
	°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
	°                        cRaZy sounds                   °
	°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
		      -------------------------------------
			      WELCOME TO REALITY
		      -------------------------------------

	  WASH.GIF    Taking care of some of my DIRTY LAUNDRY.
	    
	   COW.GIF    Picture of what you shouldn't have had
                      (you may have had one due to the last issue).

	 ANSEL.GIF    Ansel Adams photo of a Spanish Monastery
                      near Mexico.

       LINCOLN.GIF    Picture of a Classic Old Lincoln car.

       WHYHAVE.SND    "WHY HAVE YOU COME BACK?"
         
	  POOR.SND    "I'VE MADE SOME VERY POOR DECISIONS LATELY!"
  
	MOOCOW.SND    "MOOoo.."

	 WAGON.SND    Sound of a Conestoga Wagon
		      possibly on the Santa Fe trail
		      or the Chisholm Trail.

	INDIAN.SND    Sounds almost like a call an Indian
		      would make.  Indians would use animal
                      calls to communicate undetected in the wilderness.

	BUDDLE.SND    "Buddle Buddle".

      GIGLGULP.SND    "Giggledee gulp".
        
	 NOW_I.SND    "NOW I am the Master".

      2001DRUM.SND    2001 drum roll for the next century.

----------------------------------------------------------------
		      -------------------------------------
                                SINCE YOU'RE BACK
		      -------------------------------------

    Here's a hot item for fans of Star Trek.

    I was in Caldor's looking for a lightbulb
    and I saw that they have MR. SPOCK t-shirts
    on sale for $7 (U.S.).

    Thos folks who didn't return will find out in
    Saturday's file.  By then it will be TOO LATE.
    Supplies are LIMITED.

    NOW you know why I faked you out with the
    Indian Land bogosity.  SEE BELOW.
    I had to shake a few people off the trail.

----------------------------------------------------------------
		      -------------------------------------
			  WHAT LAND DO INDIANS LIVE ON?
		      -------------------------------------

       I warned you NOT to trust me!

       In the last EPSIODE on NAVAJO INDIANs I made a snide
       remark at the bottom about how we, U.S. citizens,
       live on Indian lands.

       That's NOT really true.  I made that statement based
       on information that I learned in school & via the
       media (including books).  I just PARROTed back what
       we Americans have been hearing for a LONG time.

       The fact is.... the NAVAJO INDIANS live ON
       Pueblo Indian land !!!  They annihilated the Pueblo Indian
       TRIBE that once lived where they are.
       So the Navajos are NO different then the rest of us!!!
       The Navajo Indian Tribe is the LARGEST surviving
       Native American Indian Tribe in the U.S. today.

       Some other Indian tribes will rise-up and say
       "HEY, we didn't bump anybody off these lands".
       The retort to that is that I remember hearing over the
       eons that the INDIANs did not OWN anything.
       Their culture was one of being "ONE with NATURE".
       They did not see NATURE as something that you owned.
       They saw it as something that you "shared".

       But as you can see in the case of the Navajo,
       they really were NO different than the WHITE MAN.
       The WHITE MAN just did it on a LARGER SCALE.

       The NAVAJO Indians even called the Pueblo Indians
       ANASAZI ("ALIEN ancient ones") and the Pueblo Indians
       consider this DEROGATORY!!  (see page 92 of magazine below.)

       SEE how much it can hurt when you are MIS-INFORMED!!!

       But don't believe ME!!  I warn you, again.
       DON'T TRUST ME - TRUST YOURSELF!

       See page 95
       of the NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC  October 1991
       Vol. 180  No. 4
       entitled:  "1491 America BEFORE Columbus"

       From page 35:
       "We have stories
	as OLD as the great seas
	breaking through the CHEST...  flying out the mouth,
	noisy tongues that once were silenced,
	all the oceans we contain
	COMING TO LIGHT."
	- Linda Hogan
	  a Chickasaw Indian

	TWO articles on STALKING WILD FOOD for the FEW
	Indian friends I have left (they asked for these):

	NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC
	-------------------
   STALKING WILD FOODS ON A DESERT ISLE - page 47   July 1972

   STALKING THE WEST'S WILD FOODS       - page 186  August 1973

   There are also several very good books out by
   Euell Gibbons on how to survive in the WILD.

