Joystick - A peripherial intended for use only by consenting adults. Keyboard - Resembling a typewritter, a keyboard is used for entering errors into the computer. Kilo - What you could have spent your money on if you hadn't bought the computer. Language - A system of organizing and defining syntax errors. Math Chip - A piece of a broken abacus. Megabyte - A nine course dinner. Memory Map - A sheet of paper showing location of computer store. Mhz - Acronym for 'Megahurtz', meaning 'a million pains'. Microfiche - Sardines. Nanosecond - Mork's stunt man. Newdos - Acronym for 'Not Exactly What The Dealer Offers To sell you. Pascal - Computer language used for college football player's Known in full as `Pass Calvin or Else'. Password - The nonsense word taped to the CRT. Inside every large program is a small program struggling to get out. Troutman's Programming Laws --------------------------- 1. If a test installation functions perfectly, all subsequent systems will malfunction. 2. Not until a program has been in production for at least six months will the most harmful error then be discovered. 3. Job control cards that cannot be arranged in improper order will be. 4. Interchangeable tapes won't 5. If the input editor has been designed to reject all bad input, an ingenious idiot will discover a method to get bad data past it. 6. Machines work, people should think. Golub's Laws of Computerdom --------------------------- 1. A carelessly planned project takes three times longer to complete than expected; a carefully planned project will take only twice as long. 2. The effort required to correct the error increases geometrically with time. Bradley's Bromide ----------------- If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in. €†€Õ‹•ŸŠŗŊĮÕÕÕÕÕÕÕՀ†€†€Õ†’¤ÕÕÕÕÕÕÕÕÕÕÕՀ†