Random Access Humor Masthead:

Editor & Publisher: Dave Bealer

Contributing Editor: Greg Borek

Contact:  The Puffin's Nest BBS
          FidoNet: 1:261/1129
          BBS: (410) 437-3463  (1200-14400/V.32bis)
          Internet: dbealer@access.digex.net
                    greg.borek@f1129.n261.z1.fidonet.org
Regular Mail: (Only if you have no other way to reach us!)
               Random Access Humor
               c/o Dave Bealer
               P.O. Box 595
	       Pasadena, MD. 21122  USA

Random Access Humor (RAH) is published monthly by Dave Bealer as a
disservice to the online community.  Although the publisher's BBS may
be a part of one or more networks at any time, RAH is not affiliated
with any BBS network or online service.  RAH is a compilation of
individual articles contributed by their authors.  The contribution
of articles to this compilation does not diminish the rights of the
authors.  The opinions expressed in RAH are those of the authors and
are not necessarily those of the publisher.

Random Access Humor is Copyright 1993 Dave Bealer.  All Rights 
Reserved.  Duplication and/or distribution is permitted for non-
commercial purposes only.  RAH may not be distributed on diskette, 
CD-ROM or in hardcopy form for a fee without express written 
permission from the publisher.  For any other use, contact the 
publisher.

RAH may only be distributed in unaltered form.  Online systems whose
users cannot access the original binary archive file may offer it for 
viewing or download in text format, provided the original text is not
modified.  Readers may produce hard copies of RAH or backup copies on
diskette for their own personal use only.  RAH may not be distributed
in combination with any other publication or product.

Many of the brands and products mentioned in RAH are trademarks of
their respective owners.

Copies of the current issue of RAH may be obtained by manual download
or Wazoo/EMSI File Request from The Puffin's Nest BBS (FREQ: RAH), or
from various sites in several BBS networks.  Back issues of RAH may
be obtained by download or file request from The Puffin's Nest BBS.

Article contributions to RAH are always welcome.  All submissions
must be made electronically.  File attach your article to a netmail
message to Dave Bealer at 1:261/1129.  E-mail may also be sent via
Internet to: dbealer@access.digex.net

Tagline and filler submissions may be made via e-mail.  Article
submissions should be made via file.  Submitted files must be plain
ASCII text files in normal MS-DOS file format: artname.RAH; where
artname is a descriptive file name and RAH is the mandatory 
extension.  Your text should be less than 70 columns across for 
widest readability.  If your article does not conform to these simple
specs, it may get lost or trashed.  Also note that such imaginative
names as RAH.RAH might get overlaid by the blatherings of similarly 
minded contributors.  If your hardware is incapable of producing file
names in the proper format, you may send your article as one or more
e-mail messages.  It will not be possible to make private responses
to any submissions or correspondence received.

The editors reserve the right to publish or not to publish any
submission as/when they see fit.  The editors also reserve the right
to "edit", or modify any submission prior to publication.  This last
right will rarely be used, typically only to correct spelling or
grammar misteaks that are not funny.  RAH is a PG rated publication,
so keep it (mostly) clean.

RAH can accept only the following types of material for publication:
1) Any material in the public domain.
2) Material for which you own the copyright.  If you wrote it
    yourself, you are automatically the copyright holder.
3) Authorized agents for a copyright holder (typically an 
    organization) may submit material on behalf of that holder. 

In writing jargon, RAH is deemed to be given "One Time Rights" to
anything submitted for publication unless otherwise noted in the
message accompanying the contribution.  You still own the material,
and RAH will make no use of the material other than publishing it
electronically in the usual manner.  Your article may be selected for
publication in a planned "Best of RAH" electronic book.  If you want
your copyright notice to appear in your article, place it as desired
in the text you submit.  Previously published articles may be
submitted, but proper acknowledgement must be included: periodical
name, date of previous publication.