Copyright (c) 1996

                              HEH, HEH, HEH

     No one would mistake me for Santa Claus.  I'm not fat enough, I
don't have white hair, and I'm much too grumpy.
     The holiday season usually makes me grumpy.  It seems like this
time of year tends to bring out the worst in drivers and shoppers well
before it purportedly brings out the best in people.  The weather's
usually lousy, which only compounds the matter.
     This year I'm going to be grumpier than usual because my wife and
I are braving airports and car rental counters for a visit with our
respective families in Illinois.  Travelling at Christmas-time is one
of the crazier things a human can do, and, humans being humans, way too
many of us do it.
     Grumpiness aside, though, I'm here to talk about Ruby's Pearls. 
It has a holiday flavor, but it also has a healthy dollop of darkness.
Fitting for one of the darkest times of the year, I suppose.
     Ruby's here, and the Juice yet again, and we get a blast from the
past courtesy of Franchot Lewis.  Grab those roasted chestnuts, settle
down in front of a roaring fire, and enjoy the first present of the
season.
     Happy holidays, folks.
                                        --Michael Hahn
                                          Assistant Editor