Copyright (c) 1995 

                         RUBY FINDS AN OFF-RAMP 
 
     Del and Dave Freeman snapped their heads around when the door
to the truck stop banged open. It was only Ruby, whistling. 
     "Howdy, y'all," she bubbled, and disappeared into the back,
resuming her whistling. 
     Dave looked at Del. Del looked at Dave. "Uh, that sounded like
'God Save the Queen'. Should we ask, or count our blessings that
she's found something else to keep herself out of our hair?" 
     Dave thought for a moment, then sighed. "As much as I like the
idea of leaving her to her own devices, I really like having notice
before I spend a few days in the slammer. Let's ask." 
     Del nodded, and called out, "Oh, Ruby!  Could you come out
here a minute?" 
     "Whassup, Freeman?" Ruby asked, appearing suddenly at Del's
elbow. 
     "Why so cheerful today? With all the talk lately about
censorship and the prosecution finally resting in the O.J. trial,
we were a little surprised at hearing you whistle." 
     "It's the Atlunnel, toots. Ah've found a new place to stir
up." Ruby pulled a nail file out of her "so many men, so little
time--but take a number" tote bag, and started smoothing a cuticle. 
    Dave decided to bell the cat. "The Atlunnel?" 
     "Y'all heard about that tunnel runs from England to France? 
They call it the Chunnel, for 'Channel Tunnel'. Ah found me a
tunnel runnin' from here to England, under the Atlantic. 
So...Atlunnel, for 'Atlantic Tunnel'." 
     Del looked more than a little puzzled. "Uh, Ruby, they haven't
built a tunnel under the Atlantic." 
     "No, not a real one, ya dope. This one's virtuous, jes' like
me. Mah bud Mikie tol' me all about it. It's like a new off-ramp on
Al Gore's Information Superhighway, and ah can get there on mah
Harley." 
     "Okay," said Dave, "so what's on the other end?" 
     "Sheesh. England. Ah jes' tol' ya that. It comes out in a
place called 'The Nest of the Dragon'--the propri..., uh, the guy
that runs it is named Bob. And since it's in England, he doesn't
even have to get a license from MickeySoft to use his name." 
     "Uh, Ruby," Dave interrupted, "Guys named Bob don't need a
license from Microsoft." 
     "Says you. Ah think Billy-boy Gates has hired mah pal Gerry
Spence to look into that. Anyway, ah've been in England. They've
got a whole bunch of really interestin' dirty words. Y'all know
what a busker is? They don't allow buskin' in front of bookstores
in England." 
     "Uh, Ruby, I don't think that means..." Del began, but Ruby
cut her off. 
     "Sorry, hon. Ah'd love to stay and shoot the breeze, but ah
got a date with a fellow on the other end of the Atlunnel. His
name's Mikie, too, but he says he's heavy into textiles." 
     "Textiles?" Dave echoed. 
     "Yup," Ruby confirmed. "He said he's a man of the cloth." 
                                    END