Archive-name: movies/quotes/part1 Posting-Frequency: once a month Last-modified: 06/03/94 Version: 1.05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- This is the QUOTES LIST (Memorable Quotes from Movies) Maintained by: Lars Joergen Aas (larsa@colargol.edb.tih.no) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- The long delay since last posting was mostly caused by exams and projects, but then again you probably didnt't care anyway. The long delay to the next posting is caused by a summer vacation. I might be on the net now and then, but nothing is certain. Anyway, keep the quotes coming in. FACTS & FIGURES: *) This list is supported by the Colin Needham's movie database v2.9 and upwards (current release: 3.0) and Cardiff's Movie Database Browser (WWW). The latter includes hypertext links which isn't easy to implement in ASCII- files ;) *) I actually ran ispell on it the other day (no guarantee anyway) :) *) This list has now quotes from 183 different titles. *) It contains 281 individual quotes from at least 253 different actors. New titles: 48 HRS. Adventures of Baron Munchausen, The Barbarian Queen Flatliners Gleaming the Cube Hitcher, The Kelly's Heroes Real Genius (1985) Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins... Splitting Heirs Top Secret! Wrong Trousers, The Modified entries: CONTRIBUTIONS and CORRECTIONS to this list is welcomed at movie@ibmpcug.co.uk with the subject "ADD" and the keyword "QUOTE" on a line above the quotes. To find out how to use the email-server use the subject "HELP" instead. * Include which movie the quotes are taken from. I would appreciate if the movie title is consistent with the movie database, including the optional year of release. Avoid AKA-titles. * Write in a script-like way (see the list below) and include both the actors' real names and the character names. * Keep narration brief, but do narrate if necessary. * Don't submit any quote. Please try to avoid spoilers, and only submit quotes which have a certain point to them. It doesn't need to be a funny quote (but they most often will be), but it should be memorable (like Roy's last words in `Blade Runner'). * Keep the QUALITY UP and the QUANTITY DOWN. * The quotes should be correct. Correct spelling and written _exactly_ as it's said in the movie. "...And may the force be with you!" ;) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The rec.arts.movies database consists of the following lists: List | Maintained by | Updated ---------------------|--------------------------------------------|---------- Actors | Col Needham | 05/13/94 Actresses | Col Needham | 05/13/94 Alternative Titles | Michel Hafner | 05/27/94 Biographies | Mark Harding | 04/28/94 Character Names | Steve Hammond | 01/24/94 Cinematographers | Michel Hafner | 05/27/94 Composers | Michel Hafner | 05/27/94 Costume Designers | Michel Hafner | 05/27/94 Crazy Credits | Mark Harding | 04/28/94 Directors | Col Needham | 05/27/94 Editors | Col Needham | 05/27/94 Goofs | Michael Gaines | 03/23/94 Movies | Michel Hafner | 05/27/94 Plot Summaries | Colin Tinto | 03/09/94 Producers | Andre Bernhardt | 03/23/94 Production Designers | Michel Hafner | 05/27/94 Quotes | Lars J Aas | 06/03/94 Ratings | Col Needham | 05/27/94 Soundtracks | Ron Higgins | 05/02/94 Trivia | Murray Chapman | 02/01/94 Writers | Jon Reeves | 03/23/94 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- The lists are available via anonymous FTP from: cathouse.org in pub/cathouse/movies/database ftp.funet.fi in pub/culture/tv+film/lists SEARCHING THE DATABASE ====================== The movie database frequently asked questions list contains more information on the whole movie database project. For a copy send an e-mail message with the subject "HELP FAQ" to . Here is a summary of the ways to access the database: (1) e-mail interface For details send a message with the subject HELP to (2) WWW interface The database is available via the World Wide Web. Access is via a "browser". The two main WWW browsers are Mosaic and Lynx... Mosaic (X windows, MS-Windows, Mac, Amiga) ftp.ncsa.uiuc.edu /Web lynx (vt100) ftp.wustl.edu /packages/www/lynx From your browser, OPEN or GO to the any of the following documents: http://www.cm.cf.ac.uk/Movies/ (European users prefered) http://www.msstate.edu/Movies/ (USA/rest of world prefered) http://ballet.cit.gu.edu.au/Movies/ (Australian users *only*) See the comp.infosystems.www FAQ for more information on the WWW. (3) local installation (Unix/Amiga) The movie database package enables you to install the data locally and provides a variety of search tools. It is available via anonymous FTP: cathouse.org in /pub/cathouse/movies/database/tools/moviedb-2.9.tar.Z ftp.funet.fi in /pub/culture/tv+film/lists/tools/moviedb-2.9.tar.gz see the README file in the same directories for more information. The Amiga version is in the file mdb_Amiga_2.8.lha. (4) local installation (MS-DOS) The CineBASE program provides an MS-DOS interface to the database and is also available via anonymous FTP: cathouse.org in /pub/cathouse/movies/database/tools/cb130a.zip ftp.funet.fi in /pub/culture/tv+film/lists/tools/cb130a.zip (5) telnet access via WWW There are several telnet'able WWW servers. Here are some examples; telnet info.cern.ch then type go http://www.cm.cf.ac.uk/Movies/ telnet www.njit.edu (login: www) then type g http://www.cm.cf.ac.uk/Movies/ telnet ukanaix.cc.ukans.edu (login: www) needs vt100 then look under "by Subject" then "Movies" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- QUOTES LIST =========== # 'burbs, The [Last Line] Ricky Butler: God I love this street. # 'Crocodile' Dundee Richard Mason: Take care now. Sue Charlton: Don't worry. I'm a New Yorker! Neville Bell: Oh no, you can't take my photograph. Sue Charlton: Oh, I'm sorry, you believe it will take your spirit away? Neville Bell: No, you got the lens-cap on. Michael J. (Crocodile Dundee): Me and God - we'd be mates! Michael J. (Crocodile Dundee): For a minute there, "room-service" took on a whole new meaning. # 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea Captain Nemo: I wonder if you are familiar with utensils, Mr. Land? Ned Land: I'm indifferent to 'em. # 2010 HAL-9000: Dr. Chandra, will I dream? # 39 Steps, The (1935) Richard Hannay: I know what it is to feel lonely and helpless and to have the whole world against me, and those are things that no men or women ought to feel. Richard Hannay: There are 20 million women in this island and I get to be chained to you. # 48 HRS. Reggie Hammond: Tell me a bedtime story. Jack Cates: Fuck you. Reggie Hammond: That's my favourite. # Adventures of Baron Munchausen, The Baron: Your reality, sir, is lies and balderdash and I'm delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever. # Adventures of Ford Fairlane, The Ford Fairlane: Hey, look. Write down my number: 555-6321 Got it? Twin Club Girl: Yeah. Wait a minute! 555 is not a real number! They only use that in the movies! Ford Fairlane: No shit, honey. What do you think this is? Real life? Ford Fairlane: You're 10 seconds away from the most embarrassing moment in your life! Ford Fairlane: So many assholes... So few bullets... Lt. Amos: You think you are so hot 'cos you get in all the clubs, heh? Just because you have sex with great looking women... Ford Fairlane: You got to admit those are pretty good reasons... Ford Fairlane: Johnny was the only guy who could out-disgust me. When we were kids we had gross-out contests. I'd cough a pile of phlegm on a table, he said "Nice try!" and pulled out a straw... Jazz: Well, that weekend was a mistake! Ford Fairlane: Hey, look. I'm sorry I made you clean the toilets and the bathtubs, I mean, who did all the work in bed? Lt. Amos: I can't believe anybody can have so much fucking fun in a funeral, Fairlane. Lt. Amos: See, that's the difference between a great investigator like me, and a piece of spam like you. Ford Fairlane: Spam? You're a piece of spam. That's what I think of you. Lt. Amos: No, I call you a piece of spam, 'cos that's what you are. Ford Fairlane: Spam! [At the "sisters'" house, surrounded by all the semi-nude women] Ford Fairlane: hibb.. hibbdy.. Maybe I did die in the explosion, you know. Don Cleveland: With friends like you, who needs enemies? # Adventures of Robin Hood, The [Robin Hood (Sir Robin of Loxley), addressed to Prince John] Robin Hood (Sir Robin of Loxley): I'll organize