This ain't no party...this ain't no disco... Clap on! (clap, clap) Clap off! (clap@#&$NO CARRIER 186,000 miles/sec: Not just a good idea, it's the LAW. By all means, let's not confuse ourselves with the facts! Do I mind if you smoke? No. Do you mind if I FART? I refuse a battle of wits with an unarmed person! ILink Bicycling Conference Host o This is just a hobby. Perfection is not required. Fun is. You've got to be trusted by the people that you lie to. A bad day on the bike always beats a good day in the office! A BBSer's telephone bill knows no bounds... A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. A closed mouth gathers no feet. A committee has 6 or more legs and no brain. A friend in need is a PEST indeed... A friend: someone who likes you even after they know you. A living example of Artificial Intelligence. A man needs a good memory after he has lied. A man's best friend is his dogma. A mind is a terrible thing to ... er ... hmmmm? A phaser on stun is like a day without orange juice. A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago. A single fact can spoil a good argument. A stitch in time would have confused Einstein. A yer ago I kudnt spel progremr now I are won. Agnodyslexic plea: "why ME, dog?" Ah, come on, just this one last little feature. Air Geordis - TNG footwear Alex, I'll take "Things Only I Know" for $1000. All generalizations are false, including this one. All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here. All I need to know I learned from my cat. All in a day's work for..."Confuse-a-Cat"! All in all it's just a... 'nother brick in the wall! All programers are optimists. Always proofread carefully to see if you any words out. An ulcer is what you get mountain climbing over molehills. And now for something completely different... Are we having Fahrvergngen yet?? Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. As easy as 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716 As I said before, I never repeat myself. As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia. ASCII and ye shall receive. ASCII stupid question... get a stupid ANSI! Ask not for whom the bell tolls; let the machine get it. Assumption is the mother of all screwups... Aural Sex produces eargasms. Back Up My Hard Drive? I Can't Find The Reverse Switch! Barium: what you do with dead chemists. Be nice to your enemies, it drives them nuts. Beam me aboard Scotty. Aye, will a 2x4 do, Captain? Best file compressor around: DEL *.* (100% compression!) Better ... stronger ... faster! Beware of Geeks bearing gifs. Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers. Black holes really suck... Black Holes were created when God divided by zero! Bo Knows Taglines! Borg spreadsheet: Locutus 1-2-3 Borg? Where? I don't se*(#$#..NO CARRIER Both of his feet are firmly planted in the air. Break up a relationship - buy a computer!! BREAKFAST.COM Halted... Cereal Port Not Responding. But honey, we can afford it, I sold your car! But I forgot all about the Amnesia Conference!! Buy a supscription to Playboy and send it to your boss' wife Buy American! C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN DOS RUN Can you see the REAL ME, can ya?!?! CAN YA??!?!!?!?!?!?! Can't learn to do it well? Learn to enjoy doing it badly! Cars suck. CAUTION: RIDER MAY BAIL AT ANY TIME Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular. Clarvoiants meeting canceled due to unforseen events. Clones are people two. Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades! Cogito ergo spud I think therefore I yam. Come in here, dear boy, have a cigar, you're gonna go far! Committees keep minutes and lose hours. Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. Confused? Call Counselor Troi 1-900-NCC-1701: $1.95/minute CONgress (n) - Opposite of PROgress Constant change is here to stay. Contentsoftaglinemaysettleduringshipping. Copywight (c) 1993 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved. Corrupt REALITY.SYS: Reboot Universe (Y/n)? Courage atrophies from lack of use. Cyclists pump it up and crank it out. Daddy, what does "Formatting Drive C:" mean? Damn this hobby is expensive! Dance naked in front of your pets. Death benefits = oxymoron. Death is just God's way of dropping carrier. Death on two legs...you're tearin' me apart !!!! Definition of Terror: A female Klingon with PMS. Dessert? I'll take a piece of cherry . Diagonally parked in a parallel universe. Dinner Not Ready...