Husband - one who lays down the law to his wife, and then accepts all her amendments.
Husband, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.
To catch a husband is an art, to keep him, a job.  the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
Nothing flatters a man as much as the happiness of his wife; he is always proud of himself as a source of it.
The true index of a man's character is the health of his wife.
A married man can do anything he likes if his wife doesn't mind.
No man, examining his marriage intelligently, can fail to observe that it is compounded, at least in part, of slavery, and that he is the slave.
The American girl makes a servant of her husband and then finds him contemptible for being a servant.
There isn't a wife in the world who has not taken the exact measure of her husband, weighed him and settled him in her own mind, and knows him as well as if she had ordered him after designs and specifications of her own.
The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money.
A husband needs to be blind at times and deaf at others.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
A husband should tell his wife everything.  She will always find out anyway.
Cursed be the man, the poorest wretch in life, crouching vassal to the tyrant wife. Who has no will but by her permission; Who has not money but in her possession; Who must to her his dear friend's secret tell
A running mate is a husband who dared to talk back.
He once asked a librarian, "Have you a book called:  Man: the Master of the Home?"  She replied, "That must be in the Fiction Department, sir."
Marriage for him is like a railroad sign.  When he first saw her, he stopped, then he looked - now he listens.
Who are we kidding?  A husband controls his wife like a barometer controls the weather.
A husband should not insult his wife publicly.  For he will certainly pay for it in the privacy of the home.
A husbands lament on love; Love seeks not to possess, but to be possessed.
Love - A find, a fire, a heaven, a hell, where pleasure, pain, and sad repentance dwell.
Pains of love be sweeter far Than all other pleasures are.
Love is a spaniel that prefers even punishment from one hand to caresses from another.
There is no greater glory than love, nor any greater punishment than jealousy.
As soon as you cannot keep anything from a woman, you love her.
Habit is everything - even in love.
Ah, how skillful grows the hand That obeyeth Love's command!  It is the heart, and not the brain, That to the highest doth attain, And he who followeth Love's command, Far excelleth all the landt!
It seems that it is madder never to abandon one's self than often to be infatuated; better to be wounded, a captive and a slave, than always to walk in armor.
Love without criticism is not love.
Beyond its own sweet will!
Mysterious Love!  uncertain treasure, Hast thou more of pain or pleasure?  Endless torments dwell about thee, Yet who would live, and live without thee?
Then crown my joys, or cure my pain: Give me more love, or more disdain.
How happy the lover, How easy his chain, How pleasing his pain, How sweet to discover He sighs not in vain.
My heart is wax to be moulded as she pleases but enduring as marble to retain.
Men are so made that they can resist sound argument, and yet yield to a glance.
Man is an intelligence in servitude to his organs.
A man may brave opinion; then he must submit to it.
Men have as exaggerated an idea of their rights as women have of their wrongs.
Men say of women what pleases them!  women DO with men what pleases them.
The man who is master of his passion is his wife's slave.
Give me that man that is passion's slave, and I will wear him in my heart's core, aye, in my heart of hearts.
A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes.
Disguise our bondage as we will, 'Tis woman, woman, rules us still.
No self-made man ever did such a good job that some woman didn't want to make a few alterations.
A self-made man?  Yes - and worships his creator.
For a man to pretend to understand women is bad manners; for him to really understand them is bad morals.
Most men do not mature, the simply grow taller.
...men want recognition of their work, to help them to believe in themselves.
There was never any reason to believe in any innate superiority of the male, except his strength.
A man, it seems, may be intellectually in complete sympathy with a woman's aim.  But only about ten percent of him is intellect - the other ninety, his emotions.
What attracts us in a woman usually binds us to her.
It's not the men in my life that counts - it's the life in my men.
There was nothing more fun than an obedient man!
You're not too smart, I like that in a man.
To a smart woman, men are no problem - useful.
It isn't the sissy men who help women most, but the rough, capable ones who can be caught and trained.
