226 Ditt el„nde... Om du tror att du „r vrickad kan du inte vara riktigt klok. Det finns tv† slags egoister: de som erk„nner det och s† alla vi andra. Min smak „r enkel: det b„sta duger. Jump in the river and learn to swim. Uppenbarligen „r det n†got fel som „r trasigt. Youbetterputabetterbitofbutteronyourknife! Total number of interactive users = 3460 VAX : 1. En dator. 2. F”rekommer ofta i ”ronen. 3. Annat namn p† skiva. Ingen beh”ver aldrig spara! To err is human. <100>To really foul things up requires a computer... Make my day. Make my lunch. There is no cure for birth or death so you might as well enjoy the time in between the two. Give me a bucket. <100>I'm gonna throw up... The more i see of men, the more i love my cat. A tiger??? <100>In Africa???. By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail. He who spends a storm beneath a tree, takes life with a grain of TNT. You attempt things that you do not even plan because of your extreme stupidity. Hamburgare „r s† gott som mat... Words are the voice of the heart. Your mind understands what you have been taught; your heart, what is true. Those who can stimulate. Those who can't simulate. LOGGA UR !!! He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last. Jag m†r illa. The best prophet of the future is the past. It is a poor judge who cannot award a prize. A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke. I know it all. I just can't remember it all at once. Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion. Always look at the bright side of life. Money may buy friendship but money can not buy love. Might as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a miracle to get you out of Casablanca. Creditors have much better memories than debtors. Many pages make a thick book. I can't decide whether to commit suicide or go bowling... We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm God. Every purchase has its price. Dain Bramaged. Folk som gillar sk„mt „r gamar. Is there life before coffee ? This is the earliest I've ever been late. Never underestimate the power of stupidity. Do not underestimate the power of the Force. Endast en kvinna av 14 kan vissla. Mind your own business, Spock. I'm sick of your halfbreed interference. Den l†ngsammaste snigeln r”r sig med en hastighet av 0.00002 km/h. M„ngden utvandrare i Vilhelm Mobergs "Utvandrarna" „r 16 st. If you suspect a man, don't employ him. It would be easy for me to make it hard for you. I'm easy to please as long as I get my way. If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk! We, the unwilling led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. Working... <500> Stop searching forever. Happiness is unattainable. Mama Mia, hundar b”rja tala mat! Mama Mia, svenskar b”rja tala italienska! Men Tony, svenskar inte tala italienska! Bravo! <30>Excellente! <30>Splendido! <30>Honom ska vi ha! You called me? It's later than you think. Mistakes are oft the stepping stones to failure. It's not reality that's important, but how you perceive things. Du best„mma. <30>Du vara boss. Like winter snow on summer lawn, time past is time gone. And now to something completely different... <100>A man with a tape-recorder in his nose! And now to something completely different... <100>A man with a tape-recorder in his brothers nose! En mus kan inte k„nna igen en m„nniska p† 2 meters avst†nd. St† p† dig - annars g”r n†gon annan det. S† snart en kvinna t„nker n†gorlunda snabbt kallas det intuition. To criticize the incompetent is easy; it is more difficult to criticize the competent. Bobby Kempf ifr†n Virginia, USA †t 3 hela citroner (med skal och k„rnor) p† 15.3 sekunder. Men seldom show dimples to girls who have pimples. En 3.35 meter l†ng bj”rk (12 cm i diameter) †ts upp av Jay Gwaltney p† 89 tim. You cannot kill time without injuring eternity. John Kenmuir †t i direkts„ndning i skotsk TV 14 h†rdkokta „gg p† 14.42 sek. One man tells a falsehood, a hundred repeat it as true. Ibland m†ste man vara expert f”r att inte f”rst† en sak. When the wind is great, bow before it; when the wind is heavy, yield to it. The wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf. It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree. A plucked goose doesn't lay golden eggs. Even a hawk is an eagle among crows. Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark. V„rldsrekordet i kast med br”dkavel 907 g (endast kvinnor f†r delta i m„sterskap) „r 53.46 m. Ett piano som v„gde 231 kg kastades av sex m„n 2.35 m p† Nya Torget i Norrk”ping 4 maj 1985. En seng†ngare tillbringar upp till 80% av sitt liv sovande eller slumrande. You have mail. His heart was yours from the first moment that you met. V„rldens st”rsta pizza m„tte 26,4 m i diameter. Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage. With clothes the new are best, with friends the old are best. Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie. Today is the last day of your life so far. Flee at once, all is discovered. Man who falls in vat of molten optical glass makes spectacle of self. Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. For a good time, call 90510. I'm the one your mother warned you about... Those who can, do; those who can't, simulate. Those who can, do; those who can't, write. Those who can't write work for the Bell Labs Record. God does not play dice. This fortune is inoperative. Please try another. Laugh, and the world ignores you. Crying doesn't help either. No amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation with detail. You will feel hungry again in another hour. You now have Asian Flu. God made the integers; all else is the work of Man. Disk crisis, please clean up! Many are called, few are chosen. Fewer still get to do the choosing. Try the Moo Shu Pork. It is especially good today. Many are cold, but few are frozen. The early worm gets the bird. He who hesitates is sometimes saved. Time is nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once. The future isn't what it used to be. (It never was.) If God had wanted you to go around nude, He would have given you bigger hands. It is better to have loved and lost than just to have lost. This is an ex-parrot. Disk crunch - please clean up. Center meeting at 4pm in 2C-543 I will never lie to you. Spock: We suffered 23 casualties in that attack, Captain. It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa. Waste not, get your budget cut next year. Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement. All that glitters has a high refractive index. When in doubt, lead trump. No directory. * UNIX is a Trademark of Bell Laboratories. External Security: Peters hungry, time to eat lunch. A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. Kvinnor vet vad p† Dolly P som „r „kta och vad som „r ditsatt. En kvinna vet vad en man vill ha - ocks† n„r hon inte har lust att ge honom det. Those who can do, those who can't, write. The more things change, the more they'll never be the same again. New crypt. See /usr/news/crypt. You might have mail. You can't go home again, unless you set $HOME You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike. There is yet another call for Bob Greenberg. The law of today : Murphys law. Svarta h†l „r m„rkliga f”reteelser: Mycket kommer in, men inte ens ljuset kommer ut. Bilar „r till f”r att f”rkorta avst†nd, som mellan denna v„rld och n„sta. Birdie birdie nam nam. Que? D„r g†r elefanterna med sina stora f”tter och betar. Svaret p† meningen med livet „r : 42 (Ur: Universum, livet och allt. av Douglas Adams.) GLIPP - Ett Monty & Kaj program. F”rr var det nu, fast j„vligare var det desto v„rre.<100> Men s† h„r j„vla s„mre, hardet ta mig fan aldrig varit d†ligt. G† sakta - kom tillbaka fort. 10110-111=1111 Ut och fiska! Kolla kaffet! Jag v„grar att acceptera m„nniskans underg†ng. Efter middagen besl”t bonden sig f”r att g† ut o s v. Redan de gamla grekerna trodde sig leva i nutiden. Det som fungerar „r f”r†ldrat. Om n†gon visslar efter en medel†lders kvinna s† k”r hon taxi. Hur kan du kalla det stor k„rlek n„r dina f”r„ldrar inte har n†got emot honom. Sen jag r†kade ut f”r personlighetsklyvning k„nner jag mej inte s† ensam l„ngre. Enda g†ngen han ”ppnar k„ften i riksdagen „r n„r han ska l„gga in snus. Man ska inte g”ra sig b„ttre „n man borde vara. En huslig flicka „r numera en som kan ”ppna konservburkar och v„rma inneh†llet. Ju mindre man har, p† desto kortare tid kan man f”rdubbla sin f”rm”genhet. Man ska inte g† ”ver †n efter vatten om det finns ”l i huset. Datav„rlden best†r av ettor och nollor, men IBM har samlat alla nollor... Lugnare h„st „n den h„r finns bara som hamburgerk”tt. Bakom varje framg†ngsrik man st†r en f”rv†nad kvinna. N„r en flicka frivilligt g†r i sin mors fotsp†r, leder de sannolikt fr†n k”ket. Kampen f”r tillvaron „r det s„kraste h†rborttagningsmedlet. Fransmannen Monsieur Mangetout †t en champagneflaska p† 3 timmar. G† till skrivarrummet. Det var uselt f d sa skidl”paren som †kte p† ett tr„sk som var sumpigt o d. Extra kafferast idag klockan 13:00. Du har gl”mt halvljuset p†. Du har gl”mt bromsljuset p†. Tyst, jag t„nker. Brrr, det „r kallt. H†rda bud, sa Moses n„r han tappade stentavlorna p† t†rna. S„j hej till fabriken! Vila f†r du g”ra i korvskinnet, sa gubben till h„sten. Den f”rsta lilla grisen gick till torget. Den andra grisen stannade d„r hemma. Den tredje lilla grisen mumsa rostbiff. Den fj„rde lilla grisen fick ingenting me'. Den femte lilla grisen ropa "ack och ve". Maximum number of users exceeded - try again later. F”rsvinn h„rifr†n s† jag slipper se dig s† lite som m”jligt! F”rsvinn h„rifr†n s† jag inte slipper se dig s† mycket! Dum...<80>det „r jag, <120>men pengar <80>det har jag inte! Press a button hair ball! S„g hej till publiken! G†tan: Vet ni vad som v„ger 90 gram och sl„par i marken?<100> Fr†ga Roffe. Vet ni vad som skiljer en klocka f”r dykare ifr†n en dykarklocka?<100> Fr†ga Roffe. Vad „r klockan n„r den stora visaren pekar p† Moskva och den lilla p† K”penhamn?Fr†ga Roffe. Vet ni vad som skiljer Big Ben ifr†n Roffe's klocka?<100> Armbandet. Var n†gonstans s„ljs moraklockor med armband?<100> Kanarie”arna. N„sta stors„ljare efter Survival-Knife...<100> Survival-Watch! Vad beror det p† att Roffe aldrig lyckas komma ur rondellerna? Vet ni vad som skiljer Roffe's klocka ifr†n Big Ben?<100> 100 †r eller 90 gram. F”rr hade dykare vattent„ta klockor och blyvikter.<100> Nu har de bara klockor. MacDonald's har 90-grammare med br”d.<100> Clock har 90-grammare med armband. I Rum„nien dog 10 personer i en jordb„vning.<100> I Boge d”r 10 personer varje heltimme... Seiko har tagit fram en b„rbar parabolantenn.<100> Kontakta Roffe f”r mer information. Varf”r dansar Roffe motsols p† Sn„ck.<100> Rock Around The Clock. G†r det d†ligt p† flexen?<100> G”r som Roffe, k”p ett eget st„mpelur. Tennisspelare har kraftig h”gerarm.<100> Roffe har kraftig v„nsterarm. F”rr beh”vde hemv„rnet bara spr„nga Visby flygplats. Nu m†ste de „ven spr„nga Roffe's klocka. V„rldens f”rsta klocka d„r h”rselk†por ing†r i priset. I vilken riktning simmar Roffe snabbast?<100> Ned†t. Vad „r det f”r likhet mellan Roffe's klocka och en Harley Davidsson?<100> Ljudet. Bojs„nken?<50> - Fr†ga Roffe! Det „r b„ttre att skratta †t ingenting, „n att inte skratta †t n†nting...