   Or join the ARMY or ARMY RESERVE!!
   You'll learn how to live off not only these lands,
   but also how to survive in other environments.
   Maybe the ARMY will publish survival books someday.

   NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC
   -------------------
   THE NAVAJO NATION LOOKS AHEAD        - page 740  December 1972
----------------------------------------------------------------
		      -------------------------------------
			      DON'T HAVE A COW, MAN!
		      -------------------------------------

      Audiotape:

      MR. GONOPOLIS & HIS 12 HOLSTEINS
      the whimsical MOOsical
      read by Uncle Hyggly
      with music by George Maurer
      from Wounded COOT greetings
      ISBN # 0-935583-04-1

      includes the song:
      "Hitch your WAGON to a COW"
----------------------------------------------------------------
		      -------------------------------------
				  SHAKE IT UP 
		      -------------------------------------

      STRAWBERRY SHAKES
      -----------------
      3/4 cup water                             3 tbsp sugar
        1 pkg (10 oz) frozen strawberries       1 tsp lemon juice
	1 cup instant NON-fat dry milk powder   2 cups ice cubes

	PLACE all ingredients EXCEPT ice cubes in blender.
	COVER and blend at medium speed a few seconds
	until smooth.
	INCREASE speed to HIGH.
	ADD ice cubes ONE AT A TIME until all are finely crushed.
     From page 469 of the book:
     GOOD HOUSEKEEPING ILLUSTRATED COOKBOOK
     by Zoe Coulson
     (Hearst Books; New York; 1980)
     They even have a recipe for a BLACK COW, same page.

     The BEST strawberries are the SMALL wild ones.
     Like the ones you can get in Quebec City, Canada
     just after July 4th.  They have FIREWORKS in
     Quebec City over the Plains of Abraham on July 1st.


      And cans of Carnation Sweetened Condensed Milk have
      recipes on their inside labels for classic desserts
      like Chocolate … L'Orange Pie.

      CHOCOLATE … L'ORANGE PIE
      ------------------------
      1 pkg (8 oz) soft cream cheese        1/2 cup UNDILUTED,Evaporated milk
  1 1/3 cups (14 oz) CARNATION sweetened,   1/3 cup (3 oz) thawed Orange
	    condensed milk                          juice concentrate
      1 cup melted & cooled, 	              9 inch ready-prepared
	   semi-sweet chocolate bits		  chocolate piecrust

      BEAT cream cheese in large mixer bowl.
      GRADUALLY beat in CARNATION condensed milk,
      then chocolate, then EVAPORATED milk, until SMOOTH.
      ADD orange juice.
      BEAT one minute on medium high speed.
      POUR into pie shell.
      FREEZE.
      (6 servings)

      REGAL CHOCOLATE SAUCE
      ---------------------

	2 squares BAKER's unsweetened Chocolate
      1/3 cup water
      1/2 cup sugar
        3 tbsp butter or margarine
      1/4 tsp vanilla

      MELT chocolate with water in saucepan over low heat,
      stirring CONSTANTLY.
      ADD sugar.
      Bring to a boil and boil 2 minutes
      or until slightly thickened, strring CONSTANTLY.
      REMOVE from heat.
      STIR in butter & vanilla.
      Makes one cup.

      GREAT for ice cream Sundaes.
----------------------------------------------------------------
		      -------------------------------------
				   GAUCHOS
		      -------------------------------------

     The COVER STORY for BUSINESS WEEK magazine for
     June 15, 1992 concerns
     LATIN AMERICA: The BIG move to FREE MARKETS
     on page 50.

     Anybody know what a CAPYBARA is?

     They used to have one at the Museum of Science in BOSTON.

