Sex Ed in Catholic Schools
p.24
by Virginia Dolajak, copyright 1993

MANY PEOPLE PUT THEIR children in Catholic schools to escape the 
terrible sex education programs in the public schools. But is this the 
answer? I will let you be the judge, yet much of what you read here you 
might not believe.

About two years ago our children's Catholic school invited the parents 
to take part in a committee to discuss a "human sexuality program." 
(The labels are not always so blatant: sex ed is sometimes included in 
classes on family life, health, home economics, etc.) My husband and I 
signed up. We were told that our diocese had ordered sexuality 
education to be included in the curricula of all Catholic schools and 
religious education programs. Soon we were told that if we didn't like 
it we could take our children out of the program, but that we had 
better not do anything to prevent the programs from being started in 
the school. Later, the principal told us that if we weren't going to 
have our children in the sex ed program we shouldn't be on the 
committee. When I pressed her, she said that this was a decision of the 
parish priest, the director and herself. We kept going to the meetings 
anyway.

At our first meeting we met the director, sent by the bishop. She would 
sit in on all our meetings. She asked our names and what we thought of 
a human sexuality program in our school. (We later discussed this 
privately and decided it had been the director's way of finding out who 
was for the program and who was against it.)

Some of the reasons given for sex education were: kids need to know for 
health reasons; it's all over TV and the movies, so kids need to know; 
parents don't do the job and teach kids the facts, because parents are 
uncomfortable with their own sexuality. (No one had sent us a survey 
and asked if we did our job; anyway, it's none of the school's business 
how or when we tell our children.) Nevertheless, the director reminded 
us over and over that we are the prime educators of our children. 
Little good that did us while we were sitting on the committee! 

I suggested that parents could easily handle sex education at home 
using the good books on the market and teaching our children in private 
as our parents had taught us. Someone objected that the books do not 
have an imprimatur. Not true: a number of good books do have the 
blessing of the Church.

Still, it was obvious that sex ed would be instituted in our children's 
school. We were told that starting the program in the earlier grades 
and with boys and girls mixed together teaches them to have respect for 
each other. (Many argue that it breaks down modesty and desensitizes 
young children.)

We were invited to take home the student and teacher manuals and 
examine them. There were two programs to choose from: the Benziger 
Family Life program and the New Creation series. (We were supposed to 
meet again a month later, exchange the books with other parents on the 
committee, and take home a new group of books to examine. It never 
happened.)


The New Creation series did not arrive unopposed, although the 
controversial history of this program was not reported to the parents 
on the committee until we brought it up. The New Creation series had 
caused a stir at another school in our city a few years earlier. We 
were told that it had been revised and was now okay to use. The 
director reminded us that she came with the full backing of the bishop.

One of the things we found objectionable in the New Creation series was 
that the name of Judy Blume, a novelist, appeared on the suggested 
reading list in the teacher's manual from third grade onward.

"How many of you parents know who Judy Blume is?" I asked. No one 
moved, so I told them about one of her books I had checked out of the 
city library. The book was filled with explicit discussions of sexual 
relations between two unmarried teenagers. The girl in the story went 
to a Planned Parenthood clinic to get birth control pills so that she 
could have sex with her boyfriend on his birthday as a present.

I had also asked one teenage girl, a neighbor of ours, if she knew who 
Judy Blume was. "They have her books in our public school library," she 
answered, "and the girls check them out and read about all the sex in 
them and then we sit in class and laugh about it."

Another recommendation in the teacher's manual (for eighth grade) is to 
have a medical professional (with the approval of the parents) come to 
the school to discuss all methods of birth control and their 
reliability. I sternly objected: "What does the Catholic Church teach 
us about artificial birth control?" 

Some of the parents loudly disagreed with me, many of them yelling at 
me at the same time. "Mrs. Dolajak," one mother asked, "when your girls 
are old enough, wouldn't you rather have them on birth control so they 
don't get pregnant or worse yet get AIDS and die?"

"No," I replied, "I want them to be taught how to keep themselves pure, 
as our Church teaches. Besides, birth control will not prevent AIDS."

Birth control was not the only area in which the educators and some 
parents were willing to deviate from the Church's teaching. One father 
wanted to address the changes the Church has made. His example was that 
the Catholic Church used to be against divorce, but that they allow it 
now. (Not true, although annulments have been abused.)

At a meeting in another town, one man asked her, "What are the names of 
the books you are bringing to put in our school?"

"We cannot talk about this tonight!" the director yelled at him. "It 
will take a committee to decide this. Are you going to go against Rome? 
This is what the Holy Father wants for your children!"

The group sat there  stunned. The poor gentleman slithered back down in 
his chair. He was brave enough to raise his hand and ask pretty much 
the same question only to be shouted down again. 

A few weeks later, at another meeting, I asked the director, "Does the 
Holy Father have a timetable when he wants sex education put in all the 
Catholic schools and CCD programs?"

"The Holy Father!" she answered. "This has nothing to do with the Holy 
Father. This is from the U.S. Catholic bishops." She also objected to 

my use of the words "sex education." She wanted me to call it "the 
human sexuality program."

Another parent was threatened with libel for stating that 24 students 
had left another school over the New Creation series and related 
issues.

The director handed us another surprise. She criticized us for opposing 
a comprehensive health bill passed by the North Dakota legislature. 
Guidelines for the health program listed for references such 
organizations as Planned Parenthood, the Sex Information and Education 
Council of the United States, and the Center for Population Options.

The guidelines also discussed using condoms for "safer sex," and one of 
the prescribed objectives was that kindergarten students should be able 
to define the word "choice." 

We tried to resolve all these issues with the bishop and with the 
director. Neither agreed to meet with us personally. 

The principal told me that I could not take the teacher's manuals home. 
If I wanted to see them, I could come to the office and look at them. 
At the time, we had a new baby who was very colicky and I was not going 
to bring her to the principal's office. Therefore, I had no practical 
way of examining the books, except for the few we were allowed to bring 
home from the first meeting. So much for parental involvement: 
apparently it works in only one direction. We are supposed to approve 
whatever the educators want to do.

As a Catholic who was taught in a good Catholic school, I am proud of 
my faith. My parents were never told, "If you don't like things, you 
can take your children out." I don't believe for a minute that the 
current situation is what the Holy Father wants. He wants to help build 
families, not pit parents against one another.

Unfortunately, it will be our duty to keep our children out of the 
Catholic school and to teach them ourselves. We are using authentic 
Catholic books and will do the best we can. We have established a 
library in our home and will move forward. We pray that just one bishop 
or priest will take the time to research the materials and see exactly 
what some Catholic schools in our diocese are presenting to young, 
innocent minds and souls.

Virginia Dolajak lives in Bismarck, ND. This article appeared in 
Catholic Family News in 1993.

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