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l              A VISIT FROM THE CAVE RATS

'Twas the night before Christmas...
And all through The Hole
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even a mole.
The Bluewater hung down The Chimney with care
In hopes Brother Nicholas soon would be there.
The bedding planes nestled
All snug in their beds,
While visions of anastomoses danced in their heads.
And Maw in her hardhat
And I in my cap
Had just settled down
For a long Winter's nap,
When from The Big Room there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bag to see what was the matter.
Away to The Windows I flew like a flash,
And I swore that I'd change my brand of hash.
My lamp as it glimmered on selenite snow
Gave illusions of midnight to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a pack of Rats all loaded with gear,
With a camera case and the Lavender Bat,
I knew in a moment it must be Chief Rat.
More rapid than hodags these Cave Rats they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
"Now Burckey! Now, Barrett! Now T.J. and Boiesy!
On, Snodgrass! On Melvin! On, Bobby and Brucey!
To the top of The Dome,
To the top of The Wall!
Now, cave away! Cave away!
Cave away, all!"

As mad bats which before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up Devil's Staircase these Cave Rats they flew
With a gurnee of gorp and pit gear too.
And then in a twinkling I heard 'hind my back
The huffing and puffing of each struggling Rat.
As I drew in my head and was turning around,
Down The Chimney, Chief Rat came with a bound.
He was covered with mud from his head to his toes,
His caveralls were covered with patches and holes.
A bundle of gear he had flung on the sand,
And he looked like Bob Liebman just op'ning his van.
His eyes--how they squinted! His clothes--billowed steam!
I knew this must be a very bad dream!
A scrape on his nose was dribbling his blood,
And the beard on his chin was packed full of mud.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had sand in his teeth and more in his belly
He was sweaty and slimy and really quite smelly.
He was long and lanky,
A right frightful old troll,
But I laughed when I saw him, in spite of my soul.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word but went straight to his work,
And he filled all the pigs, then he turned with a jerk,
And laying a line and thumbing his nose,
And giving a nod, up The Chimney he rose.
He sprang to the lead, to his team gave a shout,
"Do any of you know the <CENSORED> way out?"
And I heard him exclaim as they crawled out of sight--
"Happy caving y'all and y'all have a good night!"

Copyright (c)1995 by David Perry Beiter and Clement Clarke Moore

                         CAVE, Inc
                       1/2 Fast Road
                     Ritner, KY  42639
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