1. .df hd Ver. 03/01/85 USING SCREENWRIGHT by Paul D. Nadler FADE IN TO: 1 INT. LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT. SAM and HILDA seated in front of their computer. SAM holds the ScreenWright diskette in one hand and a peanut butter sandwich in the other. In the green glow of the CRT monitor, their faces look distinctly confused, even nauseated. MEDIUM-LONG SHOT HILDA Okay, we got the thing set up and turned on. What do we do now? SAM (Shrugging) I dunno. Have dinner? HILDA Big help you are. SAM Aren't there any instructions? HILDA There was one thing ... 2 MEDIUM SHOT HILDA rummages through the papers on the desk, and finally extracts the "Welcome to ScreenWright" letter from the pile. HILDA Here we are. It says "Dear Hilda and Sam" -- that's us -- SAM rolls his eyes. CLOSE UP HILDA It goes on: "Thank you for choosing ScreenWright," et cetera, et cetera. Oh, here: "Once you have your computer turned on and running, immediately make a backup copy of your ScreenWright diskette and store the original in a safe place." 3 MEDIUM-LONG SHOT (CONTINUED) (c) 1984, 1985 Paul D. Nadler 2. 3 CONTINUED: SAM (Taking a bite of his sandwich) How come? HILDA That way, if you mess something up you'll still have the original, and you won't have lost anything. So let's make a backup copy. MEDIUM-CLOSE SHOT SAM (Pulling the diskette from its protective sleeve) That's easy enough. MEDIUM SHOT HILDA (Grabbing the diskette away from him) Hey, you want to get P.B.J. all over it? Let me make the backup now; then you can drool on it all you like. MEDIUM SHOT SAM Oh, yeah? And what "safe place" are you going to put it in? MEDIUM SHOT HILDA (Inserting the diskette in the computer) Someplace where you'll never touch it -- the laundry room. MEDIUM-LONG SHOT SAM Whoa now. That was a low blow, Ms. H. HILDA (Opening the computer manual) Quiet -- I'm looking up how to make a disk backup ... DISSOLVE TO: (c) 1984, 1985 Paul D. Nadler 3. 4 THE SAME SCENE -- A FEW MINUTES LATER. HILDA (Reading) "After you have made the backup of your original ScreenWright diskette, put the new diskette in your computer's main disk drive." SAM puts the new diskette in the appropriate disk drive. SAM Done. HILDA (Still reading) "Now type SW" -- that must stand for ScreenWright -- "and press the Return button." SAM types SW and presses the return button. SAM Listen -- the disk drive is whirring! HILDA "The ScreenWright sign-on message now appears, followed by a request for the name of the file to be formatted." SAM But what do we type? HILDA "A sample file called try.me is included on your ScreenWright diskette." SAM (Typing try.me) Ask a silly question ... HILDA "Then you will be asked where the formatted screenplay is to be sent. The choices are C for console, P for printer, or F for file. If your printer is connected, type P; otherwise type C for console." SAM (Typing) So I'll type P. (Pause) Ooh -- it's whirring again! (CONTINUED) (c) 1984, 1985 Paul D. Nadler 4. 4 CONTINUED: The printer begins to type. HILDA It's printing, Sam! It's printing! CLOSE-UP SAM (Taking another bite of sandwich) Me, I'm just mentally composing my acceptance speech for "Best Screenplay." DISSOLVE TO: 5 DREAM SEQUENCE -- THE ACADEMY AWARD CEREMONY. The applause is deafening. SAM, dapper in a purple tuxedo, stands grinning behind the microphone. He holds an Oscar, with which he waves at the audience. SAM (Reading from a notecard) I'm speechless, folks. How can I hope to thank the millions of people who helped make this award possible? My mother, who learned me to talk right; my agent, who pressured me to express myself; my analyst, who taught me the value of remaining silent -- all of you deserve thanks beyond the power of my poor words to express. And lastly, my dear Hilda, who taught me to use ScreenWright -- to you I can only give my heartfelt gratitude and undying love. The cheers of the audience burst forth again. SAM begins to sob with joy. The shot grows hazier and hazier, and eventually SAM's sobs turn into snores as we DISSOLVE TO: 6 INT. LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT. SAM is now asleep in his chair, snoring. His peanut butter sandwich lies on his chest. HILDA is hunched over the computer, typing furiously. SAM (Awakening with a start) Huh? Wha -- what happened? (CONTINUED) (c) 1984, 1985 Paul D. Nadler 5. 6 CONTINUED: HILDA (Still typing) Have a nice snooze? SAM (Confused) I dreamt -- I thought -- HILDA (Still typing) The same old dream again? SAM Yeah. What have you been doing? HILDA (Still typing) Oh, just typing in my screenplay. There -- all done! SAM Say what? HILDA My screenplay, silly. SAM Your screenplay! HILDA It's brilliant. And I'll never have to retype a draft again. Now all I have to do is send the Author ten bucks for using ScreenWright on my screenplay. SAM Shattered -- and it's all ScreenWright's fault! HILDA No, don't worry -- I'll thank you when they give me the Oscar. SAM But I ... but you ... but I ... HILDA Oh, baby, come here. There's plenty of room for both of us at this keyboard! (CONTINUED) (c) 1984, 1985 Paul D. Nadler 6. 6 CONTINUED (2): SAM cuddles up to HILDA before the gaily glowing CRT as we FADE OUT THE END (c) 1984, 1985 Paul D. Nadler