The AMERICAN EXCUSE Card

  Caught cheating on your wife, or an exam?  Got drunk and run over
  a bunch of handicapped children?  Spray painted cars and stole
  some street signs?  Murdered your parents in cold blood?  If any
  of these minor inconveniences have happened to you, you need The
  AMERICAN EXCUSE Card.  We know it wasn't really your fault.

  Join such well known AMERICAN EXCUSE Card holders as The Menendez
  Brothers, Lorena Bobbit, and Judge Clarence Thomas in getting off
  scott free.  (* O.J. Simpson's application is still pending)

            Call 1-800-TRUST-ME for more information.

                     The AMERICAN EXCUSE Card
                  Don't leave the womb without it.

     Note: The AMERICAN EXCUSE Card is not honored in Singapore.

                    (Ad design by Dave Bealer)
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