Three women were dressing after an aerobics workout and talking about 
their spouses. "My husband," said the first, "is a marriage counselor. 
He always buys me candy or flowers before we make love."
"Mine is a jeweler," the second said. "He always brings me a pearl or 
two before we make love."
The third woman paused. "Well," she finally said, "my husband works for 
Microsoft. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great 
it's going to be when I get it."

A man phoned his doctor saying his wife appeared to have appendicitis.
"That's impossible," the physician replied. "She had an appendectomy 
last year. Have you ever seen anybody with a second appendix?"
"No, asshole," the husband replied. "Have you ever seen anybody with a 
second wife?"

Reprinted from Playboy, February 1996