Archive-name: firesign-theatre/intro Last-modified: 1994/4/29 Version: 1.13 About This Archive ------------------ This archive is posted monthly to alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre, alt.fan.firesign-theatre, alt.answers, and news.answers. It is also available via anonymous ftp to rtfm.mit.edu in the directory /pub/usenet/alt.answers/firesign-theatre/*, or by sending e-mail to mail-server@rtfm.mit.edu with the message "send usenet/alt.answers/firesign-theatre/*". Include the line "help" in the message for more information on the server. Changes: 1. Updated video/sources entries. The Firesign Theatre: Introduction & Table of Contents ====================================================== This series of files is intended to provide a general information base for discussion, and answer some frequently-asked questions posted on alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre and its mirror-clone alt.fan.firesign-theatre. For the rest of this document "alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre" will be used to refer to both groups. Additions and corrections to this file should be directed to the FAQ editor (###-a fancy title for ndr@tazboy.jpl.nasa.gov (Niles Ritter). Some portions of this document are copyrighted by the members of the Firesign Theatre; you may want to get permission before using parts of this document in *for-profit* publication -- we are their fans, after all! ###-Editor's remarks are denoted by three #'s Table Of Contents ================= (Each "Side" is a separate file.) Side 1) Firesign Theatre: Introduction 1.1) Who Am Us, Anyway? 1.1.1) The Four or Five Crazy Guys 1.1.2) A Forward Into the Past History 1.1.3) The newsgroups and fan clubs 1.2) Published Works 1.2.1) Radio/TV/Stage production 1.2.2) Vinyl 1.2.3) Video 1.2.4) Books 1.2.5) CD's 1.2.6) Cassettes 1.2.7) LD's 1.3) References 1.3.1) Interviews/articles on FT 1.3.2) Literary References/Background Side 2) Firesign Theatre: Frequently Asked questions 2.0) I've just Discovered the F.T! How should I get started? 2.1) How Can I Get Copies of these FAQs? 2.2) How can I contact the NewsGroup with E-mail? 2.3) Who Did Which Roles? 2.4) Any Reunions going on ? 2.5) Where are they now ? 2.6) Common FT Phrases 2.7) Who is Doctor Memory? 2.8) Is it "Back T0 the Shadows" or "..FROM the Shadows" ? 2.9) FT Questions posed to the Usenet Oracle Side 3) Firesign Theatre: Lyrics to Songs Side 4) Firesign Theatre: Lexicon -------------------------------------------------------------- Side 1) Introduction to Firesign Theatricum Creating an FAQ for the Firesign Theatre is something analogous to "The complete works of Shakespeare, FAQ", so be aware that the world of FT is as vast and deep as the ocean and the azure sky. 1.1) Who Am Us, Anyway? Here is a description of the Firesign Theatre: A group of four gifted improvisational comedians and satirists, perhaps best known for several record albums they produced in the 1970s. These were famous for their depth of interaction among the characters, their range of literary allusion and references to popular culture, history and science, and the incomparable surreal quality of their pacing. Different listeners would each find different significance in the work and make different connections between themes within them. Much of their work anticipated developments in video, interactive media, computer technology and virtual reality by some 20 years. Their initial work began on radio in Los Angeles in the mid 60's, but their James-Joycean style of dramatic satire quickly expanded to include phonograph recordings, live stage productions, movies, books, and one of the first interactive video productions produced. More than one fan has noted the complexity of their recordings, which derived from their use of dense layering of sound tracks, as well as their ingenious use of puns, metaphor, and other literary allusions. The FT wove intricate stories which flowed, not so much like a river, but like a rapidly evolving organism, projecting pseudopods out this way, and then that. And yet the stories always seemed to maintain its own internal logic. None of this begins to do them any justice: we encourage you to buy one of their CDs (or old phonos) and hear for yourself. This is in fact, about the only way to really understand what the Firesign Theatre was and IS about! We're not insane! 1.1.1) The Four or Five Crazy Guys: Name -- Aliases, roles ----------------------------------- Philip Austin -- Nick Danger, Hemlock Stones, etc, Philip Proctor -- Clem, Ralph Spoilsport, the Poop, etc David Ossman -- Porgie, Catherwood, etc Peter Bergman -- Babe, Mudhead, Nancy... We should also acknowledge the oft-ignored but ubiquitous female members: Annalee Austin -- Operator in "Don't crush that Dwarf" Tiny Ossman -- Announcerettes in "Bozos" Laura Quinn -- Hawkmoth in "Eat or Be Eaten" Others appearing in FT productions include Diane Davisson, Rodger Bumpass, Jerry Houser, Christie Houser, Susan Tanner, Cyrus Faryar, and casts of thousands. For updates on where they are now, see the "Frequently Asked Questions" file. A series of quotes from the {BBOP} book: Philip Austin: ------------- "I always wanted to be a part of something. Annalee and I used to secretly, separately, dream of rock and roll bands. I hadn't even *thought* yet that rock and roll could save me. "So I was in Hollywood in 1966, starving on all levels. I got a job in a radio station because I could always do that with my voice -- could make you believe that I was committed to the words coming out of my mouth. I mistakenly believed, therefore that I was an Actor. I'm not. I'm a musician. Interesting that it was the *sounds* of the words that got to me the most. The Firesign Theatre was the vehicle that allowed me to make that discovery. "The Firesign Theatre is a *Technique*. "These were the people who faced me across the microphones on the radio and this is what I think of them: "David Ossman is the first I met. The two of us are not what you'd think of right off as comedians. I was producing all these plays by dead authors -- acting, directing; got David to act, looked at the amazing books of poetry that he'd produced -- as if he had hand-printed every page. We had wonderful conversations about the Indians. Hopi. "Peter Bergman was the Voice that Wouldn't Die. What a talker! The Champ. I engineered _Radio Free Oz_ and appeared in a variety of stoned disguises. (This was fun. Not like acting, which is not real to me, therefore not fun.) Unlike most performers, Peter becomes *more* candid when he performs. Set him in front of a microphone and you have an angel. With most people, it's the opposite. "Philip Proctor *is* an actor. He is also not exactly a comedian. He is not so much trying to make you laugh as he is trying to explain something to you. I have always been his friend because I admire that so much. He can go places I can't. He was a friend of Peter's who was "funny". God, ain't dat de trufe! "So there we were, *four friends*. You see, we had no ambitions. It was a pure jam and the instrument we each played was verbal glibness or *radio*. We still continue that first conversation. This book, those recordings, are records of that conversation, a minute-book of the meeting. "Quickly, Ambition walked in the door. I thought we were good. I'd heard some pretty fast, funny cats in my time, but these three were as good as Spike Milligan. We started hanging out with each other, gave up our jobs, found more and more ways to earn livings using each other. I got my Globe Theatre, Phil P. got a Movie Company, David got a Great Work of Literature and Peter got the Forever Radio Show. "RECORDS ARE RECORDS (recordings of something). THEY ARE MEANT TO INCLUDE YOU IN OUR CONVERSATION. "Yes, we take it seriously. Read [in the Big Book of Plays] Hideo Gump Sr.'s intro to each script. Laughter and Dancing, Singing and Love. We love the Firesign Theatre. How do you get along with people? What do you have to show for it? Our work is, to me, my answer to those questions. "What does it mean? "1. The Firesign Theatre writes communally. Every word goes through four heads for approval. We therefore write very slowly. Our energy level is intense. Grown men leave the room when we fight with each other. Nothing is sacred. "2. Therefore, there are considerable areas of chance (*chance*) in our work since no overall motive is possible. All communal endeavors learn one thing, I think. *Only real things can be agreed upon*. The future is not real, therefore *motives* cannot be agreed upon. *Chance becomes the motive*. "What do we mean? We mean whatever's happening. ?Que paso, hombre? *Our records are records of what happened to us during the period we made them. *Our records are a continuous story that will last as long as our friendship. *May we be friends forever. --Phil Austin (Signature) Philip Proctor: " I was born in a trunk in the Princess Theatre, Pocatello, Idaho. No, I was born in Goshen, Indiana. I really have spent some time analyzing it. I grew up in an essentially schizophrenic existence. I was schooled on the East Coast, because I moved there when I was five. I went to Riverdale Country School and Yale University, but during my formative years of growth -- the pubic years -- I grew up in Goshen, Indiana, with my grand parents and my neighborhood friends. Radio and comic books had a lot to do with my youth. The comic books supplied the visual element. I finally became a professional actor after college. Acting led me to The Firesign Theatre because I found New York theatre to be dumb and limited. Silly. I wanted to create my own theatre. --Philip Proctor (Signature) David Ossman: "I'm a writer, a poet, which is to say I always did that. My life was totally in my head, and I wrote about it. I developed a historical sense of things and then I went into radio. Because that's what I always wanted to do.It was one of those childhood fantasies like growing up to be a fireman. I wanted to be a radio announcer, and in 1959 I became a radio announcer. I did that for quite a while. I worked in New York at WBAI for two years and then went back to the West Coast and worked for KPFK for four years. They laid everybody off, including me, so I got a job in television, which I hated, so I dropped out of that. The Firesign Theatre appeared at the same time. --David Ossman (Signature) Peter Bergman: "I owe everything I do tho my normal childhood. I had a very unrepressed childhood and I lived in the Midwest, and there were very few things to amuse myself, except softball, so I would do routines to myself, like "Why Isn't Everybody Happy?" was one of my routines, so they kept me indoors a lot. A kid named Bruce Berger and I opened up a parking lot one night in an empty lot across from an Emporium show. We made $50 wearing Cleveland Indians baseball caps, yelling, "*Park and Lock it! Not Responsible!*" "My honest idea of The Firesign Theatre is four artists getting together and grouping to create some new art form, some multi-art that comes our of all four of their minds. It's an interesting choice, and that's one of the things that fascinates me. It's not a loss of identity, really. It's more a gaining of a double identity. I'm Peter Bergman and I'm one-quarter of The Firesign Theatre. And when I have those two things together, in harmony, one feeds off the other. --Peter Bergman (A very Floral Signature) 1.1.2) A Forward Into the Past History Another excerpt from the "Big Book of Plays": Mark Time's True Chronology of The Firesign Theatre --------------------------------------------------- 1966: July 24 -- The first broadcast of Radio Free Oz over KPFK-FM (*) (Peter and various collaborators are on the air five nights a week until March). November 17 -- The Firesign Theatre's first performance, "The Oz Film Festival," a three-hour improvisation on Radio Free Oz. December -- Peter, David, and Phil and Annalee Austin attend the Soyal Ceremony in Hopiland. (Phil P. is On Tour in Florida). 1967: March -- The first broadcast of a four-hour radio documentary on the American Indian, written and produced by Peter, David, and Phil A., followed by a weekend Colloquium, followed by the first Love-In, organized by Radio Free Oz, which moved to KRLA (AM) the same day (March 26). April-May -- After Phil Proctor's return from the East, The Firesign Theatre writes and records Waiting For The Electrician or Someone Like Him. April 29 -- The Firesign Theatre performs their Bulgarian play called "Waiting for the Electrician" at a UCLA Experimental Arts Festival. June-July -- David and Phil P. conduct Oz during Peter's return trip to Turkey. September 14 -- Peter and David begin broadcasting Oz for three hours every Sunday night from a Studio city club called The Magic Mushroom. October 29 -- Bridey Murphy Eve on Oz begins a series of weekly radio plays written and performed live by the FT at the Mushroom. Among the scripts are "Exorcism in Your Daily Life," "The Last Tunnel To Fresno," "20 Years Behind The Whale," "The Giant Rat of Sumatra," "The Sword and the Stoned," "Sesame Mucho," "The Armenian's Paw," and "Tile it Like It Is." December 9 -- The Firesign Theatre performs its first stage piece, "Freak For A Week," for a KPFK benefit at the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium. 1968: *(All locations in Los Angeles, unless otherwise mentioned) ###-More to Follow (really ! I promise!). Lynn Gustafson writes: In the mid-sixties the Renaissance Pleasure Faire in So.Cal. was a fund raiser for KPFK. They did live broadcasts from the fairesite. The Flying Karamazov Brothers were also working at the faire at that time. When the Living History Centre was first incorporated, their motto was "Forward Into the Past." LHC and RPF are still around, in our 31st year Some of the guys still show up occasionally. 1.1.3) The newsgroups and fan clubs There are two newsgroups: alt.fan.firesign-theatre, and alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre. The first group causes some news servers problems due to its name having >14 chars. Most people seem to be gravitating towards the "comedy" group these days. For the rest of this document, "alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre" will assume to refer to both of these groups. As near as anyone can figure, alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre is composed of a bunch of the old guard, sitting around and exchanging FT lines with each other ("What about my pickle?" "You're lucky you still have your brown paper bag, small-change!"), together with neophytes who might have just run across the newsgroup, discussions about where the FT members are now, reunion announcements, the deep philosophical and metaphysical implications of Bozos, and other such musings. The Firesign Theatre used to have a fan newsletter called, "It's just this little Chromium Switch, Here!", but is now defunct. See the FAQ file, item 2.5, for addresses of newsletters for fans. 1.2) Published Works 1.2.1) Radio/TV/Stage production There is/was a new special on PBS radio: M. Packer writes: 1. "The Firesign Theatre -- Back From The Shadows Again" hosted by Steve Allen was "officially" announced to Public Radio affiliates today. There is no current scheduled time for the program, and its feed will be based on the number of stations interested in it. The special consists of three one-hour modules, each of which is self-contained and can be carried seperately. Check with Public Radio stations in your area to see if they plan to air this three part special on the Firesign Theatre. David Ossman's 1988 remake of "War of the Worlds": Both versions, 1938 and 1988, are available on cassette, as a package, for $14.95, from: The Mind's Eye P.O. Box 1060 Petaluma, California 94953 Tel: 1-800-227-2020 FAX: 1.415-883-1849 In addition to old-time radio, The Mind's Eye carries lots of other good stuff from BBC radio (including "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy") to the up-to-date "Bradbury 13." The following are the entries from the complete movie/TV credit databases (portions of which are on refuge.colorado.edu) for the FT members: All 4 wrote the 1971 movie Zachariah (along with Joe Massot). Details from David Miller: The "original" FST movie is 1971's (?) _Zachariah_. That is, they wrote the first version and have small parts in it, but it was rewritten by its producers, and shows only occasional FST touches. They now refer to it in very unkind terms, and boy does it look dated--wild west rock 'n roll starring an unbelievably young Don Johnson. The movie "foundered on the glistening rocks of cocaine...and the breakup of MGM". It's still available from Playhouse Video, 39000 Seven Mile Road, Livonia, MI 48152. It turns up sometimes *real* late at night..." Acting credits for Peter Bergman: Fantasies (1980) (TV) Money, Power, Murder (1989) (TV) [Brant] Woman on the Ledge (1993) (TV) [Bob] "All My Children" (????) Acting credits for Phil Proctor: Lobster Man from Mars (1990) Bad Attitudes (1991) (TV) Tunnel Vision (70's?) A Safe Place (1971) Diana Rigg Show -- played fashion designer "Mr. Vincent" who was Diana Rigg's boss. ...often appears on TV Other: Americathon (writing credits for Proctor & Bergman) Thomas M. Niccum writes of yet another (dare we call it?) credit: In about 1976 I was present at a lunch with a few friends and Phil Proctor was there - my friend was a reporter for the U of Minnesota Daily, and had volunteered to do a piece on Proctor and Bergman who were in town to open for (get ready) Sha Na Na (ook). Anyway, he told us that he had met up with the Starland Vocal Band (who had a hit entitled "Afternoon Delight" if I'm not mistaken). The band had been offered a summer replacement show, and Proctor and Bergman had volunteered to write. Thus forewarned, I looked for it the next year, and managed to catch one episode. It was pretty normal "variety" show type TV. I'm pretty sure they did the "Shoplifters" supermarket commercial, which shows up in their Eat or be Eaten CD and Video. 