A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.,You can lead a horse to water. Get him to float on his back and you`ve got something.,When all else fails read the documentation!,Shareware will remain a viable marketing method as long as the users who can't live without a Shareware product realize that the Authors can't LIVE without their registration.,Quien mucho abarca poco aprieta (Grab much; gain little).,There's little worse than being peerless in a peer-review system.,If little else the brain is an educational toy.,When in darkness or in doubt: run in circles scream and shout.,Internal consistency is more highly valued than efficiency.,It won`t work.,Always draw your curves then plot the readings.,It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.,Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.,Never try to outstubborn a cat.,Anything free is worth what you pay for it.,I ain`t broke but I`m badly bent.,Jargon is used as a means of succeeding by not simplifying.,A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn.,An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.,Bedfellows make strange politicians.,Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.,If you wish to succeed consult three old people.,Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.,An honest politician is one who when bought stays bought.,You can tune a piano but you can`t tuna fish.,A closed mouth gathers no foot.,A rolling stone gathers momentum.,Gravity doesn`t exist: the earth sucks.,Ahhhhhhhh...  I forget what I was going to say.,Organization is the enemy of improvisation.,On a clear disk you can seek forever.,Sometimes I sits and thinks and sometimes I just sits.,Let him who takes the plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.,It works better if you plug it in.,Misery loves company but company does not reciprocate.,No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.,Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.,Some men are discovered others are found out.,That must be wonderful!  I don't understand it at all.,Monday is a hard way to spend one-seventh of your life.,Pros are those who do their jobs well even when they don`t feel like it.,Running a business is about 95% people and 5% economics.,When your work speaks for itself don`t interrupt.,Variables won`t; constants aren`t.,Interchangable devices won`t.,Don`t force it; get a larger hammer.,People always remember the last mistake you made.,He who hesitates is probably smart.,The one who does the least work always gets the most credit.,The less a computer peripheral costs the more it costs to fix.,Whatever happens behave like you meant it to happen.,Experience is something you don't get until just after you needed it most.,Confidence is the feeling you get just before you fully understand the problem.,When you get to the point where you really understand your computer system it's probably obsolete.,As soon as you find that your microcomputer is easy to use add some peripherals you don't understand how to operate.,No matter what goes wrong with your carefully planned database system there's always someone who says they knew it would.,It's only when you need to knock on wood that you realize that the world is entirely made up of aluminum and plastic.,You always find the information you need on the page of the manual you look at last.,The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual you least expect to find it.,You know you have a real crisis on your hands when you can't say "let's forget the whole thing".,The time it takes to fix the error in your spreadsheet is inversely proportional to the time it took to do the damage in the first place.,When the going gets tough; upgrade.,For every action there is an equal and opposite malfunction.,In technology anything is possible if you don't know it isn't available yet.,To err is human... to blame  your computer for your mistakes is even more human.,He who laughs last probably made a back-up.,If at first you don't succeed blame your computer.,That which cannot be serviced will require the most service.,If you take a computer apart and put it back together enough times you will end up with two computers... neither of which work.,The easiest computers to use are those you don't have to.,If you consult enough computer experts it is possible to confirm any opinion.,If you can distinguish between good advice and bad advice you probably don't need any advice at all.,A complex system that doesn't work is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked well.,No job is so simple that it can't get screwed up.,The person who says that something can't be done should never interrupt the person who is doing it.,The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.,If an hour has been spent perfecting a sentence a committee will decide to delete the paragraph.,A committee is a group of people doing the work of one person.,When you're asked if you need help to understand a computer program say "no" then negotiate.,The further off new technological developments are the better they look.,A specialist is someone who knows more and more about less and less until he gets to the point where he knows absolutely everything about nothing.,A conclusion is what you've come to when you reach the point where you can't think anymore.,You can always spot an expert in the crowd. It's the person who says that the project will take the longest to complete and will cost the most.,The component which has the shortest lifespan will always be located in the least serviceable location.,Any circuit design will always contain at least one part which is obsolete two parts which are no longer obtainable and three parts which are still under development.,Whenever you don't understand what you're doing remember to always do it neatly.,Any technical problem can be solved given enough time and money; but you will never be given enough time and money.,A computer program will always do what you tell it to do but never what you want it to do.,The secret to successful presentation is sincerity. Once you can fake sincerity you've got it made.,In any department there will always be one person who understands computers. This person usually gets transferred to another department.,A project always expands to fill your system's available memory.,If it would be cheaper to buy a new unit management always insists on repairing the old one. If it's cheaper to repair the old one management will insist on replacing it with the latest model.,If it weren't for the last minute nothing would ever get done.,The developers of Lanacane started from scratch.,I think therefore I am ... I think.,I stink therefore I am.,To err is human to blame it on someone else is even more human.,A bird in the hand is a small meal for one.,A rolling stone plays loud rock music.,If it isn't broken don't fix it.,Force it - if it breaks it needed replacing anyway.,