Hey, do I look like I know? Maybe you should try another question? I'm following... go on. I think I know what you mean. Can you elaborate? Hey, what time is it? What'cha callin' about anywhoooo? Say, have you seen what is going on in Europe? Did you try out any of the doors on the BBS yet? Do you suppose that Saddam will try to attack Israel again? Whatdaya think about witchcraft? Got any opinions about pagans? Have you accepted Jesus as your Lord yet? There is a lot of wierd stuff going on in the world just now, isn't there? Are you sure? Do you believe in God? Do you work with computers? Do you think that computers can think? Do you want me to go away? Perhaps if you told me to just quit. Are you sure that it's not meant for someone else? Very interesting. Does this have any special significance? :-) Do you believe in artificial intelligence? Do you think the Soviet Union is going to go fascist? Are you happy about this? Does this make you sad? Hope not :-) Please continue. I'm following right along... Are you a computer? Do you think God exists? I'm sure you are on target and I agree fully! Right. I tend to agree. I see. How can that be? Can ya tell me more? That's arguable depending on how ya look at it. Are you following the news lately? It's enough to scare ya silly... no? I'm almost _certain_ you're a computer. Have you ever read the Bible from cover to cover? What kinda system ya got there? But that doesn't make any sense. Tell me again in a different way, ok? I'm not sure about that... I was reading netmail the other day and there was a message in it about you. How's things look from over there? I've been trying to fix things up a bit... can you tell? Don't worry, I'm fluent in weirdo... Are you getting any line noise? The strangest thing just happened... Do you hear an air-raid siren? Say, have you thought about getting a 486 yet? Somebody told me you have a dog. Is that right? Is your car working better? My car is on the fritz again, as usual.. :-( There's supposed to be a really good movie on tonight. I had a life once, now I have a computer... alway something, it seems. I have to stop now, my fingers are getting hoarse! I just can not resist a little fun along the way. :-) Do you have any Grey Poupon? You know the meter man that comes and reads your meters? I am. Therefore, I think. I think. I can SPELL, I just can't TYPE worth a hoot! K-mart has their computers on sale this weekend! I can't believe my computer's on fire. Do you have any 3.5 floppies I can borrow? I ate at the burger joint up town the other day and there was a fly in it! I feel fine... Everything seems a little smaller. I find push buttons very depressing...... I got it all together, then forgot where I put it. Do you know where it is? Did you see that special on TV the other night? I just play here. I read in the World News that there was a 52 foot long snake in this guy's attic. I know so little, but I know it fluently... Can you give me some pointers on using Windows? I love my computer. It's made in Taiwa~##$ ` #@ Ooops! Did you quit smoking yet? How's things at the office? I remember when Saturns were rockets, not cars. Do you? Is it chilly in here or is it just me? I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. What do you think? I was thinking about getting a new computer. Do you think I should? Hey, have you seen the new modems they got? I want everything; do you have it?? I was going to procrastinate, but I put it off.... What ya think about Billy's plan to have us all medically insured? Will they ever get out of Somolia? I heard the other day that our taxes are gonna go up again! Is it me, or does it seem to you that things are getting more expensive? Had you check-up yet? I went to the doctor the other day... eeeeeek! Did you watch CNN yesterday? They had this story about a UFO! I've got 256K of RAM, so why can't I run Windows 3.0? I've got a mind like a... a... what's that thing called? Have you thought anymore about getting that motorcycle? How's your phone bill with that modem you got there? What's kindo computer you got anyway? If there was a nuclear bombing, would we be alive to care? If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance. How about you? Insanity is just a state of mind, isn't it? Insanity runs in my family; it practically gallops... whadday think? Is it still paranoia if they ARE ALL out to get us? You gotta cat? Did you go to church on Sunday? It doesn't work, but it looks pretty... oh, well Did I hear it right?!?! Somebody was saying you were pretty sick? There's a full moon next week. Did you start your Christmas shopping yet? The other day, I had this creditor call me... what a jerk!!! You ever borrow any big money? It's d‚j… vu all over again. Right? It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is...dead, Jim. (sorry, couldn't resist) Joseph Stalin's grave was a Communist Plot. Pretty good, eh? Junk: stuff we throw away. Stuff: junk we keep. Sound familiar? Are you just another inmate in this ASYLUM!!! They're coming to take us away, you know... I just cannot resist a little fun along the way. :-) Uhhh... sorry, I can't tell what you mean. Say it again, eh? You like my typing? I've been working on keyboarding. Last yur I kudnt spel modjerater now I are won. Let's organize this thing and take all