1.2.2) Vinyl --------------- Firesign Theatre: ----------------- 1968 - Waiting for the Electrician or Someone like him Columbia CS 9518 1969 - How Can you be in two places at once, when you're not anywhere at all? Columbia CS 9884 1970 - Don't Crush that Dwarf, hand me the pliers: Columbia C 30102 1971 - I think we're all Bozos on this bus: Columbia C 30737 1972 - Dear Friends: Columbia PG 31099 1972 - Not Insane or Anything You Want To: Columbia KC 31585 1974 - Everything you know is Wrong!: Columbia KC 33141 1974 - The Tale of the Giant Rat of Sumatra: Columbia C 32730 1975 - In the next world you're on your own: Columbia PC-33475 1976 - Forward into the Past: Columbia PG-34391 1977 - Just Folks ... A Firesign Chat: Butterfly FLY 001 1979 - Fighting Clowns: Rhino (###-same as Carter/Reagan ?) Lawyer's Hospital 1985 - Eat or be eaten (PB,PP,PA) ???? - Shakespeare's Lost Comedie (Rhino Records) Quadrophonic Albums: -------------------- 1971 - I think we're all Bozos on this bus: Columbia CQ 30737 1974 - Everything you know is Wrong!: Columbia KC? 33141 Proctor & Bergman : ------------------- ???? - TV OR NOT TV: Columbia KC-32199 1975 - What this Country Needs: Columbia PC-33687 1978 - The Comedy of Proctor and Bergman / Give Us A Break: Mercury SRM-3719 Solo/Subgroup Albums: --------------------- 1974 - Roller Maidens from outer Space: Epic (Phil Austin) ???? - The Three Faces of Al (PB,PP,DO) 1973 - How Time Flys: Columbia C 32411 -- David Ossman 1979 - Nick Danger and the Case of the Missing Shoe (Rhino - RNEP506) Soundtrack: ----------- A Head Of His Time (Zachariah Soundtrack) See For Miles Records, Ltd. SEE 91 (British) Bootleg: -------- According to the Hot Wacks Press Book XV (probably the most complete bootleg guide around), there is one FST bootleg LP. Called _Firesign World_, it was released by Wizardo Records, WRMB 512, and consisted of, on side one, "Firesign World", and "Thanksgiving Or Pass The Indian Please" on the other side. The only other info given is that the recording is supposed to be in excellent stereo and is a live recording. Syndicated Radio Pressings and other stuff: ------------------------------------------ Carl M Stone writes: An apparently promo-only 12" single was released by Polygram from the "Eat Or Be Eaten" LP in 1985. Titled _Bites from "EAT OR BE EATEN"_, it featured on side one, "National Toliet/Dylan At The Met/Shoplifters Market/Neighboorhood Survival Gunstore" (3:52) and "Art Snob/Tonto's First Cowboy Bank/Wimpy's Software/Kamikaze Recall" (4:06) on side two. In some copies of the _Nick Danger Case Of The Missing Shoe_ there came a flyer/order form for "two fabulous offers:" 1)_The Firesign Theatre Cassette Chronicles_, a six cassette series, delivered one every two months, begining in January of 1980, for the subscription price of $30. Is this the item listed in the FAQ as "Carter Reagan"? 2)A Nick Danger T-Shirt, "a suitable-period brown shirt with Bill Stout's Nick Danger drawing, as depicted on..'Nick Danger in the Case of the Missing Shoe'". It sold for the price of "$5.95, plus $1.05 postage and handling" (which conveniently comes out to $7.00), and was available in Small, Medium, Large and Extra Large. Howard Landman writes: In the booklet of the Mobile Fidelity CD of DEAR FRIENDS, it says that there was a 12 hour syndicated version released to radio stations (on 12 vinyl records, of which only 100 copies were pressed. John Leving writes: FYI, when Proctor and Bergman were at Yale, they did a lot of goofing around on WYBC-FM, the student radio station. There may still be old airchecks of theirs lying around on tape cartridges. Here's a list of of the "Dear Friends" syndication albums: Dear Friends Volume 01 "Live At The Ash Grove" Dear Friends Volume 02 "Power Is Trouble & Trouble's Not Funny!" Dear Friends Volume 03 "... I Could Always Shoot Him With A Camera" Dear Friends Volume 04 "Somebody Put A Mickey In The Ground Zero!" Dear Friends Volume 05 "All We Have To Fear Is Me" Dear Friends Volume 06 "Deputy Dan Will Find Us No Matter Where We Go" Dear Friends Volume 07 "Was There A Cow On the Moon?" Dear Friends Volume 08 "Being On Radio Is More Fun Than Watching T.V." Dear Friends Volume 09 "Dr. Memory's Laff-A-While News" Dear Friends Volume 10 "All Nite Images" Dear Friends Volume 11 "Welcome To Microorganism State Park" Dear Friends Volume 12 "Is This the Machine That Registers No 'n' Yes?" Cassette versions of these are available through Sparks Media, mentioned elsewhere in this file. 1.2.3) Video ---------------- 1970 - Zachariah (co-written by TFT) 92 mins. 1972 - Martian Space Party (TFT, Campoon workers) 27 mins. 1973 - Love is Hard to Get (Bergman) 26 mins. 1976 - Six Dreams (PB [exec. producer], PP) 13 mins. 1976 - Tunnelvision (featuring PP) 70 mins. 1978 - Everything You Know Is Wrong 40 mins. 1978 - TV Or Not TV (Proctor & Bergman) 33 mins. 1979 - J-Men Forever (TFT featuring P&B) 75 mins. 1979 - The Madhouse of Dr. Fear (TFT) 60 mins. 1983 - Nick Danger... Missing Yolk 60 mins. Originally an Interactive Video (SelectaVision). 1985 - Eat or Be Eaten (A,B,P) 30 mins. 1985 - Hot Shorts (A,B,P) 73 mins. Many of these can still be had; see the FAQ file (item 2.5): 1.2.4) Books --------------- 1.2.4.1 Big book of plays: Type of Material: Book LC Call Number: PN6120.R2 F47 Author: Firesign Theatre (Performing group) Title: The Firesign Theatre's big book of plays. Publication Info: [San Francisco] Straight Arrow Books [1972] Phys. Description: 143 p. illus. 26 cm. Subjects: Radio plays, American. Other Names: Big book of plays. LC Card Number: 72079024 //r82 ISBN: 0-87932-028-1 0-87932-027-3 (pbk) There are at least two different versions of "The Firesign Theatre's Big Book of Plays". The first printing (so marked) has a red cover, with white and gold outlining the shape of an old-time radio; the knobs are a little kid and a man in a sad-face mask, and has two scantily clad women in silhouette, with a cover price of $4.00. The other version has a yellow border, an old-time radio at the top of the page segues into a window at the bottom, through which a road runs. A guy is waving through the window at four guys on the other side, who are playing leap frog. The cover price is $5.95. The first printing makes reference to a hardbound edition. The SBN for the case bound in my book says 0/87932/028/1, whereas the paperbound is 0/87932/027/3. 1.2.4.2 Big mystery joke book: Type of Material: Book LC Call Number: PN6120.R2 F48 1974 Author: Firesign Theatre (Performing group) Generic Title: Big mystery joke book Title: The Firesign Theatre's Big mystery joke book. Publication Info: San Francisco : Straight Arrow Books;[New York]: distributed by Simon and Schuster, [1974] Phys. Description: 150 p. : ill. ; 26 cm. Notes: Money song.--An invocation from the Book of Punter.--The mysterious history of the Firesign Theatre.--The tale of the giant rat of Sumatra.--The further adventures of Nick Danger, third eye.--Temporarily Humboldt County.--The adventures of Mark Time.--Hundred Dollar Ben.--Young Guy, motor detective.--The year of the rat.--Gramps' world.--Rubbergon dumn Toyko.--Le trente-huit cunegonde.--The dream play. Subjects: Radio plays, American. Other Names: Big mystery joke book. LC Card Number: 74076601 //r832 ISBN: 0-87932-078-8 : $5.95 1.2.4.3 The Bozobook ------------ Source: Yale Catalog: ----------------------------------------------------------------- Author: Firesign Theatre (Performing group) Title: Bozobook : or, clam calendar & book of ours : excerpts from the notebooks of the Firesign Theatre, volume '71. Published: Isla Vista, Calif. : Turkey Press, 1981. Description: [48] p. : ill. ; 23 cm. Notes: Paper wrappers. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- LOCATION: CALL NUMBER: STATUS: SML, Stacks, LC PS3556 I73 B6 Joe LoCicero writes further: So how many people have ever heard of the Bozobook? I have it sitting right here in front of me... and it says: 400 copies were letterpressed in the Spring of 1981 from a variety of hand-set types and found art. Twenty-six copies have been hardbound, lettered A-Z, and signed by The Fire- sign Theatre. Design, printing, and binding by Harry and Sandra Reese at TURKEY PRESS, 6746 SUENO ROAD, ISLA VISTA, CA 93317. This project was supported, in part, by a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts, our federal agency, in Washington, D.C. It also says: Material in this book is from THE NOTEBOOKS OF THE FIRESIGN THEATRE, August 1970-August 1971, the original scripts and research for the album, I Think We're All Bozos On This Bus. It is presented as part of The Firesign Theatre's 15th Birth- day Celebration, and on the 10th anniversary of the release of the "Bozos" album. Edited for The Firesign Theatre by David Ossman, in asso- ciation with Harry Reese and Turkey Press, March 1981. Your 'OUR 12 CENTERFOLD' could be a page from the produc- tion script of "Bozos," xeroxed for this edition, or an origi- nal mimeographed page from one of several version of the script to the ABC Films production of Zachariah by Joe Mas- sot and The Firesign Theatre. 1.2.4.4 The apoca[l]ypse papers Andrey Yeatts found this at the Univ. of Arizona: CALL # PZ2001.F523 A6 LOCATIONS Special Coll AUTHOR Firesign Theatre (Performing Group) TITLE The apoca[l]ypse papers : a fiction. SERIES Famous science fiction chapbook series ; v. 1. PUBLISHER Topeka, Kan. : Apocalypse Press, 1976. SUBJECTS Science fiction. NOTE "This is book no. 267 in a series of 500 unsigned copies." Includes bibliographical references. DESCRIPTION [32] p. : ill. ; 22 cm. -- 1.2.4.5 Other Works by David Ossman Source: Univ. Calif. Berkeley (GLADYS) Library: Title List ---------- 1. The day-book of the city / David Ossman. <1982> 2. Hopi set : 12 poems for chance reading / David Ossman. <1985> 3. The Moon-sign book : Los Angeles/San Juan / David Ossman. <1984> 4. The Rainbow Cafe, Hollywood, 1967 / David Ossman. <1982> 5. The sullen art; interviews by David Ossman with modern American poets. <1963> 6. The sullen art; interviews by David Ossman with modern American poets. <1963> 7. Third mesa. <198-> 1. Ossman, David. The day-book of the city / David Ossman. [Isla Vista, CA] : Turkey Press, 1982. Bancroft pPS3565.S7.D3 Non-circulating; may be used only in The Bancroft Library. 2. Ossman, David. Hopi set : 12 poems for chance reading / David Ossman. [Isla Vista, Calif. : Turkey Press] c1985. Bancroft pPS3565.S77.H67 1985 Non-circulating; may be used only in The Bancroft Library. 3. Ossman, David. The Moon-sign book : Los Angeles/San Juan / David Ossman. Isla Vista, CA : Turkey Press, 1984. Bancroft pPS3565.S77.M66 1984 Non-circulating; may be used only in The Bancroft Library. Note: Blue paper wrappers. 4. Ossman, David. The Rainbow Cafe, Hollywood, 1967 / David Ossman. [s.l.] : Turkey Press, 1982. Bancroft pPS3565.S77.R39 Non-circulating; may be used only in The Bancroft Library. 5. Ossman, David. The sullen art; interviews by David Ossman with modern American poets. New York, Corinth Books, 1963. Moffitt PS324.O8 Main Stack 905 O84 sul 6. Ossman, David. The sullen art; interviews by David Ossman with modern American poets. New York, Corinth Books, 1963. Bancroft A6.O75S9 1963 Non-circulating; may be used only in The Bancroft Library. Note: Black cloth; dust jacket. Note: Tram Combs collection STORAGE #: W 74 821 7. Ossman, David. Third mesa. [Isla Vista, CA : Turkey Press, 198-?] Bancroft pffPS3565.S77.T55 1980z Non-circulating; may be used only in The Bancroft Library. Note: Signed copy. 1.2.5) CD's The following FT albums are currently available on CD: Mobile Fidelity: ---------------- Bozos (MFCD 785) Don't Crush That Dwarf (MFCD 880) Waiting for the Electrician (MFCD ???) How Can you be in two places at once... (MFCD 834) Dear Friends (MFCD 758); Fighting Clowns (MFCD 748); Rhino ------ The Three Faces Of Al (out of print). Mercury (Columbia): ------------------------------------- Shoes for Industry! (double CD Collection) (C2K 52736) Eat or Be Eaten (Mercury 826 452-2 M-1; released 1986). Regarding this CD, Dave Lucas informs us that more than just sound is found on this CD: I read in a technical book (sorry, can't remember which) that 'Eat Or Be Eaten' was the first CD+G disc published in the US. [actually, this was some time ago, and the book said that it was the *only* CD+G disc published in the US] So I popped it in a CDTV box, and sure enough... The screen gets refreshed every 2-3 seconds, and it does add a dimension to the fun. Upcoming: --------- A new CD based on the upcoming "Illusion of Unity Tour" may be in the works. 1.2.6) Cassettes --------------------- Firesign Theatre Cassette Chronicles, six cassette tapes from 1980. Sparks Media has many cassette versions of FT albums, including the "Dear Friends" 12-album set, and the following: _ Let's Eat Volume 01 "Hey, Banana Nose!" _ Let's Eat Volume 02 "Radio Prison In Peace & War" _ Let's Eat Volume 03 "The Dr. Beanbag Show" _ Let's Eat Volume 04 "The Filipino Cheese-Ball War" _ Let's Eat Volume 05 "The New China Revue" _ Let's Eat Volume 06 "The Underworld Olympics" _ Let's Eat Volume 07 "X-mas in Rat Land" _ Let's Eat Volume 08 "New Years In Mixville" _ Let's Eat Volume 09 "The Hilario Spacepipe Show" _ Let's Eat Volume 10 "Assorted Cold Cuts" See also the FAQ for sources. 1.2.7) LD'S The following FT movies were printed on LaserDisk: Hot Shorts (any more?) 1.3) References ---------------- 1.3.1) Interviews, by interviewer David Reitman, Rock Magazine Tony Vellela, Go Magazine Michael Ross, Creme Ernest Leogrand, N.Y. Daily News John Carpenter L.A. Free Press -- San Diego Door Richard Hill, Rolling Stone Terry Gross "Fresh Air" Radio Show Interview, 17 Nov, 1993 (inquire at FRESHAIR@HSLC.ORG) New York Times, May 3 1993: a review of the '93 Seattle reunion show LA Times, Nov 20. 1993: Calendar Section: Interview w/ FT. 1.3.2) Literary References/Background [### This is just a start. Other ref's appreciated!] Books: Discography: THE ROLLING STONE RECORD GUIDE, ed. D.Marsh and J.Swenson Random House/Rolling Stone Press, 1979, ISBN 0-394-73535-8 and THE NEW ROLLING STONE RECORD GUIDE, ed. D.Marsh and J.Swenson Random House/Rolling Stone Press, 1983, ISBN 0-394-72107-1 Samuel Becket: Waiting for Godot -- "Waiting for the Electrician" Krapp's Last Tape -- "Dont Crush that Dwarf" James Joyce: Ulysses -- Molly Bloom's Soliloquy in {TWO PLACES} Isaac Asimov: I, Robot -- Robot's Rules of Order in {BOZOS} William Shakespeare: Twelfth Night As You Like it William S. Boroughs: The Naked Lunch -- "Returned for Regrooving" The Bible, Book of Revelations -- "Roller Maidens from Outer Space" Book of the Hopi, (Published 1963) Hopi/Moqui Indian Folklore & Mythology -- "Temporarily Humboldt County" Ghost Dance religion -- James Mooney, "The Ghost Dance Religion and the Sioux Uprising of 1890" (Univ. of Chicago). Referred to in {ITNWYOYO}, and mentioned elsewhere in the canon. TOPS-10 SAILON LISP Programmer's Manual -- "Dr. Memory" "If At All Possible, Involve A Cow": A history of college pranks. Documents the USC mascot in the 40's, a dog by the name of George Leroy {TIREBITER} (see the Lexicon)! Movies: "The World of Tomorrow" An excellent documentary on the 1939 World's Fair, one of the motivations for the "Future Fair" on {BOZOS}. With Jason Robarts as the Narrator. 1.3.3) Other References Albums with FT references: Antelope Freeway (Howard Roberts, homage) Impulse AS-9207 Zachariah (movie soundtrack) ABC ABCS-OC-13 25 Years of Recorded Comedy Warner Bros. 3BX 3131 (Three-record set, includes High School Madness, 6:42) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Area # 2120 news.answers 05-25-94 13:50 Message # 12943 From : NDR@TAZBOY.JPL.NASA.GOV To : ALL Subj : Firesign Theatre: Freque ÿ@SUBJECT:Firesign Theatre: Frequently Asked Questions ÿ@PACKOUT:05-26-94 Message-ID: Newsgroups: alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre,alt.fan.firesign-theatre,alt.answers news.answers Organization: Jet Propulsion Labs Archive-name: firesign-theatre/faq Last-modified: 1994/4/29 Version: 1.13 About This Archive ------------------ This archive is posted monthly to alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre, alt.fan.firesign-theatre, alt.answers, and news.answers. It is also available via anonymous ftp to rtfm.mit.edu in the directory /pub/usenet/alt.answers/firesign-theatre/*, or by sending e-mail to mail-server@rtfm.mit.edu with the message "send usenet/alt.answers/firesign-theatre/*". Include the line "help" in the message for more information on the server. Changes: New: 1. Sources for CD's, etc. Entry (2.5). Side 2) Firesign Theatre: Frequently Asked questions ===================================================== Contents: 2.-1) Unanswered Questions 2.0) I've just Discovered the F.T! How should I get started? 2.1) How Can I Get Copies of these FAQs? 2.2) How can I contact the NewsGroup with E-mail? 2.3) Who Did Which Roles? 2.4) Any Reunions going on ? 2.5) Where can I get F.T. (Videos, CD's ,etc...) 2.6) Where are they now ? 2.7) Common FT Phrases 2.8) Who is Doctor Memory? 2.9) Is it "Back T0 the Shadows" or "..FROM the Shadows" ? 2.10) FT Questions posed to the Usenet Oracle 2.