SHOULD A CHRISTIAN DATE A NON-BELIEVER? I walked out of someone's life today. It was someone whom I thought of as very special. But it was solely my choice. I ended any chance of a relationship with her from developing any further than it did. Let me tell you about an experience which I had during a five week period from January 18 to February 22, 1990. While at work for only one week, a new girl started on January 24. I will call her "Nancy". I became attracted to her, and she to me. Soon after we met, we began taking breaks, having lunch, and leaving work for home together. One week later, after work, we were walking around in the Eaton Center. I thought, since we both were attracted to one another, I'd tell her how I felt about her. So, I did. We proceded to the Bloor Subway Station and sat down on a bench. We talked about becoming good friends and the prospect of a future dating relationship. It was a very fruitful talk and we were both very happy about it. I knew Nancy was not a Christian, but I felt that the Lord had brought us together for some reason. I was very attracted to her. She had a very sweet disposition and she was very attractive. During the next week, we spent more time together. After work, we would go to the Eaton Center and walk around and talk. We would buy each other lunch. We often sat by ourselves during break, and to eat lunch just to get to know each other better. She was very suppor- tive and encouraging regarding certain incidences pertaining to job interviews, phone calls, and other things. One day during break, we sat with two female co-workers, Natalie and Helen. We talked about relationships. Nancy and I offered little hints about what we liked in a relationship as all four of us chatted back and forth. These two co-workers became very supportive for Nancy and I to get into a dating relationship. Nancy had many good points about her. But like all of us, she had some bad points about her. She appeared to be like a Jeckyl & Hyde. She was different in the office than she was after work on our way home. She told me things that I didn't quite think was the truth, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. On Monday, after our Friday talk in the Bloor Subway, she seemed unwilling to communicate, and talk about our talk on Friday. She sometimes used Jesus' name as a curse word. She was impatient at times with me. A couple or so times she showed disrespect towards me. She displayed an egotistical attitude when I had to take care of my banking and she refused to come with me, but always expected me to go with her to the Eaton Center to do what she wanted to do. There was one other guy working with us (let's call him Charlie), whom she would talk to quite often. Natalie, Helen, and I noticed that she seemed to be attracted to Charlie as she would often to spend more time with him in the office, and on breaks than with me. There was something not quite right about this (Helen and I thought) because Charlie was married, and Nancy knew that. There were some indications that she wanted to have an affair with him. One morning as I walked into the work area I saw her and Charlie holding hands. But Nancy took her hand away when she saw me coming. This was the straw that broke the camel's back. I began to lose faith in the possibilities of a future dating relationship with her. On the Thursday, two weeks before our last day, Natalie, Nancy and I went to the Eaton Center. We went to the fast food area and began to talk. Nancy started to tell us how much she liked Charlie and that she wanted to have an affair with him, regardless if he was married or not. I had been praying for her salvation but I knew I had to witness to her and had prayed that God would open up the door to do so. I talked to her about what the Bible says about marriage. I quoted Matthew 19:6, "what God has joined together, let no man put asunder". Half way through, she confessed she was only leading me on, and that none of it was true. However during our time remaining, and the hand- holding incident, I noticed little things which indicated she was not joking about having an attraction for Charlie (a happily married man). I didn't like this. There was something not quite right here. I began to think of her as an "evil woman". I lost respect for her. I began to distrust her. But I continued to pray for her salvation, and for conviction of sin in her life. When I told her that I was praying for her, she almost threw a cup of water at me. While we were walking to the subway, through the Eaton Center, I asked her if we could exchange phone numbers. She told me she would give it to me tomorrow night. I thought I still wanted to continue a friendship and witness to her as well. I thought if I could lead her to Christ, the Lord would open up the door for us to begin a dating relationship. But during the last week, I began to test my purposes for praying for her. Was I praying for her salvation just so I could one day have a dating relationship with her, or was my motive for praying for her so that she would