;REMEMBER THESE LAWS, THEY WILL CERTAINLY 
;REMEMBER YOU.  
; 
Crittendon`s 14th application 
of Murphy`s First Law:  You cannot successfully 
determine beforehand which side of the bread to 
butter.

Ginsberg`s Theorems:
  1) You can`t win.
  2) You can`t break even.
  3) You can`t even quit the game.

Weiler`s Law:
  Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn`t 
  have to do it himself.

Chisolm`s Third Law, Corollary 3:  Procedures 
  designed to implement the purpose won`t quite 
  work.

O`Toole`s Commentary on Murphy`s Laws:
  Murphy was an optimist.

Sevareid`s Law:
  The chief cause of problems is solutions.

Kitman`s Law:
  Pure drivel tends to drive away ordinary drivel.

Sattinger`s Law:
  It works better if you plug it in.

Osborn`s Law:
  Variables won`t; constants aren`t.

The Law of Selective Gravity 
(The Buttered Side Down Law):
An object will fall so as to do the most damage.

Zymurgy`s First Law of Evolving System Dynamics:  
Once you open a can of worms, the only way to 
recan them is to use a larger can.

Anthony`s Law of Force:
Don`t force it, get a larger hammer.

Westheimer`s Time Estimation Rule:
Estimate the time you think it should take, 
multiply by 2, add 3, and change the unit of
measure to the next higher unit.

Bye`s First Law of Model Railroading:
Anytime you wish to demonstrate something, the 
number of faults encountered is proportional to
the number of viewers.

Wolfgang`s Third Law:
  It can`t work.

Don`s Axiom:
  When all else fails, read the instructions.

First Law of Advice:
  The correct advice is to give the advice 
  that is desired.

Third Law of Advice:
  Simple advice is the best advice.

The Fourth Law of Computing:
  On a slow day, you can wait forever.

Sweer`s Impossibility Theorem:
  Nothing can be both completely general
  and internally consistent at the same time.

Murphy`s First Law:
  Nothing is as easy as it looks.

Murphy`s Second Law:
  Everything takes longer than you think.

Murphy`s Third Law:
  Anything that can go wrong will go wrong,
  and at the worst possible time.

Murphy`s Fourth Law:
  If there is a possibility of several things
  going wrong, the one that will cause the most
  damage will be the one to go wrong.

Murphy`s Fifth Law:
  If anything just cannot go wrong, 
  it will anyway.

Murphy`s Seventh Law:
  Left to themselves, 
  things tend to go from bad to worse.

Murphy`s Eighth Law:
  If everything seems to be going well,
  you have obviously overlooked something.

Chisolm`s Third Law, Corollary 1:
  If you explain so clearly that
  no one can misunderstand,
  somebody will.

Chisolm`s Third Law, Corollary 2:
  If you do something which you are sure will
  meet with everyone`s approval, somebody
  won`t like it.

Crane`s Law:
  There ain`t no such thing as a free lunch.

Law of Communications:
  The result of improved and enlarged 
  communications is a vastly increased
  area of misunderstanding.

Lord Falkland`s Rule:
  When it is not necessary to make a decision,
  it is necessary not to make a decision.

Jones` Motto:
  Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

Gumperson`s Law:
  The probability of anything happening is 
  inversely proportional to its desirability.

The Peter Principle:
  In every hierarchy, each employee tends 
  to rise to his level of incompetence;
  every post tends to be filled by an
  employee incompetent to execute its duties.

Parkinson`s First Law:
  Work expands to fill the time available
  for its completion.

Parkinson`s Second Law:
  Expenditures rise to meet income.

Shanahan`s Law:
  The length of a meeting rises with the square
  of the number of people present.

Zymurgy,s Seventh Exception to Murphy`s Laws:
  When it rains it pours.

Jenkinson`s Law:
  It won`t work.

The DREA Law:
  Under the most rigorously controlled
  conditions,the experimental apparatus
  will do exactly as it pleases.

Skip`s Lament:
  Given any problem containing N equations,
  There will be n+1 unknowns.

Finagle`s First Law:
  If an experiment works, 
  something has gone wrong.

Finagle`s Fourth Law:
  Once a job is messed up,
  anything done to improve it makes it worse.

Cheops` Law:
  Nothing ever gets built on schedule 
  or within budget.

Wynne`s Law:
  Negative slack tends to increase.

Boren`s Law:
  When in doubt, mumble.

Q`s Law:
  No matter what stage of completion one reaches 
  in a project, the cost of the remainder of the
  project remains constant.