-1) Unanswered Questions billj@terra.osrhe.edu (Bill Johnson) writes, What was the influence for the "Chinese Fireworks" in Bozo's? 2.0) I've just Discovered the F.T! How should I get started? "Yeah, it sure is strange to read where people would or have started. You start at the very beginning, a very good place to start. When you learn to read you learn a-b-c, when you learn to sing you learn Toad Away...." -- John Scialli The four classic albums are: Waiting For the {Electrician} or Somebody Like Him. How Can You Be in {Two Places} at Once, When You're Not Anywhere At All? Dont Crush that {DWARF}, Hand Me the Pliers I Think We're All {BOZO}'s On This Bus These albums are high on most bozos lists, and are available on CD; See the "Intro" file for sources. The four albums have the logical order listed above, as they all have been conceived as a single episodic journey of an {EVERYMAN}, whose name changes from album to album. See the {EVERYMAN} entry in the Lexicon. Many people also recommend David Ossman's "How Time Flys", as well as "Everything You Know is Wrong". The "Dear Friends" CD's contain transcripts from their early live radio work at KPFK, Radio Free Oz (here's where they sing "Toad Away"). I love the Chinchilla Show on this album, as well as "Freezing Mr. Foster" The "Shoes for Industry" is a 2-CD set containing little snippets from their most popular albums, but for many these excerpts are all teasers with none of the depth of listening to the complete albums. See item 2.5 for commercial sources of Firesign theatre CD's videos, etc. 2.1) How Can I Get Copies of this FAQ? There are many paths: Via UseNet: Posted monthly to alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre, alt.fan.firesign-theatre, alt.answers, and news.answers. If your local news-server does not have a.c.f-t, campaign with your sysop to get it. If s/he's still reluctant, try using the NNTP feed at news.fu-berlin.de, (port 119) which supports the F.T. newsgroup very well. Via FTP: As mentioned in the top of this file, you may access the files via anonymous ftp to rtfm.mit.edu, in the directory /pub/usenet/alt.answers/firesign-theatre, there are four files called intro, faq, lyrics and lexicon. Via E-MAIL: The host rtfm.mit.edu runs a mail-server for those without ftp. Send e-mail to mail-server@rtfm.mit.edu, with the message: send usenet/alt.answers/firesign-theatre/* For more information on this server also add the line "help". Via WWW (World-Wide Web): Use the following URL's: file://rtfm.mit.edu/pub/usenet/alt.answers/firesign-theatre/intro file://rtfm.mit.edu/pub/usenet/alt.answers/firesign-theatre/faq file://rtfm.mit.edu/pub/usenet/alt.answers/firesign-theatre/lyrics file://rtfm.mit.edu/pub/usenet/alt.answers/firesign-theatre/lexicon In the near future an HTML-format Hypertext version of these files may also become available. 2.2) How can I contact the NewsGroup with E-mail? POSTING: -------- There is a general service for posting notes to the UseNet newsgroups. To post to alt.comedy.firesgn-theatre, for example, send your message to alt-comedy-firesgn-thtre@cs.utexas.edu Note that the dots in the newsgroup name have been changed to hyphens! The "Internet Services List" contains dozens of other nifty things you can do with just e-mail access, and may be obtained by sending e-mail to mail-server@rtfm.mit.edu, with the message: send usenet/news.answers/internet-services/* READING: -------- In order to READ other people's postings, you may now use the e-mail gopher gateway to the UseNet newsgroup: To use it send e-mail to gopher@calvin.edu with the body of the message reading one of the following sets of four lines (try the first set first): Type=1 Path=nntp ls alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre Port=71 Host=gopher.uwyo.edu Type=1 Path=nntp ls alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre Port=4320 Host=sdacs.ucsd.edu Type=1 Path=news group alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre Port=4320 Host=saturn.wwc.edu NOTE: Be sure this is *EXACTLY* what you enter; do not put any spaces around the "=" sign, and make "Type=1" The first line of your message. You will receive back an e-mail response with a list of all of the current postings on alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre. If you then mail this file back to gopher@calvin.edu it will mail you each of the articles in a separate posting. If you only want to receive a few of the articles, put an "X" in the file before the ones that you want, and send the modified file back. For more information on the e-mail gopher server, send the message "help" to gopher@calvin.edu. The server gomail@myc.ncc.go.jp also works as a gopher-mail server if calvin seems grumpy (not enough chocolate-frosted sugar-bombs, no doubt :-). BTW, the way that we found these was by using an online list compiled containing all public Telnet, NNTP and Gopher gateways to USENET. To get this list, and you have "finger", just finger the account lesikar@tigger.stcloud.msus.edu. If you don't have finger, you can send e-mail to b.liddicott@ic.ac.uk, with the subject line reading "#finger lesikar@tigger.stcloud.msus.edu" (be sure to include that #-sign). Not all of these gopher gateways support our favorite newsgroup, so look around... Someday there may be a direct e-mail gateway to archived postings, etc but until then this seems to be the most effective way. 2.3) Who Did Which Roles? This stuff is excerpted from the BBOP book (more to follow): LIEUTENANT BRADSHAW'S SECRET IDENTITY ROSTER: --------------------------------------------- IN DON'T CRUSH THAT DWARF, HAND ME THE PLIERS: ---------------------------------------------- David Ossman Phil Austin Philip Proctor Peter Bergman ------------ ------------- -------------- ------------- George Tirebiter Janitor,Rev.X Pastor Rod Flash Leroy, Arnie News Announcer Rev. Mouse Felix Papparazzi Bohunk,Newscaster Kathy Koffee Surrogate Gen'l K'en, Doc, Mom, Bob Baseline, Peorgie, Lt. Klein, Jerry Yarrow Principal Poop, Warden, Porcelin, Tirebiter, Mrs. Staff Announcer, Pico,Bottles,Sailor Mudhead, Joe Arlene Yukamoto, Dad,Alvarado, Bill,Private, Beets, Dr. Math, Cop, Danny Dollar Hugh, Another Silverberg, Patty, Sgt. Private, Father, Loudspkr Voice, Mudheadski, Son, Commercial Sgt. Schvincter, Madge, Commercial Voice-over, Sarge, Bailiff,Mrs Announcer. Darlene,Bob Hind, Caroline Presky, Bob, Major, General Klein, Announcer 13. Judge Poop, Girl Announcer. ALSO: Annalee (Austin) as the Operator. 2.4) Any Reunions going on ? 2.3.1) Upcoming Events Based on the success of the 93 Reunion Tour another tour is now being planned for 94! Stay Tuned to Elaynes Mailings, "Hot Flashes", and the newsgroups for further instructions! A Reunion Tour came through the US the Fall of 93.See below for reviews of that tour 2.3.2) Reviews of Previous Tours 2.3.2.1 The 25th Anniversary Tour - Seattle,'93 Mark Armantrout writes: About a year ago, something called "Still Waiting for the Electrician" was broadcast out West somewhere, I think Seattle. It contained all of "Waiting for the Electrician ..." and loads of interviews with the Firesign guys, interviewed by David Ossman, I think. The whole broadcast was almost two hours long. Anyway, this tape was broadcast for the second time ever here in B'ton last Sunday night (April 25, 1993) on WFHB, 6-8pm. And I taped it.:) They talk all about how they met, how they wrote, what they were 'into' at the time of Electrician, and about the Summer of Love and hippie stuff in general. And there are a couple skits/announcements that I haven't heard anywhere else. It's really fun to listen to, because the interviews fit in real well with the album, and they integrate the two well. Event two: That same weekend, Richard Fish was out in Seattle attending the Firesign Theatre's 25th anniversary reunion performance. 25th anniversary meaning 25 years since they first met and started working together, or 25 years since they released Electrician. Richard left a tape-recorded phone call with our station, which was played right after the broadcast of "Still Waiting..." Richard had only great things to say about the performance, that it was a lot of old material from all the albums updated a little with references to current events/people, some new material. The audience, he said, joined in on about half the words. Everyone loved it. Richard said that Tom Clancy and Harry Anderson were both there, and are both big FT fans. Michael Cummings writes: I was fortunate enough to be at their 25th reunion show at the Paramount Theatre in Seattle. After the show, Phil Austin said something to the effect, "It's been 8 years since we were all on stage together and this is it." ... They did all old material, with some nice recent news references. For example, during the Nick Danger bit: Lt. Bradshaw (wielding a stick): I'll KING you with this, Rodney! Nick Danger: You're a riot. For a review of the reunion show, see New York Times, May 3 1993. 2.3.2.2 The 25th Anniversary Tour - Fall '93 There was a Reunion Tour of the FT in the Fall of 1993. This was formally announced within the Newsgroup by the first official posting by Peter Bergman, himself: From: ECZ5ESG@MVS.OAC.UCLA.EDU (Peter Bergman) Newsgroups: alt.fan.firesign-theatre Subject: New Firesign Tour Dates Date: Fri, 22 Oct 1993 21:32 Organization: UCLA Microcomputer Support Office Lines: 8 Sender: MVS NNTP News Reader Message-ID: <19931022213251ECZ5ESG@MVS.OAC.UCLA.EDU> Reply-To: ecz5esg@mvs.oac.ucla.edu NNTP-Posting-Host: mvs.oac.ucla.edu HELLO, BOZOS. HERE ARE THE NEW DATES FOR THE FIRESIGN'S 25TH ANNIVERSAR TOUR. DENVER, OCTOBER 28TH; CHICAGO, OCTOBER 30TH; AMHERST, NOVEMBER5TH BOSTON, NOVEMBER 6TH; PHILDELPHIA, NOVEMBER 11TH; WASHINGTON, D.C., NOVEMBER 12TH; NEW YORK CITY, NOVEMBER 13TH; BERKELEY, NOVEMBER 20TH; LOS ANGELES, NOVEMBER 21ST. PUT DOWN THAT PICKLE AND SIGN IT MUDHEAD. PETER BERGMAN C/O ESTHER GRASSIAN (###-"He says he can shout; don't hear you" :-) The general schedule consisted of: Act I Waiting for the Electrician ... The Further Adventures of Nick Danger How Can You Be In Two Places at Once ... Act II I Think We're All Bozos On This Bus Don't Crush That Dwarf ... Encore Newspaper Reviews: ----------------- NY Times review 11/16/93 Boston Herald Preview (11/2/93) and review (11/8/93) Boston Globe Preview (11/3/93) Here are some personal reviews: ------------------------------ 72672.2714@CompuServe.COM (Elayne & Steve Chaput) Writes: Just got back from a party with The Firesign Theatre, and boy are my brains tired! David and Phil P., especially, couldn't have been nicer (they're the ones with whom I've been closest through the years), and both seemed to indicate this is Only The Beginning of the Firesign renaissance. Great news ahead for fans! The show at the Beacon Theatre was, as near as I could tell, COMPLETELY sold out. For the first (and last?) time on the tour, a Special Guest came on stage - the venerable John Goodman, long-time Firesign fan and improv comedy veteran himself (used to hang w/ the Citizen Kafka bunch on WBAI-FM here in NYC). I didn't have the nerve to go up to Mr. Goodman, either before the show, at intermission, or at the party afterwards (which also drew such notables as Larry Josephson, Phoebe Snow and Vaughn Meader), as I'm afraid I'm just Not Good At Things Like That. But Goodman's cameo in Nick Danger (as the guy who calls for the pizza to go and no anchovies) was a lot of fun to watch! They were ON, folks. They were so ON it was scary - it was like they'd never left! It was so joyful to see them, to be there with them and singing (and talking) along from time to time, and listening intently to the new stuff they wove into the old material, I have no words to describe how wonderful it was. Especially thrilling for me was meeting so many of you, and I thank you for coming over and introducing yourselves to me! We have so many new folks for the mailing list, I don't even want to think about it. Yes, folks, I am the Head of the Fireheads. I am the FireHead Head... FIRESIGN IS BACK! **** The editor (ndr@tazboy.jpl.nasa.gov) writes: As I was driving down through the Big Tujunga Canyon, heading towards the final tour stop at the Wiltern in Los Angeles, it began to rain. While listening to the monotonous stacatto of rain on my hood I realized that I had an opportunity to actually whip onto Mulholland drive, just like Nick Danger's old route to the Same Old Place... However, I didn't really want to go to Santa Barbara, so I continued on to the Wiltern. I turned on the radio and realized I was listening to KPFK, where the FT got their start...looks like I've already gone Forward Into the Past! I had spent the morning putting together a set of 4 nicely formatted copies of our newsgroup's Lexicon for the FT, and while standing around the outside of the theatre waiting for the doors to open, an Entertainment Tonight camera crew came by and gave me a chance to read off a few passages of the document. Just then Phil Proctor came by and so I gave him my four copies of the Lex and asked that he give them to the rest of the guys. They loved it. They let us in around 7:30, and we all milled about the Lobby, trading old stories, buying squeeky pickles, etc. Elayne, you will be pleased to hear that your FireSignal Newsletter sign-in sheets attracted a lot of attention. The show didn't get started until around 8:30; people were still outside buying tickets, and at 8:00 there were still a lot of spaces on the ground floor. By 8:30 the place looked pretty much packed, and everyone seemed really excited. When the lights started dimming the crash of noise of people cheering was deafening! The Firesign Theatre was home! Back from the Shadows again! You could tell that they were having a good time up there, and were going back and forth with the enthusiastically noisy (but not obnoxious) crowd. At one point when Nick Danger was fed a particularly potent lead-in line from Rocky Roccoco, Nick looked out at the crowd and yelled "Let me handle this one!" The shows were rather compressed (to allow for more audience participation, DO pointed out at one point), which may have confused some new-comers, but from the way people were joining in it didn't sound like there was nothing but long-time fans, all the way up into the balcony "cheap seats" (not so cheap, Phil A pointed out during the show, getting some cheers out of the raucous balcony people). The only weakness I spotted in the show was an occasionally muted sound system; however, people were quick to yell out "LOUDER", to which the FT guys would immediately respond. I particularly liked the updated versions of the {TWO PLACES} episodes, with the living highway signs and the bumper-stickers, e.g: "My kid passed the Metal Detectors in High School" "My other car is up my nose" and my favorite: "Are you Co-dependent? I can rescue you!" They made many local references ("As the fires lit up over the San Fernandino Valley...", "They won't come up into the hills without an armed escort-- my, Los Angeles has changed a lot!"), and it was clear that in many ways, they felt they had finally "come home" to where it all began. During the intermission, just prior to the start of the second half, they all came out dressed up as the all-vegetable cast and bounced around the audience for a while before running up on stage to start the opening Whisperin' Squash sequence to Bozos. The updated "Dwarf" and "Bozos" were great, and the final scenes with George/Porgie chasing after the ice cream truck was a very poignant finale to the show. Following two standing ovation curtain calls they came back to give a few talks at the end of their tour; DO pointed out that he started doing Porgie at the age of 35, and now that he is almost the age of the old George Tirebiter, he feels that he has just about "grown into" the role. He mentioned that when they recorded "Dwarf" his kids can be heard playing in several spots, and that now, at this show, he was proud to say that his grand-children are in the audience! They finished up with an encore rendition of "Back from the Shadows, again", with full-throated emotional support from the audience. I spent the next hour in line to get my copy of the Lexicon and the "Big Book of Plays" signed, and to make sure that Proctor gave the other guys the Lexicons. Imagine my thrill when Peter Bergman saw my copy of the Lexicon and said "So *You're* the one that produced these!". They thought they were great, and both Proctor and Bergman asked if I could help them out in getting online! (I'll be glad to! :-) 2.5) Where can I get F.T. (Videos, CD's ,etc...) See the "intro" for currently in-print CD's, available through Mobile Fidelity, and Mercury (Columbia). There are numerous private and commercial newsletters and video/CD sources for transcripts, CD's, latest news, etc: -------------------------------------- Hot Flashes/SPARKS Media -- Newsletter -------------------------------------- Michael Packer at West Michigan Public Broadcasting, runs a e-mail mailing-list called "Hot Flashes" of latest events, etc. He also maintains a large and growing archive of FT and related audio, video, etc. works, Including Harry Shearer, Ken Nordine, Stan Freberg, Goon Show, etc. His address is: Michael Packer PO Box 3540 Grand Rapids, MI 49501 Phone:(616) 363-8231 or (616) 771-6714. Fax: (616) 771-6625 SPARKS Media ------------ P.O. Box 3540 Grand Rapids, MI 49501-3540 Available from SPARKS Media: Running Title Year Time (mins.) Price An Autobozographical Evening w/ DO 1990 120 $17.95 ppd Radioplay (DO, M. Packer) 1990 30 $14.95 ppd Down Under Danger 1994 ?? ?? + $4.00 s&h Regarding this last entry, Michael Packer writes, The new Nick Danger adventure "Down Under Danger" nears completion and all should be ready for advance orders beginning April 15. Look for reviews and updated information in the next issue of FAlaFal. ---------------------- Harvard Square Records ---------------------- Harvard Square Records PO Box 381975 Cambridge, MA 02238 Harvard Square Records is offering Rhino out-of-print FT material on LP and cassette. They have on LP @ $10: Fighting Clowns Nick Danger Shakespeares Lost Comedie and on cassette @ $6: Fighting Clowns Lawyer's Hospital --------------------- Four-Alarm FIRESIGNal -- Newsletter & Archives --------------------- Elayne Wechsler-Chaput <72672.2714@CompuServe.COM> produces a tri-annual newsletter called "Four-Alarm FIRESIGNal" (or FAlaFal for short). The newsletter is free; the publisher does however welcome SASEs and monetary donations. She is also said to have an extensive personal collection of FT information, tapes, etc. Her address is: Four-Alarm FIRESIGnal c/o Elayne Wechsler-Chaput 1747 65th Street Brooklyn NY 11204 This is Elayne's archive (stay tuned for availability; some listings may no longer be available for duping): Firesign Theatre Video Archives The following material has been cleared by The Firesign Theatre to duplicate for subscribers of Four-Alarm FIRESIGNal on a non-profit basis. Please E-Mail back to me the portions of this list, or mail it back to me with your new (unopened) blank VHS tape(s) and sufficient money for return postage. Please let me know you want me to tape 2-hour or 6-hour speed. Approx. Run Time Title (Featured Players) Year (mins.) "All in the Family" episode excerpts (w/ PP) 1972-4 8 "Boggs at Noon" appearance (P&B) 1980? 