> Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up > Yo momma so fat her nickname is "DAMN" Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. > Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise > Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone > Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors > Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her... > Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then > new world > Yo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy > Yo momma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop! > Yo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions! > Yo momma so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!" > Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!" > Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized > Yo momma so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway > Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller > Yo momma so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets > Yo momma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th > Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too > Yo momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn" > Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE! > Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please" > Yo momma so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo. > Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it. > Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued. > Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock. > Yo momma so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs! > Yo momma so fat she's got her own area code! > Yo momma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon! > Yo momma so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved! > Yo momma so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her! > Yo momma so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in! > Yo momma so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago... > Yo momma so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg. > Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction! > Yo momma so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky! > Yo momma so fat you have to roll her ass in flour and look for the wet spot > to fuck her! > Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the > bitches good side! > Yo momma so fat she wakes up in sections! > Yo momma so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER! > Yo momma so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george > washington's nose. > Yo momma so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball! > Yo momma so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar! > Yo momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun! > Yo momma so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell! > Yo momma so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!! > Yo momma so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book! > Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views! > Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family! > Yo momma so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil! > Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon! > Yo momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in! > Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips! > Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks! > Yo momma so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand! > Yo momma so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper! > Yo momma so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out! > Yo momma so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's > wearin tights! > Yo momma so fat she got hit by a parked car! > Yo momma so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out! > Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans! > Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued. > Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!" > Yo momma so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway! > Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller! > Yo momma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th > Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too > Yo momma so fat she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please > Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it! > Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck! > Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it. > Yo momma so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo. > Yo momma so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping > Yo momma so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, > they hit the ground. > Yo momma so fat when she back up she beep. > Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck. > Yo momma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets. > Yo momma so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get > up again. > Yo momma so fat she influences the tides. > Yo momma so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas. > Yo momma so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out. > Yo momma so fat the animals at the zoo feed her. > Yo momma so fat she was baptized at Marine World. > Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family! > Yo momma so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips. > Yo momma so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her > Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones. > Yo momma so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas. > Yo momma so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she > had on flip flops. > Yo momma so fat shes on both sides of the family > Yo momma so fat it takes her two trips to haul ass > Yo momma so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the > other side just to get > her through > Yo momma so fat when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have > to install speed bumps. > Yo momma so fat that she cant tie her own shoes. > Yo momma so fat sets off car alarms when she runs. > Yo momma so fat she cant reach her back pocket. > Yo momma so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to > land on her back! > Yo momma so fat her college graduation picture was an airial. > Yo momma so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back > in the water > Yo momma so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out > Yo momma so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth > Yo momma so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures > Yo momma so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck. > Yo momma so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist > they spelled out > boulevard. > Yo momma so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George > Washington's nose. > Yo momma so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles. > Yo momma so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon. > Yo momma so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and > tries to tow her back > into the ocean..... > Yo momma so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the > bike across the moon, > the bitch caused an eclipse. > Yo momma so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl. > Yo momma so fat she was baptised in the ocean. > Yo momma so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway. > Yo momma so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a > tunnel when they want > to clean it. > Yo momma so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?" > Yo momma so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green > arrow! > Yo momma so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks. > Yo momma so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!!! > Yo momma so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we > dressed her as a > Chevrolet. > > =-> SO STUPID, > Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes > Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she > went home and got > 16 friends > Yo momma so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside > with a spoon > Yo momma so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she > couldn't read > Yo momma