come to Christ regardless of whether we would date or not. When I tested my attitude, I found that the first was more true than the other. I found myself seeking for her salvation, just so I could date her. I also asked myself, and tested my reasoning for wanting to be with her. Was it her personality, or her looks that I was attracted to? I found that the latter was more true than the first. Thirdly, was my attraction to her out of love or was it out of lust? I found the latter to be more true than the first one. I prayed to the Lord for His wIll to be seen in my life. I had been wondering why the Lord brought a non-Christian into my life. I thought that it was for a future dating relationship. Then I realized that is was for the purpose of writing on this subject. On our last day of the job, at 11:30 am, I went off to pray. I told the Lord that I wanted to honor Him, and going out with a non-Christian would not be honoring Him. I then asked the Lord to provide a way for me not to be in a situation that I would be asking Nancy for her phone number. When I went back, my supervisor approached me and asked me to make a delivery. She informed me that I didn't have to return after making the delivery. I said my goodbyes to everyone, but I did not personally bid Nancy goodbye. When I looked at her, she had her head down. I then left and walked out of her life. Now I ask you brothers and sisters: SHOULD A CHRISTIAN DATE A NON-CHRISTIAN? SHOULD A CHILD OF GOD BECOME INTERESTED IN A NON-CHRISTIAN? I suggest that nobody who is a child of God do what I did. As I said above, it was not the Lord's will for me to be with Nancy, but for me to go through this experience to write this file. I had been thinking about writing on this subject for some time now. The lord prepared this so I could help others and relate to them who are in a similar, or even an exact situation. That's why the Lord Jesus came as a baby and lived for 33 years among us. The Bible says: "For in that He Himself hath suffered being tempted, He is able to succour them that are tempted", Hebrews 2:18. "For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feel- ing of our infirmities, but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need", Hebrews 4:15-16. So, should a Christian date a non-Christian? To date or not to date, that is the question! I'll begin by defining what a date is. I'd like to answer that by asking you (my readers) a question; What do you think is the difference between a social outing with a friend of the opposite sex and a date with a friend of the opposite sex? In other words, what makes going out with someone a date? Some people might say; a special engagement, special arrangements are made, the two make a commitment to one another, going somewhere or doing something that you would not normally do with your friends, others would say that intimacy is involved. Dating is a special comm- itment whereby arrangements are made to set apart time for each another, after the idea of a more closer and committed relationship is either discussed or insinuated. There is nothing wrong with Christians having acquaintances and friendships with non-believers. There is also nothing wrong with, once in a while, getting together with our unsaved friends and going out with them. But we should be careful where we go with them, such as what kind of restaurant we go to, or what kind of movie they want us to go with them to see. Thomas Adams had this to say about friendships with unbelievers: "All company with unbelievers or misbelievers is not condemned. We find a Lot [sic] in Sodom, Israel with the Egyptians, Abraham and Isaac with their Abimelechs; roses among thorns, and pearls in mud; and Jesus Christ among publicans and sinners. So neither we be infect- ed, nor the name of the Lord wronged, to converse with them, that we may convert them, is a holy course. But still we must be among as strangers; to pass through an infected place is one thing, to dwell in it another". We as Christians can't isolate ourselves from the world. We have to be able to live in, and interact with others in this world. How else are we going to witness to them and tell them about Jesus! However to go beyond friendship with someone who is not a child of God to the point of dating or marriage is forbidden in the Bible. "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial, or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? For ye are the temple of the living God...", 2 Corinthians 6:14-16. To be unequally yoked means to be incompatibly joined together. Paul goes as far as to compare the two as being totally opposite; Righteousness and unrighteousness, light and darkness, Christ and Belial, believer and infidel. In my opinion, dating a non-Christian is the same as dating someone who is an enemy of God. It is equal to the equation: Christian is to friend of God as non-Christian is to enemy of God. Jesus said: "He that is not with me is against me; and he that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad", Matthew 12:30. THE DATING HANG-UP