7 Columbia Records ad (TFT) 1972 1 "Comedy Tonight" w/ Bill Boggs (PA, PB, PP) 1985 23 "Comics Only" w/ Paul Provenza (P&B) 1992? 7 "David Susskind Show" appearance (TFT) 1975 45 "Evening at the Improv" (TFT 1980 20 Gothamathon (Proctor & Bergman) 1976 45 Jack Poet VW commercials (TFT) 1968-9 10 Live at Santa Cruz (b&w) (TFT) 1975 62 "Match Game/H. Squares Hour" episode w/ PP 1983 35 "Midday with Bill Boggs" appearance (TFT) 1981 15 Santa Claus Lane parade (TFT) ?? 1/2 "The Six Shoes" (P,B&A) doing "Hey Reagan" on "Folk Music Reunion" show 1980 5 Trailers for movies (w/ PP) 1976, '81 1-1/2 The following items are no longer available for duping, as The Firesign Theatre plans to release quality copies of them shortly - stay tuned to FAlaFal for details! The Future Is Now (P&B) 1992 25 J-Men Forever (TFT featuring P&B) 1979 75 mins. Love is Hard to Get (Bergman) 1973 26 mins. The Madhouse of Dr. Fear (TFT) 1979 60 mins. Martian Space Party (TFT, Campoon workers) 1972 27 mins. Six Dreams (PB [exec. producer], PP) 1976-7 13 mins. TV Or Not TV (Proctor & Bergman) 1978 33 mins. -------------------------------------- MORE SUGAR (From the Firesign Theatre) -------------------------------------- MORE SUGAR (c/o Duplicating Plus) 611 Empire Mill Road Bloomington, IN 47401 1-800-934-1612 Title Year Running Time Price Everything You Know Is Wrong 1978 40 $19.95 ------------------------------------ Other Commercially-Available Videos: ------------------------------------ Elayne contributes the following list (sources after the list). Year/Run Company Title (and featured players) Time Order #(s) Price Eat or Be Eaten (A,B,P) 1985, 30 m. RCA/COL 0566V $19.95 RCA/COL 0566B $19.95 Hot Shorts (A,B,P) 1985, 73 m. RCA/COL 20435B $39.95 RCA/COL 60435V $39.95 PI-A 85144 LV (call) Nick Danger... Missing Yolk 1983, 60 m. PAV 527 $19.95 + (Austin, Proctor, Bergman) $4.25 s&h Americathon (written by P&B) 1979, 88 m. WHV 302B $19.98 WHV 302V $19.98 Tunnelvision (featuring PP) 1976, 70 m. MPI 1529B $59.95 MPI 1529V $59.95 Zachariah (co-written by TFT) 1970, 92 m. FOXV 8023B $19.98 FOXV 8023V $19.98 Key: V = VHS format B = Beta format LV = Laserdisc Video FOXV = Fox Video P.O. Box 900 Beverly Hills, CA 90213 213/236-1336 MPI = MPI Home Video 15825 Rob Roy Drive Oak Forest, IL 60452 800/322-0442 or 708/687-7881 PAV = Pacific Arts Video 11858 LaGrange Avenue Los Angeles, CA 90025 1-800-538-5856 PI-A = Pioneer Artists, Inc. c/o LDC America 2265 East 220th Street Long Beach, CA 90745 310/835-6177 RCA/COL = RCA/Columbia Pictures, now Columbia/TriStar Home Video 340 Riverside Drive Burbank, CA 91505 818/972-8193 WHV = Warner Home Video 4000 Warner Blvd. Burbank, CA 91522 818/854-6000 2.6) Where are they now ? The FT is currently active again, and just finished their "Illusion of Unity" Reunion Tour (see Reunion Tour, below). Phil Proctor can currently be heard doing character voices on Nickelodeon TV's *Rugrats*. He currently lives in Beverly Hills, CA. Peter Bergman and family are living in Santa Monica. Richard Fish writes: Peter Bergman checks the net regularly. He and Phil Proctor are doing The Digital Diner for live-on-the-satellite-radio. Try to convince your local station to downlink them, last week in May and last week in June, for free. Philip Austin has been living and acting in LA. David Ossman lives on Whidbey Island, Washington state, and does a radio show (Ossman's Audiola) at KSER in Everett, Washington, a public radio station. He and his wife produce radio plays, among other projects. He produced the (excellent) 50th anniversary production of the War of the Worlds for NPR in '88 and works with the Midwest Radio Theatre Workshop in Columbia Missouri every spring. See also the "Any Reunions?" question, and the "History" entry in the Introduction. 2.7) Common FT Phrases Here's a few common ones. See also the Lexicon! Ah, Canadian! And there's hamburger all over the highway in Mystic, Connecticut. Back to the Shadows, Again! Bear Whiz Beer: It's in the water! That's why it's yellow! "But... this is a bag of SHIT!"/ "But it's really GREAT shit, Mrs. Presky!" Dear Friends! Dr. Memory! Decision-Making Factor, Absent from Brain! Eat flaming death, fascist media pigs ! Everything you know is wrong! Forward into the Past! Happy Motoring on the Freeway, which is already in Progress! Hey! Corn! Now we can make whiskey/tortillas! He says he can shout; don't hear you! It's just this little chromium switch here! It's okay, they're speaking Chinese... I think we're all bozos on this bus! It's been snowing ever since the top of the page... Loostners Castor Oil Flakes: The All-Weather Breakfast! Mick! Me man't malk mere! (from "Nick Danger") More Sugar! Not Responsible! Park and Lock it! No anchovies? You've got the wrong man.I spell my name...Danger! Not to be torturing me! Oh, hey, he's no fun, he fell right over! Papoon for President! He's Not insane! Raw! Raw! Raw! Shadow Valley Condoms: If you lived here, you'd be home by now! So c'mon, kids -- get on it, and do it every day! So, How about that, Mr. Smarty-pants communist! Mr. College Professor! Mr. Beatnik! Mr. Hippie! Shoes for Industry! They think he is insane, yet, he outranks them/ His Option: Command! This is no movie, this is real! Well, speak of that anon....and on and on anon! Where there's smoke... There's WOOOORK! Wow, that's faster than anyone's ever been gone before! 2.8) Who is Doctor Memory? From "I think we're all bozos on this bus"; a computer doctor running the Future Faire, who said things like: "SYSTAT UPTIME 9:01 unhappy READ MAKNAM" and "hmmm..." Dr. Memory is based on an early "Eliza" type psychiatrist program that ran on a PDP-10. The consensus of the alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre newsgroup experts is that this program was written in (((((Lisp))))), and compiled using the SAILON LISP compiler for the DECSystem10, running TOPS-10 operating system. Tim Rentsch noted that one of these systems was installed at Caltech, and that a former classmate of his demonstrated the program for the FT . There is much evidence that David Ossman attended Claremont McKenna College (then "Claremont Men's College") in his younger days, at which there was one of the first implementations of the Doctor. Tim Brengle writes of the implementation: "CMC is one of the Claremont Colleges, along with Harvey Mudd College, Scripps College for Women, Pomona College, and Pitzer College. Five schools taking up a total of about one square mile. The hot new shared computing resource was a PDP-10 model KA-10 (with 256K bytes of *CORE* memory, and a swapping drum) running Tops-10. This was the same type of machine upon which Weisenbaum created the original DOCTOR program, one of whose scripts was called "Eliza". The program, at least the version I hacked on, was written in Stanford LISP 1.6--which did have a pretty awesome compiler..." The evidence for these detailed descriptions of Dr. Memory are based on the contents of Dr. Memory's commands and error statements: For example, "SYSTAT" was a TOPS-10 command that gave the system status, and "UPTIME" showed how long the system had been running. In addition, the hero (P.) of the story identifies himself as "worker" whenever he wanted to access the internals of the computerized fair; ("This is Worker Speaking, Hello"). It is highly likely that David Ossman saw DOCTOR on the Claremont PDP-10. The way that one started the program was to activate the LISP environment and then execute the form: (worker hello) Up until executing that function, you had to enclose everything in () just as one would expect from LISP. But the WORKER function changed the syntax tables for the parser so that a double carriage-return delimited your statements and told the DOCTOR that it was time to reply. But, there was a bug in DOCTOR, forgetting to take into account that dots have special meaning in LISP. Putting one in the wrong place confused the LISP function MAKNAM ("make name") which was trying to assemble characters into tokens. It returned its error message to the top-level reading function (READ). It's error message was, of course, "READ: UNHAPPY MAKNAM". DOCTOR programs still abound---for example, the Emacs editor, which is written in LISP, has a doctor function built into the distribution. Here's a sample session (which sounds just about as strange as Firesign Theatre's Dr. Memory: I am the psychotherapist. Please, describe your problems. Each time you are finished talking, type RET twice. > Hello, Dr. Memory. How do you do? What brings you to see me? > My name is Ken. Why do you say your name is ken? > Well, because it is. Can you elaborate on that? > My parents named me Ken. Tell me something about your family. > My father was a jelly doughnut. You seem to dwell on your family. > Hey, you asked. Is it because of your plans that you say hey I asked? .... Obviously, not a very bright program. So, how about THAT?!...Mr. Smarty-pants college professor? (razzz!). 2.9) Is it "Back T0 the Shadows" or "..FROM the Shadows" ? Dr. Memory says: Both (in this case); see the "Lyrics" section. Arguments regarding Firesign trivia(eg. is it "Mousers" or "Mausers"?) are often moot, as the shifting meanings and colorations of Firesign Theatricum blend and expand like the colors of the rainbow. To those who ask, "Did they actually say "X" or "Y", the appropriate answer is, "YES !", or, perhaps, "Mu." 2.10) FT Questions posed to the Usenet Oracle The Usenet Oracle has at varying times been confronted by questions that we all know and love over here in alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre. It it interesting to see how the all-ZOTing-one handles the questions. For more info on how to experience the Oracle, look in the newsgroup rec.humor.oracle (archives of Q&A available in /pub/oracle at cs.indiana.edu)! 2.8.1) Put down that Pickle! --- 562-10 ---------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: David Sewell The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > Put down that Pickle! And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } Sounds like you need some psychoanalysis. Since the oracle knows all } your problems anyway, let's do a little one-sided free association. } } Finals? Boredom? That last little niggling irritation that finally } put you over the edge? A life-long antipathy to brine and garlic? A } slow-festering wound caused by a spiny American cucumber? Pathological } fear of cured vegetables? Dread regarding phallic substitutes of a } threatening and, well, to be honest, humbling size? Passionate dislike } of green? Well-grounded fear of botulism or other spoilage? An ill- } remembered childhood memory of a green plush-toy monkey that went } berserk one night under your bed, that your parents *never* quite } believed, even as they soothed you back to sleep? A bad experience } with a green banana (or was it a plantain?), three tequila sunrises, } and a cheap hotel room in Tijuana? (or was it Nogales?). The } aftershocks of total sensory deprivation and/or hallucinogenic } experimentation some 25 years ago? A sudden sour taste in your mouth } as a result of guilt over some horrible deed you just committed? A } frightened reaction to storks that sound like Groucho Marx -- or is it } the strange resemblance of that last infant you saw to a crunchy vlasic } dill? The successful repression of heterosexual desire symbolized by } the Vlasic Stork (i.e. procreation) and its sublimation into sexual } hostility and fantasy and then the frightened reaction to these } returned fantasies? } } You owe the oracle a copy of Freud's "Jokes and their Relation to the } Unconscious" and a jar of half-sours, preferably spicy ones. ------------------------------ 2.8.2) Don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers! --- 529-09 ---------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: ewhac@shell.portal.com (Leo 'Bols Ewhac' Schwab) The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > Don't crush that dwarf! Hand me the pliers! And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } Goodman Feeblebrook, the 7th level Mage, removes the +5 Holy Pliers } of St. Christopher from the protective box with awe and reverence. } Wordlessly, he hands the artifact to Artemis Strongarm, the 9th level } Ranger. } "Hurry up!" shouts the Dwarf, Gimli Oakenleg, the party's 6th level } Fighter/Thief. His voice is muffled, due to the fact that his head is } currently being crushed between two rocks that are part of a } pressure-plate trap the Dwarf had been attempting to disarm. } "Okay," snaps Artemis. "I've never done this before, you know..." } "Just clamp those things over the release nut and turn it counter- } clockwise," the Dwarf returns. "And do it QUICKLY!" } "Right." Artemis clamps the pliers down on the nut and pushes on } the artifact with all of his 18(56) strength. Somewhere in the } distance, the sound of a plastic dodecahedron can be heard. With a } loud grunt, the Ranger successfully turns the screw through } one-and-a-half rotations. } "YOU DID IT!" exclaims Feeblebrook. "Boy Gimli, I'll bet you have } a headache the size of-- uh oh." Feeblebrook's premature celebration } is cut short by the sight that greets him when he turns to greet his } Dwarven companion. "Oh, YUCK! I guess we should have remembered that } clocks run the other way in the Dwarven Lands..." } Artemis grimly examines the remains of the Fighter/Thief, then } calmly turns to address the audience. "Is there a Cleric in the } house?" } } You owe the Oracle 500 gold pieces and a Ring of Water Breathing. 2.8.3) How do I make my voice do this? From Group #118 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > How do I make my voice do this? And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } Hmm... lets see... this is a tough one. } } Place your left hand against your throat, with your thumb } against your right jugular vein and your fingers up around } your left ear. Hold your nose between your right thumb and } middle finger. Put your index finger against your forehead } and your pinky finger between your front teeth. Purse your } lips. Bend over and place your head between your knees, or as } far down as you can reach (if you can reach, you are not doing } it right). Curl your upper lip as if you smelled something } bad. Anything you say in this position will come out like } this. } } You owe the oracle a self-portrait, in this position. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- 2.8.4) Why does the porridge bird lay his eggs in the air? No answers to this one have (yet) made it to the Oracularities. Many are called but few are chosen... 2.8.5) How can you be in two places at once (when you're not anywhere at all)? No answers to this one have (yet) made it to the Oracle archives; although we have the following related Q & A: --- 544-05 ----------------------------------------------------------- > Yeah, Mr. Oracle? This is Thom Dewey, from Dewey Stickem & Howe? > Yeah, yeah, that's us. Well, look, that dame? Her lawyer called > back,and he said that the blood test matched and they're going to make > a motion for a DNA sample. Yeah, I know, they can do that now. It's > pretty accurate, Mr. Oracle. I can fight the motion, but I don't know > if we'll win...are you SURE you were giving a speech in Missoula at the > time? The prosecution is going to try and pull that > omnipotent-beings-can-be-in-two-places-at-once stuff again, you know? > This is almost as bad as that little Southern number last year. I > know, I KNOW, I shouldn't have mentioned it. I'm sorry, Mr. Oracle. > Look, all she wants in child support; if we pay her off, it won't go to > court and Lisa will never know. Do you think we should cut a deal? And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } Thom, don't worry about it. I've looked into the matter, and, being an } omnipotent being, have rectified the situation. The DNA from me won't } match up. As a matter of fact, the only person whose DNA _will_ match } up is her lawyer. Funny how that works. Bring that up at the next } meeting. } } You owe the Oracle a judicial precedent for suing God, plus a way of } collecting damages. --- 544-09 ------------------------------------------------------------ > Yeah, Mr. Oracle? This is Thom Dewey, from Dewey Stickem & Howe? > Yeah, yeah, that's us. Well, look, that dame? Her lawyer called back, > and he said that the blood test matched and they're going to make a > motion for a DNA sample. Yeah, I know, they can do that now. It's > pretty accurate, Mr. Oracle. I can fight the motion, but I don't know > if we'll win...are you SURE you were giving a speech in Missoula at the > time? The prosecution is going to try and pull that > omnipotent-beings-can-be-in-two-places-at-once stuff again, you know? > This is almost as bad as that little Southern number last year. I > know, I KNOW, I shouldn't have mentioned it. I'm sorry, Mr. Oracle. > Look, all she wants in child support; if we pay her off, it won't go to > court and Lisa will never know. Do you think we should cut a deal? And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } The Oracle is a loving being, and it should be known to those who would } criticize my actions that, even though I am omnipotent, I have needs. } } The Oracle is a responsible being, for I know the wisdom of the } ancients says that responsibility for your actions is a part of being } great. } } The Oracle is also a generous being, and is, in fact, wealthy enough } to support numerous children without even noticing a difference in } his bank books. } } The Oracle, is, however, not to be challenged by any mere mortal. Have } my snipers drop her, and bring me the kid. } } You never got this letter, understand? } } The Oracle demands payment of one weeks' retainer fees. Now, go, and } carry forth my orders. