:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
              :              HOTLINE! - Number 2              :
              :       (c) 1987 by James A. Zachary, Jr.       :
              :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
 
 
The telephone at the water and sewage department is often busy with calls from
customers concerned with public health matters...
 
RING!
 
>Southeast Treatment Plant, this is Zack...
 
"Is this the water department?"
 
>Yes Ma'am, for most of this area...
 
"Good. I have some very technical questions to ask you about the water"
 
>I'll try and help...
 
"Why are my nipples getting so hard?"
 
>You're not really serious...
 
"I AM SO!! My nipples...  they're hard and they have this white coating on
them!"
 
>Uhhhh, huh...  hard, uhhh, nipples with white, uhh...  stuff...
 
"Not only that, they're getting warped!"
 
>I see...
 
"They used to be soft, pink and round!"
 
>I'm sure they were...
 
"Now they really look disgusting!"
 
>I'm sure they do...
 
"So I want to know what you're going to do about this!"
 
>I really don't think I can help you. Have you discussed this with your
personal physician?
 
"Yes I have! He said I should call you because he thought it was from the
water!"
 
>I see...  uhhhh, just why and how does he think the water is causing this?
 
"He said cleaning them in boiling water sometimes does that"
 
>Sounds painful...  can't you just sponge them off?
 
"Painful?! THE BABY BOTTLE NIPPLES ARE THE ONES I'M TALKING ABOUT!"
 
>Now I understand...
 
"Are you going to buy me new ones?"
 
>Why would we do that?
 
"Because your water ruined these. My baby won't suck them anymore. He's been sic
k and I think it's from the white stuff...  he used to really suck..."
 
>May I ask how old your baby is?
 
"He's six, going on seven"
 
>Six...  and he refuses the bottle? Maybe he's getting a little old for the
bottle...
 
"DON'T TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY CHILD!"
 
>I wasn't. How long have you been using these nipples?
 
"Since he was born"
 
>Hmmmmm.  My guess is the white film is from the calcium carbonate in the
water...  kind of like bathtub ring of the nipple...
 
"AND?!"
 
>... and they are hard and warped because of being boiled and bitten for six
years...
 
"So! You are refusing to pay!>
 
>Well, that's not for me to decide. I was only trying to suggest they might
just be plain worn out.
 
"THEY WOULDN'T BE WORN OUT IF YOUR WATER WAS ANY GOOD!"
 
>There is really nothing more I can do for you...
 
"JUST HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY MONEY?"
 
>Well, why not grab your nipples and run down to our main office. There you can
file an insurance claim...
 
"What good would that do? Will they give me the money?"
 
>They will investigate and make a judgement whether to settle or not...
 
"Well, you sure haven't been any help! How do I get them to pay more attention
than you have?"
 
>Just show them your nipples...