The Garden
p.36
Copyright 1994 American Life League

PERMIT ME TO SUGGEST that we continue our reflection on the integral 
development of a child through the teen years by recalling the basic 
principles that must be put into practice if disaster is to be averted 
in matters relating to sexuality.

1. The purpose of education is to prepare students to live as God 
wants, not restricting their vision to the passing things of earth.

2. The family has priority of nature and thus of rights over civil 
society. Children are not born into civil society, they are born into a 
family. The purpose of civil society is to protect and nourish the 
unity, the basic prosperity, the loyalty to the fatherland, and right 
to worship God which is due to every family.

3. Children are an extension of the parents. The parents have the right 
as well as the strict obligation to educate their offspring and guide 
them to a balanced development of soul and body and talentsDand to show 
them by example and deed that they must respect the legitimate rights 
of others and help the disadvantaged.

4. Parents must insure that the education of their children remains 
under their control and absolutely refuse to send them to any school 
where there is danger of their children being taught anything that 
would lead them astray from righteousness.

5. Parents may not accept the decision of any school that they not 
question the scholastic program. They must be alert to make sure their 
children are not being told to keep something from their parents. If 
necessary, the parents have the right to bring charges against any 
school and let the chips fall where they may. Parents have a right to 
know what their children are being taught.

What about instruction in sexuality?

"As they [children] grow older they should receive a positive and 
prudent education in matters relating to sex" (Vatican II "Declaration 
on Christian Education," No. 1).

"Parents, first of all, and then teachers must try to lead their 
chargesDtheir children and their pupilsDby means of a complete 
education, to proper mental, affective and moral maturity. Thus, they 
will teach them about sex prudently and in a manner suited to their 
age. They will form their wills in accordance with Christian behavior, 
not only by giving them advice but also by the powerful example of 
their own lives, supported by God's help, obtained through prayer. They 
will protect them from the many dangers whose existence the young do 
not expect" (Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, "Declaration 
on Certain Problems of Sexual Ethics," No. 13).

"Sex education, which is a basic right and duty of parents, must always 
be carried out under their attentive guidance, whether at home or in 
educational centers chosen and controlled by them. In this regard, the 
Church reaffirms the law of subsidiarity, which the school is bound to 
observe when it cooperates in sex education, by entering into the same 
spirit that animates the parents.


"In this context education for chastity is absolutely essential, for it 
is a virtue that develops a person's authentic maturity and makes him 
or her capable of respecting and fostering the 'nuptial meaning' of the 
body. Indeed, Christian parents, discerning  the signs of God's call, 
will devote special attention and care to education in virginity and 
celibacy as the supreme form of that self-giving that constitutes the 
very meaning of human sexuality" (John Paul II, The Christian Family in 
the Modern World, No. 37).

Always answer a child's questions truthfully, in accordance with the 
child's age and development. Be content with answering the question. 
Avoid details that are not asked. Thousands of parents have been 
supported and helped by this method of imparting an integral education 
to their children. More than anyone else, they hold their children's 
souls in the palm of their hand.

Fr. Denis O'Brien, M.M.
Spiritual Director, A.L.L.
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