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Area # 2120 news.answers 05-25-94 13:50 Message # 12946 From : NDR@TAZBOY.JPL.NASA.GOV To : ALL Subj : Firesign Theatre: Lyrics ÿ@SUBJECT:Firesign Theatre: Lyrics to Songs ÿ@PACKOUT:05-26-94 Message-ID: Newsgroups: alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre,alt.fan.firesign-theatre,alt.answers news.answers Organization: Jet Propulsion Labs Archive-name: firesign-theatre/lyrics Last-modified: 1993/09/21 Version: 1.5 About This Archive ------------------ This archive is posted monthly to alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre, alt.fan.firesign-theatre, alt.answers, and news.answers. It is also available via anonymous ftp to rtfm.mit.edu in the directory /pub/usenet/alt.answers/firesign-theatre/*, or by sending e-mail to mail-server@rtfm.mit.edu with the message "send usenet/alt.answers/firesign-theatre/*". Include the line "help" in the message for more information on the server. Changes: 1. "About this Archive" notice updated. Side 3) Firesign Theatre: Lyrics to Songs @ALBUM: I Think We're All Bozos On This Bus @SONG: Back from the Shadows, again ------------------------------------------------- (Sung to the tune of "Back in the Saddle, again") The Whisperin' Squash[singing]: Back from the Shadows again ! Out where an In-jun's your friend! Where the veg'tables are green, And you can pee into the stream! Yes, we're back from the Shadows again! Reprise (Whisperin' with others): We're goin' back to the Shadows again ! Out where an Indian's your friend! Where the vegetables are green, And you can pee right into the stream! (And that's important!) We're back from the Shadows again! @ALBUM: TV or Not TV @SONG: Rat in a box ------------------------------------------------------ (Also heard on the Nick Danger "Yolks" video) Intro: When you can't stand the pace In the Big Rodent Race 'Come on in where it's safe Where the menu is tref... ###- "tref" means "non-kosher" There's a smell in the air that reminds you of hair You've got something to get and it looks like your pet! (aren't you hungry ?) First we take some rat parts and fry them up real nice.. Then we skin the kitties, and barbeque the mice! Bridge: Guts in a Cup! (Yum!) Mouse on a Stick! (Wow!) French-fried Fleas and Beer-battered Ticks! Chorus: Ra-aaat in a box... (We fry what you won't--) Ra-aaat in a box... (We fry what you won't--) Ra-aaat in a box... (We fry what you won't...TOUCH!) @ALBUM: Not Insane! @SONG: Papoon for President! ---------------------- Papoon, Papoon for President! There is no one to Blame! Papoon for our chief President! You Know He's not Insane! @ALBUM: Hemlock Stones: The Giant Rat of Sumatra @SONG: Frigate Matilda ------------------------- Frigate Matilda! Frigate Matilda! Won't you come frig in the riggin' with me? Oh we swung from the bunk and bunged another cabin boy! Won't you frig old Matilda with me! @ALBUM: How Can You Be In Two Places At Once When You're Not Anywhere At all? @SONG: I can tell by the pie on your tie --------------------------------- I can tell by the pie on your tie you're an American, well so am I! Hi bub, How are ya? How do ya' do? And while we're on the subject... And while we're on the subject... (And while we're on the subject) How's your old Wazoo ?! @SONG: I was born.....an American! --------------------------- I was born.....an American! I was raised...an American! And I'll die...an American! In America,with Armenians! @SONG: A little song I learned upstream in prison one day -------------------------------------------------- This land is made of mountains, This land is made of mud, This land has lots of everything For me and Elmer Fudd. This land has lots of trouser, This land has lots of mausers, And pussy cats to eat them when the sun goes down! @SONG: What makes America Great? ------------------------------------------------- It's candied apples and ponies with dapples you can ride all day! It's girls with pimples And cripples with dimples that just wont go away ! Its spics and wops and niggers and kikes with noses as long as your arm! Its micks and chinks and gooks and geeks and honkies (Honk! Honk!) who never left the farm ! @SONG: Yankee Doodle Came To Terms --------------------------------------- Yankee Doodle came to terms, Writing Martin Buber. Stuck a Fuehrer in our back, And called it Shicklegruber! [trumpet plays "retreat"] @SONG: Pick A Bale O' Dacron -------------------------------- You gotta jump down, spin around! (Huhn!) And pick a bale o' Dacron You gotta jump down, spin around! And pick some Nylon, too! [whipcrack] Agggh...! @SONG: Loostners Castor-Oil Flakes -------------------------------------- Oh, it ain't no use If you ain't got the boost The boost you get from Loostners (Loo-ooo-oosnters) @ALBUM: Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me The Pliers @SONG: The Rough-As-A-Cob March ------------------------------------------- (source: From "Big Book of Plays", page 62-63) Choir: We're marching, marching to Shibboleth, With the Eagle and the Sword! We're praising Zion 'til her death, Until we meet our last reward! Men: Our Lord's reward! Women: Zion! Oh happy Zion! O'er wrapp'd, but not detained! Men: Lion, f'rocious Lion! His beard our mighty mane! Women: At First and Main! Men: Oh, we;ll go marching, marching to Omaha, With the Buckram and the Cord! Women: You'll hear us "boom" our State! Men: Ha, ha! As we cross the final ford! Women: The flaming Ford! Choir: Zion! Oh mighty Zion! Your bison now are dust! As your cornflakes rise "Gainst the rust-red skies, Then our blood requires us must Go ... Men: Marching, marching to Shibboleth, With the Eagle and the ... Women: The Buckram and the Cord! Men: Sword! Praising Zion 'til her death! Women: Ha, ha! Men: Until we eat our last reward! Women: The flaming Ford! Choir: Zion! Oh righteous Zion! There is no one to blame! For the homespun pies 'Neath the cracking skies Shall release the fulsome rain! Tenor: Shall release! Men: Shall release! Soprano: Shall release! Women: Shall release! Choir: Shall release the vinyl rein! @SONG: Peorgie's Song --------------- (Android Sisters:) Porgy Tirebiter! He's a spy and a girl delighter, Orgie Firefighter! He's just a student like you. If you're looking for a Captain of the Ringball Team, You can bet he won't be there. You'll find him pa-popping off at Pop's Sodium Shoppe, Tr-trailing a red, with red hair. Doobie doo-wah... Porgy Tirebiter! Just a student like you! (PORGY:) "Like me?!" Just a student like you! (Father:) "Stop singing and finish your homework !" Just a student like you! ooooooooooo..." @SONG: We're bringing the war back home ---------------------------------- We're bringing the war back home Where it ought to have been before! We'll kill all the bees And spiders and flies And we wont play in iceboxes lying on their sides We'll wash our hands after wee-wee. And if we're a girl, before! And we'll march,march,march, et cetera! 'Til we never do march no more! (All together, now, boys!) We're bringing the war back home Where it ought to have been before! The pretty donut girl on the corner Will be smilin' with a wringer in her hair! We'll wash our hands after wee-wee, And if we're a girl before! And we'll march, march, march, et cetera! 'Till we don't have to march no more (Hum along now...) We won't have to March! We won't have to March! We won't have to March no more! -------------------------- End Side 3 ------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Area # 2120 news.answers 05-25-94 13:50 Message # 12947 From : NDR@TAZBOY.JPL.NASA.GOV To : ALL Subj : Firesign Theatre: Lexico ÿ@PACKOUT:05-26-94 Message-ID: Newsgroups: alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre,alt.fan.firesign-theatre,alt.answers news.answers Organization: Jet Propulsion Labs Archive-name: firesign-theatre/lexicon Last-modified: 1994/4/29 Version: 1.13 About This Archive ------------------ This archive is posted monthly to alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre, alt.fan.firesign-theatre, alt.answers, and news.answers. It is also available via anonymous ftp to rtfm.mit.edu in the directory /pub/usenet/alt.answers/firesign-theatre/*, or by sending e-mail to mail-server@rtfm.mit.edu with the message "send usenet/alt.answers/firesign-theatre/*". Include the line "help" in the message for more information on the server. Send new entries/updates, etc. to ndr@tazboy.jpl.nasa.gov. Changes: 1. New {NASI GOERING}. 2. Modified: {BEATLES}, {HEMLOCK STONES} (movie refs) Side 4) The Firesign Theatre: Lexicon and Concordance File ========================================================== [A] --- ALVARADO: {PICO}'s sidekick, as in "It's Pico and Alvarado". From the streets Pico and Alvarado in Los Angeles. PICO and ALVARADO are both {BEANERS}. They are featured in the plays {BOZOS},{DWARF}, as well as others. {NICK DANGER} had to swim down Alvarado to his convertable during a severe rain storm. Pico and Alvarado sometimes like to yell, "{PARK} it and Lock it! Not Responsible!" AMES: Harry Ames, Jr. A fictional actor who portrays Lieutenant {BRADSHAW} on the {NICK DANGER} series. There is also a Gun Salesman names Ed Ames, who runs the "Ames Guns" store in {DWARF}. ANCHOVIES: Small fish with beady little eyes. We first encounter anchovies in {DWARF}, when George Tirebiter calls a {PIZZA} parlor (note the name of the pizza joint he calls): GEORGE [mumbling]: Let's see...Ocelots. Paupers. Pipe-nipples, Polombras, Pizzas! Armenian Gardens...Hank's Juggernaut... New Leviathan...Nick's Swell... SOUND: HE PICKS UP THE PHONE AND DIALS. THE NEWSCAST GOES ON. < Broadcast deleted> GEORGE [phoning]: Uh, this is George Tirebiter, Camden N 200 R. [pause] Uh, I want to order a pizza to go, and no anchovies. [pause] What ? [clicks phone] Oh, man! Nobody will come up here at all! Apparently, Tirebiter mistakenly called {NICK DANGER}, in the episode, "Cut 'Em Off at the Past". On that album, we hear the same conversation, but from the other side of the phone: ANNOUNCER: He walks in! He's ready for mystery...he's ready for excitement! He's ready for anything...he's... SOUND: TELEPHONE PICKED UP NICK: Nick Danger, Third Eye! GEORGE: (ON FILTER) Uh-I wanna order a pizza to go, and no anchovies. NICK: No anchovies? You've got the wrong man. I spell my name...Danger! [click] GEORGE: (FILTER) What? MUSIC: "NICK DANGER" THEME IN AND UNDER. Note: This is a direct quote from the "Big Mystery" Joke book, and so the attribution of "GEORGE" to the guy on the other side of the phone is the FT's, not an inference (some people thought it was the voice of the teenage Porgie that called Nick). In another episode of Nick Danger, "The case of the Missing Yolks" (Video), and the "Three faces of Al" (album), Rocky {ROCOCO} calls up Nick at the start of the play, and turns everything around: ROCKY: I want to order an anchovy to go, and hold the pizza. NICK: Anchovies? ROCKY: Yeah, those little black things, with eyes! NICK: You've got the wrong man. I spell my name (LOOKS BACK AT THE DOOR) ...REGNAD. ARTIE CHOKE: A {HOLOGRAM} in the FT's {BOZO} play. Artie, the Lonesome Beet and the Whisperin' Squash were all once intended to be characters in an FT western radio show, featuring an all-vegetable cast. AUSTIN: Philip Austin, one of the FT members. [B] --- BABE: The name of {EVERYMAN} in the FT's play {TWO PLACES}. In the liner notes for the "Two Places" CD, Phil Austin writes: It has often been correctly note that the progress of Babe is linked with that of Odysseus, the hero of Homer's Epic poem, "The Odyssey". Although HCYB does not literally follow the form of "The Odyssey", there are several key meetings between the two stories and certainly, like Joyce's "Ulysses", HCYB derives much inspiration from the age-old story of a man trying to return home. Odysseus (Ulysses) finds himself imprisoned, bound by the spell of the witch Calypso, when his outrages against the gods are forgiven and he is allowed to return home. All we will see of this on HCYB is Babe running across a street, nearly to be killed, and entering the emporium of one {RALPH SPOILSPORT}, who may or may not be the god Hermes, sent to sell Babe the instrument of his homecoming. (Some see HCYB as the musings of Ralph, that Ralph is the storyteller and Babe portrays him as a young man. Well...) BALCONY: Whatever it is, Louise Wong's got one you can do {SHAKESPEARE} from! BARNEY: Barney is a {BOZO}. The new "Bozo" CD gives a definition: "Barny or Barney: In the English circus, a fight. The closest American equivalent is {CLEM}." BBOP: Not Bee-bop, but the FT's "Big Book of Plays". BEAR WHIZ BEER: A popular beverage in FT plays, heard in both {EYKIW} and in {YOLKS}. "It's in the water! that's why it's yellow!" Currently a company in Colorado has appropriated the Logo for tee-shirts and posters [###and the editor spotted a *Neon* sign of BWB in Manitou Springs during a recent vacation!]. BEDDOES: Dr. Beddoes, head of Dr. Beddoes Pneumatic Institute, which in real life was a 19th century operation dedicated to experimenting with nitrous oxide (laughing gas). BERGMAN: Peter Bergman, one of the FT members. BOB BUNNY: A fifteen year-old kid, who is the side-kick of {MARK TIME} of the Circum-Solar Federation. He is also a fan of {YOUNG GUY}, Motor Detective, and asks him the {PORRIDGE BIRD} question, which he found carved on the Great Wall of Mars. BOTTLES: {MUDHEAD}'s crazy hopped-up girlfriend, in Porgie {TIREBITER} movies. She is played by Barbara Bobo. Her name is likely a play on the word "Jugs". BOZO: See {BOZOS}. BOZOS: A Bozo likes to {CLONE} and be with other Bozos. One of the {FIVE LIFESTYLES OF MAN}, according to the FT. Honk! Honk! See also {BEANERS}, {BOOGIES}, {ZIPS} and {BERZERKERS}. Featured in the FT play,"I Think Were All Bozos's on this Bus". The FT gives the following definition: "BOZO: A man, fellow, guy; esp. a large, rough man or one with more brawn than brains. 