a revolt, exact a death for a death, and I'll never rest until every Saxon in this shire can stand up free men and strike a blow for Richard and England... From this night on I'll use every means in my power to fight you! Lady Marian Fitzswalter: Why, you speak treason! Robin Hood (Sir Robin of Loxley): Fluently. # Aladdin (1992) The Genii: Rug-man! It's been a few millennia. Slap me some tassel! # Alien (1979) [Kane starts choking in the scene where the Alien bursts from his chest] Parker: What's the matter man, the food ain't THAT bad?! Ash: You still don't know what you're dealing with do you? Perfect organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by its hostility... I admire its purity, a survivor; unclouded by conscience, remorse or delusions of morality. [Last line (also used in _Alien 3_ (qv))] Ellen Ripley: ..., Ash and captain Dallas are dead. Cargo and Ship destroyed. I should reach the frontier in about 6 weeks. With a little luck, the network will pick me up. This is Ripley - last survivor of The Nostromo - signing off. # Alien 3 [Ripley is looking for the Alien] Ripley: Don't be afraid, I'm part of the family. [Last line (like in _Alien (1979)_ (qv))] Ellen Ripley: ..., Ash and captain Dallas are dead. Cargo and Ship destroyed. I should reach the frontier in about 6 weeks. With a little luck, the network will pick me up. This is Ripley - last survivor of The Nostromo - signing off. # Aliens Private Hudson: Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man? Private Vasquez: No, have you? [When they are dropped over LV-426] Private Hudson: We're on the express elevator to hell - going down. Bishop: I may be synthetic, but I'm not stupid. [Lieutenant Gorman orders the troops to disarm all their weapons before the first alien encounter] Private Frost: What the hell are we supposed to use man, harsh language? Private Hudson: Let's just bug out and call it even, OK? Ripley: I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. That's the only way to be sure. Private Hudson: Fuckin' A... Burke: Ho-ho-hold on one second. This installation has a substantial dollar-value attached to it. Ripley: They can *bill* me. [The drop-ship crashes] Private Hudson: Well that's great, that's just fuckin' great man, now what the fuck are we supposed to do? We're in some real pretty shit now man... That's it man, game over man, game over! What the fuck are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do? Private Hudson: Dear Lord Jesus, this can't be happenin' man, this isn't happenin... Ripley: Hudson! This little girl survived longer than that with no weapons and no training. Right? Private Hudson: What? You put her in charge??? Bishop: I'm afraid I have some bad news. Private Hudson: Well that's a switch. # All of Me (1984) Roger Cobb: You bought me a grave-post for my 38th birthday? Edwina Cutwater: Guess what I'm going to do? Roger Cobb: What? Edwina Cutwater: I'm going to come back from the dead. Roger Cobb: Aaahhhh. And what makes you think you can do that? Edwina Cutwater: Because I'm rich... Burton Schyuler: Are you strong enough to continue? Edwina Cutwater: What? Oh, I'm fine. Really. I'm fine. Tell them! Dr. Betty Ahrens: She could drop dead any minute... Edwina Cutwater: Don't mind her. She is only trying to make me feel good. Edwina Cutwater: I can't believe this. I can't even die right! Peggy Schyuler: Roger, you go to court tomorrow, we're through! Roger Cobb: If I don't, your father will have my balls. Peggy Schyuler: Then it's either me or your balls. You can't have both! Roger Cobb: Women, eh? Can't live with them. Can't live without them. [Referring to Edwina Cutwater] Roger Cobb: You know, it's just like a dead person to say something like that! Tyrone Wattell: Roger, exactly how do you plan pulling this off? Roger Cobb: Beats the heck out of me. Tyrone Wattell: Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought. Edwina Cutwater as Terry Hoskins: I love it when you talk like a beer commercial. # Animal Crackers Captain Jeffrey Spaulding: One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know. Captain Jeffrey Spaulding: You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way. # Apartment, The Fran Kubelik: When you're in love with a married man you shouldn't wear mascara. # Apocalypse Now Lieutenant Colonel Kilgore: I love the smell of napalm in the morning... Smells like victory. # Armed and Dangerous [Frank Dooley is being driven at high speed to the scene of the crime by "The Cowboy", a truck driver with a load of rocket fuel] The Cowboy: Slim, I ain't never seen a handgun that big before. Frank Dooley: Yeah, it's a 50 callibur... They used to use it to hunt buffalo with... Up close! It's only legal in two states... This isn't one of them. Tanning salon woman: Gosh, I didn't realize it was going to be this formal, if I had known it was going to be this kind of party I would have worn underwear. Maggie Cavanaugh: Just remember, when you pull the trigger, the bullets come out going VERY VERY fast... So make sure to keep the weapon pointing away from you. Now that's about it. You are now armed [slight pause] guards. God help us all. # Army of Darkness [Upon getting the powered glove in place of his right hand] Ash: Groovy. [In a passionate moment of romance] Ash: Gimme some sugar, baby. Ash: Don't touch that please, you primitive intellect wouldn't understand things with alloys and compositions and things with ... molecular structures. Demon Lady: I'll swallow your soul! Ash: Come get some. Village Resident: Are all men from the future loud-mouthed braggarts? Ash: Nope. Just me baby... Just me. Ash: Klaatu Verata Nicto Wise man: Again Ash: Klaatu Verata Nicto Wise man: Again Ash: Look, I know your damn words! Ash: Klaatu Verata N... N... It's definitely an "N" word! [The girl wants to apologize to Ash] Ash: First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me. Blow. [When the witch comes at the end] Ash: Yo, she-bitch! [cocks shotgun] Let's go! [After defeating Bad Ash] Ash: Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun. Ash: Shop smart, shop S-mart! [Last line] Ash: Hail to the king, baby. # Arthur Arthur Bach: I'm so rich, I wish I had a dime for every dime I had. # Bananas Fielding Mellish: I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts. # Barbarian Queen Amathea: I'll be no man's slave and no man's whore, and if I can't kill them all, by the gods they'll know I've tried. # Batman (1989) [Repeated line] Jack Napier: Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? [Jack Napier is confronted with Batman for the first time] Jack Napier: Nice outfit! [Joker gives someone a hand and electrocutes him] Joker: Oh, I got a live one here! [Jack Napier looks through a pile of pictures and sees Vicki Vale for the first time] Jack Napier: Stop the press, who is that? # Best Man, The William Russell: T.T. Claypoole has all the characteristics of a dog except loyalty. # Billy Budd Billy Budd: Farewell to the Rights of Man! # Billy Ze Kick [The police are interrogating some witnesses] Witness: He looked very North-African and he had something oriental in his face; actually, he looked more like a Turk, like a Germanic Turk, with blue eyes... # Birds, The Cathy Brenner: He's got a client who shot his wife in the head six times. Six times, can you imagine it? I mean, even twice would be overdoing it, don't you think? # Blade Runner Deckard: Sushi. That's what my ex-wife calls me - Cold fish. Sushi Master: He say you are blade runner. Deckard: Tell him I'm eating. Deckard: I have had people walk out on me before, but not when I was being so charming. Roy Batty: Chew, if only you could see what I've seen with your eyes! Tyrell: The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long - and you have burned so very, very brightly, Roy. Roy Batty: I've seen things you wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die. Leon: Nothing is worse than having an itch you can never scratch! Leon: Wake up! Time to die! Pris: Must get lonely here, J.F. J.F. Sebastian: Not really. I MAKE friends. They're toys. My friends are toys. I make them. It's a hobby. I'm a genetic designer. Rachael: I'm not in the business... I am the business... Gaff: It's too bad she won't live! But then again, who does? # Blind Fury Crook: God damned! That thing's got more holes than my daddy's rubber. # Blues Brothers, The The Bartender: We got both kinds of music - country AND western. Elwood Blues: You were in jail... You had no hope... So I took the liberty of bullshitting you. Elwood Blues: We're 104 miles from Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, a half pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses. Jake Blues: Hit it! # Body Heat [First Line] Ned Racine: My history is burning up out there. # Bram Stoker's Dracula Vlad Dracula: I have crossed oceans of time to find you. # Buffy the Vampire Slayer Coach: OK people, they are psyching you out. Let's not be so defensive out there, OK? Now what do we say on the court, repeat after me; I am a person, I have the right to the ball. [The Coach is having the last pep-talk with his team, pointing at a piece of paper with an infinity-sign, some male / female symbols and the eye inside the pyramid] Coach: ...therefore, if we all work together, together we'll work out. Are you with me? Get out there! All right! Score some.. eh.. points! Hey, you missed practice again today! I think you better sit down and think about how that made me feel... Vampire: You ruined my jacket! Kill him A LOT! # Cadillac Man [Joe is trading insults with a photographer] Joe: You know what you are --- you're an ass-half... Takes two of you to make an ass-whole. Moly: ...you have no respect for women. Joe: I guess dinner and a blow job's out of the question. Moly: I guess. Joe: We'll forget dinner... # Casablanca Yvonne: Where were you last night? Rick Blaine: That's so long ago, I don't remember. Yvonne: Will I see you tonight? Rick Blaine: I never make plans that far ahead. [Last line] Rick Blaine: Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. # Citizen Kane [First line] Charles Foster Kane: Rosebud... Rosebud... Charles Foster Kane: I run a couple of newspapers. What do you do? # Closet Land Torturer: We are both seekers of truth and in this quest I am your friend, philosopher and guide. # Commando (1985) Matrix: I let him go. Matrix: I'll be back, Bennet! # Conan the Barbarian Conan: Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, and why we died. All that matters is that today, two stood against many. Valor pleases you, so grant me this one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, the HELL with you! Valeria: Do you want to live forever? Thulsa Doom: Now they will know why they are afraid of the dark. Now they learn why they fear the night. Subotai: He is Conan, Cimmerian, he won't cry, so I cry for him. Mongol General: Conan, what is good in life? Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, hear the lamentations of the women. # Dark Backward, The Rosarita: It's all over between the two of us. I can't love a man with three hands. # Dial M for Murder (1954) Tony Wendice: People don't commit murder on credit. Tony Wendice: Do you really believe in the perfect murder? # Die Hard 2 [Just before John McClane recognizes Vito Lorenzo, the officer towing away his car earlier] John McClane: Excuse me officers. This may sound like a wild goose-chase, but I think I just saw... Vito Lorenzo: Saw what??? John McClane: Elvis. Elvis Presley... John McClane: Oh man, I can't fucking believe this. Another basement, another elevator. How can the same thing happen to the same guy twice??? Grant: You are the wrong person at the wrong place at the wrong time! John McClane: Story of my life. John McClane: I guess I was wrong about you. You're not such an asshole after all. Grant: Oh, you were right about me. I'm just your kind of asshole. Grant: Too bad, McClane. I kind of liked you. John McClane: I got enough friends! John McClane: Yippie-ki-yeah, motherfucker! Holly McClane: They told me there were terrorists at the airport. John McClane: Yeah, I heard that too. # Doctor and the Devils, The Doctor Thomas Rock: I set myself up as a God over death. # Doctor Dolittle Ploynesia the Parrot: I speak over two thousand languages, including Dodo and Unicorn. # Dracula (1979) Count Dracula: Listen to them -- children of the night. What music they make! # Duellists, The Armand D'Hubert: I am going to be killed responsibly, on horseback, as a compliment to the cavalry. Armand D'Hubert: General Feraud has made occasional attempts to kill me. That does not give him the right to claim my acquaintance. Armand D'Hubert: We came here to kill each other. Any ground is suitable for that. # Easy Rider George Hanson: I mean it is real hard to be free when you are bought and sold in the market place. # Empire Strikes Back, The Han Solo: Afraid I was gonna leave without giving you a good bye kiss? Princess Leia Organa: I'd just as soon kiss a wookie! Han Solo: I can arrange that! You could use a good kiss! C-3PO: R2 says that the chances of survival are 725 to 1. Actually R2 has been known to make mistakes - from time to time... Oh dear, oh dear... Han Solo: I thought this smelt bad on the outside! Princess Leia Organa: I love you. Han Solo: I know. Princess Leia Organa: I'll be back! # Evil Dead II [Upon gaining the chain saw in place of his lost right hand] Ash: Groovy. # Evil Dead, The [Sharyn has been hacked into several pieces] Ash: We can't bury Sharyn. She's our friend. # Fearless Laura Klein: Why didn't you call and say you were alive? Max Klein: I thought I was dead. Carla Rodrigo: So what are you saying? That there's no God, but there's you? # Flatliners [First line] Nelson: Today is a good day to die... Joe Hurley: I don't know. Not thinking about the past or the future. I don't know it's difficult to explain, maybe impossible. David Labraccio: Yeah, dying is quite that way. ["Hoka-hey" is an suix-indian war cry, meaning "Today is a good day to die"] David Labraccio: Hoka-hey [Last Line] Nelson: It wasn't such a good day to die... # Foreign Correspondent Johnny Jones: I'm in love with a girl, and I'm going to help hang her father. # Frenzy (1972) [Last line] Inspector Oxford: Mr. Rusk, you're not wearing your tie. # Ghost Story (1981) [Repeated line, including last] Eva/Alma: I will take you places you've never been. I will show you things that you have never seen and I will see the life run out of you. # Ghostbusters Doctor Peter Venkman: Back off man. I'm a scientist. Doctor Peter Venkman: This chick is *toast*. Doctor Raymond Stantz: Well, this is great. If the ionization-rate is constant for all ectoplasmic entities, we can really bust some heads ... in a spiritual sense ... Dekanus: This university will no longer continue any funding of any kind for your group's activities. Doctor Peter Venkman: But the kids love us! Dana Barrett: That's the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there. Doctor Peter Venkman: What a crime. [Doctor Peter Venkman is opening the refrigerator door to look for ghosts] Doctor Peter Venkman: Oh my God! Look at all the junk food. Doctor Peter Venkman: He slimed me! Janine Melnitz: Do you believe in UFOs, astralprojections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoiance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full transmedium, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlantis? Winston Zeddmore: Ah, if there is a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you tell me. [The Gate Keeper, possessing Dana Barrett's body] The Gate Keeper: Do you want this body? Doctor Peter Venkman: Is this a trick question? Winston Zeddmore: Do you believe in God? Doctor Raymond Stantz: Never met him. Doctor Peter Venkman: When someone asks you if you're a god, you say yes! # Gleaming the Cube Brian Kelly: Can I ask you something personal? Tina Trac: Sure... Brian Kelly: Where's the bathroom? # Grand Canyon (1991) Davis: All of life's riddles are answered in the movies. Davis: We're talking about a religious experience here. I might say 'doth' or 'thou' or a lot of things. # Guess Who's Coming to Dinner [Last line and Spencer Tracy's last movie line] Matt Drayton: Well Tilly, when the hell are we going to get some dinner? # Hard to Kill Mason Storm: This is for my wife. Fuck you and die! # Heathers J.D.: Seven schools in seven states and the only thing different is my locker combination. Veronica: Heather, why are you such a bitch? Heather: Because I can be. # Hero (1992) Bernie LaPlante: You gotta look out for Goddamn number-one, pardon-the-vulgarity. # Highlander [Just before the McLeod clan goes to war] Kate: Angus, you'll keep him in one piece, ya hear? Dugal MacLeod: And we all know what piece that