THE BLONDE'S GUIDE TO MEDICAL TERMS AND THEIR MEANINGS


Artery                        The study of paintings

Bacteria                      Back door to the cafeteria
Barium                        What doctors do if treatment fails
Bowel                         A letter like A-E-I-O-U

Caesarean Section             A district in Rome
CAT Scan                      Searching for a kitten
Cauterize                     Made eye contact with her
Coma                          A punctuation mark

D & C                         Where Washington is

Enema                         Not a friend

Genital                       Not Jewish
G.I. Series                   Soldier ball game

Hangnail                      Coat hook

Impotent                      Distinguished, well-known

Labor Pain                    Getting hurt at work

Medical staff                 A doctor's cane
Morbid                        A higher offer

Nitrate                       Cheaper than day rate
Node                          Well aware of

Outpatient                    Person who has fainted

Papsmear                      Fatherhood test
Pelvis                        Brother to Elvis
Postoperative                 Letter carrier
Prostate                      Flat on your back

Recovery room                 Place to do upholstery
Rectum                        Darn near killed him!
Rheumatic                     Amorous

Secretion                     Hiding something

Tablet                        A small table
Terminal illness              Getting sick at the airport
Tibia                         Country in North America
Tumor                         More than one more

Urine                         Opposite of "You're out"

Varicose                      Near by
Vein                          Conceited, stuck up