Man is not LIKE an animal.  Man IS an animal.
The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most any thing.
To women, we are like big dogs that talk.
The more I see of man, the more I like dogs.
Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses.
There are two kinds of men who never amount to much: those who cannot do what they are told, and those who can do nothing else.
It will all go on as long as women are stupid enough to go on bringing men into the world...
Let thy maid servant be faithful, strong, and manly.
The way to conquer men is by their passions: Catch but the ruling foible of their hearts, And all their boasted virtues shrink before you.
As long as you know that most men are like children, you know everything.
Teach thy son to love an older woman with his first love, for he shall know much and come to no harm.  She shall teach him, and he shall learn DIVERSE THINGS; he shall amuse her, and she shall train him in the way of women without entanglement.
The lords of creation men we call, And they think they rule the whole: But they're much mistaken, after all, For they're under woman's control.
A man in the house is worth two in the streets.
Men have sight; women insight.
Women's rights are men's duties.
Man has his will - but woman has her way.
A lady is a woman who makes a man behave like a gentleman.
Even the wisest men make fools of themselves about women, and even the most foolish woman are wise about men.
It takes more than a wise man to keep track of a foolish woman.
You see an awful lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
Throughout history, females have picked providers for mates.  Males pick anything.
There aren't any hard women, just soft men.
The first symptom of love in a young man, is timidity; in a girl it is boldness.  The two sexes have a tendency to approach, and each assumes the qualities of the other.
Though women are more emotional than men, men are emotionally weaker than women; that is, men break more easily under emotional strain than women do.  Women ... bend more easily, and are more resilient.
Woman understands children better than man does, but man is more childlike than woman.
In society it is etiquette for ladies to have the best chairs and get handed things.  In the home the reverse is the case.  This is why ladies are more sociable than gentlemen.
Women are quite unlike men.  Women have higher voices, longer hair, smaller waistlines, daintier feet and prettier hands.  They also invariably have the upper hand.
A man can be called ruthless if he bombs a country to oblivion.  A woman can be called ruthless if she puts you on hold.
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
Let men say whate'er they will, Woman, woman, rules them still.
Why are women...so much more interesting to men than men are to women.
A woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.
God made men stronger but not necessarily more intelligent.  He gave women intuition and femininity.  And, used properly, that combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I've ever met.
Most women set out to try to change a man, and when they have changed him they never let him go.
Women gauge men's devotion less by what they do, than by what they fail to do for them.
The whole world is strewn with snares, traps, gins and pitfalls for the capture of men by women.
Men are brought up for women to seduce.  Therefore, seduction is a form of command.
Men cook more, and we all know why.  It is the only interesting household task.  Getting down and scrubbing the floor is beneath them.  So?
Behind every successful man, is a woman.
Behind almost every woman you ever heard of stands a man who let her down.
A man would create another man if one did not already exist, but a woman might live an eternity without even thinking of reproducing his sex.
The man's desire is for the woman;  but the woman's desire is rarely other than for the desire of the man.
Women for the most part do not love us.  They do not choose a man because they love him, but because it pleases them to be loved by him.  They love love of all things in the world, but there are very few men whom they love personally.
Remember Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and in high heels.
It is not decided that women love more than men, but is indisputable that they love better.
The female of the species is more deadly than the male.
Women have more problems than men.  In the first place, they have to put up with them.
The only problem with women is men.
Oh my dear sir, if you knew how little I care for your sex, you wouldn't get any ideas in your head.  The fact is, in the way of males, I like only the bulls I paint.
For story and experience tell us, That man grows old and woman jealous; Both would their little ends secure: He sighs for freedom, she for power.  His wishes tend abroad to roam.  And hers, to domineer at home.
A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.
The road to success is filled with women pushing their husbands along.
God created woman only to tame man.
One is not born a woman, one becomes one.
Women, when they have made a sheep of a man, They shall always have a flock.