COMPROMISE ++++++++++++++++++ I think many Christians today, in 1990, are strung out on one main hang-up of dating; falling into the trap of COMPORMISE. Fred Hartley, from his book called "Dealing With Peer Pressure" said; "The worst enemy of true Christianity is false Christianity, or Christian compromise". There's a lot of Christians our there who are violating their own Godly standards just to date a non-Christian. Here is a letter from Pat Hurley's book, "PAT ANSWERS". It is written by a teenager who is dating a non-Christian and wishes to keep on dating him. * "Dear Pat: My boyfriend isn't a Christian. I love the Lord, and I feel like He wants me to continue dating Steve. My parents and my youth pastor disagree with me. What do you say?" Pat's reply to her was; "Dear Dete: The Bible is the Word of God. It is true and it is to be trusted above our feelings. The Bible says that if you're a Christian, then you belong to Jesus Christ. He owns your heart, your mind, and your body. You don't belong to anyone else. Your boyfriend, no matter how caring, moral, sexy, or committed to you doesn't know Jesus Christ personally. The two of you serve different gods. Eventually that will become critical to the potential of your relationship with Steve. As long as you serve different gods, you will take different courses from each other. You're not stupid. You may be stubborn. You may be independ- ant. You may be loyal. But you're not stupid. The truth of God's life in you will eventually win over your emotions. Deep down you already know that. I trust Him, and I trust you. Read Rom. 12:1-2." God has set before each and every believer His standards for us to live by. The Bible contains all that God wants his children to know about His pattern for Christian living. Pat requested that this young girl read this passage in Romans which lays out the way God wants us to live; "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world; but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God", Romans 12:1-2. Paul presents two major thoughts in this passage: 1) We are to use our bodies to the glory of God and do the things that are glorifying to God, as well as living a holy, clean, and pure life, because our bodies belong to God. And 2) We are not to use our minds for the purpose of world, nor set our minds on the world. But set our sights on seeking for the will of God for us. Violating His standards is a compromise. The word compromise comes from the Latin word conpromittere which means "to promise". According to the Webster's Dictionary, compromise means; to adjust, settle, or to reach an agreement by mutual concession. The trouble with this is, that we as Christians feel we can bargain with God using trade-offs. That's what a compromise is. It is trading Godliness for worldliness, or for something in between. God does not bargain with us when it comes to such things as unequal yokes. God demands holiness from us. In Leviticus 11:44 He says; "For I am the Lord your God: Ye shall therefore sanctify yourselves, and ye shall be holy; for I am holy". To be holy means to be pure, undefiled and clean. We can only maintain our holiness if we obey what God's word commands us to do. In 2 Corinthians 6:14 God's word tells us not to be unequally yoked together with an unbeliever. The main issue here, in dating a non-Christian, is compromise. As I said above, compromising is a trade-off with God, which violates His standard of living in the Christian's life. Through compromise, the Christian also falls into sin because of disobedience. They are allowing the worldly lifestyle of the unbeliever to over-ride God's principles of righteous and holy living. Three Symptoms of the Dating hang-up: Personally, I don't see any point in dating a non-Christian. If marriage is the result of a successful dating relationship, then why date someone who you are forbidden to marry. If you think relation- ships are hard with someone in the faith, would it not be twice as hard with someone who is not in the faith? And if you think marriage with a believer will be difficult just imagine being married to a non-believer. It simply will not work. Billy Graham said "If you marry an unbeliever, you are also getting the Devil for your father- in-law". The three symptoms of the Christian's hang-ups on dating are listed below. Symptom #1: As Paul illustrates above in 2 Corinthians 6:14 the two =========== are total opposites of one another. Which is obviously indication that both have different interests and goals in life. And when one person in the relationship is not walking with Christ, this only opens the door for personality clashes, conflicts, friction, hurts, disappointments, troubles, etc. All this stems from both having different goals and interests. The interests of the Christian are centered around Christ and the Bible. The interests of the unbeliever are centered around worldly pleasures and living it up. Dating someone who you have nothing in common with and who sees Jesus differently than you do can be very discouraging. Sooner or