SELF DEFENSE IN THE WORKPLACE: Dealing With Mishaps And Miscommunication

Written By Mark Edward Linehan

These are theoretical suggestions, and not proven fact. If you use any
techniques outlined in this file, you do so with the understanding that it is
by your choice, and I do not recommend it in any way shape or form. Basically,
don't come crying to me if this doesn't work for you.

Bewilderment. This is a feeling so many of us can empathize with. It infests
you as you think about those things in your life that are weighing you down. At
least, to most people they seem to be weights. However, this is not true. These
are not weights. These are stability. These are our strength. Instead of
dwelling on misery, and absorbing the negative forces of life into your mind,
you can gain strength from them and learn from them. Sure, we all have our
story, and we all have our pitfalls to deal with, but what really matters, and
what really shapes your happiness, is how you handle the problem, and how you
allow the outcome to take shape. Let me give you an example.

You are a dishwasher in a resteraunt. You are carrying a stack of china dishes
to a cart, and you feel your foot slip beneath you on a small puddle of water.
It all goes in slow motion. You can feel your legs seperating quickly, and you
are already seeing the dishes begin to fall away from you. Both of your hands
are locked on the bottom of the stack, and your legs have lost all balance. You
are about to drop about $200.00 worth of dishes onto the floor. This is bad.
There is no way around that. It is bad. However, you can easily overcome this
incident. Most people would probably be thinking that this mans job is over.
Wrong! If it is handled the proper way, you can gain strength, knowledge, and
recognition from this event. Let's take a look at the WRONG way to handle this
matter.

YOU: (to the boss) I'm sorry, I didn't see that puddle of water on the floor.

BOSS: You weren't watching where you were going.

YOU: I didn't see the puddle.

BOSS: That is coming out of your pay!

YOU: The hell it is.

BOSS: Then you're out of here.

Let's look at the POWER-PLAY method of handling this situation.

YOU: (to the boss) Jesus, I almost broke my neck on that puddle! Don't people
realize how dangerous a little puddle can be! Someone could have taken five
seconds to mop it up. Maybe we should get some of those rubber mats down on
that spot between the dishwasher and the carts.

BOSS: Good idea. That was $200.00 worth of dishes!

You make yourself the victim, rather than the perpretrator. You make a valid
and good suggestion. You gained recognition and experience from it.

Some people just don't think that quickly to talk their way out of a situation
like that. You have to program yourself to know how to respond to situations.
Never apologize unless something was obviously your fault, and there is no way
you can deny any wrong doing. When you apologize you are confessing and
accepting responsibility for something going wrong. It is much better to pass
the buck as the saying goes. This is a technique used widely by many Corporate
executives and sales representatives. Blame the distributor, blame the workers,
blame the post office, but never take the blame. You lose credability, people
lose confidence in you, and it only takes one seed to grow a garden. People get
one bad thought about you, and every little foopar on your part will fuel their
negative thoughts about you.

Some people might call this lying. I personally don't care what people want to
call it. All I can say is, in these times, you need to do what it takes to
protect yourself. Protect your future. Protect your way of life.

Know who to BLAME! That is a very important aspect to dealing with mishaps.
NEVER blame someone in your own company. That makes your whole company lose
credability. Find some way of blaming someone who is not connected with your
company in any way. Blame your car dealer for not fixing your car right the
first time. Blame the phone company for screwing up your phone lines. Blame the
guy you fired last week. NEVER blame anyone else in your company.

These are the guidelines for self defense in the workplace. I hope I have
enlightened you somewhat in dealing with mishaps and mis-communication.

On the end note.. ALL BOSSES MUST DIE! Until I have my own business, then
bosses will probably be misunderstood gentlemen. Know what I mean?

What you think of a person, all depends on how closely your lives are related.