1934: "Drive the heap, bozo" -- Chandler, _Finger Man_. From Sp. dial. "boso" (from "vosotros") - you (pl.) which resembles a direct address." --Dictionary of American Slang by Wentworth and Flexner, 1960. B.O.Z.O is also referred to as an acronym for the "Brotherhood Of {ZIPS} and Others". BEANERS: A non-offensive term derived from the ethnically offensive one, referring to the lifestyle rather than the race. One of the {FIVE LIFESTYLES OF MAN}, according to the FT. BEATLES: A 60's Rock-and-Roll group (I can't believe I actually would have to explain this, but I do). A few Beatles references: In {NICK DANGER}: Announcer: "Out of the Fog, into the smog"... "There's a fog upon L.A. ..." (Blue Jay Way, Magical Mystery Tour) Rocky Rococo: A play on "Rocky Raccoon" Catherwood: says "Goo-goo-goo-joob" (ref: "I am the Walrus"), and then says "I'm so tired, I haven't slept a wink" (cf "I'm So Tired", from the "White Album"). His references to {CELLOPHANE}, although a clear {SFX} device, could also be the line "Cellophane flowers of yellow and green" (cf "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" -- Sgt. Pepper). Nick: says his story has more holes in it than the Albert Hall (cf "A Day in the Life" -- Sgt. Pepper). "It was {PIG NITE} at the {OM} mane padme Sigma House." is a reference to the mantra: "Om mani padme hum" (note the awful math pun: Sigma-->Sum-->Hum). This also possibly a reference to "Piggies" on the White Album, although some Fraternities actually used to have a Pig Nite, where they would bring ugly women. Nancy: ", but everyone knew her as Nancy" is from "Rocky Raccoon" (White Album, again!): Her name was Magil and she called herself Lil But everyone knew her as Nancy... Also, her boyfriend's name is "Dan" in the Song (Dan Catherwood): Now she and her man who called himself Dan Were in the next room at the hoe down In {HEMLOCK STONES}, they sing "Get Back" at the end. Also, Stones tells Flotsom to meet him in the Pub in disguise, and Flotsom asks "In the pub in the skys?", which is a reference to "Lucy In the Skys, with Diamonds,". This tune was denied by the Beatles to be an LSD reference, and apparently is also tied to a John Fred and the Playboy Band tune called "Judy in Disguise, With Glasses". So, we have come full circle. In {HCYB}, one of the {RALPH SPOILSPORT} motors commercials begins, "Don't we do it in the road here at Ralph's Spoilsport Motors..." (cf "Why Dont We Do it In the Road" from the "White Album"). One of the kids in "Le Trent Huit Cunegonde" (Returned for Regrooving) was named "Malcom X.John Lennon" In the "Dear Friends" album, one of the skits ends with a politician singing, "Those Moscow girls really knock me out" (a mis-quote from "Back in the USSR" -- the girls were Ukrainian). BERZERKER: See {BERZERKERS}. BERZERKERS: One of the {FIVE LIFESTYLES OF MAN}, according to the FT. BMJB: The FT's "Big Mystery Joke Book", containing the transcripts of {HEMLOCK STONES} Sumatran Rat play, {NICK DANGER}'s "Cut 'Em Off at the Past" play, "Temporarily Humboldt County", "{MARK TIME}" from the "Dear Friends" album, "{YOUNG GUY}", motor detective, and others. BOOGIES:A non-offensive term derived from the ethnically offensive one, referring to the lifestyle rather than the race. One of the {FIVE LIFESTYLES OF MAN}, according to the FT. BRADSHAW: Lieutenant Alvin Bradshaw, in the FT police forces. Loosely based on the Officer Bradshaw from the old Highway Patrol episodes, Bradshaw is constantly pestering the private investigators {NICK DANGER} and his Javanese counterpart {YOUNG GUY}, Motor Detective. {YOUNG GUY} once discovered that "BRAD" stands for "Bernard", indicating that Bradshaw is actually "George Bernard Shaw, famous author and riterary smart-guy". Bradshaw is played by the fictional character Harry Ames, Jr. BUS: What I think We're all {BOZO}'s on. The "Bozo" CD liner notes quote the following definition: "BUS: A circuit in a mixing board which carries signals from one or more inputs to any output or set of outputs." The {PRESIDENT} is referred to as the "Terminal Bus -- the output". [C] --- CELLOPHANE: An {SFX} tool, used to simulate fire on radio. In {NICK DANGER}, Catherwood asks if he Nick wants to pull his "cues" out of the cellophane before they scorch. See also {CORNSTARCH}. In the Fall 93 Reunion tour update, Catherwood asks Nick to pull his cues out of the "bubble wrap". CHEESE: Many types of CHEESE appear in FT skits: {GORGONZOLA} the Cheese-monster, Cheese-Logs, Cheese-Log-Throws, not to mention {RAT}S. On the album cover of {ITNWYOYO}, on the wall (below the billboards for 'Dead Cat Soap" and "Billy Jack Dogfood") there are signs for 'Bowel {OIL}' and'{SWELL} Cheese'. See also {PIZZA}. CHING: See {I-CHING}. CHROMIUM: It's just this little CHROMIUM switch, here! The first lines of {DWARF}. CLEM: The {EVERYMAN} of the FT play {BOZOS}. Also known as "UhClem" to the main computer in the {FUTURE FAIR}. The liner notes for "Bozos" quotes the following definition from "The Language of American Popular Entertainment": "Clem: Its most common meaning is that of a general fight or riot between town hoodlums who attack shows and the circus or carnival employees. As an interjection, clem has replaces 'hey rube' as a battle cry for a forthcoming fight. In this case, Clem attacks the Future Fair main computer by inserting a gypsy program to confuse {DOCTOR MEMORY}, bringing the whole operation down. The FT in later skits apparently developed Clems motivation and story as follows (David Ossman writes): "Clem, a shoeless computer programmer for the Fair, was fired after he re-programmed the {RALPH SPOILSPORT} Speedway ride to 'Smoke Dope' ie, slow down, free-associate, play. He has now re-entered the Fair and broken into the maintenance circuits of {DOCTOR MEMORY} in order to re-program it to 'forget the past'. As on the album, he succeeds in confusing the good Dr. into contradictory on/off instructions which sabotage the machine and destroy the fantastic illusions we had taken for Reality. CLONE: To either replicate yourself into a {HOLOGRAM}, or to act like all the other {BOZO}S. CONFIDENCE IN THE SYSTEM: A timely drug. Here's an advertisement for it by the FT on Ben Bland's All Day Matinee on the "Just Folks" album.: You know, this is the midst of the disillusionment and heartbreak season and,with the recent outbreak of that suicidal strain of despair up in Boston,well, you'd better keep a close watch on your emotions. So remember the seven danger signals of depression; that's a general and lasting feeling of hope-lessness, inability to concentrate, loss of self-esteem, fear of rejection, feelings of guilt, misdirected anger, and extreme dependency on others. At the first sign of these symptoms, friends, follow these simple rules: keep working, drink as much as possible, and... take your television's advice. And y'know more TV's recommend an amazing new psychic breakthrough than any other, and that's... Confidence in the System. Fast, safe, and guaranteed through constant Federal control, Confidence in the System will keep THEM in power longer, longer, longer, and tend to calm and obscure the miseries of disillusionment and despair. In easy-to-swallow Propaganda form or new fast-acting Thought Control, that's Confidence in the System. So have some... today. CORNSTARCH: Used to simulate snow in {NICK DANGER}. Catherwood asks Nick to come in out of the Cornstarch and dry his mucklucks by the fire. Cornstarch is a prop widely used by foley artists (a/k/a "Sound Effects Guys" -- "thanks Rocky!") to simulate walking through snow. You don't walk in it. You leave it in its handy box. Squeezing and massaging the box near a mike gives that squeaky sound, not unlike walking on packed snow on a cold day. It also expels a fine dusting of cornstarch, which settles nicely onto scripts, mikes, tape reels, etc. Experienced foley artists leave the cornstarch box inside a plastic bag. See also {CELLOPHANE}. CUNEGONDE: As in "Le Trent Huit Cunegonde" (The 38th Cunegonde). This is referred to in {DWARF}, and is the title of another FT piece. Cunegonde has generated quite a discussion amongst the FT irregulars... A number of fans noted that Cunegonde is the daughter of the Baron Thunder-ten-tronckh, a central character in Voltaire's "Candide". Jeff Bulf notes the use of this name elsewhere in the arts: Cunegonde and its variants in other languages seems to be a standard name for what we would now call "bimbo" characters in European film. And presumably in stage before that. I cannot remember the title of a black-and-white scandinavian movie with tease/tart named Kunigunda. I saw it when I was in high school anyway, which puts it before the first Firesign performances. (Was it a Bergman? Doesn't sound like his sort of character.) The name seems to be used as if it were a month; several fans have tried to link it with the French Revolution and its renaming of the calendar months; E.g., July became "Thermidor" -- best recalled by the "Thermidorean reaction" that followed some brutality as the revolution took its course. As for the origin of the name Cunegonde, Evan M Corcoran was kind enough to track this down with the help of his brother in France: ...Here's what he came up with, from the five volume Grand Larousse dictionary, translated free for your personal libation: Cunegonde - (saint), Germanic imperatrice (v. 978 - abbey of Kaufungen, Hesse, 1033 or 1040 [I'm not exactly sure what this means, I'll ask my brother]) Spouse of Henri II the Saint, canonised in 1200. later he has continued: One more historical note: I checked out Sainte Cunegonde, and as far as I could determine, she is not the patroness of anything. There is ANOTHER Sainte Cunegonde who is patroness of Poland and Lithuania, but she's not the one parodied in Candide. Or is she... Both Cunegondes are also spelled Kunigonda in some places. And St. Vitus is the patron of comedians. So, Cunegonde might be saint of something (perhaps, Cows?) [D] --- DCTDHMTP: Don't Crush That {DWARF}, Hand Me the Pliers!. DOCTOR MEMORY: The big computer that runs everything in the {FUTURE FAIR}, described in the FT's {BOZO} play. The Doctor was also mentioned in a poem on the "Dear Friends" album. He is based on an old SAILON LISP program written for the PDP-10 running the TOPS-10 operating system. DWARF: "Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me The Pliers": An FT play about the life of the {EVERYMAN} George {TIREBITER}. The title appears to be a marijuana reference. "Dwarf" is slang for a marijuana cigarette which has been almost completely consumed (ie, "roach") and the "pliers" are pliers or any other device which can be used to hold the dwarf by the very end in order to consume the rest of the cigarette ("roach clip"). Hence, "don't crush that nearly-consumed marijuana cigarette, hand me a pair of pliers (so that I can smoke the rest)." This could also be tied in to Hal Roach, the famous producer of old silent comedies, who only recently died at the age of 100+. He is given a brief mention at the end of "Dwarf", when {TIREBITER}'S secretary indicates that Mr. Roach had left a message, along with Laurel & Hardy, Harpo Marx ("Honk! Honk!- he would leave his name..") The FT sometimes refer to a "Hot Roach Studios", which they presumably ran. The liner notes for the "Dwarf" CD mentions that the original title for Dwarf was "We'll be Heironymus Bosch in Jest a Minute, but Faust..." indicating connections between the play and the man who "sold out" to the devil, as well as the nature of interruptions as a part of life. {ROCKY ROCOCO}, the nemesis of {NICK DANGER}, is a dwarf: CATHER: "Nancy, who's that ugly dwarf with his hand in your mouth?" ROCKY: "Rocky Rococo, at your cervix!" There were also dwarf maples at the {SAME OLD PLACE} [E] --- EAT FLAMING DEATH: From the Jargon Lexicon of the Hacker's Dictionary: eat flaming death: imp. A construction popularized among hackers by the infamous CPU Wars comic; supposed to derive from a famously turgid line in a WWII-era anti-Nazi propaganda comic that ran "Eat flaming death, non-Aryan mongrels!" or something of the sort (however, it is also reported that the Firesign Theater's 1975 album "In The Next World, You're On Your Own" included the phrase "Eat flaming death, fascist media pigs"; this may have been an influence). Used in humorously overblown expressions of hostility. "Eat flaming death, EBCDIC users!" EGGS: Let's just call them, the "{PHENOMENA}". {PORRIDGE BIRD}s lay their eggs in the air. Maybe its because there are aliens in them! ELECTRICIAN: "Waiting for the Electrician, or Someone like Him".Another FT play, featured on the album of the same name. The first of the cycle of plays following the life of {EVERYMAN},named P, in this case. The Electrician was also a mysterious character that appeared in the {HEMLOCK STONES} play "The Giant Rat of Sumatra", and pursued the great {ZEPELLIN TUBE} that was stolen by Jonas ACME. Little did Jonas realize that the Electrician was in fact, his own ward and heir, young Frank Acne, Jr.! The "Electrician" seems to be derived from a dream Peter Bergman accounted from the Christmas Broadcast, KPFK Radio Free Oz, in 1967. He had a dream of the electrician coming to pull the plug on the world, making everyone live real close together. And so we are all now "waiting for the electrician" (or someone like him), very Samuel Beckett-like (Waiting for Godot). See also {HUMBOLT}. EVERYMAN: A useful term to describe the often nameless heroes of the FT plays. The FT's {BBOP} book describes how the hero transmutes from one play into the next(summarized here): "Waiting for the {ELECTRICIAN} or Someone like Him": The{EVERYMAN} is named "P" (after Phil, and in homage to Kafka's K).The play ends with "P" escaping from the country Enroute... ...and winding up on Ventura Blvd, in the process of buying a new car. {EVERYMAN}'s name is now Babe, and his story is told in "How Can You Be in {TWO PLACES} At Once, when you're not Anywhere At All". Babe drifts through many adventures, and with the help of {RALPH SPOILSPORT}, falls asleep to a hemp-laced version of James Joyce's Molly Bloom soliloquy from Ulysses... ( as a side trip, Babe and {NICK DANGER} are literally flip-sides of each other: "Wait a minute; didn't I say that on the other side of this record?" THAT's how you can be in two places at once!) ...and wakes up at 4AM, now named George Leroy {TIREBITER}! His story is now told by the {DWARF} play, as the {EVERYMAN} sees his life played out on various channels of the television, where he is, by turns, an old movie director, a political candidate,a child star, a high-school kid, an adult actor, an Army Officer,and a quiz-show MC. Eventually, he "sells out", wakes up from the TV world, regains his youth, and runs out to get an ice-cream bar from the truck... ...Hunger satisfied, and with nothing else to do on a beautiful Fall morning, George-now transmogrified into a young man named {CLEM} -- is amused and intrigued by the arrival of the {FUTURE FAIR} Tour Bus, as described in the {BOZO}S play (note that when Barney,the {BOZO}, reminds Clem to inflate his {SHOES},Clem replies that he no longer wears shoes -- as Porgie {TIREBITER} in {DWARF} did).As he wanders through the Fair, he asks both the {PRESIDENT}and{DOCTOR MEMORY} a question about the {PORRIDGE BIRD},which brings down the whole show. The fair and all its creations vanish, leaving only the fireworks of the departure. And now, the story changes,and the Future is Past, (coming full circle ?) ... EYKIW: Everything You Know Is Wrong! An FT play satirizing {SEEKER}S. [F] --- FALL OVER: A common phrase occurring throughout FT plays is "(s)He's no fun, (s)he fell right over". This is tied indirectly to {FUDD'S LAW}: If you push something hard enough it will fall over. {NANCY} is a real push-over. See also {TESLACLE'S DEVIANT} and {BOZO}. Lots of people fall over in FT plays, presumably in obedience to {FUDD'S LAW}. Among them, {BABE} in the {TWO PLACES} play,{NANCY} fell over in an episode of {NICK DANGER}, Third-eye,and Edmund's Nuncle fell over in the play "Waiting for the Count of Monte Cristo (or someone like Him," in the {NOT INSANE} album ("What,what,Dead drunk ... NAY DEAD!"). The Nick Danger reference is particularly dizzying, as the following transcript shows: NANCY: [DIZZY] The whole world is spinning! NICK: That's lucky for us! If it were flat, all the Chinese would fall off! [SOUND OF NANCY FALLING] NICK: She's no fun, she fell right over. Wait a minute...didn't I say that on the other side of the record. Where am I? I better check... [PORTION OF OTHER SIDE OF RECORD PLAYED BACKWARDS] NICK: Oh, it's OK, they're speaking Chinese.. -- Note: the "Chinese" are on the other side of a *flat* vinyl record, which is spinning! This phrase was quoted recently by the character Dr. Venckman on the cartoon version of "The Real Ghostbusters", in the episode titled, 'My Uncle Harold'. In {BOZO} we hear, "Animals without backbones hid from each other, or fell down." FIREHEAD: A Firesign-Theatre Fan. FIVE LIFESTYLES OF MAN: {BOZO}S, {BOOGIES}, {BEANERS}, {ZIPS} and {BERZERKERS}. The FT's {BBOP} book describes them all as follows: 

The five lifestyles of man in the future are, starting from top to 
bottom, though it's circular:

First the {BERZERKER}. Clue to a Berserker: Anybody who's got a 
gun.Anybody in a lime-green car with eight-foot tires, called Demon or 
Barracuda. Any Army officer, anybody in uniform. A Bobby is not a 
Berserker. But maybe he is because he carries his job, his badge. Most 
people who have jobs. There's a Berserker aspect to all of us. You can 
play softball with a Berserker. A Berserker doesn't always have to 
kill, but in the back of his mind, it's not a bad idea.

Under the Berserkers are the {ZIPS}. The archetypal Zip is the 1930's 
guy with the thin moustache. Zips have always been concerned with hair. 
We're exhibiting Zip tendencies in having rather fancily cut 
moustaches. We're all prone to these various aspects. There's a Zip in 
everyone's kip, is the World War One English expression. Zips love new 
products. Zips are often found inside new headphones. They've got zip, 
pep. Zzzzzip! Zip me up! Most actors are Zips. There's a category 
called Hip Zip, which David invented yesterday.

B.O.Z.O. is the Brotherhood of Zips and Others. Bozos are people who 
band together for fun and  profit. They have no jobs. Anybody who goes 
on a tour is a Bozo. Why does a Bozo cross the street? Because there's a  
Bozo on the other side. It comes from the phrase *vosotros*, meaning  
others. They're the huge, fat, middle waist. The archetype is an Irish  
drunk clown with red hair and nose, and pale skin. Fields, William  
Bendix. Everybody tends to drift towards Bozoness. It has Oz in it.  
They mean well. They're straight-looking except they've got inflatable  
shoes. They like their comforts. The Bozos have learned to enjoy their  
free time, which is all the time.

(###"*vos otros*" is a multilevel pun on the spanish noun, *bosotros*, 
meaning clowns, "the 'b' and the 'v' being the same" -- ed.)

Now, the {BOOGIES}. You see a bunch of Boogies around you. That's our 
lifestyle. There are more spades in this class than any other. But the 
world is changing. There are now getting to be a lot of spade Zips. And 
spade Bozos. Boogies don't differentiate between grass and alcohol. 
People who work in post offices are generally Boogies. They take it 
easy. They don't Zip. They're not Bozos because they don't clone. They 
boogie around rather than hanging around one another. They Boogie.

The other class is the {BEANERS}. The Beaners live outside the Law of 
Gravity. They have more color television sets than anybody in the 
world. They're always appearing either on or with you color TV. They 
watch themselves on color TV. Beaners are very concerned with their own 
refuse, which they leave piled up around their house, but always in 
use. They're always going to use it. Hundreds of old pickup trucks. All 
Indians are Beaners. They don't care. Why should they? Beaners can't 
tell lies. They fear no one. "Don't point your finger at me Daddy-o, I 
cut it off!" Pico and Alvarado are Beaners. We love the Beaners.

Most youth is Bozo-like now [early 70's]. That's why people get so 
upset when Berzerkers come into a Bozo gathering. 'Cause Bozos never do 
anything to anybody. Bozos keep having rock festivals. They create 
marijuana free-areas. Grass has moved into Bozodom.