is! Ramirez: Why does the sun come up, or are the stars just pinholes in the curtain of night? Ramirez: If your head comes away from your neck, it's over! Candy: Hi, I'm Candy. Kurgan: Of course you are... Kurgan: Forgive me father, I am a worm... Kurgan: It's better to burn out, than to fade away! Kurgan: So now it ends... [Repeated line by Ramirez, The Kurgan and Connor MacLeod] Connor MacLeod: There can only be one! [Looking at the body lying next to its head] Garfield: What do you think the cause of death was, Lieutenant? Connor MacLeod: You only have one life! Value it! # Hitcher, The [John Ryder is being interrogated by the police] Interrogation Sergeant: What's your name? Come on. What's your name? Do you have a name? Do you have a police record? Where are you from? John Ryder: Disneyland. # Holiday (1938) Johnny Case: When I find myself in a position like this, I ask myself what would General Motors do? ...and then I do the opposite! # Hook (1991) Peter Banning: I'm not a pirate! It so happens that I am a lawyer. # How to Marry a Millionaire [Referring to older men marrying young women] Lauren Bacall: Look at Roosevelt, look at Churchill, look at old fella what's his name in The African Queen. # Hunt for Red October, The Marko Ramius: Ryan, be careful what you shoot at. Most things in here don't react too well to bullets. Jack Ryan: I'm not an agent, I just write books for the CIA. # I'm No Angel (Mae West): It's not the men in your life, it's the life in your men that counts. # In the Line of Fire Lilly Raines: What makes you think he'll call back? Frank Horrigan: Oh, he'll call back. He's got "panache". Lilly Raines: Panache? Frank Horrigan: Yeah, it means flamboyance. Lilly Raines: I know what it means. Frank Horrigan: Really? I had to look it up... Mitch Leary: Watching the president, I couldn't help wondering why a man like you would risk his life to save a man like that. You have such a strange job. I can't decide if it's heroic or absurd. Frank Horrigan: Now, why would a man like you risk his life to kill a man like that? Sam Campagna: Frank, the president sent his limo for you. Lilly Raines: Well, that's the least he could do. Frank Horrigan: Good, I love public transportation. # Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Indiana Jones: I'm like a bad penny, I always turn up. # Into the Night Ed Okin: Are we under arrest or what? FBI Agent: I think you fall into the 'or what' category. # It's a Wonderful Life George Bailey: You call this a happy family? Why do we have to have all these kids? # Jaws Hooper: This was no boat accident! Brody: It's only an island if you look at it from the water. Hooper: Mr. Vaughan, what we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, er... an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks and that's all. # Jurassic Park Lex: It's a UNIX system! I know this!!! Ian Malcolm: God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs... Dr. Ellie Sattler: Dinosaurs destroys man. Women rule the earth... Ian Malcolm: Oh no. We're in the hands of engineers! [After being chased by the T-Rex] Ian Malcolm: You think they'll have that on the tour? Ian Malcolm: Yes, John. But when the Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists. # Kelly's Heroes [Oddball sees that the bridge he wants to cross is intact and is pleased with himself] Oddball: Still up ! [A plane flies over the bridge and bombs it.. direct hit] Oddball: No it ain't. Oddball: Arf arf arf... That's my other dog impression. # Klondike Annie (Mae West): Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I never tried. # L.A. Story Road Sign: There are more things in heaven and earth, Harris, than are dreamt of in your philosophy. [Repeated line] Sara McDowel: Let your mind go and your body will follow. Harris K. Telemacher: Ordinarily, I don't like to be around interesting people because it means I have to be interesting too. Sara McDowel: Are you saying I'm interesting? Harris K. Telemacher: All I'm saying is that, when I'm around you, I find myself showing off, which is the idiot's version of being interesting. Bob: Hi. My name is Bob. I'll be your robber. Harris K. Telemacher: Hi, how are you? [Hands him the money] Bob: Thank you very much. # Lady Vanishes, The (1938) Iris Henderson: I've no regrets. I've been everywhere and done everything. I've eaten caviar at Cannes, sausage rolls at the dogs. I've played baccarat at Biarritz and darts with the rural dean. What is there left for me but marriage? # Last Action Hero Jack Slater: I'll be back! Jack Slater: My daughter's not normal. For the prom, she stayed home and field stripped an AK-47. # Last Boy Scout, The [Billy Cole's last line] Billy Cole: Ain't life a bitch? Jimmy Dix: Hi, you're nobody! Joe Hallenbeck: Shhh, don't tell anyone. Joe Hallenbeck: This ain't no game, Flash! Real guns. Real bullets. It's dangerous. Jimmy Dix: "Dangerous" is my middle name. Joe Hallenbeck: Mine is "Cornelius". Milo: You think you are so fucking cool, don't you? You think you are so fucking cool. But just once, I would like to hear you scream in pain... Joe Hallenbeck: Play some rap-music. # Last of the Mohicans, The (1992) Nathaniel Poe: In case your aim is better than your judgment. # Leap of Faith (1992) Jonah Nightengale: A twelve-gauge, double-barrelled, grenade-launcher of LOVE! # Lethal Weapon Man at the office: You know, Roger, you are way behind the times. The guys of the 80s aren't though. They are sensitive people. Show a little emotion to a woman and shit like that. I think I'm an 80's... Roger Murtaugh: How do you figure? Man at the office: Last night I cried in bed. So how is that? Roger Murtaugh: Were you with a woman? Man at the office: I was alone. Why do you think I cried? Roger Murtaugh: Sounds like an 80's man to me... [Repeated line all the way] Roger Murtaugh: I'm too old for this shit! Roger Murtaugh: God hates me, that's what it is... Martin Riggs: Hate him back! It works for me... Roger Murtaugh: Have you ever met anybody you didn't kill? Martin Riggs: I haven't killed you, have I? Martin Riggs: Perhaps there's an opening in the L.A. Fire Department? [When Joshua is panting on the lawn after the title-fight] Roger Murtaugh: Get that shit off my lawn! # Lethal Weapon 2 [After a wild car chase] Roger Murtaugh: This was a new car, Riggs... Martin Riggs: Well, it still is! [After shooting 2 criminals with a nail-gun] Roger Murtaugh: Nailed you both! # Leviathan (1989) Sixpack: You know, I stood next to a guy who blew up his suit once. I'll tell you, that was not a pretty sight. Jones: Leave DeJesus alone, man! Sixpack: One tiny little hole in a fucking toe of his suit, man. No bigger than your dick. Yeah, the way the ocean came in, the pressure just crammed his whole body up into his helmet. We just buried his helmet. That would have been you, DeJesus. DeJesus: Hey, I know about implosions. Sixpack: Yeah, I bet you do. I bet you were imploding in your pants. # Lion in Winter, The Philip II: That's what tapestries are for. Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine: You're not an assassin. Richard: Look again. Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine: We could tangle spiders in the webs you weave. King Henry II: More Brandy wine? They were boiling it in Ireland before the snakes left! Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine: What family doesn't have its ups and downs? Prince Geoffrey: I know. You know I know. I know you know I know. We know Henry knows, and Henry knows we know it. [smiles] We're a knowledgable family. # Little Shop of Horrors (1986) [Orin Scrivello, the sadistic dentist] Orin Scrivello: I thrill when I drill a bicuspid, it's swell though they tell me I'm mal-ad-just-ed. # Lodger, The (1926) Joe Betts: When I've put a rope round the Avenger's neck, I'll put a ring around Daisy's finger. # Made in America Hal Jackson: Funny thing, sperm... # Man Who Would Be King, The Peachy Carnehan: Detriments you call us? Detriments? Well I want to remind you that it was detriments like us that built this bloody Empire AND the Izzat of the bloody Raj. Hats on! Peachy Carnehan: Home to what? A porters uniform outside a restaurant and six penny tips from belching civilians for closing cab doors on their blowzy women? Daniel Dravot: Not for us thank you. Not after watching afghans come howling down out of the hills and taking battlefield command when all the officers bought it. Peachy Carnehan: Well said brother Dravot. # Manhunter (1986) Wil Graham: I know that I'm not smarter than you. Dr. Hannibal Lector: Then how did you catch me? Wil Graham: You had disadvantages. Dr. Hannibal Lector: What disadvantages? Wil Graham: You're insane. # Marked for Death [John Hatcher just killed two of the bad guys and is chatting to his buddy.] John Hatcher: One thought he was invisible, and the other thought he could fly. They were both wrong. # Midnight Cowboy Joe Buck: I'll tell you the truth now, I ain't a f'real cowboy. But I am one hell of a stud! # Mirror Crack'd, The Lola Brewster: I could eat a can of Kodak and puke a better movie. # Mister Roberts [Last line] Ensign Pulver: Captain, I just threw your palm tree overboard and what's all this crud about there being no movie tonight? # Monolith Tucker: I got 3 rules; 1) Shit happens, 2) Shit happens on a regular basis and 3) You better get used to rule 1 and 2. # Monty Python and the Holy Grail Peasant: Look, you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you! # More the Merrier, The Benjamin Dingle: There are two kinds of people - those who don't do what they want to do so they write down in a diary about what they haven't done and those who are too busy to write about it 'cause they're out doing it! # Murder! Handel Fane: I assure you, Inspector, I'm not the other woman in this case. # My Blue Heaven (1990) [pickup-line] Vincent Antonelli: You know, it's dangerous for you to be here in the frozen food section! Shaldeen: Why is that? Vincent Antonelli: Because you could melt all this stuff... [Vincent Antonelli is questioned about the stolen goods in the trunk of the car he stole] Hannah Stubbs: The books... Vincent Antonelli: You have something against books? Hannah Stubbs: I have nothing about books! I am curious about the books in your trunk. Vincent Antonelli: You see, I was thinking of writing my story, so I bought this one on how to do it. Hannah Stubbs: Why do you need 25 copies of it? Vincent Antonelli: In case I want to read it more than once... Vincent Antonelli: Richie loved to use 22s because the bullets are small and they don't come out the other end like a 45, see, a 45 will blow a barn door out the back of your head and there's a lot of dry cleaning involved, but a 22 will just rattle around like pac man until you're dead. [last line] Vincent Antonelli: You know, sometimes I even amaze myself. # My Own Private Idaho Mike Waters: This is a nice home. Do you live here? ... I don't blame you. Mike Waters: I've been tasting roads my whole life. Scott Favor: When you wake up, wipe the slugs off your face, Be ready for a new day! # Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear, The Lt. Frank Drebin: Nice party Hapsburg... I see a lot of familiar facelifts. Quentin Hapsburg: You do speak French don't you? Lt. Frank Drebin: Unfortunately no, but I do kiss that way. [Lt. Frank Drebin is unhappy about Dr. Mainheimer] Lt. Frank Drebin: Have you noticed anything different about him? Jane Spencer: Well, only that he's a foot taller, and he seems to be left handed now... Frank, what are you trying to tell me.. that Quentin has somehow found an exact double for Dr. Mainheimer and that tomorrow that double will give a fraudulent report to the president? Lt. Frank Drebin: Why that's brilliant, that's a lot better than what I came up with. [Hector Savage is in a house surrounded by armed police... He makes his demands] Hector Savage: I want a car out front, something fun, a Porsche, then I want a plane ticket to Jamaica... And I want a nice hotel, no touristy place... Something really indicative of the people and their culture. [Lt. Frank Drebin making a speech at the White House] Lt. Frank Drebin: ...blowing away a fleeing suspect with my 44 magnum used to mean everything to me, I enjoyed it, well who wouldn't? [Lt. Frank Drebin making a speech at the White House] Lt. Frank Drebin: I want a world where Frank junior and all the Frank juniors can sit under a shady tree, breathe the air, swim in the ocean, and go into a 7-11 without an interpreter. [Lt. Frank Drebin and Jane are standing next to a nuclear bomb which is about to explode] Jane Spencer: Frank, if you're going to be blown to bits, I want to be here with you. Lt. Frank Drebin: The truth hurts doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure maybe not as much as jumping on a bike with the seat missing... [Lt. Frank Drebin and Ed are in a sex shop making inquiries] Busty female shop assistant: Why should I tell you copper? Lt. Frank Drebin: Because I'm the last line of defense between sleeze like this and the decent people of this town. [a male shop assistant appears from a storeroom.] Assistant: Oh hi Frank, say we got that model D83 Swedish sure-grip suck machine that you ordered. [Talking to the female assistant] Lt. Frank Drebin: It's a gift. # Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!, The Frank Drebin: Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute before until he's behind bars. Now, let's grab a bite to eat. Frank Drebin: Interesting... Almost as interesting as the photographs I saw today. Jane Spencer: I was young. I needed the work. Jane Spencer: I wanted you to know, now, I've loved you since the first day I met you, and I'll never stop. I'm a very lucky woman. Frank Drebin: So am I... # Night and the City (1992) Harry Fabian: A toast. To all of you ... to hell with you, to all of me! # North by Northwest Roger O. Thornhill: Now you listen to me, I'm an advertising man, not a red herring. Roger O. Thornhill: I didn't realize you were an art collector. I thought you only collected corpses. Roger O. Thornhill: The only performance that will satisfy you is when I play dead. Phillip Vandamm: Your very next role. You'll be quite convincing, I assure you. Roger O. Thornhill: Now, what can a man do for twenty minutes with his clothes off? Couldn't we have made it an hour? Eve Kendall: You could take a cold shower. # Notorious (1946) Alexander Sebastian: I'm married to an American agent. [Last line] Eric Mathis: Alex, will you come in, please. I wish to talk to you. # Oliver! Boy: Fagin, this sausage is moldy! Fagin: Shut up and drink your gin. # Palm Beach Story, The "Wienie King": I'm the Weenie King! Invented the Texas Weenie! Lay off 'em, you'll live longer. John D. Hackensacker III: That's one of the greatest tragedies of this life -- that the men who are most in need of a beating up are always enormous. # Paradine Case, The Gay Keane: Well, nice people don't go murdering other nice people. # Pat and Mike [Last lines] Pat Pemberton: What would happen if I ever dropped you? Mike Conovan: I'd go right down the drain. Pat Pemberton: and? Mike Conovan: I'd take you right down with me shorty. # Planes, Trains & Automobiles [Waking up after sharing the same bed on the motel] Neal Page: Del.. Why did you kiss my ear? Del Griffith: Why are you holding my hand? Neal Page: Where are your other hand? Del Griffith: Between two pillows... Neal Page: Those AREN'T PILLOWS!!! [Driving on the wrong side of the highway] Neal Page: He says we're going the wrong way... Del Griffith: Oh, he's drunk. How would he know where we're going? Police Officer: What the hell are you driving here? Del Griffith: We had a small fire last night, but we caught it in a nick of time. Police Officer: Do you have any idea how fast you were going? Del Griffith: Funny enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. Our speedometer has melted and as a result it's very hard to see with any degree of accuracy exactly how fast we were going. # Point Break [Johnny Utah and Bodhi just beat the hell out of 4 surfers] Johnny Utah: This is stimulating, but we're out of here. Ben Harp: Special agent Utah! This is not some job, flipping burgers at the local drive-in! Yes! - your surfboard bothers me! Yes! - your approach to this whole damned case bothers me! And yes! - YOU BOTHER ME! And Pappas! Oh, for the love of Christ. How the hell did I even let you talk me into this whole bone-headed idea to begin with. Angelo Pappas: Harp! We are working under-cover. It takes time. We've produced a few... Ben Harp: NO! No no no no no no NO! Let me tell you what you've produced... Over the last two weeks, you two have produced exactly squat! SQUAT! During which time the ex-presidents have robbed two more banks. Now for Christ's sake, does either one of you have anything even remotely interesting to tell me? Johnny Utah: I caught my first tube today... Sir. [Angelo Pappas is aiming the gun at a surfer] Angelo Pappas: Speak into the microphone, squid brain! [After a long discussion about which parachute Johnny Utah should use] Johnny Utah: You gonna jump or jerk off? Bodhi: Life sure has a sick sense of humor, doesn't it? # Predator Dutch: I'll be back! # Prick Up Your Ears Joe Orton: I always wanted to be an orphan. I could have, if it wasn't for my parents. # Princess Bride, The [The Grandson, interrupting the story in a kissing-scene] The Grandson: Hold it, hold it! What is this? Are you trying to trick me? Where's the sports? Is this a kissing-book??? Vizzini: A word, my lady. We are but poor, lost circus performers. Is there a village nearby? Buttercup: There is nothing nearby... Not for miles. Vizzini: Then there will be no one to hear you scream! Inigo Montoya: That Vizzini, he can *fuss*. Fezzik: Fuss, fuss... I think he like to scream at *us*. Inigo Montoya: Probably he means no *harm*. Fezzik: He's really very short on *charm*. Inigo Montoya: You have a great gift for rhyme. Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time. Vizzini: Enough of that! Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead? Fezzik: If there are, we all be dead! Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it! Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut? Vizzini: DYEEAAHHHHHH!! [Vizzini has just cut the rope The Dread Pirate Roberts is climbing up] Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE! Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. Inigo Montoya: I donna suppose you coulda speed things up?? Westley: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do. Inigo Montoya: I could do that. I have some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only only waiting around to kill you. Westley: That does put a damper on our relationship. Inigo Montoya: I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand? Westley: Do you always begin conversations this way? Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow, I hate to kill you. Westley: You seem a decent fellow, I hate to die. Inigo Montoya: Who are you? Westley: No one of consequence. Inigo Montoya: I must know... Westley: Get used to disappointment. Vizzini: Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me... Buttercup: You mock my pain! Westley: Life is pain! Anyone who says different is trying to sell you something. Prince Humperdinc: Surrender! Westley: You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept... Westley: Give us the gate key. Count Rugen: I have no gate key. Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, tear his arms off. Count Rugen: Oh, you mean *this* gate key. Inigo Montoya: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. # Psycho Norman Bates: I think I must have one of those faces you can't help believing. Norman Bates: She just goes a little mad sometimes. We all go a little mad sometimes. Haven't you? Norman Bates: I'm not capable of being fooled! Not even by a woman. Norman Bates: Uh-uh, Mother-m-mother, uh, what is the phrase? She isn't quite herself today. Norman Bates: She might have fooled me, but she didn't fool my mother. Norman Bates: Well, a son is a poor substitute for a lover. Norman Bates: She's as harmless as one of those stuffed birds. Norman Bates: A boy's best friend is his mother. # Raiders of the Lost Ark Jock: C'mon, show a little backbone, will ya? Indiana Jones: It's not the years honey, it's the mileage. [Army Intelligence officer describing Indiana Jones] Officer: Professor of Archeology, expert on the occult, and how does one say it? Obtainer of rare antiquities. Indiana Jones: You want to talk to God? Let's go see him together, I've got nothing better to do! Rene Belloq: You and I are very much alike. Archeology is our religion, yet we have both fallen from the pure faith. Our methods have not differed as much as you pretend. I am but a shadowy reflection of you. It would take only a nudge to make you like me. To push you out of the light. Indiana Jones: Now you're getting nasty. Sallah: Indy, why does the floor move? Indiana Jones: Snakes ... why did it hafta be snakes? Sallah: Asps ... very dangerous. You go first. Indiana Jones: This site also demonstrates one of the great dangers of archeology, not to life and limb, although that does sometimes take place, I'm talking about folklore. # Rambling Rose Rose: I am only a human being person! Daddy: Put your damn tit back in your dress ... replace that tit! # Raw Deal (1986) Kaminski: You should not drink and bake! # Re-Animator Herbert West: Who's going to believe a talking head? Get a job in a sideshow. # Real Genius (1985) Old Lady: So what's Einstein really like? Hathaway: Dead. Knight: This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This is Kent. This is what happens to a man when he gets too sexually frustrated. [Mitch speaking through the microphone so that Kent hears voices in his head] Mitch: And from now on, stop playing with yourself! Kent: It is God! Mitch: I had this dream... Knight: Is it the one where you are standing on top of a pyramid surrounded by thousands of naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you? Mitch: No... Knight: Am I the only one who has that dream? Knight: If you think that by threatening me you can get me to do what you want... Well, that's where you're right. But -- and I am only saying that because I care -- there's a lot of decaffeinated brands on the market that taste just like the real thing. # Rear Window Stella: A murderer would never parade his crime in front of an open window. # Rebecca Maxim De Winter: I knew where Rebecca's body was, lying on that cabin floor at the bottom of the sea. Mrs. de Winter: How did you know, Max? Maxim De Winter: Because I put it there. # Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins... Chiun: Watches are a confidence trick; invented by the Swiss. # Repo Man Bud: A repo man spends his life getting into tense situations. Miller: The life of a repo man is always intense. # Return of the Jedi Han Solo: I think my eyes are getting better. Instead of a big dark blur it's a big light blur. Luke Skywalker: There's nothing to see. I used to live here you know. Han Solo: You gonna die here you know. Convenient! C3PO: I do believe they think I am some kind of god. Han Solo: Well, why don't you use your divine influence and get us out of this? C3PO: I beg your pardon general Solo, but that just wouldn't be proper. Han Solo: Proper??? C3PO: It's against my programming to impersonate a deity. # Ride the High Country Steve Judd: All I want is to enter my house justified. # Robin and Marian [Robin Hood comes back from the Crusades] Maid Marian: You never wrote. Robin Hood: I don't know how. # Rope Brandon: The good Americans usually die young on the battlefield, don't they? Well, the Davids of the world merely occupy space, which is why he was the perfect victim for the perfect crime. Brandon: We killed for the sake of danger and for the sake of killing. Brandon: Nobody commits murder just for the experience of committing it. Nobody except us. # Roxanne C.D. Bayles: Fashionable: You know you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger... like Wyoming! C.D. Bayles: Polite: Would you mind not bobbing your head; the orchestra keeps changing the tempo. Dixie: Want anything? A drink? C.D. Bayles: Yeah, but if I ask for another one, give it to me. # Running Man, The (1987) Ben Richards: I'll be back! # Scent of a Woman (1992) Colonel Roy Slade: Don't shrug you imbecile, I'm blind! Save the body language for the bimbae. # Shadow of a Doubt (1993) Charlie Oakley: The whole world is a joke to me. # Silence of the Lambs, The Dr. Hannibal Lecter: I do wish we could chat longer, but I'm having an old friend for dinner. # Some Girls [After the telephone interrupts Michael and Gabriella's foreplay, Michael starts talking to his penis] Michael: I don't believe this. Do you believe this? # Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama Spider: It's too bad we had to kill her. I really liked the outfit she had on. # Spaceballs Dark Helmet: I hope it's a long ceremony, 'cause it's gonna be a short honeymoon. Barf: I know we need the money, but... Lone Star: Listen! We're not just doing