Announcements and Observations

(TCP/IP - 06/01/94) Anne Arundel County Police announced the end of a
tense standoff in Pasadena, Maryland today.  A 36 year old computer
programmer held two cats and several sea gulls hostage in his
waterfront townhome.  The suspect, identified as David Bealer, was
captured by police posing as carpet cleaners.  Bealer, whose demands
included having his carpets and deck cleaned, was found to be armed
only with a Salad Shooter.  He was charged with "assault with a leafy
vegetable" and "making terroristic threats."  The terroristic threats
apparently involved continuing to publish an electronic magazine,
called Random Access Humor, which has been classified as a public
mental health hazard.

Bealer claimed to be distraught over "sea gulls constantly crapping on
his deck and his cats puking on the carpet."
                               - - -
The 1994 RAH Reader Survey is still in full swing.  We've already
received 50% more responses in four months than for the 1993 survey,
which has been running for 16 months.  There are still thirty days
(until June 30, 1994) to respond in time to have your survey entered
in the drawing.  Interim standings in the "popularity" portion of the
survey follow (standings as of 5/29/94): 

  Stand Up Comic:
    George Carlin has edged in front.  Robin Williams and Steven
    Wright are tied for second.  It's still anybody's race.

  Comic Actor:
    John Cleese has surged into clear first.  Robin Williams and 
    Steve Martin are tied for second. 

  Comic Actress:
    Whoopi Goldberg remains in first, closely followed by Goldie
    Hawn.  Gilda Radner is in third place.

  Comedy Movie:
    Monty Python and the Holy Grail continues to pull away from the
    pack, led by Monty Python's Life of Brian.  The Naked Gun and
    Blazing Saddles are tied for third.

  Comedy Television Program:
    The fans of Monty Python's Flying Circus have vaulted it from a
    tie for second to clear first place.  Home Improvement is
    clinging to second place, with M*A*S*H in third.  Seinfeld is
    tied for fourth with The Simpsons.  If Home Improvement finishes
    in the top three I'll have to watch an episode to see what all
    the fuss is about.

  Humorous Novel:
    The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, making good use of Infinite
    Improbability Drive, is running away with this category.  In
    fact, it's still the only book that has received more than one
    vote.

  Comic Book:
    Groo the Wanderer is leading this category by virtue of having
    received two votes.  This category has been dominated by "None"
    or blank responses. 

  Humor Columnist:
    Dave Barry is running away with this category, having received
    votes from about 1/3 of all respondents.  (Several responses had
    blank entries in this category, making Dave's ratio of voters in
    this category more like 1/2.)  P. J. O'Rourke remains in second,
    just ahead of Dave Bealer (please, I'm blushing!).
                             - - -
REMINDER: RAH is now being published 10 times per year.  There will
be no July or August issues this year.  The September issue will be
released on September 1, 1994.
                             - - -
Dave Bealer will be offline during June and July in order to pursue a
non-RAH related writing project.  It is also hoped that a vacation
from RAH will give him some fresh ideas and enthusiasm.  The Puffin's
Nest will still be operating, but Dave makes no promises as far as
responding to mail quickly.

Manuscripts for RAH may still be submitted, but they will not be read
until August.
                             - - -
The deadline for submissions for the September 1994 issue is
08/25/94.