Underground Informer Volume 5 Issue 18 November 5, 1994 Page 2 ================= ------- Delta's Magic Bar Delta 1 ================= ------- A.L.F. 2 Part 8 Copyright (c) 1994 Delta 1... I'm told the greatest mystery of life is the meaning of life. Perhaps for some this is true. Certainly most of us turn to our god for the answer at some point in our lives. I had always thought the meaning of life would be something different for everyone. While there is little reason for me to cast aside this theory, I must say that being chased by the government, having a talking green jackrabbit as companion, and being rescued by silver guys from the planet Pongo sure puts a different spin on things. Perhaps that's why I wasn't all that concerned when the silver guy announced on his way out the door to get us lunch that he was about to blow up the Earth. "So do you think he means it?" inquired the rabbit. I thought about it a bit. "Yeah, he seems a nice guy. I'm sure he'll bring us lunch," I said as something pricked at the edge of my memory. "No, I mean about blowing up the Earth. Do you think he was joking?" the rabbit ventured. "I expect lunch will be something we can eat. I don't see their poisoning us after rescuing us," I observed. I almost had it, but it danced away from me again, a darting shadow there at the edge of my mind, teasing me. "If they do blow up the planet, you're never going to get laid again," taunted the rabbit. The harder I tried to grasp the thought the quicker it slipped away. It was just so damn frustrating. What was it the rabbit had said, something about getting laid? "Look, you're really not my type, though I do appreciate the offer," I stuttered. I'd never had a rabbit come on to me before. I wasn't quite sure what to say, let alone how to tell what sex it was. "And they call rabbits dumb bunnies," muttered the rabbit as the silver guy pushed a cart of food into the room. Lunch wasn't alien at all. In fact, it came from Burger King. A mental picture of a flying saucer pulling up to the drive-through window flitted through my mind while I set aside a large bag of French fries, unwrapped a double cheeseburger, then removed the pickles and set them aside. "We find your fast food to have an interesting flavor, but we are not sure it's at all good for you. Still, you seem to like it," commented the silver guy as he passed me a strawberry milkshake. I thought it over. He was probably right, but then everything seemed bad for you these days. Hadn't someone just released some kind of report on buttered popcorn? I considered the salad the silver man set before the green rabbit. Sure, it looked healthy, but within its bright green leaves were a number of chemicals that sped its growth rate, helped keep the bugs from eating it, and retarded the growth of molds. There might even be something on it to retard spoilage. Did anyone really know the compound effects of these things on the body? Was it all just a guessing game played with cancer rates? I watched as the rabbit nibbled the green leaves, prodding a tomato out of the way as it burrowed in seeking a tasty morsel. I took a bite of my burger. What the hell, nobody lives forever. I was inattentively munching on a French fry when the thought that had been eluding me surfaced and hit me over the head with a sledgehammer. Bits of French fry scattered across the room as I shouted, "They shot me!" There were a lot of things I wasn't clear on that had taken place in the missing week of my life. I still wasn't clear on most of them, but the image of a fisherman in an underground complex who had ordered me shot to make a rabbit talk suddenly leapt into my mind. "Why didn't you talk?" I shouted accusingly at the rabbit. "I thought he was bluffing and I knew he was crazy. Can't say I wanted to end up spread across a laboratory table. Besides, it wouldn't have saved you from being shot," commented the rabbit. I thought it over as I sipped my milkshake. The rabbit did have a point. (Continued on next page) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~