later, one of you is going to get their way with the other. Usually it is the unbeliever who overpowers the Christian which draws the Christian further into sin and away from God. I hope as you read this that you are seeing how unattractive relationships with non-believers can be. I know some of you are read- ing this and you might be saying "that's not true, we have a good relationship. We have a lot of things in common and we never fight about anything". Well, I'd like to redraw your attention to part of Pat Hurley's answer to Dete who felt it was God's will that she keep dating her unsaved boyfriend: * "Your boyfriend, no matter how caring, moral, sexy, or committed to you doesn't know Jesus Christ personally. The two of you serve different gods. Eventually that will become critical to the potential of your relationship with Steve. As long as you serve different gods, you will take different courses from each other". The deal is that no matter how good or right a relationship seems to be going with an unsaved person, it is not right with God. Eventually, because of all the frustrations and differences that accompany a believer/non-believer relationship, both will lose interest, the relationship will go stale, and each will go their own separate ways. The Bible says: "But if ye bite and devour on another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another. This I say then, walk in the Spirit and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary the one to the other; so that ye cannot do the things that ye would", Galations 5:15-17. In Romans 8:9 The Bible's comparison of two spirits declares ownership; "But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is not of His", Romans 8:9. If you are dating a non-Christian, s/he does not belong to Christ, and (as Pat said in his letter to Dete) is serving a different god. That kind of relationship is not at all attractive to me. I would be heart-broken all the time I was with her. Why? Because it would hurt to be with someone I really like in a relationship which God does not approve. My heart would be breaking for 3 other reasons; 1) This person is unsaved and on their way to Hell, 2) This person is rejecting Christ which in turn grieves the Holy Spirit and it hurts God, 3) I am not able to share Christ and have good fellowship with her the way I would like to, and would not be able to as I would with some- one who is a Christian, Jesus should be a big part of every believer's life. I would have such a desire to freely share Christ with my dating partner, But I would not be able to if Christ is excluded from my girlfriend's life. That's why the Apostle Paul declared "for what fellowship hath right- eousness with unrighteousness", 2 Corinthians 6:14. Jesus must be #1 in every Christian's life, and in their relationships. He must be common ground in my life, and in the life of the one whom I am dating. Otherwise, one will be a servant of Christ and the other will be a servant of sin. Again, the Bible makes a comparison of the two; "That the right- eousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be Spirit- ually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God", Romans 8:4-8. A relationship in the flesh is not pleasing to God. Symptom #2: Question #1: What was the first thing that Jesus talked =========== about in the Sermon-On-The-Mount? Question #2: What did God do after He created everything? Question #3: What does God want to do more than anything for us as believers in Him? If you said blessing for all three, you're right! God's will for us as believers in Him is to shower us with blessings. He wants to bless us in every area of our lives. The word blessing comes from the old English word "bletsian" which means to consecrate, glorify, or sanctify. In relation to God's love toward the believer, it means to give happiness and protection. The Bible says; "Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in His law doth he meditate day and night", Psalm 1:1-2. From the above passage we see a picture of an upright man who is walking with the Lord, and who really loves the Lord. Also from the above passage, we see that there are two conditions for God's bless- ings; 1) that we avoid very close and friendly contact with those not walking with God, and 2) that we obey God, and center our thoughts, words, actions, and lives around Him. In relation to a dating relationship between a Christian man and woman, obedience is the prerequisite for God's blessings between the two. In my own opinion, a dating relationship is in itself a gift from God to both the guy and the girl. And since dating is the pre- requisite to marriage and marriage is the result of a successful dating relationship, God's prerequisite for a blessed relationship is that both lives be centered around Him. What benefit would there be for a Christian who dates a non- believer? The believer would lack everything the Lord has to offer him/her. How can God bless a believer's relationship if his/her relationship is not built upon the Rock, but is built on sand? There would be double trouble. It's not that God would refuse to bless you, but that you would rob yourself of the blessings that God has to offer you. In relation to "double trouble", the believer would lack twice the blessings of God. This is how; if you as a believer are dating a non-believer, you rob yourself of the blessings you could have and you add to your life the trouble(s) and hurts that come with dating a non-believer. Here are 2 other ways you would be robbing yourself of God's blessings two- fold: 1) instead of your need for a dating partner being satisfied, you now have an even greater need to get out of that non-Christian relationship and then find the right dating partner. 