't be happy if you do things different when you do them than when you discuss them. The current bran frenzy has lots of folks feeling their oats and many of them have been noticed of late, horsing around. Marriages tend to last a little longer if someone manages to inform the participants that often it happens that better comes AFTER worse! Wise up folks, there is no such thing as free democracy any more than there is free citizenship. Probably one of the greatest tests of self-control is expertise in the abilty to perform a task, while watching someone do what you can do so well, in the wrong way, with predictably disasterous results, and not say anything. Education is learning that you did not even know what you did not even know you did not even know. Peace is not necessarily God's gift to you, it is your gift to others and their gift to you. Home is the place you grow up in and want to leave, only to get a little older and grow fond of coming back to. Scientists are folks who would rather count than guess. If time heals all wounds, as you grow older, you'll get better. Hell is filled with amateur musicians, all playing their ghetto blasters louder than the one next to them. If you can't change your opinion, you have already been the customer of a funeral home, or you are the most obstinate person ever to walk the face of the earth. If order is heaven's first law, there's just a whole pack of us in serious deep trouble.. When you next look at a cow eating some grass, pause a little longer and recall that science has not yet come up with a good response as to how grass is turned into milk. If order is heaven's first law, I live just three blocks the other side of hell. A pessimist is a person who feels bad when he feels good for fear he will feel worse when he feels better. A pessimist is always frustrated, for when they take joy in having proved that there is no joy they have contradicted themself and must start all over again. Opinions founded in ignorance are usually expressed as prejudice and require that to maintain them, one must use violence. When it is not necessary to change it is necessary not to change. When someone says "This is old, therefore it is good," or "This is new, therefore it is better," you know you are talking with one or another variety of fool. A conservative is a person who does not think that anything should be done for the first time. There is one surprise in life that we can still experience, and that is that there are some things in this life which can and do surprise us. You Heard It Here Department: Pete Rose is opening a new motel chain, The Wager Inn. Cher is starting a new chain of restaurants called "The Rib Cage." Be happy with what you got and don't worry none about what you ain't got, cause you can't get happy when you is worry filled. If you got it, enjoy it, and if you ain't got it, don't give it no worry. That person who falls in love with self alone, falls in love with one of the meanest mortals known. Blessed are they have have nothing to say and can not be persuaded with any known prize, to say it. Never jump on a man unless he is down, and when you do, make sure that you confuse him by supplying him with so many facts that he can not possibly understand what you are saying. I agree with you on practically everything you say including even the fact that on most things we don't see eye to eye. The freedom to make mistakes makes for the better forms of creativity, but creativity varies inversely with the number of mechanics trying to solve the problem. There is a very thin line between the creative genius and the oddball, the screwball. I haven't been able to put that line down yet. So, I must suffer the occasional screwball. Before you speak, just remember that you will not be asked to explain what you did not say! There are two ways to kill a good idea. Take it to a meeting for one, and turn it over to a committee, for the second. There are few things more threatening than a person equipped with just one idea, one direction. A sophisticated rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity, can repetitively reiterate redundant reduplications of previously discussed material to the point where it becomes tendiously obdurate and almost intolerable. Why is it that when a man goes to hunt bear, it is sport, but when the bear comes to hunt man, it is violence? A state from which religion is banished can never be a well managed state that meets the needs of the people. Never get too serious in life, because after serious, the next step is being dull, and after that it is a short step to boring. May you live all the days of your life! Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you, cause if you do, you are in big trouble, serious trouble, lots of trouble and more trouble yet. ZERRO SPEAKS: All of the above material was stolen from a wide variety of sources. Sometimes it was a direct steal, often called research when you do it wholesale. Sometimes, what someone else is said to have said was an inspiration to something that appears here entirely new. And a few of these things were new and just completely original. Whatever the source, the hope is that some of the material above will cause you to laugh. Laughter is the sole/only/exclusive/complete/unique/unilateral purpose of this whole ZERRO thing. Zerro is for electronic bulletin boards and appears where ever we have a sytem operator (Sysop) who will allow such things! You have something you just absolutely have a burning desire to see as part of ZERRO and want to contribute that to this feature. You have something that you think is amusing. You have something that may hold the attention of the stupidly simple-minded. You have something that you want to get out of your digs, lest after you die someone find and discover what sort of perverted, warped, creep you really are! You are over 20 years of age and STILL read MAD Magazine, which proves you are some sort of slimy subversive type. There is a place that will gladly receive these items and even read them. The perpetrator of ZERRO is always looking for a means to start yet another installment. This may be a latent unconscious revenge on society, who really knows? At any rate, you can send the material you want to contribute to this monumental effort to: Resident Idiot - Scribe Zerro P. O. Box 38 Buffalo, Illinois 62515 PLEASE! Do not change the numbering of the installments of Zerro, and do not add or subtract from what is there. Zerro has certain standards, hard to define, but there nonetheless, which do not allow some offensive material to appear here. If you send something that fits within these general lines, it will certainly be used. Collect all of these wonderful ZERRO works. Be the first in your neighborhood, area, state, region, planet or galexy to have a complete set. There are not all that many around. And there are not all that many folks around with the drive/time/idiocy quotient that would allow them to seek out all of the installments of Zerro, either. So there. Zerro23.... Ends Here!