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It's a dog-eat-dog world and I'm wearin' MILKBONE shorts.
Medic-Alert in Space: I've fallen and I can't get down.
Manure Occurs.
Toto, I don't think this is Kansas anymore...
Is it wetter under water when it rains???
I programmed my Function Keys for bodily functions...
I'm a victim of soicumstance...nyuk, nyuk, woo-woo
Bennett Cerf Rules!!
Word Games should be an Olympic event!!!
Churchmice do it religiously...
<End of Message message>
Connecticut is taxing my patience....at 4.5%!!!
The State would make more money with an OUTGO Tax!!!
In case of fire, press <F1> for HELP
I wish my job came with a PAUSE key....
I adjusted my BRIGHTNESS control and got no smarter!!
HINDER!!  You'll have to post again...
Racquetballers get it in the corners!!
Racquetballers get in on the first bounce!!
World According to Jim defines ICE SKATE as: A FROZEN MS. CHASE
World According to Jim: CHARLEY HORSE = Mr Smith with laryngitis.
World According to Jim: Psychotic LA>'s = "DANGEROUS LEE-AYRTONS"
World According to Jim: BOB UPSON'S ALES = what toy boats do.
W.A.T.Jim: Visiting Rick Moranis' Tattoo Parlor = MAY NERD MARK YE
World According to Jim: ROB SCHMALLING COMES = what Federal taxes do.
World According to Jim: PHILANTHROPIST = Angry Cygnus Sysop Al
Falling Cookware Area..ECHO legally closed. Post at your own risk.
Falling Cookware Area.  Hardhat Strongly Recommended.
Falling Cookware Area.  DEADPAN Expression Required.
Falling Cookware Area.  Turn Off 2-Way Radios.
Falling Cookware Area.  Bitstream merge to single lane.
Let a smile be your umbrella..you'll get a mouthful of rain.
In order to enjoy the rainbow, one must first endure the rain.
Silence is more oft GUILT than GILT.
Why did the duck cross the road?  He was stapled to the chicken!!
World According to Jim: BBS for Snobbish Users = "Stuffy Node"
World According to Jim: Asian Off-line Reader = "Orient Xpress"
..and now a word from our sponsor!
Press F1 to continue, or any other key to wait.
If you have a Touchtone phone, press 1.  If not, press 2.
The opinions expressed above are not necessarily those of this BBS.
Let Me Out!!!
World According to Jim: AUTO DIALER =  a car phone
Press F1 if necessary.
World According to Jim: BBS Messages for Mr.Cummings = "e. e. Mail"
That's all, Folks!!
You can't starve in the desert, 'cuz of the SAND WHICH IS there!
World According to Jim: DROPPED CARRIER = Parachutist Mailman
World According to Jim: MODEM = What to do with tall weeds
World According to Jim: TOTAL JOINT REPLACEMENT = a rebuilt tavern
World According To Jim: MOUSE SUPPORT = Jockstraps for Rodents
Occasional Failure is the price of Improvement..
Adam & Eve couldn't gamble...they lost their PAIR O' DICE.
Noah couldn't gamble...an elephant sat on his DECK.
Scwewy Wabbitt!!
Say yaw pwayahs...I'm gonna bwast ya, wabbit!
Consarn ya! Ya long-earred galoot!
Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk...
I think it's time for my medication...
These are definately not my shorts...
I think I contracted this virus from my computer...