     Anyone know where you can buy the Gaucho's drink M…te?
     In BOSTON rumor has it that you can get it at the
     WALTHAM Supermarket in Waltham, MA on Main Street.
     I'm sure that you can pick it up in WORCESTER, too,
     I just don't know what the supermarkets are out there!

----------------------------------------------------------------
		      -------------------------------------
			       NEVER BEEN TO SPAIN
		      -------------------------------------
				 THREE DOG NIGHT

       THE ALLAIN MALLET GROUP is at Sculler's Jazz Club
       Guest Quarter's Suite Hotel BOSTON,
       Thursday June 11th @ 8:30pm & 10:30pm

       w/ special guest STAR

		    CLAUDIO RODITI
		    Brazil's finest Trumpet Player!!
		    Longtime member of Paquito D'Rivera's BAND
		    and the
                    Dizzy Gillespie U.N. Orchestra
			
----------------------------------------------------------------
		      -------------------------------------
			    DIAMOND DICKS & RUDE DOGS
		      -------------------------------------

     Time to finish up that DIRTY LAUNDRY called the
     Diamond Business.  More information has surfaced
     that blows away the TWO stores I was in in BOSTON's
     Diamond district (and maybe more).

     I worked for CORTELL's Jewelers one year.
     They were in Chestnut Hill.  They had a door you had
     to be buzzed in through because that had ALOT of expensive
     and well made jewelry from around the world.

     When I went into E.B.Horn's in Boston and likewise
     a Diamond Wholesale store (that's what their sign said,
     they were in the Jeweler's building on Washington Street)
     they did not BUZZ me in.  They must NOT have anything
     of value in those stores.  Even more IMPORTANT.
     BOTH stores lied to me.
     They told me that EMERALD CUT DIAMONDS are worth
     the least amount of money of all the cuts of diamonds.

     If you look at the BOSTON GLOBE dated Monday June 8, 1992
     on page 4 on the bottom left hand side....
     you'll see an AD for the OSTALKIEWICZ DIAMOND IMPORTERS.
     They show the EMERALD CUT to be THE MOST EXPENSIVE CUT
     of DIAMOND.   Two diamond dealers in BOSTON say one thing.
     And this DIAMOND IMPORTERS ad says the EXACT opposite.

     I'd say that diamonds should NOT be on the list of recommended
     investment vehicles!

     I'd suggest investing in art jewelry.  Like Jade from China.
     Or beautiful PEARLS from Japan or elsewhere.
     Danish Jewelry has some of the best craftsmanship I've seen.
     They work with a wide range of materials.
     From the colorful but fragile MALACHITES to Ebony woods
     and various precious metals (like platinum).

     I've yet to see any jewelry made from alexandrite.
     That's a rock that looks RED under one set of lighting
     conditions and greenish under a different light.
     OPALs play funny tricks with light, too,
     the finest OPALs can easily surpass the diamond in beauty.

     If you ever get a chance to go to a ROCK-HOUND show.  GO!
     You'll see a World of Gems, Semi-precious stones,
     fossils, and more.  Check out rocks like JASPER.
     They're used in Pendants and they look almost
     like the area from which they were dug up.

     If I were going to buy expensive jewelry I'd go to Tiffany's
     or some other big company that you can trust.

     But I would NOT buy Diamonds.  The DIAMOND business
     is a SHAM.   They say DIAMONDS are a great investment.
     They list DIAMONDs as NUMBER 3 on lists of BEST investments.
     But if you try to sell a DIAMOND you'll find out THAT
     EVRYTHING YOU'VE HEARD IS LIES!

----------------------------------------------------------------
		      -------------------------------------
                            CHEAP DOES NOT MEAN BETTER
		      -------------------------------------

     I needed chips for a mexican dip I had so I got
     some TOSTITOS at the store.  They were excellent.
     But expensive.  $2 for about 10 ounces.