2) Instead of being able to share Christ with your dating partner, you now have to try to prove Christ to your dating partner. Instead of having the qualities in your relationship you need, you really have the qualities that you don't need. That's what Paul was trying to point out in 2 Corinthinans 6:14 when he asked; "what fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness?". An unequal yoke will only place you on shaky ground. It will lead you away from God, and cause pain and suffering. We see this in the life of Samson. Samson loved God and the Lord blessed him with strength through his long hair. But, Samson became erotically attracted to a Philistine woman (Delilah) who hated God. Samson began to compromise his Godly principles the minute he laid his eyes upon her. From that moment on his attraction to Delilah took his life on a downward spiral. Delilah was a worshiper of the Philistinian pagan god Dagon. She did not serve the same God who Samson served and loved. Samson went away from God by getting closer to Delilah. The closer he got to her, the further away from God he went. Delilah tricked him into cutting his hair which the Lord told him not to cut. He lost all his strength and Delilah had the Philistines capture him and gouge his eyes out, then bound him as a slave to grind in the prison house. Finally he was chained between two pillars and put on public display in the pagan temple. Samson, through his attraction to an unbeliever in God, robbed himself of the blessings which God wanted him to have. Instead of receiving blessings, his life went downhill, right up to the taking of the lives of the Philistines and ending his own life as well. Blessings will only happen if you as a Christian will obey God. At the beginning of the Sermon On The Mount, Jesus said; "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled", Matthew 5:6. Not only should our faith be founded on Christ (the solid Rock), but also our entire lives must be built and centered around Him. That includes building our relationships with whom we are dating upon the solid foundation of Christ. In another place in the Sermon On The Mount, Jesus said; "Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which builds his house upon a rock; and the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not; for it was founded upon a rock", Matthew 7:24. Therefore, if you want to avoid troubles galore and be blessed by God, dating must be done (a) in the Lord, and (b) by the will of God. When it comes to Christian dating, the one thing God wants to do is bless your relationship, but is inhibited due to sin in the non- believer's life. A Christian/non-Christian dating relationship is only second rate in the eyes of God. God wants us to have a first rate relationship. Wait on God for the right one; the one He has planned for you. You will be glad you did and happier for the decision to wait in the end. The Bible says; "Trust in the Lord and do good so shalt thou dwell in the land and verily thou shalt be fed. Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass", Psalm 37:3-5. Symptom #3: I was saving the best for last. Many Christians get =========== involved with someone who is not a Christian believer in Christ, and so wrapped up with them, and will want to remain dating them just so they can win them to Christ. As I said above, that was my only motive for being with Nancy. I just wanted to win her to Christ so I could date her. Many Christians who thought they could do this and therefore tried it, soon found out how hard it was, and how wrong they were. Glen Eagleson, Minister with single adults at People's Church in Toronto, tells of his experience of dating a non-Christian just ten years ago. Like other Christians, Glen thought he could date her and win her to Christ. At first when they started dating, Glen was able to bring her out to church quite often. Then, slowly, she began to come to church less and less, and eventually they stopped going all together. She and Glen began to do other things. Glen compromised his faith, which got him away from God. This is what he told me. "It got easier for me to do the things that she want- ed to do than to do the things that I thought we should be doing. I think the biggest lie is that we could win them to Christ. My mother always told me, 'It is easier to pull someone off the table