(A)bort (R)etry (P)izza Dirty deeds - DONE DIRT CHEAP! Discoveries are made by not following instructions. Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them. DO NOT REMOVE THIS TAGLINE (UNDER PENALTY OF LAW)! Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives? Do unto others BEFORE they do unto you! DOC files? We don't need NO STINKIN' DOC FILES! Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? Dogs come when you call. Cats have answering machines. Don't be afraid to drive a nail in the wood! Don't drink and park...accidents cause people. Don't steal. The government hates competition. Don't take life too seriously...it's not permanent. Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice. DOS never says "EXCELLENT command or filename, Dude!" Drive A: format failure, formatting C: instead... Drive C: Error, (A)bort (R)etry (I)gnore (K)ick (S)cream Dumb luck beats sound planning every time. Trust me. Dyslexics are persona au gratin. Dyslexics have more fnu. Dyslexics of the world...UNTIE! Eagles may soar but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines! Eat Healthy, Exercise, and Die Anyway ... Efficiency takes time! Frugality: who can afford it? Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery. Ensign Pillsbury: He's bread Jim! Error reading REALITY.SYS - Universe Halted Eschew obfuscation! Even in this corner of the galaxy, Captain, 2+2=4 ... Spock Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? Every man's work is a portrait of himself. Everyone has photographic memory...some don't have film! Everyone is entitled to my opinion. Everyone's expendable...and no one has a real friend Everything that is not mandatory is forbidden. Experience is a good teacher but her fees are high... Facts Just Get In The Way And Impede Progress. Fahrvergnkie: (n) Sex in a Volkswagen. Faster than a speeding ticket! FATAL SYSTEM ERROR: Press F13 to continue... Feel lucky???? Update your software! FIGHT BACK! Fill out your tax forms with Roman numerals. First RAAM rider? Thomas Stevens, 1884, 103 1/2 days! Floggings will continue until morale improves. For at the end of history lies the undiscovered country. For discussion only. Not to be relied upon. Forget the diet center; send yourself a candygram. Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES! Fraud(n): A telephone number starting with "1-900" Free your mind ... the rest will follow! Friction can be a drag sometimes. Friends don't let friends ride JUNK! Fun with Greek #3: She's my cherry ! General stupidity error reading drive C: Get your filthy hands off my dessert! Go shopping. Buy Stuff. Sweat in it. Return it the next day. Grab your helmet, get your bike, it's SHOWTIME! Gravity: Not just a good idea...it's the LAW. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional!! Gun control is being able to hit your target! Handwritten on a condom machine; "This gum tastes funny" Happiness is DEAD AIR at 25 mph! Happiness is finding special characters  Happiness is Long Steady Distance. Hard work never killed anyone but why take the risk? Hasta la vista, Baby! Have it OUR way. Yours is IRRELEVANT. At BORGerKing. He who asks timidly makes denial easy. He who laughs, lasts. He's not dead, Jim, he's just metabolically challenged. Hello, I am part number ޺۳ݳݳ. Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy! Help! I'm parked diagonally in a parallel universe. Help!!! I'm falling and I can't click out!!! Help, I'm slipping into the Twilight Zone! Hey, Worf...I hooked Data up to a Modem...Wanna see? Hi, I'm from Corporate. I'm here to help you. Hi. I'll be your tagline for this evening. High message: 9434567. Message last read: 9. Hills weed out the weak. Darwin would argue this is good. Hmm...Nice tagline. SUCKER!!! AH, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Honey, PLEASE don't pick up the PH$@#*&$^(#@&$^%(*NO CARRIER How come the AT&T logo looks like the Death Star? How do you know it's summer in Seattle? Rain's warm! How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand! How much can I get away with and still go to heaven? Hydrate or Die. I *LOVE* it when a plan comes together! I always lie. In fact, I'm lying to you right now! I am Clinton of Borg. Your income will be assimilated. I am Homer of Borg! Prepare to be...OOooooo! Donuts!!! I am Lancelot of Borg. Resistance is feudal. I am what I am and that's all that I am. I am. Therefore, I think. I think. I BBS because