     I quickly ran out of chips.  So back to the store for more.
     This time I cheaped it.  I bought a CHEAP brand.
     $2 for 20 ounces.   I nearly got sick.  It was like
     eating salted cardboard.

     BACK to the store I went the next day and bought TOSTITOS tortilla chips.
     Don't make the same mistake I did or you may DIE.

     The TOSTITOS chips almost taste as good as the chips you get
     at the El Phoenix Room on Comm Ave in Brighton (BOSTON).
     What's good about the El Phoenix is that, if its crowded,
     you can walk up the hill to SCAPPY's PIZZA.  The best Pizza
     outside of the North End of Boston.  And if Scappy's is crowded
     you can walk up to Chiswick Road to the Korean House restaurant.
     The best Korean food I've had.  Don't be surprised if you're
     surrounded by Koreans.   REAL Korean food.

----------------------------------------------------------------
		      -------------------------------------
                          BRINGING GOOD THINGS TO LIGHT
		      -------------------------------------

      I bought a cool desk lamp (chrome) at Bloomingdale's
      several years back.  It was the first HIGH INTENSITY BULB
      using lamp I've ever purchased.  AND it will probably be the
      last.  The bulbs don't last too long.

      When I first bought it (it was on sale) the bulb started making
      hilarious noises after just a couple of weeks.   Then the bulb
      croaked. So I bought a replacement bulb at a local store.
      The replacemen was inexpensive and it did exactly the same thing.
      It made funny noises.  I started to think it was a fault with
      the design of the lamp.   Then, by accident, I bought a GE bulb
      at a hardware store.  The lamp worked perfectly. But the GE
      bulbs are more expensive.  And High Intensity bulbs still do not
      seem to last as long as the incandescent bulbs that I've used.
      At least the lamp works now.

----------------------------------------------------------------
		      -------------------------------------
                                DELICIOUS APPLES? 
		      -------------------------------------

   Here's a mystery.

   Why are DELICIOUS APPLES called delicious?

   You've had them haven't you.
   MOST of the time they taste like BULLSHIT!

   Turns out that if you eat a DELICIOUS APPLE when it's
   picked fresh from the tree, it is truly DELICIOUS.
   The reason it isn't delicious here is because the fruit
   shippers have NOT figured out how to ship them correctly!!!
   This is true of other fruits, too, and why some people
   grow their own.

   I've heard that the YELLOW GOLDEN DELICIOUS APPLE is the best.
----------------------------------------------------------------
		      -------------------------------------
				 IT'S SO EASY
		      -------------------------------------

    Are you tired of hearing how easy it is to use somebody's
    long distance service when you know you still have to
    punch in those dumb numbers!!  You probably won't
    like this but did you know that it takes fewer button
    presses to call into the U.S. then it does to call out?!!

    There are little calculator size devices that supposedly will
    hold you most frequently called phone numbers.  All you
    do is press a button and the device plays tones thru the
    phone mouthpiece.  BINGO only one button push.

    Why don't telephones have a magnetic strip reader instead of just
    those CHANGE ONLY inputs?

    Imagine.... you'd run your charge card or long distance phone
    card thru the strip and BINGO you're making a call without
    all the monkey business!!  The phone system would talk into
    your conversation as you crossed each DOLLAR of time
    (unless you hit an override button) that way you'd also
    be able to keep track of your call cost (although
    maybe not your train of thought).
----------------------------------------------------------------
		      -------------------------------------
			            COLUMBUS 
		      -------------------------------------

       This is a ONCE IN A LIFETIME opportunity in SPAIN
       this year.  You get to see the SUMMER OLYMPICS
       and their COLUMBUS festivals.
       Summer Olympics in Barcelona, Spain
       from July 25 to August 9,  1992.