than it is to pull them on the table'. Of course, being the average teen, I didn't listen to her and after I was sorry that I didn't". This kind of dating is known as "missionary dating" and is done with the wrong motive; to win them to Christ just so they will qualify as the right dating partner for you. It is a very selfish thing for a Child of God to do. It is selfish because our intention is not to win them to Christ for God's purpose, but for our own purpose; just to make dating them justifiable and acceptable to God. Thus, whether we realize it or not, we are only fooling ourselves, and we are deceiving God. A Christian who does this is setting a bad example for the Lord. Not only do you rob yourself of blessings, you take away your example of the Lord in the eyes of the non-believer you're dating. For one thing, it shows them your weakness' instead of your strengths. They may be testing your strength as a believer in Christ (as non-believers do) and if they see you are placing yourself into a compromising position, they will judge you by that and reject the Lord in return. In his letter to the church in Ephesis, Paul wrote that we must shine as children of light. Paul cautions us that a poor testimony echoes our former worldly lifestyles. "This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind, having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart...". "That you put off concerning the former conversation of the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts. And be renewed in the Spirit of your mind. And that you put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness". "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edify- ing, that it may minister grace unto the hearers", Ephesians 4:17-18, Ephesians 4:22-24, Ephesians 4:29. So we must check our motives for whatever we do. We don't sin in order to bring someone to the Lord and then turn around and tell them to repent of their sins and accept Christ as their Saviour. If we want our lives to reflect Christ to the world, we aren't going to do it by reflecting their lifestyle. It is the same as becoming as hooker and attempting to win the other hookers to the Lord. The Bible says that our actions must edify the whole body of Christ and that our lives must be living testimonies of Him (Ephesians 4:16-17). We as Christians (like living plants) react to and adapt ourselves to our environment and our surroundings. What is going to happen if we surround ourselves with the company of unbelievers? The Bible answers that for us: "Bad company corrupts good character", 1 Cor- inthians 15:33. If we place ourselves with bad company long enough, we will begin to think and act like them. One final view on missionary dating is that we all know how hard it is to try and win our family members to Christ. Even to witness to them and have them listen to us is a task and a half. Our family members will not believe us because we are so close to them and the fact that living with them has made us vulnerable to ridicule and scrutiny. The Lord Jesus had that exact problem in his very home town, and even in His own home with His brothers. In Mark 6:4-6, the Bible says; "But Jesus said unto them, A prophet is not without honor, but in his own country, and among his own kin, and in his own house. And he could there do no mighty work, save that he laid his hands upon a few sick folk, and healed them. And he marvelled because of their unbelief. And he went round about to the villages, teaching". Jesus could not preach in his home village of Bethlehem, nor even a few square miles within the town of Bethlehem. Whenever Jesus did preach, it was far away from his home town. Why? Because He was too close to the people in that area. So He went where He would not be oppressed with such heavy unbelief. If you and I have a hard time witnessing to our families, and the Lord Jesus Himself had trying times spreading the Gospel to the villagers within His own home town, then would it not be just as difficult to try to win the one you are dating to Christ? It would indeed be very hard. And in conjunction with that, it would be very tough to witness to them. It might be fine at the start, but as the relationship builds, tension and unbelief will also build. As a result, the non-Christian will want to hear less and less, and the believer will be restricted to less and less witnessing. Here is an example of a Christian / non-Christian dating relation- ship with a different twist. I had one female friend tell me of her experience with dating a non-believer. My friend May was dating a nonbeliever and was hoping to win him to the Lord. After 4 months of dating and failing to win him to Christ, she decided to end the relat- ionship, and so she did. After May and Jack broke up, he accepted the Lord. Jack was already searching for God, and did not want May to think he accepted Christ because of her. He also wanted her to know that dating him was done for the wrong reason. A couple of weeks later, the two got back together, but five months later, May ended