THE CRUCIAL AFFIRMATION
by V. Walker

	Seconds passed, sweat coursing down his brow.  Time elongated 
itself, becoming thinner, slower, while the kid nervously clasped and 
unclasped his hands.
	"Soon," he thought, "soon."   He had rehearsed his part for hours 
last night, working feverishly from 7:00 PM until sometime around 4:30 AM.  
After dry retching all morning, and then practicing some more, he felt a 
glimmer of hope for the first time.
	"Lardner!"  
	The word hit him with the force of a blow.  His mind blanked and 
separated in two, half of it gibbering wildly.
	"I can't do it," he thought.
	"Lopez!"  
	Silence.
	It was as if a black hood had been placed over his head.  He 
understood the bliss that suicidal people must feel as they drown in deep 
waters.
	"Lopez."
	What did it matter now?  He was too far gone to ever go back.
	"Lopez?"
	All the arduous hours of training finally paid off. He felt 
confident, gargantuan in his ability to complete this task. He opened his 
mouth.
	"Here."