     Some books on SPAIN and vicinity:

     THE PEOPLE OF THE SIERRA
     by J.A. Pitt-Rivers
     (University of Chicago Press; Chicago; 1969)

     NATIONAL GEOGRAPHICS
     --------------------

		 THE CHANGING FACE OF OLD SPAIN - page 291  March 1965
                 AGAIN - THE OLYMPIC CHALLENGE  - page 488  October 1964
   OUR SEARCH FOR THE TRUE COLUMBUS LANDFALL !! - page 566 NOVEMBER 1986

     THE COOKING OF SPAIN & PORTUGAL
     by Peter S. Feibleman
     (Time-Life; New York; 1969)


     This book has an excellent recipe for APRICOT SQUARES
     (see page 49):
     FORUM FEASTS
     favorite recipes from friends of the forum school, 1983
     WRITE TO:

     FORUM FEASTS
     Box 43
     Waldwick, NJ 07463

     Here's a great book about ORANGES:

     ORANGES
     by John McPhee
     (Farrar, Straus & Giroux; New York; 1967)

----------------------------------------------------------------
		      -------------------------------------
			       SOUTH OF THE BORDER
		      -------------------------------------

    This is a good year for heading to Mexico or South America,
    too, with all the business expansion going on there.

    Some books:

    BUENOS AIRES
    in spanish & english
    Guia Turistica
    Tourist Guide
    (Editorial Guias ALMAR; Buenos Aires, Argentina; 1989)

    NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC
    -------------------
    MEXICO IN MOTION  - page 490  October 1961


----------------------------------------------------------------
		      -------------------------------------
                                TANGIER MORNING
		      -------------------------------------

	Audiotape:

	TANGIER MORNING
	by Stephen Bennett
	(Cimirron/RainBird Records; C/RR-Cass-002)

	Includes the song:
	"IS THIS MEXICO OR WHAT?"

----------------------------------------------------------------
				   COLUMBUS
		      -------------------------------------
			    & GREAT EXPLORERS ALL
		      -------------------------------------

   And IF you don't have the MONEY or time to get
   to SPAIN this year...

   ..."There's no place like HOME" for exploration.

   The U.S. is truly an amazing place.

   You say you don't have a car to get around the U.S.?
   I noticed that there are cans of Dr. PEPPER that
   say you can win a Ford Explorer to "Explore America" with.

   I don't think the I.R.S. would let me keep it if I won!

   To see America from you chair:

   NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC
   -------------------

   CLOSE-UP: USA
   A FRESH LOOK AT OUR LAND & ITS HERITAGE      - page 287 March 1973

   America's Historylands, Landmarks of Liberty - page 360 March 1962

   JOHN MUIR'S WILD AMERICA                     - page 433 April 1973

   OUR SEARCH FOR THE TRUE COLUMBUS LANDFALL !! - page 566 NOVEMBER 1986


   And here's a book on the AGE of Exploration:

   AGE OF EXPLORATION
   by John R. Hale
   (Time-Life; New York; 1966)

----------------------------------------------------------------
		      -------------------------------------
                               IS YOUR CAR READY
		      -------------------------------------

    If you haven't got your car ready for the Summer Exploration
    season, you should take it to:
    VALVOLINE INSTANT OIL CHANGE

    They're popping up all over.
    I had them replace my windshield wipers
    and (although they were fairly expensive)
    they were the best wipers I've ever had.

    VALVOLINE also has a FREE Large Speedway FLOAT
    that you can get if you meet there Mail-In
    requirements BEFORE August 31, 1992 (it says).

    They can handle CARS from the 1950's onward
    (And maybe even modernized Antiques, too.  Let them look under
     your hood.)

    great team at valvoline  -- can handle cars from 1950's
    onward (even modernized antiques)
    don't have

    If you're a JAPANESE TOURIST who's looking for AMERICANA
    from the 1950's you should check out Service Merchandise.
    They have LAVA LAMPS on SALE for $40 (US).

    Some folks have very old cars.  My middle brother who
    was really nto cars uses Sears Craftsman tools.  He even
    gave me a set to use but I have never had the time to
    do it myself.