so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind > Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl > Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ! > Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved! > Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order! > Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone! > > Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight! > Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund! > Yo momma so stupid she took a cup to see Juice. > Yo momma so stupid that she sold the car for gas money. > Yo momma so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911" > Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. > Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below > the dotted line she put > "O.K." > Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out. > Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread. > Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl. > Yo momma so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check. > Yo momma so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back. > Yo momma so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners. > Yo momma so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train. > Yo momma so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F > and sometimes > Wednesday too." > Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif. > Yo momma so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean! > Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl > Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved! > Yo momma so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds! > Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch! > Yo momma so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. > Yo momma so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home. > Yo momma so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice > instead. > Yo momma so stupid she jumped out the window and went up. > Yo momma so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund. > Yo momma so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain. > Yo momma so stupid that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put > "Hooked on Phonics." > Yo momma so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house. > Yo momma so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was > trying to makeup her > mind. > Yo momma so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes. > > =-> SO UGLY, > Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no > professionals." > Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning. > Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" > and her father said > "Yes, let's go bury it." > Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies. > Yo momma so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower > Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star > Wars. > Yo momma so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they > put it around her neck > Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween. > Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence > cameras > Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her > Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs > to play with her. > Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say > "Damn, is it Halloween > already?" > Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday. > Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects. > Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints. > Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry. > > Yo momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . > .for a quote! > Yo momma so ugly they put her in dough and made monster cookies! > Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out! > Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested! > Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her! > Yo momma so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her! > Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone! > Yo momma so ugly she had to get her baby drunk to breastfeed it! > Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone! > Yo momma so ugly The NHL banned her for life > Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween! > Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday! > Yo momma so ugly if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects! > Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints > Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry! > Yo momma so ugly people go as her for Halloween. > Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to > bury her. > Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away. > Yo momma so ugly we have to tie a steak around your neck so the dog will > play with her! > Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound. > Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects. > Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he > doesn't have to kiss her > goodbye. > > =-> SO OLD, > Yo momma so old I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died. > Yo momma so old she has Jesus' beeper number! > Yo momma so old her social security number is 1! > Yo momma so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch' > Yo momma so old that when she was in school there was no history class. > Yo momma so old she owes Jesus 3 bucks! > Yo momma so old she's in Jesus's yearbook! > Yo momma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook. > Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it. > Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince. > Yo momma so old she owes Jesus a nickel. > Yo momma so old when God said "Let their be light", she flipped the switch. > Yo momma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper. > Yo momma so old she ran track with dinosaurs. > Yo momma so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals. > Yo momma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook. > Yo momma so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade. > Yo momma so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and > said, "Li'l Mary will > never amount to anything". > > =-> SO POOR, > Yo momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her > what she was doing, > she said "Moving." > Yo momma so poor she can't afford to pay attention! > Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush! > Yo momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!! > Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!" > Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway. > Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway. > Yo momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk. > Yo momma so poor she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's > fingers. > Yo momma so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp. > Yo momma so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What > ya doin'?" She said, > "Buying luggage." > Yo momma so poor she drives a peanut. > Yo momma so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air > conditioning. > > =-> SO DARK, > Yo momma so dark she went to night school and was marked absent! > Yo momma so dark she spits chocolate milk! > Yo momma so dark she went to night school and was marked absent. > Yo momma so dark that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal. > Yo momma so dark she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to > keep from eating her > fingers. > > =-> SO DIRTY, > Yo momma so dirty she has to creep up on bathwater. > > =-> SO SHORT, > Yo momma so short she poses for trophies! > Yo momma so short you can see her feet on her drivers lisence! > Yo momma so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime. > Yo momma so short she can play handball on the curb. > Yo momma so short she does backflips under the bed. > Yo momma so short she models for trophys. > > =-> SO NASTY, > Yo momma so nasty when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut > her hair and she opened > up her shirt > Yo momma so nasty She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh! > Yo momma so nasty she made speed stick slow down. > Yo momma so nasty she brings crabs to the beach > Yo momma so nasty she made right guard turn left. > Yo