A long time ago when I was what you call "friends" with Paul, one day
in school, his friend Nick (and my friend) said, "Mickey Mouse fucking sucks!"
as you know, Paul loves Mickey.  So when I heard that I don't like Mickey too
much so I said, "Yeah".  Then Paul turned around and said, "I'm not friends 
with you or you" (pointing to Nick and I).  So later on that day I said, "Paul
F*%K YOU!!!".  He went to the bathroom and cried.  This happened in late in
the first quarter.  Right now when I'm making this game, we only have 18 days
of school left.  He hasn't even said one word to me.  Well, that's the story
with Paul Waguespack in this game.  Now to the story about Harv.  He's my dad.
He's the coolest dad there is.  He buys me all kinds of computer games lends
me money when I need it.  I put him in the game because when ever I call him 
that, my brother's friends, that are like 18 right after me say, "Hey Harv, 
how's it going?".  He doesn't like the name too much when we call him that but
he doesn't say anything.  Oh yeah, the programmer of this game, me, Ryan 
Gravlin is only 13 years old.  Now you might say, no, it couldn't be.  Well it 
is. You can call me up and ask me.  You're gonna ask me how I could have done  
this whole game.  Well, I program in Turbo C++, QBasic, and QuickBasic.  You  
may not believe that but it's true.  You can call me up, go ahead.  My number  
is in the game. There are many secret keys and stuff in the game but you'll  
never figure out how to escape death.... never.  You may not believe all of  
this stuff that I'm telling you but it's all true.  I like making games and 
stuff because it's really fun.  I hope you like the game.  If you want the hi- 
nt book, send me a stamped envolope name and address and 5$.  It will give y- 
ou all of the secrets and little things I have got in the game, like.... well  
... leave that to the hint book and stupid people that try to get all of the
secrets in the game.  If you do want the hint book or the Registered Version  
of Totally Smashed, send me a thingy.  I mean, read the REGISTER.DOC and the  
HINT.DOC, print them out and send them in.  I'm just waiting for money.  The  
registered version has many other options like `Dising people and Zonking them
Those are the coolest options on the game.  If you don't have those you should
n't even play, because they are soooooo cool.  Oh yeah, if you register, you m
ust have your name on it so I can put it on the Title Screen.  When you regist
er the game, will load up and print on the screen, "This Game Is Registered To 
(YOUR NAME)! Now doesn't that sound really coooooooool.  So register today.


                                Hope you have fun,
                                    The Master Rhinehole