this for money... We're doing it for a SHIT LOAD of money! Barf: Oh, you're right. And when you're right, you're right. And you - you're always right. Dark Helmet: What's the matter, Col. Sandurz? CHICKEN??? [Colonel Sandurz, Dark Helmet and the Video Operator are watching _Spaceballs_ (qv), the movie] Colonel Sandurz: That's too early. Prepare to fast-forward! Video Operator: Preparing to fast-forward! Colonel Sandurz: Fast-forward! Video Operator: Fast-forwarding, Sir! Lone Star: What the hell was that noise? Dot Matrix: That was my virgin-alarm. It's programmed to go off before you do! President Scroob: Why didn't anyone tell me my ass was so big??? [After the self-destruction mechanism has been activated] President Scroob: Sandurz, Sandurz. You got to help me. I don't know what to do. I can't make decisions. I'm a president! [When Lone Star and Barf stops on the outer space gas-station] Waitress: Ready to order? Lady: Yeah, we'll both have the lunafish. [See _Alien (1979)_ (qv)] Kane: Oh no. Not again! Yogurt: And may the schwartz be with you! # Spellbound Dr. Alex Brulov: Women make the best psychoanalysts until they fall in love. After that they make the best patients. # Splitting Heirs Tommy Patel: You don't have to worry about me, dear. I'm "bi"-sexual. Whenever I want to have sex, I have to buy it. Brittle: Congratulations, Sir. Henry Martin: Eh, you can kiss ass later, Brittle. Brittle: Thank you, Sir. Butler: Drunk again, sir? Henry Martin: That's okay, butler. So are we. Adoption Agent: She insisted that you were adopted by a member of the working class to save you from the curse of money. Tommy Patel: How very thoughtful... Duchess Lucinda: "Stop"? You can't just arouse a woman and then yell "stop", even if you are English... Police Officer: We believe foul play was involved. Tommy Patel: Surely you don't think I... Police Officer: I don't think anything, sir. I'm a police officer. [After the moose-head falls down from the wall over Henry Martin] Henry Martin: Get me out of this moose! Shadgrind: So many of you orphans. Unwanted children all over the place. People were sex-mad in the 60s, seemed to do it just for fun... Weird. Kitty: That's Henry's mother, the black sheep in the family. She took so many strokes in the 60s they called her the U.S. open. # Stage Fright (1950) Charlotte Inwood: He was an abominable man. Why do women marry abominable men? # Stand by Me Vern Tessio: One food for the rest of my life? That's easy. Cherry pez. Cherry-flavored pez. There's no doubt about it. Vern Tessio: Mighty Mouse versus Superman? That's a tough one. # Star Wars Han Solo: Over my dead body! Greedo: That's the idea. I've been looking forward to this for a long time. Han Solo: Yes, I BET you have. *Zap* [R2D2 and Chewbacca are playing the holographic game on Millennium Falcon] Chewbacca: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh C3PO: He made a fair move. Screaming about it can't help it. Han Solo: I don't get it. It's not wise to upset a wookie. C3PO: But Sir, nobody worries about upsetting a droid. Han Solo: That's because droids don't pull peoples arms out of their sockets if they lose. Wookies are known to do that. C3PO: I see your point, Sir. I suggest a new strategy, R2... Let the wookie win. Han Solo: Not a bad bit of rescue. You know, sometimes I amaze even myself. Princess Leia Organa: That doesn't seem too hard. Ben (Obi-Wan) Kenobi: May the force be with you! # Strangers on a Train [First Line] Bruno Anthony: I beg your pardon, but aren't you Guy Haines? Bruno Anthony: Don't worry, I'm not going to shoot you, Mr. Haines. It might disturb mother. Bruno Anthony: I have a theory that you should do everything before you die. Guy Haines: I may be old-fashioned, but I thought murder was against the law. Bruno Anthony: Everyone has somebody that they want to put out of the way. Oh now, surely Madam, you're not going to tell me that there hasn't been a time that you didn't want to dispose of someone. Your husband, for instance. # Sullivan's Travels The Girl: I liked you better as a bum. John Lloyd Sullivan: I can't help what kind of people you like. John Lloyd Sullivan: There's a lot to be said for making people laugh. Did you know that that's all some people have? # Sunset Boulevard Norma Desmond: We didn't need dialogue. We had *faces*. # Survivors, The Donald Quinelle: What kind of man gives cigarettes to trees. # Suspicion (1941) [First line] Johnnie Aysgarth: Oh, I beg your pardon. Was that your leg? I had no idea we were going into a tunnel. I thought the compartment was empty. Johnnie Aysgarth: If you're going to kill someone, do it simply. Isobel Sedbusk: I always think of my murderers as my heroes. # Taxi Driver Travis Bickle: You talkin' to me? # Ten Commandments, The (1956) Nefertiti: Oh Moses, Moses, you adorable, stubborn fool! # Tequila Sunrise Carlos: Don't worry, buddy. I won't kill her unless you approve. McKussic: And if I don't approve? Carlos: Then we'll talk until you do... # Terminator 2: Judgment Day The Terminator: I need your clothes, boots and your motorcycle! Cigar Biker: You forgot to say please... Dr. Silberman: I'm sure it feels very real to you. Sarah Connor: On August 29th 1997 it's gonna feel pretty fucking real to you too. Anybody not wearing 2 million sunblock is gonna have a real bad day... Get it? John Connor: Now don't take this the wrong way, but you're a terminator, right? [Lewis, the Guard buys a cup of coffee, just before he is introduced to the T-1000 (As Lewis)] Lewis, the Guard: Hey, I got a full house! Gwen: That's good Lewis. Lewis, the Guard: Must be my lucky day... [Just like in _The Terminator_ (qv)] The Terminator: Come with me if you want to live! [Sarah Connor, looking at The Terminator] Sarah Connor: So, what's your story? The Terminator: Stay here, I'll be back! The Terminator: Hasta la vista, baby! # Terminator, The Kyle Reese: Come with me if you want to live! The Terminator: I'll be back! # Thelma & Louise J.D. Tech: You got an amazing story to tell your friends, if not you got a tag on your toe. J.D. Tech: Well now, I've always believed if done properly, armed robbery doesn't have to be a totally unpleasant experience. # They Came from Within Forsythe: He tells me that even old flesh is erotic flesh, that disease is the love of two alien kinds of creatures for each other, that even dying is an act of eroticism. # They Died with Their Boots On George Armstrong Custer: We ride ... to hell. Or to glory. It depends on your point of view. # They Live Nada: I'm here to chew bubble gum and kick ass, and I'm all out of bubble gum. # Thing, The (1982) [Last line] MacReady: Why don't we just wait here for a while ... see what happens. # Third Man, The Harry Lime: In Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love -- they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock. # Three Amigos! [Dusty Bottoms and Lucky Day thinks Ned Nederlander is saying "mail" plane] Dusty Bottoms: What is it doing here? Ned Nederlander: I think it's a male plane. Dusty Bottoms: How can you tell? Ned Nederlander: Didn't you notice it's little balls? # To Catch a Thief Frances Stevens: I've never caught a jewel thief before. It's very stimulating. [Last line] Frances Stevens: So this is where you live? Oh, Mother will love it up here! John Robie: You don't have to spend every day of your life proving your honesty, but I do. # Tootsie [Michael Dorsey as Dorothy Michaels] Dorothy Michaels: What kind of mother would I be if I didn't give my girls tits ... tips? # Top Secret! [on the telephone] German Officer: ...well, let me know if his condition improves. [to people in the room] German Officer: ...he's dead. # Treasure of the Sierra Madre, The [This is the original] Gold Hat: Badges? We ain't got no badges. We don't need no badges. I don't have to show you any stinking badges. # Tremors Valentine McKee: You see, we plan ahead, that way we don't do anything right now. Earl Bass: Damn it Valentine, you never plan ahead, you never take the long view, I mean here it is Monday and I'm already thinking of Wednesday.... It is Monday right? [Earl Bass and Valentine McKee are about to meet Rhonda LeBeck; Valentine McKee pictures her] Valentine McKee: You will have; long blonde hair, big green eyes, world class breasts, ass that won't quit and legs that go all the way up. [Earl Bass and Valentine McKee have just been chased by a 30 