the relationship because she felt it was wrong. The above example is a real life situation. But please note that Jack did not come to the Lord while he and May were dating. He came to Christ AFTER they broke up. Jack knew that May's intention of dating him to win him to Christ was wrong. He also wanted to ensure that his commitment to Christ was serious. Jack had been searching for Jesus Christ even before they began dating. He had gone to two counselling sessions at his church while they were dating, but he did not inform May about this as he did not want her to believe that she had any influence on his decision to come to Christ. There is a lesson to all this. The lesson is this: When you are in an romantic relationship with someone, you are mainly concentrating on getting to know the other person and spending time with them. You will not accomplish much in the way of winning an unbeliever to the Lord while you are close with them; the closer you are the harder it is. And in this case, it was a non-believer who knew that this kind of dating was wrong. I could sum it all up with the words of Thomas Watson; "Do not incorporate into the society of the wicked, or be too much familiar with them. The wicked are God haters; and 'shouldest thou join with them that hate the Lord? (2 Chronicles 19:2). A Christian is bound, by virtue of his oath of allegiance to God in baptism, not to have intimate converse with such as are God's sworn enemies... The bad will sooner corrupt the good, than the good will convert the bad. Pharaoh taught Joseph to swear, but Joseph did not teach Pharaoh to pray". So My beloved brothers and sisters in Christ, should a Christian date a non-Christian, a non-believer, an enemy of God? From the information above, I'd say no- it will not work. To requote the Apostle Paul's words in 2 Corinthians; "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols?", 2 Corinthians 6:14-16. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ THE DATING GAME TURNS INTO THE WAITING GAME!! +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I'll be the first to admit, as a Christian who is not dating, it is getting rather tough to find somebody out there in Singlesville. I'm sure many of us have found this town of Singlesville dull and boring, and we all would love to move out to a popular town just a mile south called Dateville. However, I would rather wait than date someone who is not the Lord's choice pick for me. And that is one tough cookie to bite into; waiting. Waiting is never easy, but if you have come this far with out someone, you can go the next mile or two without someone. To compromise is to settle outside of the will of God. To wait is to be in the will of God. Mainly, God keeps his children waiting because it is not the best time for us, or because we are not ready for the right dating partner, or maybe, they are not ready for us yet. I've found that the prime reason that God keeps us waiting is to teach us, and to foster spiritual growth and development. There are so many reasons why God keeps us waiting for the right one. We pray and ask God to have us meet someone. We often pray this prayer; "Let the next one I meet be the one I'm going to marry". But it turns out to be just another relationship that ends in a breakup. Why does this happen? Often we are so anxious to be in a relationship that we don't see the consequences of dating the wrong person. So we rush in and end up getting hurt. I've done it, you (my reader) have done it. We've all done it. We all rush ahead of the Lord. So why wait? Because the Lord has a perfect plan for you and waiting is part of it. God offers us many promises for waiting upon Him: "Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him." Psalm 37:7. "For evil doers shall be cut off; but those that wait upon the Lord, they shall inherit the earth." Psalm 37:9. "Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the creator of the ends of the earth, tainteth not, neither is weary? There is no searching of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint, and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youth shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." Isaiah 40:28-31. When I read the promises of God in Isaiah 40, it almost makes waiting sound like fun. But don't get discouraged, wait on the Lord for the right one and you will be blessed, and more happy for your decision to wait in the end. ====================================================================== (C) COPYRIGHT 1990 BY RON SINKO THE SEED SOWERS; COMPUTER BBS; (416) 498-5259, or, (416) 498-5962. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- * Reference from page 5, and 6; Pat Answers, Pat Hurley, Copyright 1989, Word Inc,. Dallas, Texas. -Used by permission- All information in "Should A Christian Date A Non-Christian" may be copied onto disc as you wish. However, this article is protected by copyright and nothing is to be changed, altered, added to, taken out, or replaced. _____________________________________________________________________