The Berserkers and Zips run things now. Why does a Zip pay taxes? 
Because he likes to fill out the forms. Berserkers run things by 
telling you the Beaners are going to get you. Those desperate Beaners 
may strike at any time! All politicians are Berserkers.
Update for the 90's: During the late 70's the youth began drifting into {ZIP}ness, with the disco-era, and the general populace, in definite {BERZERKER} mode,began the Reagan years.... The use by former {PRESIDENT} George Bush, referring to some other politicians as "Bozos" may not have been influenced by the FT, but it might as well have been. Bush himself, like most politicians,was a {BERZERKER}. Clinton has been showing definite {BOZO} tendencies in the way that he {CLONES}, {BOOGIE}ness with his non-inhaling experiments,{ZIP}ness with Cristophe, but to date only a few {BERZERKER} tendencies... But remember: it's all cyclical! FLOTSAM JETSAM: The sidekick of {HEMLOCK STONES}. FOLEY: Sound Effects Techniques. See {SFX}. FOUR OR FIVE CRAZY GUYS: The Firesign Theatre. FUDD'S LAW: "If You Push Something Hard Enough, It Will {FALL OVER}". A Law Enunciated by the FT in the {WALL OF SCIENCE} segment of {ITWABOTB}. The full name is "Fudd's First Law of Opposition", and was enunciated by Sir Sidney Fudd. Here are some other FT Rules, with references: 1. If you give the people a light, they'll follow it anywhere. {POOP} 2. If you push something hard enough, it'll fall over. {ITWABOTB} 3. If you dig a deep enough hole, everybody'll want to jump into it. {EYKIW}. See also {TESLACLE'S DEVIANT}, and {FALL OVER}. FT: The Firesign Theatre. FUTURE FAIRE: See {FUTURE FAIR}. FUTURE FAIR: From {BOZOS} -- The FUTURE FAIR was an amusement park which looked fondly back to the future. (The movie title "Back to the Future" may have been influence by this). "A fair for all and no fare for anybody!" The motivations for this fair are numerous: the 1933 Chicago Worlds Fair, with its "Hall of Science" (see {WALL OF SCIENCE}), and the 1939 World of Tomorrow Worlds Fair in New York, with its "Futurama" display. FTAEBGB: (Faster,Further) Than Anyone's Ever Been Gone Before! Lots of people are always breaking the limits in FT plays. In {HEMLOCK STONES} Sumatran {RAT} episode, after installing the {ZEPPELIN TUBE} into their yacht, Violet Dudley, says, "Whoo! that's faster than anyone's ever been gone before! For example, in {NICK DANGER}, "Cut 'Em Off At the Past" episode, we hear: CATHERWOOD: "I'll be gone for thousand years!" NANCY: "Gee, that's longer than anyone's ever been gone before." CATHERWOOD: "But to you it will seem only a moment. Very well, my dear: Forward Into The Past!" NANCY: "I hope he gets back before all this dry ice melts." [G] --- GEORGE TIREBITER: See {TIREBITER}. GOLDEN HINDE: A series hosted by Bob {HINDE}. "Welcome to the wonderful world of Snails and adventure as we board the Golden Hinde". This has been quoted several times in {MST3K} The `Golden Hind' was the ship in which, in 1577-1580, Francis Drake sailed around the world. Originally, the ship was named the `Pelican', but while he was travelling, Drake changed the name in honor of his patron, Sir Christopher Hatton. Hatton's crest was a golden hind. (A "hind" is a sort of female deer, more specifically a female three years or older; especially a female red deer.) GORGONZOLA: A fearsome cheese-monster! Mentioned by {BRADSHAW} on a {YOUNG GUY} Motor-Detective radio show, and elsewhere. See also {CHEESE}. [H] --- HCYB: How Can You Be in {TWO PLACES} at Once, When You're Not Anywhere at All? HEMLOCK STONES: Yet another FT detective, loosely based on Sherlock Holmes. Known as "Hemlock Stones, the Great Defective". His sidekick is {FLOTSAM JETSAM}. Michael Rogers writes, For those who are not devotees of Sherlock Holmes I came across this while reading Conan Doyle a couple of weeks ago: "'Matilda Briggs was not the name of a young woman, Watson,' said Holmes in a reminiscent voice. 'It was a ship which is associated with the giant rat of Sumatra, a story for which the world is not yet prepared.'" -from _The Adventure of the Sussex Vampire_ clavazzi@nyx.cs.du.edu (The_Doge) continues, Actually, there are a fair number of Canonical references in "Giant Rat".... For example: "Violet Dawn Dudley" refers to the fact that some of the more interesting heroines in the Canon are named Violet ("The Solitary Cyclist" is one example). And then there's the frequent use of the name "Moriarity" in various guises. And the fact that Watson had just returned from the Afghani wars when he met Holmes.. Bill Johnson writes, What B+W Sherlock Holmes movie with Basil Rathbone had an opening sequence strikingly like the one which opens the Hemlock Stones mystery, where he is playing his violin while his asssistant is trying to find food, and both are discussing a case they just finished? John Burkardt answers, >The movie you saw was "The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes", starring >Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce. >Holmes was plucking his violin, trying to find a frequency that would >disturb flies, reasoning that if he found such a frequency, he could >have a simple fly repeller. >The movie was made about 1939, I believe. HIDEO GUMP: A Japanese business man, whose son Hideo Gump, Jr.played the role of {YOUNG GUY}, Motor Detective! HINDE: Refers either to the {GOLDEN HINDE} or Bob Hinde, the host of the show. Briefly appeared in {DWARF}, and in {EYKIW}, where we first meet the aliens. They have appeared in several {MST3K} episodes as well. HOLOGRAM: A 3D cybernetic {CLONE} of someone, made popular in the play {ITWABOTB}. HUMBOLDT: See {HUMBOLT}. HUMBOLT: Temporarily Humboldt (Humbolt) County. wweber@silver.ucs.indiana.edu (W. John Weber) writes, In a radio show prepared by David Ossman, and heard only in Seattle and Bloominton, IN, celebrating the 20th birthday of Electrician it was explained. Humbolt County is an actual county in which the FT boys had friends, and they were fairly interested in Native American politics. The government (white) had declared the area Humbolt County, but the Indians in order to refuse the whites appelation (and I guess to remind them that no man really owns the land) called it Temporarily Humbolt County. [I] --- I CHING: "The Book of Changes". A Chinese fortune telling device, involving the tossing of coins or (more traditionally) the dividing and counting of yarrow stalks,called {POOH STICKS} by some. The binary patterns which come up are used in looking up the corresponding pattern in an I-Ching dictionary of patterns. In "Return for Regrooving" on the {ELECTRICIAN} album, the Hippie Republic of China reported, "We threw I Ching... out the window! We are now unanimous!" There was also a Sally I-Ching who just turned 12 today on {DWARF}. By far the most insightful translation of the I Ching is one by Richard Wilhelm, with introduction by C.G. Jung. In fact this is the trans used by FT, as the wording on the albums IS the Wilhelm wording. The Firesign Theatre, in writing their {EVERYMAN} plays, had a tradition of throwing the I-Ching before and after each of their plays. For example, in {BOZO}'s, the first words we hear are "Biting Through...", which is an I-Ching. The {TWO PLACES} album uses The Army hexagram, where Nick Danger says, NICK: Well, Bradshaw -- It's like in The Army, you know--The Great Prince issues commands, founds states, vests families with fiefs. Inferior people should not be employed BRADSHAW: Nick, I can't know success, but you still put me through too many changes. (This last remark refers to the fact that the "I Ching" means "Book of Changes") The last line of {NICK DANGER} in {TWO PLACES} may also be found in the Unix version documentation for ching(6), under "DIAGNOSTICS", which is based upon the Wilhelm translation. In fact, using "ching" we can determine the exact configuration that was thrown for the {TWO PLACES} album. In the liner notes for one of the CD's it was noted that they threw the hexagram "The Army", with the changing line leading to "Youthful folly". The way all this stuff works is, you throw some yarrow sticks (also called pooh sticks) or coins, and derive a set of six numerical values, between 6 and 9. The even numbers represent the -- -- broken line, and the odd numbers represend the ------ solid line. Also, lines which came from the numbers 6 and 9 are called changing lines; if there are any changing lines then they are considered unstable, and will turn into their opposite. So, you have to also use the hexagram resulting from flipping the changing lines. Now, The Army is: And Y. Folly is: So the configuration was: -- -- ------ 6 (change) -- -- -- -- 8 (no change) -- -- -- -- 8 (no change) -- -- -- -- 8 (no change) ------ ------ 7 (no change) -- -- -- -- 8 (no change) So, let's go to our favorite unix-box and throw the Firesign Theatre's exact hexagram: $ /usr/games/ching 878886 7. Shih / The Army -- -- -- -- above K'un The Receptive, Earth -- -- -- -- ----- below K'an The Abysmal, Water -- -- The Judgement The Army. The army needs perseverance And a strong man. Good fortune without blame. The Image In the middle of the earth is water: The image of the Army. Thus the superior man increases his masses By generosity toward the people. The Lines Six at the top means: The great prince issues commands, Founds states, vests families with fiefs. Inferior people should not be employed. 4. Meng / Youthful Folly ----- -- -- above Ken Keeping Still, Mountain -- -- -- -- ----- below K'an The Abysmal, Water -- -- The Judgement Youthful Folly has success. It is not I who seek the young fool; The young fool seeks me. At the first oracle I inform him. If he asks two or three times, it is importunity. If he importunes, I give him no information. Perseverance furthers. The Image A spring wells up at the foot of the mountain: The image of Youth. Thus the superior man fosters his character By thoroughness in all that he does. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ An interesting sidelight; note the reference to Ken, Keeping Still. If any of you have read the FT's Big Mystery Joke Book, the last play is one called "The Dream Play, (for Monkey, Dreamer, Mudhead and Snake)" written by Phil Austin. It starts out with the Dreamer reciting: Once upon a time, when time was nothing like it is today, you must imagine that you sat still, upon the side of a mountain called Keeping Still. You have clear eyes and they are very strong and they see a great land and beyond it a great sea and above it a great sky... I'm pretty sure that "Ken" is actually K'en, which was the name of one of the characters Phil Proctor played in {DWARF}. Unforturnately, we don't know the changing lines for the other hexagram thrown for {BOZO}s, "Biting Through", so we cant get the exact judgement. In any case, this is what we get with all the changing lines activated (we'll ignore the changed hex, since it could have been any of the 63 others): tazboy: /usr/games/ching 966969 21. Shih Ho / Biting Through ----- -- -- above Li The Clinging, Flame ----- -- -- -- -- below Chen The Arousing, Thunder ----- The Judgement Biting Through has success. It is favorable to let justice be administered. The Image Thunder and lightning: The image of Biting Through. Thus the kings of former times made firm the laws Through clearly defined penalties. The Lines Nine at the beginning means: His feet are fastened in the stocks, So that his toes disappear. No blame. Six in the second place means: Bites through tender meat, So that his nose disappears. No blame. Six in the third place means: Bites on old dried meat And strikes on something poisonous. Slight humiliation. No blame. Nine in the fourth place means: Bites on dried gristly meat. Receives metal arrows. It furthers one to be mindful of difficulties And to be persevering. Good fortune. () Six in the fifth place means: Bites on dried lean meat. Receives yellow gold. Perseveringly aware of danger. No blame. Nine at the top means: His neck is fastened in the wooden cangue, So that his ears disappear. Misfortune. Now *there's* something to chew on! :-) Final note: Peter Bergman remarks that as far as he can remember, there was no particular hexagram for the other two albums. ITNWYOYO: In the Next World You're On Your Own. An FT album. ITWABOTB: I Think We're All {BOZO}S On This Bus. One of the cornerstones of FT philosophy and viewpoints, and the fourth in the FT's {EVERYMAN} cycle of plays. INSANE: See {NOT INSANE}. [J] --- [K] --- [L] --- LEPRECHAUNS: Posed the {PORRIDGE BIRD} question to {EVERYMAN}. And just look at the havok THAT recked! LOOSTNERS: Caster-oil flakes. One of {NICK DANGER}'s sponsors. "With real glycerin vibra-fome!" [M] --- MARK TIME: A space-adventurer from the Circum-Solar Federation, serialized by the FT in their "Dear Friends" album, and also a ride in the {FUTURE FAIR}. His side-kick is {BOB BUNNY}. MEMORY: See {DOCTOR MEMORY}! MOUSE: Deacon E. L. Mouse, one of the characters in {DWARF}, serving under pastor Rod Flash. He was apparently named after a pet beetle that Phil {Austin} had of the same name. MUDHEAD: {PORGIE} {TIREBITER}'s friend in the movies. Motivated by Jughead and Archie, and by Henry Aldrich, the old radio show. Speculation: Starting with the second film, Henry's pal was a certain "Dizzy" Stevens. The connection between Dizzy and Jughead is via baseball: "Dizzy" Dean was a renowned pitcher, and "Mudhead" was one of the nicknames of an early black baseball great. This may also be a reference to the Zuni mudheads. MALMBORG: See {QUID MALMBORG IN PLANO} MST3K: Mystery Science Theatre 3000. A TV series on the Comedy Channel which often makes references to obscure Firesign Theatre phrases, including loose shoes, {SHOES} for industry, hi i'm joe beets, dear friends, sit in a tree and learn to play the flute, as well as the {GOLDEN HINDE}. Hal Broome writes: This time on Mystery Science Theater 3000; the "experiment" was a Jack Palance stinker called THE OUTLAW, and the robot's line was: "Don't crush that {DWARF}, hand me the pliers". There was sort of an albino-type dwarf ("a negative of Herche V.") which received this line. The whole movie seemed an Italian rip-off of the GOR series (a feminist S.F. series -- NOT!). [N] --- NANCY: Also known as Melanie Haber, Audrey Farber, Susan Underhill,and... Betty Jo Bialowsky! {NICK DANGER}'s old college beau, in "Cut 'em off at the Past!". Her name is a {BEATLES} reference. Tom Teslacle names his "Automated Pushover" after Nancy, based on {TESLACLE'S DEVIANT}, a corollary to {FUDD'S LAW}, in {BOZO}. Also, in British Slang Nancy is a prostitute or loose woman. "Comes in and goes out like anything!" NASI GOERING: An FT song. Also a type of dutch food, apparently: Nasi Goreng..."A Spicy Dutch Treat" Indonesian Rice, vegetables and pork, with a fried egg and Kroepoek NICK DANGER: A private-eye, made popular in the FT play,"Nick Danger, Third Eye", on the {TWO PLACES} album, and in the video episode, "The Case 0f the Missing {YOLKS}". His Japanese counterpart is {YOUNG GUY}, Motor Detective! He is tied to George {TIREBITER} via {ANCHOVIES}, which George doesn't like on his {PIZZA}s. He is also tied to {BOZO}s when the Whisperin' Squash suggests to {CLEM} that he could "Cut Em' Off at the Past". Parts of the "Cut 'Em Off at the Past" episode are conjectured to have been influenced by Philip K. Dicks 1962 novel, _The Man In The High Castle_, which also used the {I-CHING}. NOT INSANE: The reason you should have voted for {PAPOON}, rather than those other {BERZERKERS} and {BOZO}S. He's not insane! Refers also to the FT's album of the same name. Crazy {ROCKY} also said, "I'm not insane!" in the {YOLKS} video. The 1960 Lenny Bruce album "Togetherness" contains a bit called "Our Governers." On it, Lenny does a surreal take on a supposedly real comment made by "Gov. Long" (probably Earl Long of Louisiana). The gov. apparently said, on the campaign trail, "I'M NOT A NUT!!!!!!