no one can read my handwriting. I can resist everything except temptation. I can't believe my computer's on fire. I didn't know it was impossible when I did it. I don't care if I'm apathetic. I don't have a solution but I admire the problem. I don't think, therefore I am not. I had a life once... now I have a computer and a modem. I hate to repeat gossip, so I'll only say this once. I have a speech impediment....my foot!!! I may not always be perfect, but I'm always me. I only counted 100 dalmatians...!!! I remember when Saturns were rockets, not cars. I spilled spot remover on my dog, and now he's gone! I think you hear me knocking, and I think I'm comin' in! I tried to drown my problems but they can swim! I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure. I used to watch TV, then I bought a modem. I want to ride my BICYCLE, I want to ride my BIKE! I was going to procrastinate, but I put it off.... I wish life had a scroll-back buffer..... I woke up in a Soho doorway...a policeman knew my name..! I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac! I _love it_ when a plan comes together! I'd like to live like a poor person with lots of money. I'd rather be bicycling! I'll get you yet, you kwazy wabbit! I'll jump off that bridge when I come to it. I'll tell you what's the matter! This parrot is dead! I'm a cowboy ... on a steel horse I ride! I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay! I'm an absolute, off-the-wall fanatical moderate. I'm dangerous when I know what I'm doing. I'm fallin' down a spiral, destination unknown! I'm fascinated by the way memory diffuses fact. I'm from Jersey! You from Jersey? Yeah? What exit? :) I'm in shape ... Rounds a shape isn't it? I'm learning to fly ... and I don't have wings! I'm leaving my body to science fiction. I'm no stranger, just a friend you haven't met... I'm not a complete idiot - several parts are missing. I'm not dead. I'm electroencephelographically challenged. I'm not lost! I'm "locationally challenged." I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am. I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this? I'm not schizophrenic. It's this guy beside me! I'm not tense, just terribly alert. I'm sure it's in the manual somewhere... I've used up all my sick days...so I'm calling in dead! If a tree falls on a florist, would he make a sound? If all goes well, you've overlooked something! If At First You Don't Succeed Ignore The Docs... If at first you don't succeed, call it v1.0! If evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve. If I save the whales, where do I keep them? If I save time, when do I get it back ? If I were you, who'd be me? If I'm gonna eat somebody, it might as well be you. If it's not broke, let me take a crack at it. If Q were castrated, would he become O? If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit? If speed scares you, try Windows... If the shoe fits, put it in your mouth. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance. If this is sin, baby count me in, I can't turn back now! If this were an actual tagline, it would be funny. If winning isn't important then why keep score? If you associate with the wise, you will become wise. If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand. If you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the porch. If you hear an onion ring please answer it. If you say nothing, no one will repeat it. If you wish work poorly done, pay in advance. If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it! Ifyoucanreadthis,youspendtoomuchtimefiguringouttaglines! Ignorance is temporary; stupid is forever. Illiterate? Write for FREE HELP! Innovate or Die. Innuendo: An Italian suppository. Insanity is just a state of mind. International Brotherhood of Tagline Thieves. Is it in my head...or in my heart? Is this yours? Your dog left it on my lawn... isted, just an earthbound misfit I. ntainthe conference It can't be full...I STILL HAVE SUBDIRECTORIES! It depends on which end he tries to light... It doesn't work, but it looks pretty. It has many other uses as well. Allow me. Worf It is bad luck to be superstitious. It is better to be brief than boring. It is fatal to live too long. It is, after all, only a moment in the infinity of time. It said "insert disk #3" - but onty two will fit... It works better when you turn the brightness up. It's 10:00 PM...do YOU know where YOUR tagline is? It's a fine line between fishing & standing still It's a tough job! ..... So I'd Rather YOU do it. It's a...nice day for a...white wedding! It's as easy as 3.14159265358979323846264338327950... It's dj vu all over again. It's easier to obtain forgiveness than permission. It's Ensign Flintstone - he's Fred, Jim. It's not a person, damnit! It's a Borg! It's not easy having an overbearing parent! - Troi It's not GEEK - it's SOCIALLY CHALLENGED, dammit! It's not in the manual !!!!! It's not just a hobby, it's an obsession! It's not pretty being easy. It's not the money I want, it's the stuff. It's only a bike ... only a bike ... only a bike ... only a It's only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only a It's only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is...dead, Jim. It's worse than that, it's physics, Jim! Itsdifficulttobeverycreativewithonlyfiftysevencharacters! Jesus saves...Passes to Moses..Shoots....Scores! Johann Sebastian Schwarzenegger - "I'll be BACH!" Join the Group Mind - become a Borg Joseph Stalin's grave was a Communist Plot. Jumbo shrimp = oxymoron. Junk: stuff we throw away. Stuff: junk we keep. Just do it. Keyboard Not Found - Press [F1] to Continue Kids-They're not sleeping, they're recharging! Killer Rabbit's Motto: "Lettuce Prey." Laddie, ya think ya might like ta ... rephrase that? Let's organize this thing and take all the fun out of it. Lets all take the TIME to really LISTEN 2 our KIDS Life - brief interlude between nothingness and eternity. Life can be great if you live it to the fullest! Life's a bitch and then you die. LISTEN HERE! I HAVE FIRST AMENDENT RIGH(@#$!9*&^ NO CARRIER Locked coathanger in car. Good thing I had a key. LOTUS - Let Only The Users Suffer Love, reign o'er me...reign o'er me! Luxuriantly hand-crafted from only the finest ASCII. Madness takes its toll; please have exact change. Make Headlines..use a corduroy pillow.... Make me an offer. I have a computer to support!! Make up a language and ask people for directions. Mary had a little lamb. The doctor was surprised. Meditation is not what you Think. Meet the new Boss--same as the old Boss... Member: International Brotherhood of Tagline Thieves! Memory is a thing we forget with. Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay. Minds are like parachutes, they only work when open. Multitasking causes schizophrenia.. Murphy's law needs to be repealed. My *taglines* are original. *I* am a copy. My computer can beat your computer. My haystack had no needle! My other computer is a Cray Y/MP-4! My other computer is a HAL 9000. My other vehicle is a Galaxy Class Starship ... My reality check just bounced. Name:޺۳ݳݳ Rank:޺۳ݳ Serial No:޺۳ NAVY: Never Again Volunteer Yourself nd do not "see" the network.--- RM 1.2 01188 RNET Never eat more than you can lift. Never enough time, unless you're serving it. Never judge a man by his taglines. Never judge a man by his taglines. Never park your hard disk in a tow-away zone. Never test for an error you don't know how to handle! Never test for an error you don't know how to handle. No one ever said "if I'd only spent more time in the office" No one EXPECTS the Spanish Inquisition!!! No wanna work. Wanna bang on keyboard. NO! Taco Bell is NOT the Mexican Phone Company! No, I'm from Iowa. I only work in Outer Space. No, Q, I meant a BUD light! Nobody roots for Goliath. Not a computer nerd; merely a techno-weenie. Not now, John, we gotta get on with the game show... Nothing is so smiple that it can't get screwed up. Now that I've given up hope I feel much better... Obe Wan Kenobi at the dinner table: "Use the FORKS, Luke!" Of all the things I've lost...I miss my mind the most. Of course I'm running Windows NO CARRIER Oh no, not another learning experience! Oh, Bullwinkle, that trick NEVER works! OK Scotty, NOW! Detonate and energize! I mean....... Ok, I pulled the pin. Now what? Where are you going? OK, I'm weird! But I'm saving up to be eccentric. Old age is better than the alternative. On the other hand..you have five different fingers One is never as happy or unhappy as one imagines. One tactical thermonuclear weapon can ruin your whole day. One way to better your lot is to do a lot better... Only those who don nothing make no mistakes. Open mouth. Insert foot. Echo internationally! Optical mice have no balls! Our necessities are few but our wants are endless... Out here in the fields...I fight for my meals...! Out of Memory!? But I fed you 6 Megs this morning! Outlaw junk mail, and save the trees! Pay your electric bill in pennies. Plankton lobbyist: "NUKE THE WHALES!" Plasma is another matter. Please recycle this tagline. Once is not enough. Please Tell Me if you Don't Get This Message Pound forehead on keyboard to continue. Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat. Prejudice is the reason of fools. - Voltaire. Press -- to continue... Press any key to continue or any other key to quit Procrastination means never having to say you're sorry. Program too small to fit into memory. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out. Prune Juice. A warriors drink! Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots. Quasimodo is a dead ringer. Random order = oxymoron Rap music = oxymoron Read the dictionary backwards and look for secret messages. Real Trekkers work out at the He's Dead Gym. Reality is for people who can't handle Star Trek. Reduce brain fat. Eat Moral Fiber. Reduce Carbon Dioxide emmissions - STOP Breathing Remember, Subaru spelled backwards is U-R-A-BUS. Res ipsa loquitor. RIDE BIKE! Romulan warbird decloaking sir... [ NO CARRIER S met ing's hap ening t my k ybo rd . . s of the network so that the callers have good conferencesa Same to you and whatever you meant by that! Schizophrenic? I'm a bleedin' Quadrophenic! - The Who, 1972 Scotty, HURRY! Beam me ud{ՊR W #c(&NO CARRIER Sector Not Found (A)bort, (R)etry, (C)offee? Send more tourists..... the last ones were delicious! Set laser printers to "stun". Shall we...pick up the pace, gentlemen? Share the road! Bikes belong! Share the road! Cars belong! Shareware: forget the manual...phone the author at home! Shell to DOS...come in, DOS...do you read...over? Shh! Be vewy quiet, I'm hunting wuntime errors! Shoot your program and put it out of its memory! Shoplifters with the runs take Clepto Bismol Show me a sane man. I'll cure him for you. Sign outside brothel: On Vacation. Beat it. Silly wabbit, .QWKs are for kids. Skating away ... on the thin ice of a new day! Sliding down the razor blades of life... Smash forehead on keyboard to continue... Smile... people will wonder what you've been up to. So...did they get you to trade...your heroes for ghosts? Some days you're a bug, other days a windshield. Some Do, Some Don't, Some Will and Some Won't. Some minds should be cultivated, others plowed under... Some people are, through no fault of their own, sane. Sorry, I forgot all about the Amnesia Conference! Sorry... my mind has a few bad sectors. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (yep/Nope) Spaceman Spiff, Interplanetary Explorer! Spelling errors? NO WAY! I've got an ERROR-CORRECTING MODEM! Stay Alert. Stay Awake. Stay Alive. Still waters run deep, so be careful I don't drown you! Stop tagline theft! Copyright your tagline (c) Stupidity got us into this mess, why can't it get us out? SYSTEM ERROR: press F13 to continue... Tagline Lotto: <- Scratch here for prize. Tagline theft is a compliment. Taglines \'tag-linz \ The bumperstickers of BBS'ing. Take a bite out of crime .. Abolish the IRS! The backup's not over 'til the FAT table sings! The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. The best defense is to stay out of range. The Borg assimilated me & all I got was this stupid T-Shirt! The days of the digital watch are numbered The evidence before the court is...INCONTROVERTIBLE! The eyes are the mirror of the soul. The fecal material has hit the air circulating device. The first rule of intelligent tinkering is save all parts! The future is like the present, only longer. The future isn't what it used to be. The heart is wiser than the intellect... The irony of life is that no one gets out alive... The lab called: your brain is ready. The man who begins many things finishes few. The moving cat sheds, and having shed, moves on... The next thing to do is hang all the consultants. The only thing shorter than a weekend is a vacation. The option to override self-destruct expir@^%i@&$#NO CARRIER The PARITY CHECK is in the E-MAIL... The road to success is under construction... The soul would have no heart had the eyes no tears... The Tour de France! o The universe is a spheroid region 705 meters in diameter... The worst thing about censorship is . There is no finish line. Thesaurus: ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary. Things are not what they seem. This Charlie Brown must have been a very wise man. This is a Tagline mirror>