feet long monster] Rhonda LeBeck: Did you notice anything weird a minute ago? Valentine McKee: This valley is just one long smorgasbord. Earl Bass: Damn it and listen to me, I'm older and I'm wiser. Valentine McKee: Yeah, well you're half right. [Burt Gummer looks at his bomb shelter for perhaps the last time] Burt Gummer: Food for five years, a thousand gallons of gas, air filtration, water filtration, geiger counter. Bomb shelter! Underground... God damn monsters. # Trouble with Harry, The [Upon finding the Captain dragging a body along the ground] Miss Graveley: What seems to be the trouble, Captain? [The Captain and Miss Graveley have afternoon tea together] Captain: A real handsome man's cup. Miss Graveley: It's been in the family for years. My father always used it ... until he died. Captain: I trust he died peacefully. Slipped away in the night? Miss Graveley: He was caught in a threshing machine. [Referring to Harry] Jennifer Rogers: He looked exactly the same when he was alive, only he was vertical. Captain: Marriage is a good way to spend the winter. # Turner & Hooch Amos Reed: Let him go, Hooch! I'm sorry, Scott. I don't have the hand-strength I used to. You're OK, aren't you? Scott Turner: Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I was looking forward to a nice quiet cup of coffee, BUT NOW I'M AWAKE! Emily Carson: Well, it's a nice night, and I have to walk Camille. Do you want to take a walk with me? Scott Turner: No. No. Well, you see, I'm starting to like you, and if we're going to walk I'm just going to like you even more, and then one day we might even end up in love and everything will go on fine for a while, but-but then one day *bang* you're gonna call me a selfish compulsive bachelor. You gonna pull your hair, you gonna scream and you gonna say you never want to see me again because I drive you crazy, and I'm a lousy shot. Now, who needs that? Good night. # Twins Julius Benedict: If you're lying, I'll be back! # UHF Bob: How could you do this to me? I knew this was gonna happen! George Newman: You're right, Bob. I'm sorry. What can I say? I-I'm a miserable worthless hunk of slime. Here, I want you to take this crowbar and just bash my head right in. Go ahead. Really! Just BASH my head right in! Bob: George, you know I can't do that. You still owe me 5 bucks. Bob: I don't know about this, George. We don't know the first thing about what goes on in a television station. George Newman: Don't worry, Bob. It's just like working in a fish-market. Except you don't have to clean and gut fish all day. [In the "Spatula City" advertising commercial] Sy Greenblum: Hello, this is Sy Greenblum, president of Spatula City. I like the spatulas so much, I bought the company. Stanley Spadowski: George, you know I was wondering, like if you were traveling through outer space, I mean like you're going real fast, like the speed of light, you know ...hoooohhhhh... and all of a sudden you started screaming ...aaaahhhhh aaaaahhhhh... Do you think your brain would blow up? Bob: Guys, I'm trying to work... Do you mind? Stanley Spadowski: I don't mind. Go right ahead... Do you mind, George? [See _The Treasure of the Sierra Madre_ (qv)] Raul Hernandez: Badgers? Badgers? We don't need no stinking badgers! R.J. Fletcher: This is an embarrassment. A disgrace. What do you think R.J. Fletcher Senior would be saying if he were alive today? Richard Fletcher: "Help me out of this box, I can't breathe in here! Help, let me out!" Stanley Spadowski: George? What's the matter? George Newman: Stanley, you don't want to know. Stanley Spadowski: Huh? Why did I ask? # Under Siege (1992) Admiral Bates: This is Admiral Bates speaking. I am trying to get a hold of chief Ryback. Is he about? Jordan Tate: He is in a gunfight right now. I'm gonna have to take a message. William Strannix: All my life, Saturday morning cartoons... The best! # Vertigo [First Line] Cop: Give me your hand. Give me your hand. John Fergusson: You shouldn't keep souvenirs of a killing. You shouldn't have been that sentimental. # War of the Roses, The [Finding out that they are going to get a divorce] Oliver Rose: And you better get yourself a damned good lawyer! Barbara Rose: Best your money can buy! Gavin D'Amato: Oliver, my father used to say that a man can never out-do a woman when it comes to love and revenge. [Oliver Rose pees on the fish Barbara Rose had prepared for the guests] Barbara Rose: I would never humiliate you like this! Oliver Rose: You're not equipped to, honey. # Wayne's World Garth Algar: That is a babe! She makes me feel kinda funny, like when we used to climb the rope in gym-class. Benjamin Oliver: So Garth, how do you like being in a studio? Garth Algar: Ahm, it's it's like a new pair of underwear, you know... At first it's constrictive, but after a while it becomes a part of you. [See _Terminator 2: Judgment Day_ (qv)] [Wayne Campbell is stopped by a traffic cop] Wayne Campbell: Yes, officer, is there a problem? T-1000: Have you seen this boy? Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar: We're not worthy! We're not worthy! # Wayne's World 2 [pickup-line] Honey Hornee: So, would you like to have dinner one night? Garth Algar: Oh, I like to have dinner every night. Honey Hornee: I bet you like to be in control... Garth Algar: Yes, like when I was 17, my sister wanted to loan my Def Leppard. I said "No way!". [Instead of saying "excuse me, I beg your pardon?"] Wayne Campbell: Exsqueeze me? A baking-powder? # Who Framed Roger Rabbit Jessica: I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way. Jessica: I've loved you more than any woman's loved a rabbit. # Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter? Rita Marlowe: I picked him up, I can pick him down. # Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Willy Wonka: No other factory in the world mixes its chocolate by waterfall. Willy Wonka: Are the hell fires a-glowing? Is the reaper a-mowing? So the danger must be growing! Willy Wonka: Bubbles, bubbles everywhere, and not a drop to drink! Willy Wonka: If the good Lord had intended us to walk he wouldn't have invented roller-skates. Willy Wonka: Everything inside is eatable, I mean edible, I mean everything can be eaten. Willy Wonka: So much time and so little to do ... strike that, reverse it. # Witness (1985) Rachel Lapp: I just don't like my son spending all his time with a man who carries a gun and goes around whacking people. John Book: Whacking, I'm hell at whacking. John Book: How do I look - I mean, do I look Amish? # Woman of the Year (1942) [Last Line] Sam Craig: I've just launched Gerald. # Wrong Man, The (1957) Lt. Bowers: An innocent man has nothing to fear, remember that. # Wrong Trousers, The Wallace: Cracking toast Gromit! Wallace: They're the wrong trousers Gromit, and they've gone wrong! # Young Guns II Charles Phalen: William H. Bonney, heh? Billy the Kid was shot and killed by Pat Garret. Everybody knows that, it's common knowledge. William H. Bonney (the Old): There are other lawyers around, you piece of chicken shit. Get back in the vehicle and drive before I make it 22 just for the hell of it. [last line a lot of people heard] William H. Bonney: Yoohoo. I'll make you famous! Doc Scurlock: You son of a bitch! You're starting to believe what they're writing about you, aren't you? Let me tell you what you really are! You rode a 14 year old boy straight to his grave, ant the rest of us straight to hell... Straight to hell! William H. Bonney! You are NOT a god! William H. Bonney: Why don't you pull the trigger and find out? Judge Bristol: ...and there be hanged by the neck till he be dead, dead, dead. Now, do you have anything to say, young man? William H. Bonney: Yes I do, your Honor. You can go to hell, hell, hell. William H. Bonney: "Buckshot George", that's your name. You wanted a name, that's it. "Buckshot George". It's a good name. Hendry French: My name is Hendry William French. William H. Bonney: That's a good name too. Tom O'Tolliard: What's scum? William H. Bonney: Well Tom, that's bad types. Politicians, bankers, cattle-kings... Scum... # Zulu Private: Why us? Why does it have to be us? Sergeant: Because we're here lad. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- The contents of this .signature is fictitious. No similarity to actual .signatures, digital or hardcopy, is intended or should be inferred. Lars Joergen Aas - larsa@edb.tih.no