TIME Copywright (c) 1995 by Dave Byter, proliferate freely. What's time to a geologist? A geologist's unit of time is the megayear. That's a million years, for those of you who haven't yet learned your metric system. A few million years ago there were giant animals living in a sort of tropical paradise. Man was but big monkey who could throw sticks. A few tens of millions of years ago our ancestors were just another funny rat in the jungle. And a few hundred megayears ago our ancestors were little more than ugly fish. Time for an archaeologist is measured in kiloyears. A few kiloyears ago man was changing from small groups of hunter- -gatherers roaming about the countryside, to a city builder with a written history. A few tens of kiloyears ago man was a big carnivorous ape who could build a fire and make a spear. A few hundred kiloyears ago he was some dumb ape trying to run without putting his front paws on the ground. Time for a historian is measured in years. A few years ago we put a movie actor in The White House and a Pole in The Vatican. A few tens of years ago Capitalism was beginning the petrochemical age, also known as the Garb Age. A few hundred years ago, White Man was just beginning to expand out of Europe. Time for the common man is measured in days. A few days ago he got his paycheck. A few months ago, er ah um, I don't remember anything special that long ago. Time for the electronics engineer is measured in microseconds. A few microseconds ago his electrons were running in the other direction. Well, another 0.000001 megayear has passed. Have you ever thought about how difficult it is to communicate with someone who holds a different concept of time than do you? What do I say to an electronics engineer? It seems like a long time, about 30 quadrillion nanoseconds? See what I mean? It used to be the physicists who could put together the whole concept of time, from femtoseconds to terayears. Now they all work for the Department of Energy, building bigger and better bombs. They hope that time will last long enough for them to enjoy their next paycheck. 30 nanoseconds doesn't seem like so much time. I mean, I can't think about it. Literally, like the clock speed of my brain is so slow that it is essentially in the same state that it was in 30 nanoseconds ago. It takes millions of nanoseconds to think about a nanosecond. A logical impossibility. 30 megayears really isn't long ago, when you stop to think about it. Should you somehow step through a timehole and come out 30 megayears ago, you wouldn't see all that much difference. You should bring a boat, because the land was mostly ocean, just like now. Unless you brought your oceanographer, you wouldn't notice anything very unusual. Should you make landfall, you would probably see some rather unusual plants and animals. Is it Papua or Pago Pago? Don't bother asking the natives. They don't speak your lingo, and some are more than a little cannibalistic. Don't get the idea that there are any of those extraordinary monkeys. The ones that have the funny fur and walk on their hind legs. But almost everybody else is there. All the weird bugs and beasts that you would expect to see in some exotic or exchronic place. *The Exchronos Courier Corporation, Unlimited, states that it specifically denies that any of it's couriers are, ever were, or ever shall be, involved in the smuggling of contraband. However, each courier is allowed to chose the ballast mass transchronned along with the body and payload. We maintain our own Customs Office and maintain a constant liaison with the Customs Office of the host time, as well as with our own time. We specify that the ballast mass be specifically legal in both times, and that no materials be transchronned which would have an adverse impact upon either the host time or our own time. Environmental Impact Statements may be required for any or all of this material. The Exchronos Courier Corporation, Unlimited, states that it is, always has been, and always shall be engaged in the transchronning of fine pharmaceuticals for private clients.