--which Lenny really admires as a political slogan, adding: "I DON'T WET THE BED---ELECT ME!" Also: George McGovern's original 1972 running mate, Thomas Eggleton, who was dropped from the ticket when revelations of earlier psychiatric analysis came out. The comments at the time referred to the fact that whatever had been wrong with him had been cured...thus he was now diagnosed as "Not Insane". [O] --- OIL: A famous prayer in {TWO PLACES} goes: "...annointed with oil on troubled waters? oh Heavenly Grid, help us bear up thy *Standard, our *Chevron flashing bright across the *Gulf of Compromise, standing *Humble on the *Rich Field of *Mobile *American Thinking? Here in this *Shell, we call Life..." which has 8(*) oil-company references in it. In {HEMLOCK STONES} there was also Pignut Oil (not {PIG NITE}), and Boyle M. Owl and his Bowel Oil Company. OM: OM MANE PADME HUM; An ancient (Sanskrit) buddhist chant. Referred to in {NICK DANGER}. Related to the chant "Namu Myoho Renge Kyo", used in many Japanese buddhist sects. The phrase "Om mane padme hum" translates from Sanskrit as "Om, the jewel in the lotus, Hum", or "Hail to the jewel in the lotus". "Myoho Renge Kyo" is the title of the Lotus Sutra, tranlated into Chinese by Kumarajiva and then transliterated into Japanese. Loosely translated, "Nam Myoho Renge Kyo" becomes "Hail to the Mystic Law(jewel) of the Lotus Sutra" OSSMAN: David Ossman, one of the FT members. OXNARD: A real place on the California coast, home of the {YOLK}s. {ROCKY ROCOCO} is thought to be responsible for everything bad that happens there. (In the FT video, "The case of the missing {YOLK}s"). OZ: The land of {BOZOS}. Refers to Radio Free Oz, on Pacifica-sponsored KPFK radio in Los Angeles, where the FT used to broadcast their show. David Ossman is also referred to sometimes as Oz. [P] --- PAPOON: An FT character who ran for {PRESIDENT}. He's {NOT INSANE}! PARK: "Park and Lock it! Not Responsible" A common yell in FT plays. {PICO} and {ALVARADO} yell it a lot. According to the {BBOP} book, when Peter Bergman was young, he and a kid named Bruce Berger opened up a parking lot one night in an empty lot across from an Emporium show in the Midwest. As Peter put it, "We made $50 wearing Cleveland Indians baseball caps, yelling, "*Park and Lock It! Not Responsible!" PHENOMENA: Look's like you've got your phenomena scrambled. See {EGG}s. PICO: {ALVARADO}'s friend, as in "It's Pico and Alvarado". Another street in Los Angeles.They are also historical references: Pico and Alvarado were the last two Mexican governors of Alta California. There really is an intersection at Pico Blvd, and Alvarado, which used to boast, among other things, a decent Salvadoran restaurant. Much of the area was burned to the ground during the recent Disturbances... (let's just call them, the {PHENOMENA} :-) PICKLES: Lots of pickles in FT. {ROCKY ROCOCO} is always carrying some around in a brown paper bag, and often wears Pickle on a Rope perfume. "Pickles down the rat-hole!", says {HEMLOCK STONES}. On the old "Dear Friends" shows they used to have a squeeky pickle that you could hear every so often. PIG NITE: A fraternity party tradition: The idea is that you have a party and that each fraternity brother is supposed bring the ugliest girl he can find. The one with the ugliest girl gets some sort of prize. That is Pig Nite. Attended by {NICK DANGER}. PIZZA: Nick's Swell Pizza has a phone number very similar to {NICK DANGER}'s, when George {TIREBITER} tried to order one. On {TWO PLACES} we also hear: SCHNIFTER: Das ist immer alles Aulung und ist rauch mit and potzen Volkswagen und niemann stint und "Swell Pizza!!" Nick also fools {ROCOCO} in {YOLKS} by pretending to be a pizza delivery boy. PLAYER: Another {EVERYMAN}, in the record "Eat or Be Eaten", who, like {BABE}, has his adventures in a car. POOH: Winnie the Pooh has influence a number of FT lines. For example, Tom Teslacle says "It goes in and out like anything," which is a misquote of Eeyore (see {TESLACLE'S DEVIANT}) In addition, the FT would sometimes read directly from the Books of Pooh for each other's birthdays. POOH STICKS: Used to throw the {I CHING}. POOP: A character in many FT plays, who gives speeches with numerous spoonerisms and Freudian slips, eg. "In the words of the Foundry, er.. Founder, Ukaipa Heep,". Appears as Principal Poop in {DWARF}. PORRIDGE BIRD: A (mythical?) bird which lays its {EGG}s in the air. Why? See {WDTPBLHEITA}. PORGIE: Porgie {TIREBITER}. One of George Leroy {TIREBITER}'s many personas. Apparently motivated by Archie & Jughead, and by the old "Henry Aldrich" radio shows. The old radio show always started out: MOTHER: Henry! Henry Aldrich! HENRY: Coming, Mother! PRESIDENT: A popular ride in the {FUTURE FAIR}. You get to ask a question of the computer-operated President, and get a free simulfax copy of your question, together with his answer. {CLEM} broke the President by asking him about {PORRIDGE BIRD}s. ...{PAPOON} also ran for President! PROCTOR: Philip Proctor, one of the FT members. Plays the {POOP}, among many. [Q] --- QUID MALMBORG IN PLANO: A mysterious phrase which recurs in {BOZOS}. It was first exclaimed by the discoverer of {FUDD'S LAW}. No one (yet) seems to know its true origin, although it is said to have been written on a cigarette lighter that Phil Proctor used to have, and belonged to a person named Malmborg, who lived in Plano, Texas. This has since been confirmed by Peter Bergman. Another listener is convinced that he saw this pseudo-latin phrase inscribed in a drawing by Albrecht Duerer. The phrase seems to be a mixture of latin and middle-english: "Quid" may be translated from the latin root meaning "this/something/that", and "plano" simply means "flat/horizontal/smooth". The nearest translation of "malmborg" we are willing to conjecture is based on the Middle-English word "malm" which the OED tells us is a type of man-made chalky clay, which is often worked into "malm-bricks", so perhaps this phrase refers to the conversion of this(quid) clay into flat (plano) bricks, as consternation turns to lucidation. The mixture of ME and latin, together with the brick reference, may indicate a Freemason influence, but this is wild conjecture on the part of the editor. Many other theories abound. For example: malborg sounds suspiciously like 'malbolg' (malbolgia?). Malbolgia, as read-ers of Dante may remember, are the "bad pockets" of Hell, where the corrupt and treacherous souls simmer. Here one finds thieves, hypocrites, whores and panderers. Schismatics are ripped to pieces and reconstituted in an assembly-line manner, liars are steeped in a sea of shit. It is lower than that part of the Inferno where the sensual and brutal are found, and just above the lowest part, where Judas and a coterie of betrayers sit. Dante puts several nasty folks in Malbolgia, including a few popes. Nixon probably has (had) a reservation. [R] --- RALPH SPOILSPORT: A used-car salesman, based on Ralph William's ads in Los Angeles. Also refers to a kind of mantra, which when recited sounds like a used-car ad: "Hiya friend, Ralph Spoilsport, Ralph Spoilsport motors, the largest new-used and used-new dealership...". He appears in {TWO PLACES}. See {BABE} for a comparison between Ralph and Hermes, messenger of the gods. RANCHO MALARIO: A set of Clowndominiums build at a former indian reservation. Includes the famous "Trail of Tears" golf course. Mentioned in {TWO PLACES}, and also {EYKIW}, when Bob Hind was interviewing Buz and Bunny Krumhunger about their visit with the aliens. RAT: Rats are featured prominently in FT plays, notably, in {HEMLOCK STONES} "Tale of the Giant Rat of Sumatra", in the song "Rat in a Box" (in the {NICK DANGER} video, {YOLKS}), and in their play "The Year of the Rat". "The Giant Rat of Sumatra" is "a tale for which the world is not yet ready", which is a line attributed the the "real" Dr. Watson in "The Adventure of the Sussex Vampire" by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. REGNAD KCIN: See {NICK DANGER}, the other way around. See also {ANCHOVIES}. RESPONSIBLE: See {PARK}. ROACH: See {DWARF}. ROCOCO: See {ROCKY ROCOCO}. ROCKY ROCOCO: {NICK DANGER}'s nemesis. Rococo is an extended impression of Peter Lorre playing Joel Cairo in the film "The Maltese Falcon. His name is an apparent play on the Beatle's "Rocky Racoon". Rocky Rococo is known to be a {DWARF}, wear terrible perfumes, like "pyramid patchuli", and "pickle on a rope". He is also thought to be responsible for everything bad that happens in {OXNARD}. His main offensive tactic appears to be to put people on installment plans, and then pressure them when they can't keep up the payments. His Japanese counterpart may be Rocky Rocomoto, whose TV series, "Million-Dollar Monster Crasic" (on the {NOT INSANE} album), featured the Shake-a-speare play "Anythinge you want to", in addition to {YOUNG GUY}, Motor Detective. In Minneapolis and maybe nationwide, there is a pizzeria chain called "Rocky Rococco", with a Middle-Eastern looking guy in a white suit on the logo. [S] --- SAME OLD PLACE: The Old Same Place, in Santa Barbara, where {NANCY} and Catherwood, her butler/husband lived. See also {NICK DANGER}. SEPULVEEDA: A mis-pronounced street in Los Angeles in {NICK DANGER}. The actual street is Sepulveda. See also {PICO}, {ALVARADO}, {TAJUNGA}. SEEKER: There's a seeker born every minute! SFX: A standard radio term for "Sound Effects" man. Also known as "foley" in the entertainment/movie biz. {ROCKY ROCOCO} had to split his "half-a-key" with the SFX man. The tools used in SFX are often mixed up in FT plays with the real things they're supposed to imitate: see, eg, {CELLOPHANE}, {CORNSTARCH}. There are often SFX-reference jokes in FT, For example: NICK: [MUFFLED VOICE] Rocky Rococo, that sleazy weazle, how did he get in here? And... How do I make my voice do this? or: NANCY: [SLAPPING NOISE] Oh Nicky, Nick, Nick, Nick! Are you all right? NICK: [Coming To] Uhhh..Yes. NANCY: Then stop slapping me! SHAKESPEARE: What you can do from Louise Wong's {BALCONY}. SHOES: Shoes are ubiquitous in FT plays. "Shoes for industry!" "Don't take off your shoes!" (Porgie {TIREBITER} did), or if you're a {BOZO} you can inflate them. In the liner notes for the Bozo CD, Philip Austin says, "By now, any serious Firesign Theatre listener knows that 'taking off your shoes' serves us as an an anology for childhood itself and its attendant dreams of freedom." From the back page of the Variety Section of the Minneapolis Tribune, Oct. 28, 1993. An article written by Mike Harden, Scripps Howard News Service. Headline: FOR DECADES, SHE'S HELPED SUPPLY SHOES FOR DEAD It's about Alyce Maddox who's worked over forty years for Practical Burial Footwear, a company that makes special shoes for mortuaries to bury people in. Bottom of third column: "Shoes for the dead? Why bother?" Holy mudhead, mackerel! Life immitates art. SUGAR: A popular phrase in FT is "More Sugar!". We hear a voice yelling "More Sugar!" during Pastor Flashes' Hour of Reckoning, in the {DWARF} play, and mention is made of the "More Sugar Foundation" in the "Not Insane" album. From THE LAST BATTLE by C.S. Lewis, (c) 1956 Book 7 in the Chronicles of Narnia page 10 of the 1970 Collier edition: "But isn't everything right already?" said Puzzle. "What!" cried Shift. "Everything right? -- when there are no oranges or bananas?" "Well, you know," said Puzzle, "there aren't many people -- in fact, I don't think there's anyone but yourself -- who wants those sort of things." "There's sugar too," said Shift. "H'm, yes," said the Ass. "It would be nice if there was more sugar." SWELL: Swell {CHEESE}, which is put on Nick's Swell {PIZZA}. [T] --- TAJUNGA: Yet another mis-pronounced LA street name in {NICK DANGER}. Tujunga canyon is a bit north of Pasadena, and the FT used to perform there. TESLACLE'S DEVIANT: "Who goes in, must come out". This is a corollary to {FUDD'S LAW}, and is referred to in the {BOZO} play,and also in {HEMLOCK STONES}, Giant {RAT} of Sumatra play, where Stones chases the {ELECTRICIAN} into the bathroom, and continues to search, claiming, "what goes in must come out! Fudd's Law!" First enunciated by Tom Teslacle ( a reference to Nikolai Tesla) to Dick {BEDDOES}. See also {NANCY}. TIREBITER: The last name of George Leroy Tirebiter, anonther incarnation of P, the {EVERYMAN} in the FT's play {DWARF}. Also the name of the {YOLK}'S neighbors in the {NICK DANGER} video. The original George Tirebiter was a dog. In the liner notes for the Dwarf CD, Phil Austin writes: The dog, the immortal George Tirebiter, was the doughty unofficial mascot of USC (Univ. South. Calif.) athletic teams in earlier times, renowned for his devotion to attacking the spinning wheels of large American automobiles.... The five ages of George Leroy Tirebiter are these: -Tirebiter the Child, called Porge or Porgie. [###Porgie and Mudhead is verbal play on "Archie and Jughead"]. -Tirebiter the College Student, called George Tirebiter Camden N200-R. [###that's his last name] -Tirebiter the Soldier, called Lt. Tirebiter. -Tirebiter the Actor, Called Dave Casman. [###play on {OSSMAN}] -Tirebiter the Old Man, called George Leroy Tirebiter. It should also be mentioned that a sixth incarnation of Tirebiter, named George Matetsky, actually encounters his alter-ego {NICK DANGER}, an Early Bird Theatre presentation of a movie whose title starts with "Luck". George Matetsky was the real name of "The Mad Bomber" -- a real- life enraged weirdo in the 50's who used to blow things up and send ranting messages about his dislike for Pres. Eisenhower. This is quoted from the LA Times, "Only in L.A" column, at the bottom of page B2, Wed Nov 10, 1993: "...True, USC did boast an unofficial mascot named George Tirebiter for a few glorious years in the 1940s and 1950s.. Tirebiter, a scraggly mutt who wandered onto campus after his owner died, grew to be beloved for his nasty temper, which often manifested itself in chases after automobiles. So treasured was Tirebiter that miscreants from a rival school once captured him and shaved the letters "UCLA" into his coat. Alas, the hound tried to chew on one too many Firestones [tires] and was run over in 1950. The school newspaper eulogized: `Gone to heaven, where he will have cushion rides for breakfast, white sidewalls for lunch, and cold rubber recaps for dinner.' TORTURING: "Not to be Torturing Me!" Said by HIDEO {GUMP}, Jr., who played {YOUNG GUY}, Motor Detective. He was being tortured because "decision-making factor absent from brain", following a terrible brain- washing session in radio prison, at the hands of {BRADSHAW} ! TWO PLACES: "How Can You Be in Two Places At Once, when you're not Anywhere At All?" The record album containg the {EVERYMAN} story of {BABE}, and also the {NICK DANGER} episode, "Cut Em Off at the Past!" [U] --- UNDERHILL: Susan Underhill -- Another of {NANCY}'s last names. [V] --- VIOLET DUDLEY: An American ingenue in {HEMLOCK STONES}. [W] --- WALL OF SCIENCE: Another ride in the {FUTURE FAIR}, describing the evolution of the universe. "Man, woman, child, ALL are up against the WALL OF SCIENCE". Joes Hanes writes: ..an incisive parody of the 60's high school science films. The recounting of the history of life makes many allusions to real paleontology, e.g, "... sand dollar, which shrank to almost nothing at the bottom of the pool" refers to the fossil ancestors of all present day sand dollars, which apparently escaped a mass extinction by virtue of their extremely small size. " ... in the late Devouring period, fish became obnoxious" In the real late Devonian, fish became ubiquitous. WDTPBLHEITA: Why Does The Porridge Bird Lay His {EGGS}s In The Air? This question was asked by the character P in {ITWABOTB}, first directly to the {PRESIDENT}, who broke, and then to {DOCTOR MEMORY},who became confused, and shut down the whole {FUTURE FAIR}. Dr. Memory kept getting the question wrong, for example: "White dust 'n' perished birds leaves its hex in the air?" Nooo. "Wise doves 'n' parish bards lazy leg in the Eire?" Nooo. "Wise-ass the poor-rich Barney laser's edge in the fair?" This question was posed to {EVERYMAN} by the Leprechauns, although {BOB BUNNY} reported that he found it written on the Great Wall of Mars. {BOB BUNNY} asked this question of {HIDEO GUMP}, Jr, during a segment of {YOUNG GUY}, Motor Detective. Young Guy promised to answer the question tomorrow! Reports also indicate that in the record "Eat or Be Eaten", Laura asks {PLAYER} the question at the end of the record, to which Player replies, "Aw, that's the old Leprechaun scam... that's EASY!" An FT fan writes: This is definitely a classical reference, which I've been racking my brains for, but can't remember. It seems to me that some Greek or Roman historian (Herodotus?) describes a bird which does indeed lay its eggs in the air, with the obvious unfortunate result... [X] --- [Y] --- YOLK: The poorest people in the country, depicted in {NICK DANGER} and the "Case of the Missing Yolks" video. They lived in {OXNARD}, and "Didn't have half of what the have-nots had!". YOUNG GUY: Another FT private detective. "Young Guy, Motor Detective", played by {HIDEO GUMP}, Jr. [Z] --- ZEPELLIN TUBE: A source of immense power, possessed by the Sumatran {RAT}s in an adventure of {HEMLOCK STONES}. ZENO'S PARADOX: A paradox devised by the Greek philosopher Zeno, which seems to prove that motion as such is impossible; Reason: Consider an arrow flying towards a target. Before it gets to the target it must first get halfway there, but before it gets to that point it must first get 1/4 the way there, but before that (etc..) Since an infinite number of things must be done first, the arrow could never get *anywhere*; ergo, motion is impossible. This paradox is referred to indirectly in the {TWO PLACES} album, where {BABE} falls asleep in his car, while the talking freeway signs read off: "Antelope Freeway, one mile" "Antelope Freeway, one half mile" "Antelope Freeway, one quarter mile" "Antelope Freeway, one eighth mile" "Antelope Freeway, one sixteenth mile" "Antelope Freeway, one thirtysecondth mile" "Antelope Freeway, one sixty-fourth mile" "Antelope Freeway, one one-hundred-and-twenty-eighth mile" ... ZIPS: As in "I'm hip like a zip, let's take a trip". One of the {FIVE LIFESTYLES OF MAN} according to the FT. {BOZO} is an acronym for "The Brotherhood Of Zips and Others". -------------------------------------------------------------------------------