I AM
by John Shell

I am not a poet or a writer.
I wonder if Leather face is real.
I hear the theme from Psycho in my head.
I want out of this class.
I am not a poet or a writer.

I pretend I can write poems.
I feel warm and fuzzy all over.
I touch Jaw's teeth with my ankles.
I worry about passing this class.
I cry when I cut onions.
I am not a poet or a writer.

I understand the theory of Platetechtonics.
I say weedeaters are the best lawn utensils.
I dream about Freddy Kruger.
I try to tie my shoes in the morning.
I hope you don't kill yourself after reading this terrible poem.
I am not a poet or a writer.