This occurred while I was writing the series, before I wrote the next
part. I posted it to the a.r.s as a newsflash.

------- Forwarded Message Follows -------


Dammit!! I thought they couldn't hurt me any more, but they have struck deep.

I was called by OSA Africa the night before last to go in for a Security
Check. I said no.

Last night, H phoned me. She and I were very, very close friends - a deep
friendship, and we loved each other. She is OT8, Class 8, and in Scientology.

The conversation went something like this:
"Why don't you want to go in for your Sec Check?"
"My reasons are personal, I have left Scientology."
"But WHY? You KNOW you can tell me, I'm your friend, I care for you very
much. Remember all I have done for you in the past - I mean you no harm."
OUCH.
"Please, H., can't you just accept that my reasons are personal?"
"Yes, but you can tell me. WHO are you connected to, who is enturbulating
you like this?"
"I have made my own choices, no-one has influenced me."
"Yes, but WHO are you still in contact with?"
"I will not tell you."
"How can you do this to me, Kim, you are hurting me deeply by refusing me
communication." OUCH.
"After all the times we have shared, after everything, how can you turn
around and do this to me?" OUCH, OUCH, OUCH.
"H, please, I don't want to hurt you."
"Then tell me WHO they are?"
"I won't"
"Kim, I NEED you as a friend, you know there are no other terminals of
comparable magnitude here in Cape Town for me - I NEED you Kim, don't desert
me, don't betray me, don't leave me alone!"  OUCH, OUCH, OUCH!!!!
"H, I won't tell you."
"Are you treating me like an SP now? Have you turned enemy on me too?" OUCH
"Yes." OUCH, OUCH, OUCH!!!!!
"Well then, you have ARC broken me. Some day you can come and repair the
break." (tears in her voice)
"Bye, H."
"Bye."

Goddammit! The pain and guilt, oh Jesus. I had a very dear friend with
me at the time, who heard the whole thing, who understands. He just held me
while I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. I'm crying as I write this now.

Bastards! You FUCKING BASTARDS! How can you take that which is so precious
in life, a deep friendship, and use it to turn friends against each other?
HOW CAN YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT???

Yes, you hurt, and you hurt me bad. Take a win. Nailed the SP. Well,
FUCK YOU, I am NOT going back, I am NOT going to stop telling my story, I am
NOT going to shut up. I said NOTHING will stop me, and I meant it.

Yes, I am crying, yes, you hurt me deeply, yes, I know there will be more to
come, and NO, I will not go back, EVER.

I will keep everyone informed on the Internet of any further attempts you
make to get me back, of any open or covert attempts you make to stop me.
I still have not gotten to the part in "my Story" of what happened last time
I was summonsed - I'm still getting there.

Kim Baker

In deep pain, but not going back - I have broken the final tie now.
                            Kim Baker
Cape Town, South Africa                 E-Mail: Kim@uctlib.uct.ac.za
______________________________________________________________________

"Thoughtcrime is a dreadful thing, old man. It's insiduous. It can get
 hold of you without you even knowing it."
          - From "Nineteen-eighty-four", George Orwell