momma so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave > Yo momma so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater. > Yo momma so nasty that her sh*t is glad to escape. > Yo momma so nasty Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off > Yo momma so nasty that pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh. > Yo momma so nasty I called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection. > > =-> IS LIKE, > Yo momma like potato chips-- Fri-to Lay > Yo momma like a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up! > Yo momma like the pillbury doughboy - everyone gets a poke! > Yo momma like a doorknob - everyone gets a turn! > Yo momma like a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on! > Yo momma like a doorknob, everyone gets a turn! > Yo momma like a bus, fifty cents and she's ready to ride! > Yo momma like a golf course, everyone GETS a hole in one! > Yo momma like the railway system, she gets laid all over the country! > Yo momma like a tomato source bottle, everyone gets a squeeze out of her! > Yo momma like a shotgun: one cock and she blows! > Yo momma like a hardware store: 4 cents a screw! > Yo momma like Domino's pizza-- Something for nothing > Yo momma like a refridgerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her! > Yo momma like cake mix, 15 servings per package! > Yo momma like a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded. > Yo momma like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, and then thrown in > the gutter. > Yo momma like a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long. > Yo momma like a Toyota: "Oh what a feelin'!" > Yo momma like Orange Crush: "Good Vibrations!" > Yo momma like a bubble-gum machine... five cents a blow. > Yo momma like chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap! > Yo momma like a vaccuum cleaner.....a real good suck. > Yo momma like a Hefty Bag, tough enough to overstuff >=-> SO HAIRY, > Yo momma so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth! > Yo momma so hairy she's got afros on her nipples! > Yo momma so hairy she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock. > Yo momma so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture! > Yo momma so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls > her Hair Jordan. > > =-> SO SLUTTY, > Yo momma so slutty she could suck-start a Harley! > Yo momma so slutty she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball! > Yo momma so slutty when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her > nice belt! > Yo momma so slutty she was on the cover of wheaties, with her legs open, and > it said "breakfast of > the champs" > Yo momma so slutty that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line > behind me had the correct > change. > Yo momma so slutty she had her own "Hands across her ass" charity drive > Yo momma so slutty that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought > she was getting it > three times. > Yo momma so slutty I fucked her and I's a chick! > Yo momma so slutty she blind and seeing another man. > > =-> NOSE SO BIG, > Yo momma nose so big you can go bowling with her boogers! > Yo momma nose so big she makes Pinochio look like a cat! > > =-> SO GREASY, > Yo momma so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid! > Yo momma so greasy she sweats Crisco! > Yo momma so greasy Texaco buys Oil from her > > =-> TEETH SO YELLOW, > Yo momma teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles! > Yo momma teeth are so yellow she spits butter! > > =-> SO LAZY, > Yo momma so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs. > > =-> SO SKINNY, > Yo momma so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio > Yo momma so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex. > Yo momma so skinny she turned sideways and dissapeared. > > =-> SO BALD, > Yo momma so bald even a wig wouldn't help! > Yo momma so bald you can see whats on her mind > Yo momma so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed. > > =-> SO TALL, > Yo momma so tall she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon. > Yo momma so tall she did a back-flip and kicked Jesus in the mouth. > Yo momma so tall she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida. > > =-> SO FLAT, > Yo momma so flat she's jealous of the wall! > > =-> GLASSES SO THICK, > Yo momma's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see > people waving. > Yo momma's glasses are so thick she can see into the future. > > =-> HAS, > Yo momma has an afro with a chin strap. > Yo momma has one leg and a bicycle. > Yo momma has 4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses. > Yo momma has so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it. > Yo momma has one hand and a Clapper. > Yo momma has a wooden afro with an "X" carved in the back. > Yo momma has green hair and thinks she's a tree. > Yo momma has one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying. > Yo momma has a 'fro with warning lights. > Yo momma has 10 fingers--all on the same hand. > Yo momma has a glass eye with a fish in it. > Yo momma has a short leg and walks in circles. > Yo momma has a short arm and can't applaude. > > =-> GOT, > Yo momma got so many freckles she looks like a hamburger! > Yo momma got two wooden legs and one is one backward. > Yo momma got three fingers and a banjo. > Yo momma got a wooden leg with a kickstand on it. > Yo momma got a bald head with a part and sideburns. > Yo momma got a' afro, wit' a chin strap!!!! > Yo momma got a wooden leg with branches. > Yo momma got so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail. > Yo momma got a metal afro with rusty sideburns. > Yo momma got a glass eye with a fish in it! > =-> HOUSE SO SMALL, > Yo momma house so small that when she orders a large pizza she had to go > outside to eat it. > Yo momma house so small she has to go outside to eat a large pizza. > Yo momma house so small you have to go outside to change your mind. > > =-> HOUSE SO DIRTY, > Yo momma house so dirty roaches ride around on dune buggies! > Yo momma house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside. > > =-> HAIR SO SHORT, > Yo momma hair so short when she braided it they looked like stiches. > Yo momma hair so short she curls it with rice. > > =-> HEAD SO BIG, > Yo momma head so big she has to step into her shirts. > Yo momma head so big it shows up on radar. > > =-> HEAD SO SMALL, > Yo momma head so small she use a tea-bag as a pillow. > Yo momma head so small that she got her ear pierced and died. > > =-> MISC, > Yo momma wears knee-pads and yells "Curb Service!" > Yo momma feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates! > Yo momma aint so bad...she would give you the hair off of her back! > Yo momma lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray. > It took yo momma 10 tries to get her drivers license, she couldnt get used > to the front seat! > You were born out of your mother's arse 'cos her cunt was too busy. > Yo momma hips are so big, people set their drinks on them. > Yo momma hair so nappy she has to take Tylenol just to comb it. > Yo momma so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone. > Yo momma so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on. > Yo momma twice the man you are. > Yo momma cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo. > Yo momma is missing a finger and can't count past 9. > Yo momma arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear. > Yo momma middle name is Rambo. > Yo momma in a wheelchair and says, "You ain't gonna puch me 'round no more." > Yo momma rouchy, the McDonalds she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals. > Yo momma so stupid was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday. > If my dog had a face as ugly as your momma's, I'd shave his ass and make him > walk backwards. > Yo momma mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound. > Yo momma gums are so black she spits Yoo-hoo. > Yo momma breath smell so bad when she yawns her teeth duck. > I saw your momma at the freak show petting the world's largest turtle. > I saw your momma kicking a can down the street. I asked her what she was > doing, and she said > "Moving." > Yo momma teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice. >