MARRIAGE, DIVORCE, & REMARRIAGE
 
        Whatever happened to the sanctity and permanence of marriage?  A
   marriage now seems to be relegated in these times to the level of a
   casual and temporary commitment.
        Whereas God fearing folk in time past would endure suffering and
   great hardship rather than seek release from a marriage vow, many
   comtemporary marriages are ended abruptly by divorce with hardly a
   serious consideration of what the God of the Bible thinks.
        The clear majority of our students at Hephzibah House have come from
   homes in which divorce of the parents has occurred.  To further
   complicate this kind of situation, parents often choose to ignore the
   fact they already have one living spouse, and have married another
   spouse.  Some have even gone on to divorce the new spouse and choose a
   third, etc.
        My heart goes out to our girls who in some cases do not know who to
   call Mom or Dad because they have several!
        I can understand this Godless world sneering at the monogamous
   claims of scripture and the "until death do us part" principle it
   teaches, but I am profoundly grieved with the inroads "easy divorce" has
   had in professing Christendom.
        Apostolic and spriptural authority still maintains strict and
   limited standards for this issue: remain celibate if you are separated or
   divorced, or be reconciled to your spouse (1 Corinthians 7:10-11).  These
   are the only two options for an obedient believer until his or her spouse
   dies.
        In twelve years of gospel ministry and biblical counseling, I have
   learned there is no such thing as an "innocent party".  Not only is this
   idea inconsistent with the Bible doctrine of human depravity, it is an
   idea usually formed by listening to only one of the two individuals
   involved.
        I tell young people to treat marriage as the second most important
   decision of their lives (salvation being primary) and to therefore
   utilize great wisdom, prayer, and hearty counsel from their parents,
   parent substitute, or preacher before considering this life-long
   commitment.  I tell them to be prepared to look over the breakfast table
   at one another until one of them dies!
        I know that good and sincere men believe that in some cases (usually
   adultery and/or desertion) divorce is allowed by the Lord.  Some even go
   a step further and say since the marriage is dissolved by adultery or
   desertion, remarriage would be permissible.  Usually these arguments are
   formed on the basis of the so-called "Pauline Privilege" of
   1 Corinthians 7:15.
        May I respectfully disagree?  Our Lord Jesus said divorce was
   allowed (not ordered or expected) for the hardness of human hearts:
   (Matthew 19:8).  He taught that man ought not to put a marriage asunder
   because his ideal is one man, one woman as an inseparable unity
   (Matthew 19:6).  God spoke of how he hates putting away (divorce)
   (Malachi 2:16).  The Apostle Paul stresses that if you do harden your
   heart and separate and/or divorce, then you must either remain unmarried
   or be reconciled as the only two Biblical options
   (1 Corinthians 7:10-11).  Moreover, Paul stresses the law of God as our
   authority in this matter and that as long as our spouse lives, our
   marriage is intact, no matter when men may say or do
   (1 Corinthians 7:39, Romans 7:1-3).
        My preacher-brother, may I soberly admonish you, that when you
   officiate at a wedding in which either the bride or groom still has a
   living spouse, you are disagreeing with: Malachi 2:16; Matthew 19:6,
   19:8; Romans 7:1-2, and 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, 7:39.  By your presence
   and your actions are you not partaker of their sin?
 
 
 
 
 
 
        I pray that you seriously consider the claims of scripture that
   marriage is life-long and its only Godly dissolution is death before
   approving a potential separation or divorce.  If you only consider
   majority opinion, sentiment, feelings, emotions, or the majority of the
   books on the issue in Christian bookstores, you will undoubtedly give
   your approval and sanction to divorce.
        Paul stresses marriage is a picture of the relationship between
   Christ and His Church (Ephesians 5:21-32)...in other words, an
   inseparable relationship.  I am thankful that many preachers who believe
   in a so-called "scriptural divorce" are blessedly inconsistent, and still
   believe and teach that Christ and His Church are inseparable!
        Most of those with whom I have spoken who have divorced and then
   remarried another (even though their first spouse was alive) have been
   the first to tell me that rather than solving their problems and
   lessening their pressure and frustration, their remarriage has greatly
   complicated matters and even created new pressures.  Many have been
   honest to tell me God was right and they were wrong.
        If you have already sinned in taking another spouse my friend, you
   must honor your most recent vow, repent of you sin and beseech the Lord
   to make the best of the situation you have created in your self-will.
        God soberly views a vow, even though men do not
   (Ecclesiastes 5:1-6).  If you belive you can play fast and loose with
   your marriage vow, secure a divorce, and marry another, do not be
   surprised when God in return for your rebellion "destroys the work of
   your hands" (Ecclesiastes 5:6).
 
                        by Ronald E. Williams, Director
                                Hephzibah House
                     508 School St., Winona Lake, IN 46590
                  Reprints may be obtained from above address