Women never truly command, till they have given their promise to accept; and they are never in more danger of accepting, than when men are at their feet.
Belladonna, n. In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison.  A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
There is no worse evil than a bad woman; and nothing has ever been produced better than a good one.
For the study of the good and bad in women two women are a needless expense.
She will, and she will not - she grants, denies, consents, retracts, advances, and then flies.
I know the nature of women; When you want to, they don't want to; And when you don't want to, they desire exceedingly.
Such, Polly, are your sex - part truth, part fiction; Some thought, much whim and all a contradiction.
...girls are so queer you never know what they mean.  They say No when they mean Yes, and drive a man out of his wits for the fun of it...
When I say that I know women, I mean that I know that I don't know them.  Every single woman I ever knew is a puzzle to me, as I have no doubt she is to herself.
Women are never stronger than when they arm themselves with their weakness.
The silliest woman can manage a clever man, but it needs a very clever woman to manage a fool.
There goes a woman who knows all the things that can be taught and none of the things that cannot be taught.
There are two kinds of women - goddesses and doormats.
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
A woman can look both moral and exciting - if she also looks as if it were quite a struggle.
She was short on intellect, but long on shape.
A woman who thinks she is intelligent demands equal rights with men.  A woman who IS intelligent does not.
I should like to know what is the proper function of women, if it is not to make reasons for husbands to stay at home, and still stronger reasons for bachelors to go out.
Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants anything.
They often say women cannot keep a secret, but every woman in the world has a hundred secrets in her own soul which she hides even from herself.  The more respectable she is, the more certain it is the secrets exist.
A woman's hopes are woven of sunbeams; a shadow annihilates them.
Women are always eagerly on the lookout for any emotion.
Women's intuition is the result of millions of years of not thinking.
What passes for women's intuition is often nothing more than man's transparency.
There is no such thing as a dangerous woman; there are only susceptible men.
A woman talks to one man, looks at a second, and thinks of a third.
The same woman may be a goddess to a boy, a temptation to a married man, and a "menace" to a bachelor.
After all, as a pretty girl once said to me, women are a sex by themselves, so to speak.
I will not say that women have no character; rather, they have a new one every day.
Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right, instantly.
She is like the rest of the women - thinks two and two'll come to make five, if she cries and bothers enough about it.
He ploughs the waves, sows the sand, and hopes to gather the wind in a net, who places his hopes in the heart of a woman.
Some believe a woman's advice has little value, but he who won't take it is a fool.
There are only three things to be done with a woman.  You can love her, suffer for her or you can turn her into literature.
A woman will sometimes confess her sins, but I never knew one to confess her faults.
What all women desire is Sovereignty.
The resistance of a woman is not always proof of her virtue but more frequently of her experience.
Scratch most feminists and underneath there is a woman who longs to be a sex object, the difference is that is not ALL she longs to be.
Dancing is wonderful training for girls; it's the first way to learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it.
The hardest task of a girl's life is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious.
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?
The females of all species are most dangerous when they appear to retreat.
Women have two weapons - cosmetics and intelligent tears.
A woman rarely discards one lover until she is sure of another.
A lady is one who never shows her underwear unintentionally.
A woman is the only thing I am afraid of that I know will not hurt me.
The special genius of women I believe to be electrical in movement, intuitive in function, spiritual in tendency.
There is something in a woman beyond all human delight; a magnetic virtue, a charming quality, an occult and powerful motive.
A beautiful woman delights the eye; a wise woman, the understanding; a pure one, the soul.
There is a woman at the beginning of all great things.
Women are the poetry of the world in the same sense as the stars are the poetry of heaven. - Clear, light-giving, harmonious, they are the terrestrial planets that rule the destinies of mankind.
Women twine and weave the roses of heaven into the life of man; it is they that unite us in the fascinating bonds of love; and, concealed in the modest veil of the graces, they cherish the external fire of delicate feelings with holy hands.
