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`0    A computer programming seminar is being conducted in the hallway.
`0    Some woman says 'I can't seem to bind my grid to the data control.
`0    A little flasher asks 'Have you seen my Dynamic Link Libraries?'
`0    A little flasher asks 'Wanna see my floppy disk?'
`0    A little flasher says 'let me show you my recursive subroutines.'
`0    A little flasher reveals his Hidden Object Properties.
`0    'Wanna see my Custom Controls?' asks a little flasher.
`0    The hallway is currently flooded with purple jell-o.
`0    thousands of microscopic organisms are pummeling your body.
`0    Several unidentifiable patients are pacing the hallway.
`0    Victor the Smiling Fool is professing that the world is ending.
`0    A short, fat man is sitting in the floor biting his toenails.
`0    Harriet of Mars is passing out literature about space exploration.
`0    A skinny little wimp is sumo-wrestling a baby elephant.
`0    Harvey the Happy Hobo is crying as he reads the script from Dumb & Dumber.
`0    A long-haired freak shouts 'I am the prophet' as he brushes past you.
`0    Infected Charlie grins as he shows you his open wounds.
`0    An airline stewardess is telling every passer-by to use the vomit bags.
`0    A mysterious vortex has appeared in the air.
`0    The ghost of Elvis floats by and says 'I'm dead!  Get over it!'
`0    The three stooges (or their evil twins) are playing blackjack.
`0    'I am the great Cornholio!' snickers a little blond-haired teenager.
`0    A dark-haired teen slaps your knee and says 'watch it, you buttmunch.
`0    A dark-haired teen is picking his nose in a dark corner of the hall.
`0    'Uh, like, uhhh... I don't belong here and stuff,' says a dark-haired teen.
`0    'Ha hu hu hee hee hu hu hu,' says a moronic blond-haired youth.
`0    'How much for zee women?' asks a little guy in a sombrero.
`0    You can feel breath on your neck, but you turn swiftly to see nobody.
`0    A vaguely familiar old man is shaking is head, saying 'I am not a crook.'
`0    A tent has been erected in the hall, and a pack of Boy Scouts are camping.
`0    The Nine Inch Nails fan club is holding a meeting in the hallway.
`0    The Faith No More fan club is holding a meeting in the hallway.
`0    The Stone Temple Pilots fan club is holding a meeting in the hallway.
`0    A man resembling Shakespeare is dancing around in a leotard.
`0    Spartacus is stumbling around in a daze (as usual)... shock therapy again.