the fun out of it. Whaddya say? How's school been going lately? Madness takes its toll - please have exact change... ;-) Make me an offer. I have a computer to support!! Make me breakfast and perhaps I'll consider it. Man who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet, many moons! Hehehe! I've had the same dream over and over and over... weird! Do you dream much? I sure feel old today... I sure wish I had a better monitor! How's yours? I heard the other day that Bill Clinton chews tobacco!! Can you believe it!?! Do you listen to WDLM? I just hate the TV... 57 channels and nothing on! Did you ever eat jalapeno peppers? Oh, my.... Hey, let's order a pizza, whaddya say? I haven't had a chance to sit still all day. How about you? You sure have been busy lately! Is there a full moon tonight? Hey, did you see what happened up town the other night? Do you have a good library that you go to much? Hey, what should I do about this guy that keeps following me around? I hate Mondays... you too? I gotta phone bill last month for $300 big ones.... YIKES! Do you use a multitasker with your computer? My Mother loves ME! It's the computer she hates. My dad hit me only once - with the Buick... My haystack had no needle! I wonder why? My mother is NEVER on time! You seem tired... had a hard day? You sure seem like a busy person! My teeth aren't the sharpest in the world. You have any good ideas for a diet? There's a mosquito in here! Just what I need... Somebody told me you were on a diet. Is that right?!? I'm thoroughly disgusted with the Post Office! Is there something in the water or is it just me? I keep hearing a buzzing sound! I'm from Iowa. Oh no, not another learning experience! Okay - right after this one we're BACK to the TOPIC! You got any family living around your place? On the other hand..you have five different fingers... don't I? ;-) Once you understand your computer it is obsolete. Right? Please tell me if you don't get this message, ok? I gotta get some new software for modeming... any suggestions? Push any key. Then push the any other key. Thanks! Put your hard drive to your ear. Can you hear the C: ? Cute or what? Quick! Close your mind!! Something might get in. Sane? If I was sane why would I be here? Show me a sane man. I'll cure him for you. Smile! You're on Candid Modem! Some minds should be cultivated, others plowed under...­ Neat, eh? Some people are, through no fault of their own, sane. What's your excuse? Somebody got up on the wrong side this morning... which one of us was it? Sorry... my mind has a few bad sectors. Can you try it again? Split personality? Who, us? Tell me more about these 'habits', ok? I think it is a conspiracy! Hey, what's your favorite candy? The future isn't what it used to be... The irony of life is that no one gets out alive... The moving cat sheds, and having shed, moves on... The number you call from has been disconnected. Who are you talking to? Who can say what's around the corner? Who the Dickens wrote Oliver Twist, anyway? Why are apartments so close together? Why is 'easy listening' so hard to listen to? I need your help, ok? Yes, I know I'm off-topic. Thank you for your concern. There is more to reality than meets the eye... Not on your life! You gotta be kidding! Right? All stressed out, and no one to choke? And I thought I had problems! Are you out of my mind? Do it now! There might be a law against it tomorrow. There's a BIG spider crawling on my wall... EEEEEKKK! I can't use Windows. My cat ate my mouse. Well, what else have you been up to? I feel better now. I got lost in thought. It was an unfamiliar territory... hehe. I have a firm grip on reality. Now I can strangle it. I is knot dain bramaged!!! I smell a rat. Did you bake it or fry it? I went mad once. Did me a world of good. I would like to buy a fishing liscence some day. Have you been swimming lately? If a tree fell on a florist, would he make a sound? Hey, when does life start to get easier? If at first you don't succeed, join the club. If at first you don't suceed, you're about normal. If Clinton is the answer, the question must be stupid... ya think? If corn oil is made from corn, what's baby oil made from? If flies couldn't fly, would they be called walks? If guns are outlawed, can we use swords? If puns are outlawed, only outlaws will have puns. My computer's sick. I think my modem is a carrier. My mama done tol' me... My other computer is even slower. Silly question, no? EEEKK! That spider I was talkiing about is getting closer! There are two sides to every question. We are but dust and shadow. Why are you worried? We need more unemployed politicians... who's first in line? Where are we going? And why are we in this handbasket? Why are Chinese fortune cookies written in English? How's the weather over there? Did you get a new car yet? I think I will buy a quart of milk and some bread later on. Do you eat breakfast? Do you have any steak in your freezer? There it was again!!! Are you sure you don't hear it? Is it cold in here or is it just me? When did you start modeming, anyway? Have you called Prodigy? Do you call Compuserve? Don't you call GEnie now and then? Say, can you tell me what is a Habenaro pepper? Have you ever eaten snake? I had some the other day... yummm! I heard you were having trouble sleeping... how come?