Reprinted from: The Computer Shopper---July 1993







Melinda's Wedding Bill Blues:

(who needs a prenuptial agreement when you've got a software
license handy?)





	Submitted for your perusal: "Hello, Melinda?  It's Bill!  sorry
to bother you at work, but I need to run something by you before
we finalize the guest list for the wedding.	

	"The folks in legal suggested we substitute something a little
different from the usual prenuptial agreement.  Just reach over
and grab a Microsoft Software License Card from any package on
your shelf.  It'll help you follow the general structure of what
they've come up with...."



Microsoft Marriage License Agreement



	This is a legal agreement between you (either an individual or
entity), the betrothed, and 

William H. Gates III.  If you do not agree to the terms of this
agreement , promptly return the engagement ring and the
accompanying items (shower gifts, wedding invitations, Porches,
and other items) to the place you obtained them.

	



1.GRANT OF LICENSE

a) Dedicated use.  Microsoft grants you the right to access the
Microsoft executive identified above, hereafter referred to as
BILL 3.0, at your place of residence after business hours.  You
may accompany BILL 3.0 to industry trade shows PROVIDED you do
so no more than once every thirty (30) days.  However, you are
restricted from blowing kisses, rolling your eyes, making rude
hand gestures, or falling asleep during BILL 3.0 keynote
addresses.



b) Transitory Use.  Notwithstanding a), your continued  use of
BILL 3.0 requires you to have physical possession of an original
marriage license (either this agreement or an equivalent
designed by the State of Washington) at all times.  While in
transit, you may access BILL 3.0 from a public telephone, over a
cellular network, or any other method you choose, so long as you
otherwise comply with this agreement.

                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                         2. COPYRIGHT

You acknowledge that BILL 3.0 is, in fact, owned by the
Microsoft Corporation and is protected by the United States
Constitution and the Propeller Head Protection Act of 1981.  You
may (a) make no more than one genetic clone of BILL 3.0 solely
for backup or archival purposes, or (b) transfer BILL 3.0 to a
cryogenic facility in the vent of an unrecoverable failure

                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
               3. COMPETITIVE UPGRADES 

You may not transfer free use of BILL 3.0 to another party. 
However, you must transfer your rights under this Microsoft
License Agreement on a permanent basis if BILL 3.0 requires an
unscheduled upgrade. In that event, this license agreement will
be terminated.  You will return BILL 3.0 and all accompanying
materials to the newly designated recipient of license.  You may
not decompile or disassemble the assets of BILL 3.0 for you
benefit.





	4. CROSS-PLATFORM INTERFACES

The BILL 3.0 package is capable of interfacing in multiple
nodes.  In the event of impaired functionality, you may not
interface with another system or network, or loan, rent, or
lease, or transfer your affections to another user except as
part of a transfer or other use expressly permitted 

by this Microsoft License Agreement.





	5. LIMITED WARRANTY

It is warranted that (a) BILL 3.0 will perform substantially in
accordance with industry standard 

marriage manuals for a period of ninety (90) days, and (b) any
physical facilities accompanying 

BILL 3.0 will be free of defects in function and condition under
normal use and service for a period of one (1) year.





	6. SPOUSAL REMEDIES

BILL 3.0's entire liability and your exclusive remedy shall be
(a) return of the emotional price paid for acquistion of BILL
3.0, (b) replacement of BILL 3.0 witha new mate that performs in
a similar manner, or (c) a lifetime supply of Microsoft mice. 
Petitions for divorce must be returned to the Microdoft legal
department with a copy of your reciept.  All waranties are void
if failure of BILL 3.0 to perform has resulted froma household
accident, verbal abuse, or premature product release.

These remedies are not available outside of Redmond, Washington.





	7. NO OTHER WARRANTIES

Microsoft disclaims all other warranties, either express or
implied, including but not limited to implied warranties of
performance, function, or fitness for a particular purpose with
respect to BILL 3.0.





	8. NO LIABILITY FOR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES

In no event shall Microsoft be liable for any damages whatsoever
(including, without limitation, damages for lost sleep,
interruption of social events, loss of companionship, or other
pecuniary domestic losses) arising out of your use of or
inability to use BILL 3.0, even  if Microsoft has been advised
of the possibility of such damages.

	"Sounds reasonalbe to me ....Hello? Melinda? What do you
think?..... Melinda are you still
threre?.....Melinda.....Melinda????????