Parables of The Guru Baba Ghanoush.
 
In the words of the Belgian latitudinarian, Pierre de la Microcode,  "sometimes
the strangest things can lead to enlightenment."
 
We begin, as the Guru teaches, with the parables of Baba Ghanoush.
 
The Tale of the Texans.
 
In ancient times, there was a mighty tribe that called themselves Texans.
Their leader, Volume, was an ungodly man, and his works were an abomination
unto the Lord and the Finance Department.  The men of Texas coveted the market
of Commodore, and lusted after it in their hearts.  They asked counsel from a
false guru, who did project.  They knelt at his feet and prayed, "Guru, we
beseech thee, how many shipments shall be shipped, that Volume may know their
number, and prosper from them?"  And the guru consulted his false software, and
made his projections, and prophesied, "Seven million shall be shipped, praise
to the Model."  And the men of Texas girded their loins and readied their
capacity, and did laugh at their competitors, who had no mighty Volume to lead
them.
 
        But the Lord was wroth with the men of Texas, and caused the people to
buy but one home computer each, and a great pestilence fell upon the tribe.
Its name was Inventory, and it was sorely feared.  But the men of Texas did not
hearken to the Lord, and asked again of the false guru, "Guru, how many
shipments shall be shipped?"  And the false Guru replied, "A certain softness
is developing in the market, which is not demonstrating the price-elasticity
the Model spoke of.  Let us say, 4 million units."
 
        And the men of Texas did weep and rend their production targets, but
the fiend Inventory would not be stayed.  And the Lord did smite the men of
Texas, unto the components and the components of components, and there was
great weeping in the land, and gnashing of consultants.
 
        Yet the man of Texas hardened their hearts unto the Lord, and went
again unto the false guru, and did say, "Guru, what shall we do next?"  And the
false guru consulted his Model and said, "MS/DOS is the way to go.  The market
for MS/DOS desktops is growing at 400% annually.  Also, portables look nice."
 
 
The Curse Of Osborne.
 
There was in the great lands of the West a man who hearkened not to the word of
the Lord,  This man whored among the venture capitalists who jested as the
invested, saying, "Verily, this is a surefire thing."  And the man showed them
the preachings of the false gurus, that did demonstrate 400% annual growth in
personal computers, compounded annually through 2010.  And they rejoiced, and
built him a mighty plant, and did offer him much capital.
 
        But the Lord did not look with favor upon the man and did smite his
cash flow with a great smiting, and the company did fold.  And the venture
capitalists cried a great cry, and summoned their attorneys, saying, "We hath
been ripped off!"  But the Lord smote them further, and their attorneys.
 
        But the venture capitalists hardened their hearts against the Lord, and
did invest in others who were like unto the man, and they did hearken unto the
words of these men, and did say, "Lo, 400% is a big figure.  We must invest,
for verily, this is a surefire thing." And the Lord did wonder why he bothered.
 
 
The Tale of the Peanut.
 
There once was a man in the land of Boca, who did good in the sight of the
Lord, and the Lord did cause him to prosper.  His PCs did go forth and
multiply, and were as stars in the heavens, yea, a great multitude, as grains
of sand upon the seashore, or applications unto the Apple IIc.  And the Lord
did look, and it was good.
 
        But the man waxed proud, and hardened his heart against the Lord.  And
the Lord spoke unto him, saying, "Don, the PC doth prosper, but perhaps it is
time for a revamp."  And the man laughed at the Lord, saying, "Verily, we have
wrought a great multitude of PCs, and our DOS is worshipped in the land.
Business Week has said nice things about us, and none may stand against us.
Our PC shall live forever, and its software shall be supported unto the fourth
generation, and we shall make little PCs to exceed our most optimistic
projections."
 
        And the Lord was vexed with the man, who had grown so proud.  And the
Lord moved his spirit on the face of the media, and there was a great cry of
"Peanut!"  But still the man hearkened not unto the Lord, and did summon his
marketing managers and say unto them, "Heed not the Cry of the people, but let
your eyes be fixed upon the schedule."
 
        But the Lord did smite the man, and the people did rise up and cry
"Peanut," and there was a great leaking in the land.  And the man did yield to
the people, and did present the Peanut unto them, and did say, "Lo, behold the
Peanut.  It shall be unto you as the PC, and shall speak unto your TV sets."
And the Lord did cause the people to look upon the Peanut, and the scales did
fall from their eyes, and they saw not the man and his power.  And they did
say, "This thing?"  And the people did cry out, "Chiclets!"  and did demand to
run their PC applications on the Peanut and lo, they would not run.  And the
Lord sent again the fiend Inventory, and he smote the dealers until there was a
great weeping and gnashing of discounts.
 
        But the man cried; "We shall enhance!"  Whereupon the Lord raised a
mighty horde of Macintoshes and IIcs that ravaged the land, until the Peanut
was an abomination to all the people.  (And this is a sign unto you, for all of
the days of the Peanut are numbered less than 9 bits.)
 
        Still the man rebelled against the Lord, and did make a portable, and
the people did cry yet again, "This thing?"  But the cry was not loud, and the
Lord was still, for he was fed up with the whole thing.
 
 
The Tale of Gideon.
 
There once was a man named Gideon, who walked in the ways of the Lord and knew
the ways of the Source Code.  One day there came emissaries of the people
beyond the sea, and they said unto him, "Tell us the ways of XA, that we may
know them and be compatible unto them.  And help us to understand the MIPS of
the Great Trout, that we may align ourselves thereunto."  And Gideon was
tempted, and did write scenarios unto them, and tell them the ways of XA.
 
        But the Lord was wroth with Gideon, for he did consort with the people
from beyond the sea, whose mainframes were an abomination unto the Lord.  And
the Lord said to Gideon, "If thou do not lay off, it shall fall on thee from a
great height."
 
        But Gideon hardened his heart, and did speak again to the men from
beyond the sea.  And the Lord brought forth a great horde of mighty men of
Enforcement, and did afflict the men from beyond the sea with many suits, yea
unto civil suits and criminal suits.  And Gideon hid his face from the Lord,
saying, "It was not me, Lord."  But the Lord did say unto Gideon, "The Lord thy
God is a jealous god, and thou hast been ripping him off."  And he smote Gideon
with the jawbone of an attorney, and there was a great settling in the land,
and much wailing and gnashing of newsletters.
 
        And thereafter Gideon walked in the ways of the Lord, and his voice was
not heard in the land.