    Here's a good book if you want to do-it-yourself:
    READER'S DIGEST
    COMPLETE CAR CARE MANUAL
    (Reader's Digest; Pleasantville, New York; 1981)

    CONSUMER REPORTS BOOKS also has books on cars:

    1.  "Keep Your Car running practically forever".
	(#2466P)

    2.  "USED CAR buying - BEST BUYS & cars to avoid"
	 (#2496P)

    3.  "NEW CAR buying - how to get the BEST deal."
	 (#2498P)

    4.  Get your CAR fixed right Series:
		     FORD: (#2305P)
	            CHEVY: (#2304P)
		  PONTIAC: (#2422P)
	            BUICK: (#2399P)
	       OLDSMOBILE: (#2424P)
		 CADILLAC: (#2425P)

    5.  "What's WRONG with MY car?"
	 (#2274P)

    6.  "Your FORD"
	 (Code 155)

	 (#2498P)

    CONSUMER REPORTS BOOKS
    9180 LeSaint Drive
    Fairfield, OH 45014-5452

----------------------------------------------------------------
		      -------------------------------------
			    IS YOUR COMPUTER READY?
		      -------------------------------------

      If your computer DIES during your expedition,
      and you happen to be near BOSTON,  I recommend:

      ELAZAR's, Inc
      888 Main Street
      Waltham, MA 02154
      1-800-698-0646

      They repair computers.  I believe ALL types
      but call and ask.

      IF you have a MACINTOSH computer they guarantee
      ONE HOUR turn around !!!!
      They did a professional job on the MAC I took there.
----------------------------------------------------------------
		      -------------------------------------
                               ARE YOUR FEET READY
		      -------------------------------------

   I've got a pair of BOOTS made by IRON AGE.
   Those things look cool.
   They've got STEEL toes and Chemical Resistant
   bottoms.

   They cost me $40 when I worked for Avco/Everett Research Labs
   (Avco subsidized my purchase).  Those BOOTS are still
   going strong and I've had them OVER 10 years!!
   Best investment I ever made.

   AVCO was a great company.
   They even counted my CO-OP student time as full time
   and gave me a CROSS pen set when I hit 10 years!

   Those CROSS pens were so good that one of those GROUPS, that
   goes through my place now & again, stole them.
   And that's NOT the only thing they stole.

----------------------------------------------------------------
		      -------------------------------------
			      METAMORPHOSIS
		      -------------------------------------

                             THE BIG CHANGE
                             America transforms itself
                             by Frederick Lewis Allen
			     (Harper & Row; New York; 1969)
   
----------------------------------------------------------------
	      "Well my FRIENDs...
	       the time has come,
	       to RAISE THE ROOF and have some FUN!"
		   - Lionel Richie
		     (once of the Commodores)
----------------------------------------------------------------
               "cRaZy for you!"
		      - Madonna
----------------------------------------------------------------
		      -------------------------------------
                               A TAXING SITUATION
		      -------------------------------------

   TOO BAD the I.R.S. isn't cRaZy for us American taxpayers!
   (I.R.S. as in Internal Revenue Service -
    both Federal & State)

   They KNOW I am UN-EMPLOYED!!!
   My cashflow has been negative for OVER TWO YEARS STRAIGHT
   and I'm almost down to my last nickle.

   I even sent them a letter when I filed my taxes
   (even though I could send them NO money)
   that stated that I'm un-employed!

   But they IGNORED what I sent them.
   They IGNORE their computers which ALSO tell them
   I have NO income and that I have almost used up
   all of my I.R.A.s.

   BUT does the I.R.S. think?

   No way.   They'd rather push the taxpayer over the cliff
   then help them out.

   Isn't that what happened to Lou Costello of
   ABBOTT & COSTELLO fame?

   I'm sure it happens to American citizens ALL the time.

   The I.R.S. will LITERALLY kill YOU.
----------------------------------------------------------------
        "You can't START a fire without a SPARK."
----------------------------------------------------------------
		 "BORN IN THE U.S.A."
		       - THE BOSS,
                         Bruce Springsteen
----------------------------------------------------------------
   B.U.D.
----------------------------------------------------------------
