Dear Dr. Ascii:

What do I do with floppy disks which are unreadable?

Ms. ARIF (Abort, Retry, Ignore, Fail)


Dear Ms. ARIF:

For 5¬" disks, I suggest a game of FlopShoes.

LIST OF NECESSITIES:

You need a pile of floppy disks. If each player can have her own colour or
label, so much the better.

You need a pen or pencil. Pencil usually works better.

LIST OF INSTRUCTIONS:

1) Shove pencil or pen into a crack in the floor.  Vertical is the default
orientation.

2) Step back three paces.  This distance may be varied according to the
sobriety and skill of the players and the dimensions of the cabin.

3) Place the floppy disk over the pencil.  Two points for ringers and one point
for leaners.

3«" disks make good coasters.

OTHER GAMES:

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

For 5¬" disks, try plastic surgery.  This is good for disks which have been
crimped in the bowels of the Pist Office.

You need: knife or scissors, cellophane tape or similar, donor disk.  Tissue
paper, non-magnetic tweezers, or very clean fingers.

Make an incision in the donor disk.  Cut along the top of the disk at the
fold.  Do not remove any material.

Make a similar incision in the sick disk.

Remove the floppy medium from the donor and dispose.

Carefully remove the medium from the disabled disk.  Be careful not to scratch
the medium.  No fingerprints.  No dust.  No cat hairs.  Dispose of the old
body.

Transplant the disabled medium into the donor body.

Close incision with cellophane tape, or equivalent.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

3«" disks.

1) Check the shutter.  If the shutter is slightly bent, then straighten it.

2) If the shutter is badly damaged, remove it.  There is a small wire spring
which should not be deposited in your keyboard.

3) If the body is cracked, splint it with cellophane mending tape.

4) If the body is broken into pieces, evaluate for a medium transplant.  Do not
attempt to read until all sharp parts have been stabilized.


Dr. Jack Ascii
Qual. Ass. Eng.