BOOK REVIEWS p.42 Copyright 1994 American Life League Until Death Do Us Part by Father Robert J. Fox and Father Charles Mangan Family Apostolate P.O. Box 55 Redfield, SD 57469 1993; 112 pp.; $4.95 plus $2.50 postage and handling Reviewed by Mary Walmsley The future of civilization depends on the family. Can anyone disagree? And yet we find ourselves living in a culture that is alarmingly contrary to furthering family values. Young people looking forward to marriage need careful guidance in the meaning of marriage and the role of the family. "Until Death Do Us Part" was written to fill that need. The basics of this book are widely accepted: Marriage is a covenant among a man, a woman and God Himself. It begins with making vows so that the couple walk back down the aisle in a new relationship. This covenant relationship endures until death; unconditional love is vital to its maintenance. Spouses must help each other get to heaven. Only God's help can make a marriage succeed - religion is essential. Father Fox and Father Mangan address the issue of human sexuality by presenting the Church's official teachings on natural family planning, its benefits and challenges. NFP is often misunderstood, especially by non-Catholics. Any couple will gain an advantage by reading this before deciding whether to practice NFP. The authors present well the permanency of marriage and the role of divorce. They understand that divorce neither erases a covenant vow nor gives permission to marry another. They do not, however, seem to see annulment as no less a stumbling-block than divorce when aiming to fulfill one's marriage vows until death. Even so, this little book is a helpful guide, especially for Catholics preparing for marriage. To them I would echo the authors' advice: "Don't put this small book aside lightly; it can affect your happiness in time and in eternity." For Better, ForWorse, For Keeps by Bob Moeller Multnomah Books 10209 SE Division St. Portland, OR 97266 1993; 194 pp.; $8.99 Reviewed by Mary Walmsley God's best plan for us in marriage is: one man, one wife, for life. In order that we be able to achieve the best, God Himself participates in the business of healing marriages, especially when a marriage comes into tough times. All too often a couple will use tough times as an opportunity to opt out of their commitment. "For Better, For Worse, For Keeps "recommends marriage renewal with God's help. When things go from bad to worse to unbearable, what choice is there? What is the way out? Separation, divorce, adultery or an "arrangement" all fall short of God's plan. The only way out of our problems is through them, says Moeller. "Forgiveness, surrender, and unselfishness - when offered in love and sincerity - are the elements of irresistible love. "Within the character of God there is grace - the unearned, unmerited, freely given favor of God. When all seems hopeless and feelings of love toward our spouse are only a memory, the grace of God can do what we never thought possible. It can breathe life into a marriage that died years ago. It can restore tenderness to arelationship crusted over by years of apathy and neglect. It can revive a first love that has occupied last place in our life." Bob Moeller presents the more common and negotiable problems of marriage in a straightforward and refreshing way. Well-chosen stories drawn from his own experiences enliven the text. Illustrations from Holy Scripture flow easily. Even the chapter titles are engaging, such as "If You Keep Your Vows, They'll Keep You" and "Investing in the Bonding Market: How to Repair a Marriage." By demonstrating the power of Christ working in people's lives today, "For Better, For Worse, For Keeps "offers hope for every marriage. Don't miss it. Marriage Is for Keeps: Foundations for Christian Marriage by John F. Kippley The Foundation for the Family, Inc P.O. Box 111184 Cincinnati, Ohio 45211 1994; 113 pp.; $6.95 Reviewed by Mary Walmsley What can any of us do to reclaim family stability for the future? One positive step is to be sure that our young people understand the spiritual dimension of marriage. Many people today do not realize that marriage is a three-way relationship among a man, a woman and God. Couples entering a Christian marriage should not only understand God's involvement in their union but discuss the implications and benefits for their future life together. "Marriage Is for Keeps "was written as an outline for just such a discussion. Although writing from a Catholic perspective, Kippley presents foundations of a Christian marriage that all Christians should consider: discipleship, what has to happen before you get married, the indissolubility of a marriage, marital chastity, the headship of the family, communication, birth control, finances, even the wedding and honeymoon. Kippley does well to present the discipleship of marriage as the first and foremost consideration. "The essential purpose of a Christian marriage is to help each other reach the goal of eternal life." We don't hear that often enough. It is this very concern for the partner's salvation that should enter every marital act and decision. If all Christian couples were to cling to that goal, the future of the family would be assured. On the whole this book fulfills the author's intent. Although there is much here for the person who does not share the full Catholic faith, it really is best suited for Catholics. -----------------------------------------------------------------------