Women have served all these centuries as looking glasses possessing the magic and delicious power of reflecting the figure of man twice its natural size.
No one knows like a woman how to say things which are at once gentle and deep.
O woman!  dear woman!  whose form and whose soul Are the light and the life of each spell we pursue, - Whether sunn'd in the tropics, or chill'd at the pole, If woman be there, there is happiness too!
The hand that rocks the cradle Is the hand that rules the world.
They talk about a woman's sphere, As though it had a limit.  There's not a place in earth or heaven, There's not a task to mankind given...  Without a woman in it.
Women must do everything twice as well as men to be thought of half as good.  Luckily, this is not difficult.
Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior.
A good woman would rather be the mother of a genius than the wife of a hero.
A woman's guess is much more accurate than a man's certainty.
Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.
She is intolerable, but that is her only fault.
She not only expects the worst, but makes the worst of it when it happens.
Brigands demand your money or your life, women require both.
...why haven't women got labels on their foreheads saying "Danger:  Government Health Warning:  Women can seriously damage your brains, genitals, current account, confidence, razor blades and good standing among your friends."
Failing to be there when a man wants her is a woman's greatest sin, except to be there when he doesn't want her.
Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists principally of dealing with men.
She had lost the art of conversation, but not, unfortunately, the power of speech.
Women desire six things:  They want their husbands to be brave, wise, rich, generous, obedient to wife, and lively in bed.
Every rose has its thorn:  you never find a woman without pins and needles.
Nature has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given them little.
A married woman is much like a traffic accident; you never knew what hit ya' and you're parylized from the waist down ever since...
Women are like dogs really.  They love like dogs, a little insistently.  And they like to fetch and carry and come back wistfully after hard words, and learn rather easily to carry a basket.
To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girl friends.
When a woman is speaking to you, listen to what she says with her eyes.
Women are never what they seem to be.  There is the woman you see and the woman who is hidden.  Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
To win a woman in the first place one must please her, then undress her, and then somehow get her clothes back on her.  Finally, so she will allow you to leave her, you've got to annoy her.
A woman needs things. She needs to be loved, wanted, cherished, sought after, wooed, flattered, cosseted, pampered.  She needs sympathy, affection, devotion, understanding, tenderness, infatuation, adulation, idolatry - that isn't much to ask, is it?
You don't know a woman until you have had a letter from her.
Count no woman wise, until thou hast received a letter from her hand; but love none thou hast not seen face to face, for she who is not foolish on paper is worth knowing.
The signals of the century proclaims the things that are to be The rise of woman to her place, the coming of a nobler race.
Heart on her lips, and soul within her eyes, Soft as her clime, and sunny as her skies.
A tigress robbed of young, a lioness, or any interesting beast of prey, are similes at hand for the distress of ladies who cannot have their own way.
Most women have small waists the world throughout, But their desires are a thousand miles about.
She blended in a like degree The vixen and The devotee.
Womankind more joy discovers making fools, than keeping lovers.
Here's to woman!  Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.
A Creature not too bright or good For human nature's daily food; For transient sorrows, simple wiles, Praise, blame, love, kisses, tears and smiles.
Give us that grand word "woman" once again, And let's have done with "lady"; one's a term Full of fine force, strong, beautiful, and firm, Fit for the noblest use of tongue or pen; And one's a word for lackeys.
A woman on time is one in nine.
Give a woman an "inch" and she thinks she's a "ruler."
Every time I read where some woman gave a short talk I wonder how she stopped.
A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's; she changes it more often.
There is a tide in the affairs of women which, taken at the flood, leads - God knows where.
Every woman should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.
It's the good girls who keep their diaries; the bad girls never have the time.
Every line in her face is the line of least resistance.
The mirror is the conscience of women; they never do a thing without first consulting it.
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals.  To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
A woman's heart, like the moon, is always changing, but there is always a man in it.
Women have always had the last word, and now they ad lib.