An IF by any other name by Markus Roberts Columbus discovered America in 1492, which led to its exploration by the British, Dutch, Portuguese, and Spanish. The fact that their lands had been discovered (and subsequently needed to be explored) came as quite a surprise to the Apache, Dakota, Hopi, Navaho, and Siouan.... --Stephen Fife We are becoming a community of dilettantes. Dabblers with more gee whiz then judgment, more concerned with trends in "paradigm-based methodologies" than with getting work done and using our increasingly uncommon sense. We're becoming so gullible we believe our own press releases (or plan to, by 3rd quarter '89). We'll believe anything. We'll buy anything. Understanding this fact is the key to understanding expert systems. Their genesis was well intentioned and conceptually sound. As a branch of artificial intelligence research and cognitive psychology the study of experts and how they reason makes a valuable contribution to science. But artificial intelligence research got simplified into AI and expert reasoning models got twisted into expert reasoning systems and these got reduced to expert systems and finally (ugh) ``ES.'' At each step, new unfamiliar, or difficult concepts were factored out and replaced with easier, more familiar concepts, until nothing of value was left. The proverbial pig in a poke sans poke, expert systems as we now find them are new only in the sense that a used car is new--it's the first time YOU'VE owned it. Expert systems are, insofar as they are anything, matted tangles of IF statements with no control structures. Instead they use "backtracking" and "forward chaining" and "sideways guessing" to try all of the code in something approaching random order. Forward chaining, by itself, is semantically equivalent to the normal order of code execution in a procedural program. The one new control structure, backtracking, isn't all that new and it isn't all that structured. In many cases it isn't efficient and in most it isn't clear. Most expert systems are astoundingly inefficient, and only run (or should I say meander?) satisfactorily on the fastest of hardware. So why are they such a Big Deal? Because, like Columbus, the DP dilettantes now known as knowledge engineers have rediscovered the lost continent of If and the archipelago of Recursion. And these "discoverers" are hell bent on exploring their new territory--never mind the fact that it is terra cognito, well explored and heavily traveled. All of that can be erased by renaming things: call assignment statements facts and IF statements rules, use recursion, backtracking, statistics, and tarot cards to make sure the right code gets executed eventually, and then junk the rest of computer science. Where systems analysts used to design programs based on interviews with users, now knowledge engineers construct knowledge systems based on what they learned during heuristic extraction from domain experts. Except for the number of users willing to submit to a process called "heuristic extraction" there is nothing new about this process. I have a simple test I use to tell if students have understood a topic, or simply memorized it: I present the same material with arbitrary substitutions for the nouns and verbs. If they understand they cry out "but this is exactly the same as what we covered last week"; if they don't understand they take notes. The computer industry has failed that test. We said "gee whiz" and cheered "neat-o" when we should have yelled "what a gyp" and cried "con job!" Imagine how much money you could make re-selling the publishing industry movable type, by calling it "modifiable letter forming technology." Imagine being able to take credit for inventing the telephone. Imagine claiming to have invented the internal combustion engine, just by renaming it the "liquid fuel heat engine" and getting away with it. You could, if the rest of the world was as gullible as the computer industry. Fortunately the rest of the world isn't that gullible; unfortunately we are. And we suffer for it. There would be less harm in the expert systems charade and the ilk if not for two insidious consequences. First is the decline in quality that invariably follows; second is the increased chance the same sort of thing happening again. Expert systems are harder to debug and much harder to maintain because they lack structure and the paradigm lacks the tools for imposing structure. This is an inevitable consequence of the steal-part-of-something-and-rename-it philosophy; you loose the infrastructure that held the old discipline together. Progress is retarded because ground that had once been gained is needlessly lost and must be painfully recaptured. Since ours is a rapidly growing community, many of the people exposed to a fad are novices who know no better. They are easy prey at the onset, and often become so enamored of the fad that they cling to it long after more experienced fools have rushed to embrace new folly. Whenever something is as popular as expert systems have recently been, vendors will flock to the field to make a buck. This is a fundamental feature of capitalism. But when the field is a bog as ill-founded as the expert systems paradigm, the vendors will be uncomfortable and very sensitive to criticism. And these vendors are the backbone of the industry. The are the source of R&D funds, they are the advertisers that keep magazines in print. When they're sensitive to criticism then the industry isn't receptive to critical thinking and another layer of gullibility settles over us all. This article should have been written and printed two years ago, but it wasn't. No one wanted to hear these things, few people wanted to say them. It spoils the fun of being a dabbler to have to think about things, make comparisons, make value judgments. It's easier (and more enjoyable) to believe what everyone else seems to believe. A few more years of this, and who knows what we'll fall for?